Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

"C'mon, Captain! My grandmother can push harder than you!" Trevar pushed against Jamie's legs while she pushed back, the sweat stinging her eyes and her left leg a mess of fire.

"I am pushing back, you bastard!" She snapped and moved her right leg to kick him in the shoulder as he leaned down against her.

He must have realized she was done and he lowers her limbs down to the floor where she lay and carefully started to massage the muscles in her calf and thigh despite her cringing and pulling away but he was undeterred in his warming down period.

"You did well, captain." He reached over and rummaged in his bag of torture devices that she had become well acquainted with over the past two weeks. The muscles in her legs had finally finished being regenerated but they were extremely weak and the nerves were re-learning the pathways so pain was a constant until she fully healed. Her knee was still healing but strong enough to withstand therapy. Bones was a sadist. Actually, Trevar was the sadist.

The dark skinned, very large therapist pulled out a silver case and then proceeded to pull out one of McCoy's hyposprays. No. She needed to revise her opinion. Both of them were sadists.

"Now, captain, I'm going to give you-"

Jim's eyes narrowed and the therapist faltered slightly under her glare. During a session, he was the reincarnation of her academy drill instructor. Terrifying and determined, refusing to accept less than your full effort and not afraid in the slightest but at the end of the sessions, when it came to the aftercare, he was a big marshmallow.

"Don't let the captain scare you. In fact,-" A distinctive southern drawl carried across the gym and she groaned and ground the heels of her hands into her eyes, willing herself to not cry at the sensation of tiny knives stabbing her repeatedly all up her leg, the burning agony of the new muscles jumping after the workout session enforced on her by the medical staff.

"-I'll finish up here, Ensign."

She felt the air shift and kept her eyes closed, whether to hide from Bones or to keep herself calm and controlled to ignore the pain, she couldn't tell.

A cold hiss and sting on her left hip signified Bones giving her her muscle relaxant and pain medication. She fucking hated that stuff. The therapy made her tired enough as it was without the meds adding to it. She'd rather have the pain than this weakness. She may have said she didn't blame Spock for the accident but she was still mad about being hurt. Just...not at him.

Jamie's muscles started to relax and the pain in her leg diminished to a low level throb and Bones started working the muscles again.

"I hate you."

"Well, I love you too, darlin'." He carefully attached the brace to her leg and Jamie lowered her hands, staring at the ceiling. He moved to lay next to her but stayed quiet, letting her choose when or if they'd talk. She'd been refusing to speak to him since her enforced co-habitation, only speaking to him as her doctor.

"Why do I keep getting called captain?" Turning her head, she saw Bones frown in confusion. Clearly, not the question he'd been expecting.

"Well, kid, for some unknown reason, you were promoted to captain after you saved the Earth."

"But I resigned."

McCoy sighed, weary and far more tired than she'd heard in a long time. "Just because you're not in command doesn't mean you're not still our captain."

Huh. She hadn't really thought of it that way.

"How's it going with Spock?"

The temperature in the room cooled significantly and she shivered in discomfort. She didn't want to talk about him. She didn't want to think about him.

He'd been patient with her. Much like how he'd been before she 'died' in the warp core. Two years ago she'd have given anything to have had this peaceful sort-of relationship. It was far from a friendship but it was still respectful on both their parts.

Elizabeth had started to warm to him. Jamie had caught her talking to Selly the Sehlat, telling him that he couldn't eat Spock and she decided that was progress. Elizabeth had even requested Spock read her her bedtime story last night. Listening to Spock's deep, calm voice reading Stuart Little from the living room area had even calmed her enough for her to doze. She'd woken the next morning covered with a blanket and with a feeling of contentment that she hadn't felt since waking on the Enterprise.

"Fine. It's going fine."

McCoy hummed thoughtfully before pushing himself up and pulling Jim up, mindful of her limited mobility with her brace and handing her her cane.

"Have you thought about spending time with Spock socially? Maybe kick the uppity bastard's ass in a game of chess?"

Snorting, she shook her head at his suggestion. "Well, aren't you the little matchmaker."

Bones rolled his eyes, placing a hand on her right elbow to steady her as she slowly made her way to the quarters. Jamie thought of Spock in a capacity other than caregiver. She remembered the sight of him fighting alongside her during the fight on Kronos, the fierce determination to protect her and her crew. She had trusted him with her life. She still did. Just not with her heart.

She'd never been with him socially so she had no frame of reference. Jamie wondered what he'd be like. Would he relax his strict control? Look at her with soft eyes full of adoration and regret like he had been doing the past two weeks or would he remember everything that he had hated about her? Would she be forced to fall in love with him because everything she had felt would come flooding back or would he hurt her all over again?

When she had first watched him from a distance, the sight of him touching his fingers to Uhura's in a kiss had caused her a sick sort of pain with a feeling of betrayal despite the fact that she wasn't his. When he sat with her in the back of the rec room, eyes only for Nyota and not even friendly towards her, not showing a hint of even friendship except for a weird sense of possessive protection to keep Jamie alive. He had been closed off, only showing the negative emotions towards her like fear, anger, and disdain when she was hurt despite the fact that she was only ever injured when protecting her people.

"He's not gonna give up, kid. He's as stubborn as a mule just like you."

Jamie smiled, leaning against the door of the assigned rooms. "What is it with you and comparing me to four legging animals you can ride when it comes to Spock? I always knew you were a kinky bastard. Does Uhura know?"

McCoy's face twisted into his 'I would kill you if it wasn't for the Hippocratic Oath' look.

The door behind her suddenly opened and the world tilted when a pair of strong arms caught her before landing on the ground. Spock looked down at her with undisguised concern and affection and her breath hitched. He held her as if she was something to be treasured, something sacred and carefully set her on her feet, his hands staying on her sides longer than necessary as if he couldn't bear to let go from the little contact she'd allowed him.

Bones, the bastard, had a smug look on his face and looked towards him. "You know Jim was a chess grandmaster back at the academy. I wonder how'd she do against a vulcan in a game of logic."

He looked Jamie over with false scrutiny and a gleam in his eye that suggested trouble. She'd clearly been a bad influence on the curmudgeonly doctor. "You might stand a chance but I don't know-" his eyes slowly trailed from her to him. "-my money is on her."

Spock's grip on her ribs tightened at the challenge and Jamie wanted to punch her friend. Baiting a Vulcan was almost like poking a bear with a sharp stick.

xXx

Twenty minutes and a short shower later found her and Spock sitting across from one another at the dining table playing their first game of chess. Even though she wasn't at full capacity and tired as hell from her therapy and meds, it was an interesting change watching Spock turn from caregiver to opponent. His eyes seemed focused, his body language was in full attack mode, as if he was ready to prove himself to her and it was glorious.

Moving her pawn forward the two spaces, she watched as he started to counter her and she smiled when she recognized the play. Queen's gambit. Not the easiest to defend against but possible. Jamie had two options:Slav defense or Queen's gambit declined.

He had a strong point on d5 after 1.d4.d5 but she moved her piece to counter using Queen's gambit declined. Spock's brow raised in surprise when she sacrificed her knight, only to take his moments later. "Check"

90 minutes later, they were at a full blown stalemate. Jamie had an impressive selection of Spock's pieces that matched her own pile and were in a constant state of check with each other. Her posture was relaxed but her mind was clearly on the game, enjoying catching him off-guard.

"You cheated."

Jamie rolled her eyes but smiled good-natured at her opponent. "What move was illegal Mr. Spock?"

"There was no illegal move however, you changed the frame of competition by playing illogically not to win or lose but to end the game in a stalemate." He looked confused and it was fun putting that expression on him.

Leaning back, Jamie yawned and stretched, her day catching up with her. "I could have tried to win but I'd have failed. The only option left was to prevent your victory."

Spock tilted his head, frowning in thought before tipping both of their kings. "I concede to your logic."

"Just imagine how I would have wiped the board with you if I had've had my faculties at full capacity without Bones' potions slowing me down."

"Indeed." That warm, affectionate look was, again, directed at her and her face grew hot as she ducked away from it. She knew it was temporary. He'd lose interest soon enough.

xXx

"And how would I succeed in my endeavors considering the captain's discontent with my person?"

Spock sat across from Nyota as she braided Elizabeth's stubborn curls in an attempt to rein in the chaos from his attempt to replicate Jamie's work on the child's hair. He had been...unsuccessful.

Pausing in her work, her face took on a thoughtful expression. "There's...not a lot I can help you with. Your ability to relate to and empathize with humans isn't the strongest. Sometimes you have to go against logic even though it is anathema to your person. You have to learn to balance both halves of yourself, human and vulcan."

Spock considered this. It was a difficult concept. His attempts and his goals are logical. She is the mother of their child. She is the rightful captain of the Enterprise. She is his shi'masu. His perfect match and he desperately wants her to be his bondmate, friend, captain, and everything in between but she only wishes for civility and nothing more.

The sight of her scars across her back were a shock to say the least. It had taken immense meditation to accept the fact and control the emotions that it had brought forth in him.

It was also disheartening. He would take a step forward with their potential relationship only for Jamie to take two away from him. Sometimes, rarely, he'll see a break in her mask where she'll shine through but it is usually short-lived before it disappears.

"Perhaps-" Uhura shook her head, tying off the French braid in Elizabeth's hair. She took off like a shot with a kiss to her aunt 'ota and went to play with the finger-painting kit that Leonard had replicated for her at the table.

"Have you ever heard of kintsugi?"

The sudden change of direction the conversation took surprised him and he fumbled, shaking his head.

Uhura curled her legs under her, looking as graceful and in control as usual. "It's an ancient Japanese pottery method. More accurately, a repair method."

What did earth pottery have to do with the captain?

"When a piece was broken or damaged it was repaired using gold. It was seen to seen to have similarities to the philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect. The imperfections were highlighted by the beauty of the gold, highlighting the area in a way to celebrate or focus on it, to accept it as a part of the whole, beautiful despite the damage."

The metaphor was an apt description.

"You should accept the whole James Kirk rather than only a portion of her, try appealing to her in every aspect." Tapping a finger on her chin, she considered scenarios. "Maybe a game of chess?"

"I have done this much."

Nyota suddenly looked far too interested. "Oh? How did that go?" Her eyebrows came down at Spock's hesitance. "You lost? Or did it go bad?"

"She manipulated the game into a stalemate where there was no winner." Spock reluctantly admitted.

"Only Jamie!" She lit up in amusement. "How did she respond to the game?"

"She seemed...pleased at the outcome. Her strategy was unique and intriguing." Spock desperately wanted repeat the experience. It was a rare experience to have had someone challenge him intellectually. He bemoaned the missed opportunities he had had with her. Surak taught that regret was illogical. Kaiidth. What is, is. However, Spock could not help but regret.

"Sa-ek! Look!"

Tiny purple hands grabbed his and, to Spock's horror, he saw Elizabeth completely covered in, quite possibly, the entire contents of the paint tubes. The toddler proudly held up a piece of paper with multiple colors splashed on it. Nyota doubled over in laughter as Spock contemplated the murder of her fiancé for purchasing the finger paints.

"Looks like you'd better come up with a strategy that is 'unique and intriguing' if you go home with a toddler that looks like that!" She said in between gales of laughter. "She's gonna kill you!"

"But I did not purchase the paints." Spock protested. Elizabeth came closer with her painting while rubbing a hand across her face to push stray strands of hair Nyota had missed and added green paint to the multitude of colors.

Nyota ignored him and cooed at the child, "That is beautiful!" Taking the picture, she held it up to Spock and he knew, in that moment, that his friend was not going to help him in the slightest. "I bet your mommy would love to see it right now!"

Elizabeth clapped at the idea, splashing more paint onto herself and some onto Spock. He wondered if he would be able to use Nyota's shower to clean her but Elizabeth had already started making her way towards the door, leaving handprints on the control.

"Don't forget her art, commander." She said sweetly as he started to panic.

Snatching up the picture, he followed Elizabeth through the corridors back to their quarters.

When they stepped inside, Spock believed/hoped Jim was out but he heard a low murmuring coming from the room she was sharing with their daughter.

"I know, Delilah. I can't leave, yet...We'll see."

Spock felt cold at the words. Was she truly that unhappy here? He could only hear half of the conversation due to the acoustics in the room and the door muffled the rest.

"Elizabeth's happy but she misses you, too...In a few months. No...Spock's not...I can't talk about it right now."

He wasn't what?

"I know. I miss you, too...You're going to have to ship out some of that coffee cake. I would sell my soul for it!" A muffled laugh. "You know I can't cook...Alright, I'll talk to you later."

Spock moved away before the end of the call and Jamie stepped out leaning heavily on her cane. She took one look at Spock and Elizabeth, taking in the giggly, paint-covered blond and the similarly bewildered vulcan and laughed, high and bright with eyes sparkling. Perhaps there was hope.