Frozen Wasteland

(Author's note- Happy holidays everyone! And to celebrate I give you... angst...yay? So quick warning for this chapter, there is some reference to self-harm, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, and even though I didn't intend it like this, what is potential internalized homophobia. If any of this is a problem for you, know that it isn't a huge part of the chapter, just kinda mentioned. Finally, the bold parts are the characters own thoughts. Enjoy!)

Liam squirmed in his seat, but to his dismay, he couldn't find a comfortable position without irritating the bandages and the wounds they covered. You would think after years of hulking out and having Powerhouse's wings destroy his back, he'd be used to it. But that was unfortunately not the case.

If anyone noticed his discomfort, no one said anything. Thalia was piloting the back-up quinjet she had stored away just in case, Melissa was organizing and cleaning her arrows threateningly, causing Liam to sit further away from her, and Thrud was gazing out the window in a wistful way, like she wished she was instead flying out there instead of being stuck in the metal grave.

Frankly, Liam was inclined to agree with her. Both due to his introverted nature, his bizarre upbringing in first a Hydra lab then the Avengers mansion, and his Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde situation, human contact was never an aspect he enjoyed. Perhaps that's why him and Thalia had been such good friends when they were younger, with her boisterous attitude and his careful rationality, they had made a good team.

He sighed. No "team" with a Hulk ever ended up good, that was a lesson that was clear as day. It was the initial reason for his self-inflicted isolation after his dad passed away. Not a day went by when he didn't wish for someone, anyone who could understand, help, or even listen to his problems, but the only person who understood what Liam went through was buried six feet under.

Melissa's loud voice suddenly spoke up, and Liam fought the urge to flinch at the sudden noise. "So, I know I'm new to this whole 'group project' situation, but shouldn't we at least know the plan?"

Truth be told Liam was also curious to know the answer. Thalia had been mysterious after revealing the news of Thomas' death, quickly herding them onto the plane and claiming, "I know where Sinful is right now, and I know we all want revenge so let's hurry up and go."

Not that he necessarily blamed her. The news of Thomas' death had hit him hard, making the only force preventing the emergence of Powerhouse his overwhelming numbness and grief. Thomas and his family had always been such strong presence in everyone's life, constance in a state of rapid change. Then Uncle Steve passed away, and then Aunt Sharon, and it looked like fate had finished the job because Thomas was gone too.

Liam wished that someone else was there, someone that had promised to never leave him like the others. Out of all his years of anxiety and depression, there had always been one person to pick him up again when he didn't know what to do. At first it had been rough. After the Avengers were officially disbanded, he thought he would never see any of the kids again. Those beliefs were ruined after the end of his first month as a homeless teenager in Arizona, when the Winter Warrior, Andrei Stepanov showed up, claiming to be checking up on him for Shield.

Andrei had always been his best friend in the mansion when all the kids had lived together with their parents. Neither of them had been planned, with Liam being a clone Hydra had created and Andrei being a Generation Four member of the Black Widow program that Aunt Natasha had rescued. But their closeness surviving the death of the Avengers had surprised him. Eventually he got used to the monthly visits the assassin graced him with, enough to the point where when Andrei had stopped about a year ago, Liam had felt emotionally wrecked.

Back in reality, after pressing a few button to presumably put the plane into autopilot, Thalia stood out of the pilot's chair and sat with the other passengers. "Right… the plan. Well using my satellite radar technology, I was able to pick up on a spot in the arctic where frequencies that radiated off matched the wavelengths of the ones Modok gives off when he teleports."

"So there should be our foes base of operations." Thrud commented.

Thalia nodded. "Exactly, so once we land, we bust in and take down Modok and Sinful."

"That's not what I asked."

Confused, Thalia turned towards Melissa after her comment was made, prompting the archer to speak up again. "What weapons do they have? Where's our point of entrance? What are we actually going to do when we get there?"

"Look I…" Thalia started before being interrupted by Black Arrow.

"I'm sending you all off to imminent and painful death?' Is that what you're going to say? 'Cause that's what's going to happen if we don't get our shit together and figure out what we're going to do."

At that point Thalia's frustration with the situation had reached its highest point. "What's the point? Powerhouse won't follow instructions, you're not going to listen to anything I have to say, and Thrud probably barely understood what I was saying earlier about finding the base. So let's just do what we do best and do our own thing."

With that Thalia dramatically turned around and sat back into the pilot seat. Melissa shrugged and continued checking her weapons, and Thrud reluctantly turned back towards the window, mumbling about, "not being an idiot" and "mostly understanding."

Fiddling with his hands, Liam couldn't help but think about the Stark's words. He wished he could control Powerhouse more, do anything more in battle besides turn into the world's most destructive mass weapon but he couldn't. It was times like then he became upset that the Avengers hadn't dug around the Hydra base they had found him in, maybe finding an instructions manual or something.

He felt sadness at these thoughts. Of course they didn't find anything, who would? No one planned for this situation. No one planned for the mistake that was Liam/Powerhouse to emerge.


The snow covered landscape spread for miles and miles, leaving nothing for the eye to see except white oblivion. Briefly Liam thought, "This would've been a good place for Powerhouse to hide out. Nothing to break and no one to hurt for miles."

The emptiness was overwhelming though. No matter how safe it would've been for the time being, no one could stand living there for the time being. Being alone like that would drive anyone insane.

"We're almost there, so get ready." Thalia called from the pilot seat while struggling to navigate through the treacherous snow storm.

Melissa began collecting her arrows, which had been strewn all around her seat, and Thrud checked over her armor in preparation for battle. Liam was hit with the urge to prepare too, but soon realized it would be pointless, as he wasn't the one that was going to be fighting.

"Ok, when we touch down we'll probably be under some heavy fire so our heavy hitters need to provide some cover while I look for an entry point. Black Arrow, I need you to keep an eye out for Modok. If he starts using-" Thalia's speech was cut off when the ship rapidly dipped downwards. The lights began flickering and the monitors cut off one by one.

"Thalia, what's going on?" Liam yelled, already feeling the panic creep up on him. He desperately began to slow his breathing.

If Thalia was going to answer it was cut off by a familiar face appearing on the central monitor. "What part of technopath do you imbeciles not understand? Are you really so dense that you tried to fly a ship here?" Modok's high pitched arrogant voice resonated over the system. Liam tried to think if he had ever fought the AIM created monstrosity before, but if he had, only Powerhouse would know.

Thrud stood up as the ship continued to rattle around. "Stark, can you get the vessel under control?"

Thalia grunted, "If I could, do you think we would still be plummeting to our icy demise? We need to abandon ship."

She got up and moved to the back of the quinjet, where she stood on a designated platform as pieced of her armor assembled around her. Her voice became clearer as it instead broadcasted into the earpieces she had previously given them. "Okay, the hatch is opening up. I'll take Merida and fly us to the ground. Thrud, my radar is picking up machine guns set up as a welcoming gift, take 'em out. Liam, you know what to do."

The Iron Maiden suit lit up as it powered to life, and it wasted to time in grabbing a disgruntled Black Arrow and blasting out through the open rear of the jet. Thrud spun her hammer around a couple of times, causing the snow that had entered the plane to begin swirling around, before soaring out.

Carefully Liam inched towards the opening, letting dark thoughts he often kept concealed flood his mind. Each one was painfully sharp, never dulling despite the passing of time.

You're a monster. A true one. Born from monsters, raised a monster. Nothing more. And not just when you're Powerhouse. You'll never be accepted. Even as Liam. Because you are weak. The weakest person in control of the strongest monster. Pathetic.

Liam screamed, both from the pain his shifting muscles and bones gave off and the darkness of his thoughts. He felt himself slowly reach that limit, the barrier his mind had, the edge between being in control and not. It was a trick his dad had taught him when he had first started training to control his other half. Don't fall of the edge, jump off.

Everyone wishes you're dad were here and not you! Your dad wouldn't have to be grateful that Powerhouse's healing gets rid of the scars! You're dad wouldn't wonder if turning back would even be worth it! You're dad wouldn't have disgusting feelings for Andrei, a man worth ten times more than you!

A choked gasp escaped his lips, and tears began flooding down his cheeks. By that point the pain was so overwhelming that he didn't even really feel the wings burst from his back. Blackness crept around the edge of his vision, suffocating him. Or maybe greeness. Liam always hated that part, where momentarily him and Powerhouse were one in the same, and he could feel the thoughts of endless destruction, so bloody and red they nauseated him.

With one last hopeful push, Liam felt the body that was no longer his moving to jump out of the crashing ship. If all went well, Powerhouse would at least partly understand the instructions Thalia had given out and follow them.

His last thoughts before he gave up control completely were of a red headed Shield agent that checked up on him from time to time, of sly smiles and haunted green eyes that mirrored his own, of strong hands that gave him strength he didn't realize he needed, of the man that anchored Liam down in a world of chaos. An agent who was all Liam had ever wanted in life, that hadn't even bothered to show up.