The Massive and the Irken Armada hovered above a planet. It had once been lush and green, but had long since been stripped of its resources by the Irken Empire. Nobody knew what the planet had been called or who had lived there, and quite frankly nobody cared. Now it was just another storage planet.
Scattered across the planet's surface were a series of tall rod-like constructions, each tipped with a large sphere. These hollow monstrosities housed everything necessary for interstellar conquest; spaceship parts, abstract weapons, and snacks.
The Tallest stood in silence as the facility's hover platform ferried them up, coming to a stop in front of a specific capsule. A purple beam of light shot out from the platform and into a cavity in the compartment covering, causing the casing to turn transparent.
"The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech." Red gestured at the machine contained within, which was truly a sight to behold.
This machine was top of the line. It was a dull mix of brown and red except for the vivid eye-like highlights beside the forward hatch and the irken insignia in bold black atop it. It possessed digitigrade dual-legged configuration; what some would call chicken legs. To the sides of the cockpit were weapon pods filled with high impact rockets, and on its shoulders sat energy blasters. It even possessed a massive energy cannon. Coupled with its ability to camouflage, this machine would in theory be almost unbeatable. Yes, the Megadoomer X-3 Combat Stealth Mech seemed like an appropriate name indeed.
"I don't like it." Purple shook his head, unimpressed.
"We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it."
"Well, I should like it."
The platform zoomed upwards again, stopping at yet another capsule. It went transparent, and the Tallest peered inside.
"Malfunctioning SIR units. Hey, these things are dangerous; anyone using these could really hurt themselves." Purple said, pausing for a few moments to watch the chaos inside of the storage pod. "Send them to Zim."
Red gasped in mock horror. "But they'll destroy him."
The two exchanged looks before bursting into a fit of laughter. "Uh, let's go eat food."
The platform rose, carrying them away.
The computer noted their decision, and a mechanical claw extracted the capsules from their spaces in the wall and placed them on a loading dock. From there they were loaded onto an Irken transport ship.
Contents of Storage Unit W63 to be sent to Invader Zim. Contents of Storage Unit W29 to be sent to Invader Tenn. All set for lift off. Next stop, the Intergalactic Shipping Hub.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The Intergalactic Shipping Hub was much like a human post office, only on a bigger scale. Packages dropped off there were sent all over the universe by wormhole. This particular Shipping Hub was covered in conveyer belts, which gave it the nickname 'The Conveyer Belt Planet'. The Irken in charge of the operation didn't care, conveyer belts were useful and that was that.
The planet's former inhabitants were now were slaves to the Irken Empire. They worked day and night labelling and shipping boxes and envelopes under the guard of the slave drivers.
Smikka Smikka Smoodoo was sick of it all. His planet had been beautiful, a hub of arts and sciences. Now, it was just another useless shipping centre. Like all of his people, Smikka was a short yellow creature with a spiral on his head. This spiral was what had earnt his people their nickname, the 'Screwheads'.
"Irken monsters, conquer my people. Take our planet, force us to ship packages. Can I call myself a man if I am slave to the Irken machine? Our futures, crushed like so many little loving packing peanuts. No, NO, I say. I must rebel. I will, I WILL, switch the addresses on these two boxes."
Before Smikka could press a single button on the remote he was holding, a shock spear flew out, tazing him. He let out a roar of pain.
"Nice try, but next time maybe don't announce your plans to the entire planet." The Slave Driver walked away, dragging a protesting Smikka behind him.
"You can't stop the revolution. Nooooo-" He shouted, only to be shocked again.
"Just be quiet."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Meanwhile on Earth
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"And then Dib says-" Zim let out a growl of frustration. "In front of the whole class, filthy slug. Ms. Bitters called on me, understand. Filthy, squirmy Dib. SQUIRMY!"
"What are you talking about?" Spuddy was starting to get creeped out. "Who are you?"
"I can't believe the things that human has done to me, ME. And" -Zim flailed his arms wildly- "DIB!"
"Why are you following me? I don't even go to your skool."
"And the-" Zim trailed off with another growl. "Oh, he makes me so mad. The horrible puny-brained meat child, with his little glasses and his..."
Spuddy decided to make a break for safety. He flew towards his house, peering out the door only to see that the odd green kid was still there, and still ranting. He slammed it shut.
"My name is Dib, with my pointy hair." Zim lingered on the porch for a moment, then to turned around and walked. "Pointy hair. I eat food and have stuff."
Spuddy watched his departure with relief.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Oh, he will pay, how he will PAY!" Zim gave one last shriek before entering his house, slamming the door behind him. moments later,
Moments later a large metal box slammed into his yard, and Zim ran back out to see the source of the massive thud.
"Wow," He exclaimed, he had never gotten a package this big before. "GIR, help me get this inside at once."
"Aww, do I have to? I wanna watch the monkey show."
"Yes GIR, you have to."
"NOOOOOOOO, I don't wanna. If I don't see this show, I'm gonna hold my breath."
Zim sighed. He knew that GIR's though patterns were just extremely advanced, to the point of being confusing, but he sometimes the robot seemed plain stupid. "GIR, you don't breathe."
"Okee dokee, I'm gonna lift that box."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Half an hour later…
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Ok GIR, I'm just MUNCH going to blow up the GOBBLE side of the house so we can NOM fit the box in. Then- GIR stop eating that, it's filthy."
GIR was shovelling the loose dirt churned up by the impact into his mouth. "Awwwww, it tastes like chicken."
"No GIR, no."
NOM NOM NOM
"I love chicken."
"GIR, if you stop that I will give you" -Zim paused, then plucked a piece of grass- "this amazing grass. The grass entices you, GIR."
The eyes on GIR's costume somehow seemed to widen. "Ooooh, oooh, gimee."
"Only if you help me blow up this wall, and for Tallest's sake, stop devouring that filthy earth matter."
GIR snatched the blade of grass out of ZIM's hand.
"Ooooh, it's pretty."
"Yes GIR, now-"
But the robot was gone, having literally moonwalked through the front door, which now bore a GIR shaped hole.
"You don't think anyone will notice that?" The computer's voice startled Zim, and he jumped.
"Eh, Computer, is that you? I didn't know that you could speak to me outside the lair."
"I can. I just usually pretend like I can't so I don't have to talk to you as much. I guess that won't work anymore."
"How dare you?" Zim shook his fist. "Zim is the greatest Zim that has ever lived, the greatest everything else too. You should be honoured to speak to such a mighty being."
"Yeah, I am so awed by your presence. Just feeling so honoured right now." The computer monotoned.
"That's better. But next time call me the most magnificent, amazing, tough…."
Zim went on for about a minute. The computer let out a bored "uh huh" every five seconds.
"-and all over Zim-iest Irken ever. Got it?"
"Uh huh"
"Good now lets-"
"Uh huh"
"Hey don't interu-"
"Uh huh"
"Computer," Zim stomped his foot angrily "Cease this nonsense at once."
And so no more attention was directed at Zim. The computer -hearing the scream- stopped in the middle of another 'uh huh'. "What is it, Zim?"
"I stopped instructing you a while ago. Why are you still affirming my superiority?"
"First of all, I wasn't affirming your superiority. Second of all, I set my voice on a loop so I could pretend to listen. Third of all, I'm just going to call you Zim."
"Lies, LIES."
"No, I'm really serious here, I-"
"Silence."
Zim, I-"
"Silence."
"I just-"
"SILENCE."
The computer fell silent after that, realizing that it was not going to get a word in.
"That's better. Now to blow up part of my house in order to obtain this package. The question is, should I use a minibomb or a gigabomb?"
"If I may, a gigabomb would level the-"
"Silence, fool. If Zim wants to hear from you he will demand it. Now, I think I will use the gigabomb. Bigger is always better, especially when it comes to explosions."
Whistling a tune, Zim walked in the house. When he reappeared, he had an irken gigabomb under one arm, and a welding torch under the other. Pulling on his welding glasses, he lit the fuse on the gigabomb then ran for his lab. He made it just in time, the whole building shook with an enormous Bang.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Somewhere on Cyberflox
"Yes," cheered Fitzoo-Menga, "Zim is back, I might not even have to do that whole Virooz thing after all. Sure, that plan was awesome, but so are gigabombs."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
At The Membrane Residence
"And then," Dib laughed, "I said- ooh. And Zim was like 'Arggg'. "
"Then he s-" Gaz's hand clamped over his mouth, smothering him.
"Look Dib, I'm almost to level three, and my clan is depending on me. So, shut your mouth, before I shut it for you. Understand?"
Dib's enthusiastically nodded his head, his eyes wide.
"Good. Now be quiet." Gaz said, releasing him.
Just then, the whole neighbourhood was rocked by a thunderous explosion. Dib rushed to the window. The scene was chaotic, the buildings had been coloured black with ash. He could see a plumes of smoke rising from Zim's house, or at least what had once been Zim's house. Now it was nothing but a smoking pit.
"Zim is up to something, and it's up to me to figure out what." Dib posed heroically. A fanfare of trumpets played in the background, and Gaz stomped out of the room. The music cut off abruptly, and she re-emerged, dragging the trumpet player by the ear. She chucked him out the front door with strength a girl her age shouldn't have possessed.
"And stay out. Geez, can't anyone get any peace around here?" She grumbled. Dib tried to dart out the door but she grabbed him by the ear as well.
"Oh no you don't, anytime you go play with Zim it ends with a lot of noise."
"We don't play, we're enemies. And, no it doesn't."
"Oh yeah?"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Flashback
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Gaz was sitting in the back of class playing her Game-Slave.
"Hey Gaz, maybe you could-"
Gaz growled at the teacher with animal ferocity.
"Never mind."
Screams broke out from down the hall in Ms. Bitter's room, but she ignored them. The whiners were always screaming about something.
'Oh no, I broke my spine.'
'Oh no, I'm dying.'
'Oh no, I'm being eaten by a creature of unimaginable horror.'
Whiners.
So, she continued playing. Just as she was about to defeat the cyborg pig and his zombie piglet minions the whole klassroom shook, knocking the gaming device out of her hands. As it hit the ground the words "Game Over" flashed on the screen.
There was fire in Gaz's eyes. She looked out the window just in time to see a giant hamster stomp past, chased by Zim.
"Come back Ultra-Peepi, obey your master."
Then Dib ran by, following the trail of crushed cars and wailing sirens. "Zim, what have you done?"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"But you already deleted all of my recordings of Mysterious Mysteries for that, do you know how long it took me to get them all back? Actually, I'm still missing the one about the mysterious spider-sloth."
"Dib, go to your room and shut up, or else I will force you into a nightmare realm from where there is no waking."
"You've already used that one."
"Then I will delete all of your episodes of Mysterious Mysteries again."
"I have them on a backup file." Dib uttered.
"Dib!" She shot him a look of pure loathing. Dib raised his hands in a nervous surrender, retreating to his room.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Back to Zim
"Now to go see the new delivery entrance to my home." Zim proclaimed.
Zim emerged from the tube that used to connect to the toilet, and took in his surroundings. The only thing left of his house was the now exposed entrance to the lab. Fortunately, the box was unharmed. It was designed to withstand deep space travel, so a little explosion wouldn't do it in.
GIR was sitting on the couch watching the now non-existent television, making Zim doubletake. How had the couch survived?
It didn't really matter, but the fact that the top of his base was gone did. Now the package had no house to fit in.
The neighbours were poking their heads out again, roused by the bang and the smoke.
"Has the green kid's house always looked like that, and have our houses always been stained black with soot?"
Zim awkwardly whistled a tune, trying his best to look innocent, human and normal as they all reached a conclusion.
"Yep."
"Of course."
"Nothing to see here."
They all went back to their daily routine, oblivious.
"Would you like me to take the package to the lab through the secret package receival tunnel?" The computer asked.
"Wait, we have one of those? Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"
"Well," The computer said smugly, "You told me to be silent."
Zim let out a frustrated scream. "Just do it. I hate you, you know."
"I hate you too, Zim."
He disappeared back down into the lab. A hole opened up and swallowed the package.
"I suppose it's up to me to rebuild the house." The computer sighed, "It figures."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib's POV
Dib, in his full stealth attire, hummed a dramatic spy theme to himself as he descended the rope dangling from his window.
"Sorry Gaz," He said as he touched the ground. "but the world needs me."
"No, it doesn't."
Dib gasped, looking up to see Gaz looming over him.
"I'm just going to go back to my room."
Dib scaled the rope and leapt through his window back into safety. Gaz smirked, not even looking up from her Game-Slave, which she had never stopped playing.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Well Invader Stink, you actually didn't do that bad." Red told the causing him to swell with pride.
"Thank you my Tallest, those Uxpiians didn't know what hit them."
"Yeah, yeah. No need to get a big head. Now off with you."
Stink saluted once again before leaving. The control panel beeped.
"Incoming transmission from Planet Meekrob." One of the Irken Communication Officers announced. The screen lit up, showing Invader Tenn.
"Thank you, My Tallest. I have received your generous gift and I am sure that coupled with an Irken Phantom Military Suit it will prove to be a valuable resource in the conquering of Planet Meekrob." She said, saluting.
"It doesn't cloak the driver?" Purple asked.
"Nope." Red replied
"That's stupid."
"We're working on it."
The console beeped once again.
"Sorry Invader Tenn, we've got to take this." Red informed her. She saluted once again, and the screen went dark, then Zim appeared.
"My Tallest, I have received your package."
They could hear sounds of crashing and screaming in the background, and both Tallest bit back a giggle.
"Oh, and have you opened it yet?"
"Yes, My Tallest." Zim replied.
"And you aren't dead?"
Zim mistook the disappointment for concern. "No, don't worry. I am very much alive. I shall conquer this challenge you have sent me and prove my worth."
A SIR unit flew out of nowhere, and with a scream, attached itself to Zim's head.
"Well that's good to hear, Zim." Red said, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, but utterly failing. "Anyways, good luck. Call us back later if you're not dead."
The Communications Officer cut the transmission, and they burst out laughing.
"I have a good feeling about this time."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Get it off, get it off." Zim flailed wildly, running in circles. The SIR unit grabbed onto his antenna, using them like handholds to stay attached.
GIR walked in, unfazed by Zim's screaming. "Hiya masta, watcha doin?"
"GIR, help me get this thing off my head."
"That looks like fun, here I come."
"No GIR, no." Zim shouted, but soon enough there were two SIR units on his head, both giggling hysterically.
"Yeehaw, I'm a cow-person."
"No, unhand Zim. Bad GIR, bad."
"Aww, I loves you too."
Finally, he managed to dislodge the robots. He turned to the screen, with a ruffled uniform and bent antenna.
"I'm sorry about that My Tallest, now what were- Oh." Zim slumped, "Great job GIR, you made The Tallest hang up."
"I'm sowy." GIR's voice was dripping with sadness. He really did seem to regret his actions, so Zim decided to be lenient this time.
"Just don't let it happen again."
"Yay," GIR skipped off, instantly happy once again. "I'm gonna go play with my friends again."
"Wait GIR, if you aren't here then who will I explain my thoughts and ideas aloud to? I can't just say them in my head."
"You can tell them to me." The computer suggested.
"Fine," Zim sulked. "I can't let the SIR units leave the house, they might blow my cover. Why did my Tallest send them to me, what do they want me to prove?"
"Maybe they were hoping that the robots will destroy you. That's what I'm hoping, anyways."
"No, that makes no sense. Why would anyone want to destroy me? I'm perfect." A lightbulb went off in his brain. "I know, they must want me to retrain them. They knew that only I was mighty enough to conquer these SIR units, and I shall not fail them."
"That is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"Why, thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"Lies."
"Whatever."
Zim began pressing buttons on the control panel. A live video feed popped up showing SIR units in the upstairs level, which the computer had rebuilt instantly using the same technology that had originally constructed the house.
The SIR units had wrecked the upstairs level. All the paintings had been smashed and the kitchen had been emptied of the food that Zim kept both as part of his cover and to shut GIR up.
Somehow, they had even tracked mud all over the floor, which should have been impossible because the robots hadn't been outside. and mud had somehow even gotten tracked all over the floor. Four of the nine SIR units were currently in the process of de-stuffing the couches, while the other five were running around screaming and firing an assortment of weapons at the house, the items in it, and each other. GIR was sitting and watching it all unfold with a big grin on his face and a slush-monkey in hand.
The Irken empire funded all Invader exploits, and they were not going to be happy when they saw Zim's bill. The technology to pull houses and items such as paintings and couches out of thin air was not cheap. Zim –however- didn't care.
"Computer, take me to the upper level." Zim proclaimed dramatically.
"Sure," The computer sounded the happiest it ever had at the prospect of Zim facing the dangerous SIR units.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Robotic slaves, your new master has arrived." There was no response, so he tried again. "I command you to stop destroying my stuff."
"Hiyah masta, have you come to play with us?"
"No GIR, I have not come to play with you." Zim fumed before addressing the other SIR units once again. "I said, I command you to stop destroying my stuff."
There was no response.
"Why won't you listen to ZIM? He is mighty and amazing and deserves your respect."
"Hey Zim." The computer addressed him.
"What?"
"I think I know why they aren't listening."
"You do?" Zim asked, intrigued.
"Yeah, these robots are defective."
"You dare mock Zim?" He cried, outraged. The computer remained neutral though.
"Hey, Zim?"
"What is it?"
"The SIR units are gone.
"What?" Zim whipped around, discovering that the robots were nowhere to be seen. "How did they escape?"
"Maybe they left using the Sir unit size hole in the door."
Zim looked. Sure enough, the hole in the door had been rebuilt with the house.
"Why would you rebuild the house with a hole in the door?"
"You didn't tell me not too."
"I hate you so much."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib's POV
"Luckily, I build this secret trapdoor in my closet just in case I faced a situation like this." Dib muttered to himself as he scaled the ladder in his closet. Then he realized something. "Why didn't I just use this before instead of trying to climb out the window? And why am I talking to myself?"
Dib finished scaling the ladder and crawled into the tunnel.
"Almost there, almost there." He whispered. Suddenly two red lights appeared. Then two more. The two more. Soon the tunnel ahead of Dib was covered in red lights.
"Oh no..." Dib muttered fearfully, turning his emergency flashlight on. Sure enough, the tunnel was being blocked by Gaz's "security".
Raising his hands in surrender, Dib slowly turned around. "I'm just going to leave now." He proclaimed to the toys.
For five seconds, all was fine and Dib thought he got away with it; but then he heard a clunking behind him. Uh oh. Dib took off down the ladder and rushed out of the closet with the toys right behind him.
Thankfully the toys didn't follow him out of the closet.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim ran down the streets, searching for any sign of trouble. Normally he would be happy that the SIR units would be out destroying stuff, but even the humans would realize something was up if undisguised SIR units started causing chaos.
He still had that teleportation ray gun that he built so he could teleport Dib onto 'some far, far away planet where he could never stick his big head in Zim's business again.'
It had turned out that the ray gun could only teleport smallish, non-living objects and that it used up too much energy to be practical. It had been funny when he had zapped Dib's pants with it during class though. Even if Ms. Bitters had figured out that he was somehow responsible for it. He still wasn't sure how she knew it was him.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Ha ha, Dib! If I was the one who did that -which I wasn't- then I would say this," Zim yelled from atop his desk. "Foolish human, Zim is triumphant. ZIM IS TRIUMPHANT!"
"Detention for 3 weeks Zim." Ms. Bitters hissed before turning towards an embarrassed Dib. "Go get some pants."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim had tinkered with the ray so that whatever it struck would be teleported into the box that the SIR unit's arrived in. After he had rounded up all of the SIR units then he could awe them into respecting him through his sheer awesomeness, then he would in turn gain the respect of his Tallest.
Now if I was a crazy malfunctioning SIR unit, where would I be?
Zim entered the skool. The doors were unlocked because who would want to be at skool when they didn't have too? You would have to be insane to want to be there. Or so Zim reasoned.
"Zim walked around the school searching for any sign of his "present" from the Tallest.
"Hey, deranged SIR units. Are you there?"
Zim peered into yet another classroom. Nope.
Zim checked the cafeteria. Nope.
In the janitor's closet? Nope.
In Ms. Bitter's room? No-
Zim paused, then looked again. Ms. Bitters was sitting hunched over her desk repeating doom under her breath. Zim walked in and stuck his head into her vision. She didn't blink. In fact she wasn't pausing for breath at all.
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
Creepy.
But that wasn't what had caught Zim's attention. What had caught Zim's attention was the SIR unit scribbling all over the chalk board with permanent marker.
Zim flashes a concerned look over at Ms. Bitters. However, if she had noticed something she didn't show it. He tentatively approached the SIR unit which was still scribbling randomly all over the chalk board.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Oh the pain."
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
"Not the buzzsaw."
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
"Give that back."
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
"Do not dare defy the mighty Zim."
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
"Arggg!"
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
"My Squeedly Spooch."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim was breathing hard as he shut the classroom door. He leaned against it and closed his eyes.
"Ah," Zim sighed. "safety at last." Though the teleportation ray had made the matter a lot easier, it had still been hard to hit the SIR unit as it bounced around the room. He had hit many desks and other classroom supplies. Oh well, it wasn't like the skool had a ton of them to begin with anyways. Most likely nobody would even notice.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Ms. Bitters sat hunched over a nonexistent desk in a completely empty classroom.
"Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Just then another SSIR unit ran past Zim, it's hands flailing in the air and its head shooting out missiles. Zim watched as its barreled past him and heard its screams grow quieter as it grew farther away.
"Come back, I need to shove you in a box." Zim yelled after it. He got up and tried to run but fell to the ground in agony.
"Right after my ribs heal."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim scanned the street. It was already dark and he had only caught three of the nine SIR units. He had caught up to the second SIR unit racing up and down the skool halls and managed to capture it. After that he managed to catch one that had climbed the tree and was- shudder. You don't want to know what it was doing.
"Hey," Zim said when he caught sight of his reflection in a store window. One of the SIR units had drawn a mustache and a uni-brow on him.
"How dare you mock the great Zim, your master? I am your superior, you will bow down to me." He shouted to the non-present SIR unit.
"Keep it down you wierdo." Somebody yelled from inside an apartment complex.
"You cannot silence the mighty Zim, your future slave-master."
Zim was quiet for a few seconds waiting for an answer.
"That's better," He yelled when he didn't hear one. "I- OWW!" Somebody had thrown a can of poop-cola at him.
"Who threw that?"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
Dib stared up at the mirror. He had tried to go to sleep but he kept waking up because of his worries about what Zim was up too.
"Heeheheheeh…"
"Who's there?" Dib swung around to see- nothing. "That's funny, I could have sworn..."
Suddenly a SIR unit fell from the ceiling onto Dib's head, causing him to shriek. "What is Zim's robot doing here? Get off of me."
Gaz opened the door, playing her video game with one hand and holding two struggling SIR units by their antenna. Without even looking up she spoke. "Your weird robot thingies were bothering me. Keep them away from me or else."
She dropped them into the room and closed the door. The robots immediately started running around the room at random, causing destruction where ever they went.
"No, not my bed."
No, that's a genuine dragon spine."
"Get off my head."
"AAARRRRGGGGG!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim was still walking down the street searching for the other SIR units when he heard a noise.
"AAARRRRGGGGG!"
Zim turned around. That sounded like the Dib-human. He must have run into a SIR unit.
Zim headed towards the Membrane house then paused. If I go get the SIR unit then it won't be tormenting the Dib-monkey anymore. Zim realized with a sigh. But if I don't then the SIR unit may move on and I won't know where it is anymore. And Dib-stink might get a picture of it with one of his horrible human cameras.
Mind made up, Zim headed toward the source of the noise. Using his PAK legs he scaled the building and climbed through the bedroom window. It was chaos. It was not one SIR unit plaguing the human, but three. Dib-smelly had been blinded by a SIR unit on his head, and two others were running around rampant in his room. Zim first aimed for the robot on Dib's head. Easy target, he reasoned.
Once that robot was gone, Dib could see again.
"Oh thank you-" Dib said, turning to face his rescuer. "ZIM!"
"Who else, pig smelly." Zim replied. "Now if you are done gawking Could you try to pin one of them down or something?"
"What are you doing here, and why did you release copies of GIR in my house? What new plot is this-" Dib accused before realizing something. "Wait, is that a moustache scribbled on your face?"
"First of all, why would I help you if I released them into your home?" Zim reasoned, ignoring Dib's hysterical laughter. "Second of all, they are not copies of GIR. These things are broken, GIR is advanced. So please get out of my face."
"Wow, that actually made sense." Dib said shocked out of his fit of laughter by the fact that Zim was capable of rational thinking.
Zim ignored Dib as he aimed for the robot. Then he readjusted with a smirk. He had to hit the SIR units, but it would not be his fault if he hit a few of the Dib-loser's stupid possessions.
"Hey, be careful where you aim that thing."
"Watch out!"
"No, that was my genuine gnome fossil!"
Zim grinned. "MWOOO HAHAHAH!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Now that those robots are gone, you have a lot of explaining to do." Dib told Zim.
"Never," Yelled Zim before leaping out of the window. He landed on the ground with a sickening thud.
"I'm ok."
"Oh no, you don't." Dib said heroically before moving to jump after him.
Suddenly Gaz appeared, blocking the window.
"Nope. If you break your spine again then you won't stop whining about it and I'll never get any peace. Besides, family night is two weeks from now and if you are in the hospital then we might not get to go."
"Come on Gaz, he's getting away." Dib whined.
"No."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Come on," Zim ranted to himself. "Where are the last three? They can't hide from the almighty Zim."
Zim found himself approaching his base. "I'll check the outside cameras and see if they picked up anything that might hint at their whereabouts."
Zim walked inside and saw GIR and two of the SIR units watching TV.
"Oh, COME on, I looked everywhere and they were right here."
"Shhh, I think Shmoopsy might be about to bloop Floopsy."
"Oooh, can I wa- no. Must- resist- urge to watch- show." Zim said, the strain evident in his voice. He quickly shot the two SIRs with the teleportation ray. Surprisingly, they put up no resistance. Watching television must be the only thing that can make all SIR units sit still, not just GIR.
Zim ran outside panting, proud of the willpower he didn't even know he had. Oh wait, he didn't have the willpower.
Zim ran back inside and plopped down on the couch.
"So, what's happening."
"Floopsy's chasin Shmoopsy."
"LIES!"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib's POV
"Gaz, please, you have to let me go. The fate of the world is at hand." Dib begged.
"Alright, I'll let you go." Gaz mumbled, eyes still fixed on the game screen."
"Really?" Dib asked hopefully.
"On one condition."
"Name it."
"You have to buy me Bloaty's pizza every day for the next month."
"But Gaz," Dib stuttered. That would take up all of the allowance money I've saved up, plus what I earn during that month."
"So?"
"So, I need that money to bug Zim's base. The fate of the world is at stake here!"
"The world can be destroyed for all I care. It's stupid. I need my pizza."
"It's a deal." Dib said with a sigh. His allowance would have to suffer for the greater good. Gaz didn't even look up as Dib jumped out of the window.
"You could have just used the front door, you know."
"No time," Dib yelled. "I have to stop Zim."
"Whatever."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib sprinted down the street toward Zim's base, holding his aching head. Though the window had been on the ground level, diving out of it had still hurt. Dodging the evil garden ornaments' lasers, he sprinted for the porch.
"Zim," He announced as he flung open the front door. "I have come to stop your reign of tyranny."
"Yeah, whatever Dib-smelly. I'm busy right now, come back later."
Dib did a double take. Zim was sitting on the couch watching some stupid little kid show.
"I don't know what you're planning Zim, but I'll stop you." Dib informed a nonplussed Zim.
"If I tell you what's going on, will you leave me alone?" Zim said, not taking his eyes off the tv.
"Sure." Dib said in surprise. This was a first.
So in between handfuls of non-popped popcorn seeds Zim explained in short what had happened. He never even took the eyes off the screen.
"So, the robots really aren't a part of an evil plot to take over the world?"
"Uh huh. Now leave me to watch the animated pictures in peace, Earth filth."
Dib had other ideas though. "Nope, this is your fault, and you are going to help me fix it."
Dib grabbed Zim and began dragging him away from the tv.
"What are you doing, I need to see this. I MUST SEE THIS!"
Dib dragged a struggling Zim out of the door and down the street.
"You can put me down now."
Dib looked down. Zim had stopped struggling. Dib carefully let go, ready to tackle him if he made a break for it.
Wiping the dirt off his uniform, Zim spoke.
"I suppose I should Thaaaank yooyou Earth pig for breaking me free of the spell. If I had sat there much longer the robot could have exposed me."
"Oh, come on, really?! Why didn't I think of that?"
"Dib stink?"
"Yeah?"
"ZIM STILL HATES YOU!"
Suddenly, Dib took off in a sprint. "Jokes on you, Zim. I'm going to find the robot before you and expose you for the alien menace you are."
"Not if ZIM finds it first, and he will. OH, HOW YOU WILL PAAYYY!"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib heard the sound of crashing as he approached the center of the city. It was coming from the Mall.
The last SIR unit must be there. If I catch it and show it to everyone then they will believe me, and all of my problems will be solved.
Dib pulled on the main doors. They didn't open.
Then Dib noticed the square of glass missing from the door. Zim must already be there! Dib ran up the non-moving escalator, heading towards the source of the noise. He glanced at a mall location map as he ran past. Over 50 floors?! Dib sighed. This was going to be a long night
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Zim approached the mall. Using his mighty Zim-skills, he'd tracked the chaos to its source. Zim approached it carefully, wary of it ever since his run in with Slab Rankle. He was about to laser an entrance just like last time before he noticed that the one from before was still in place. He supposed they never got around to fixing it.
Zim slipped through the hole and headed for the security office.
That pitiful human guard may prove to be an obstacle. Zim thought. I must neutralize him.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Dib looked up at the sign. It read "Berny's TNT and Fire Store".
"Really? Why do we need one of these?" He wondered aloud. "And isn't that a bit dangerous?"
Dib had made his way to the 43rd floor. It seemed that the noises were originating from this shop. But seriously, out of all the shops the SIR unit could choose to rampage in? This one was the worst.
He hadn't run into any security on the way up, which surprised him. Surely in a mall this big there should be security, right?
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Sergeant Slab Rankle sat down awkwardly. The other people in the prison cell stared at him.
"So, wanna play a card game or something?"
"We don't have any cards."
"Oh."
After a moment of silence, they seemed to remember who he was and why they were trapped there.
"GET HIM!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh well.
Dib peered into the room through a window. He didn't see anything, but the store was very dark. Then suddenly the SIR unit dropped down from where it had been crawling on the ceiling and landed in front of him. Even though there was a layer of glass between them, Dib still jumped.
"BOOGPBOGOGOOGJS!" It screamed before running back into the darkness. Dib tried the door. It was locked. How did the robot even get in there? The door was locked and the walls were still intact. Dib knew one thing though, it hadn't been there long. Dib knew this because the store was still whole. He couldn't let it be alone for much longer. A malfunctioning SIR unit and TNT? That wouldn't end well.
"Stand back you horrible human," A familiar voice screamed. "Let the almighty Zim take care of this."
"Zim, that robot is mine."
"Not if ZIM has anything to say about it, which he does."
Zim used the laser in his PAK once again. Soon there was a square shaped hole in the window which Zim jumped through Dib was not far behind.
"Prepare to be captured by Zim." Zim told the robot.
"Wait Zim, be careful. This place is dangerous." Though he didn't care if Zim got hurt, he was there too and Gaz really liked this mall. And he really didn't want an angry Gaz on his hands.
The SIR unit was running around the room with a bunch of lit matches. As he ran past them, the fuses of the dynamite- which was hanging from the ceiling like sausages- caught fire.
Bored of this, the SIR unit jumped up and landed on its head. Its body started spinning like a twister while the head was stationary. This provided the perfect opportunity for Zim to zap it with his ray gun, one which he took.
"The Dynamite," Dib pointed frantically, realising that they were about to explode.
"Zim has this." The alien, fired at the dynamite with the ray gun. The dynamite disappeared and Zim looked triumphant. Dib just looked shocked by Zim's stupidity. After a moment of silence Dib spoke up.
"You are an idiot."
"What? Zim just saved us all."
"You just teleported the explosives into the box."
"So?"
"The one with my evidence." Seeing the blank look Zim was giving him, Dib spoke again.
"The one with the SIR units?"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A few seconds later
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"My Tallest, I have failed you. Zim has failed the challenge," Zim wailed.
"I'm going home." Dib said. "This is a win for Earth, I guess."
