Hanakuro: This is a disclaimer! We do not own MTNN... or Invader Zim. Or a tequito machine.
Akashia-chan: NOOOOO!!!! I want mah TEQUITO!!!!!!!
Moose: this chapter is full of crack. Not REAL crack...
--
"Santa's coming soon! Santa's coming soon! Santa's coming soon! Santa's coming soon! Santa's coming soon! I WANTS PRESENTS!!!"
Aka-chan yelled in the ears of everyone she could see, which was pretty much all of the characters+OCs. Godai was the only one who probably still had his hearing intact, since he was too disturbed by all the... happiness there was in the air, and decided to hole himself up in the basement. Except Hanakuro had predicted Godai going to the basement and hiding from the Christmas cheer, so she had set up a few very nasty traps... none of which you need to know of.
everyone was in the christmas spirit, including the two present members of the Nougami family. Well, it did take a little convincing to get Neuro into that Rudolph costume... Shiori actually had some pretty effective means of convincing people/demons to do things. It involved spiked punch (punch with drugs in it) or spiky punches. (Shiori pummeling Neuro with gloves covered in spikes) Or a combination of the two. Probably the latter.
Shiori was setting out the food for the party, when remembered something.
She turned to Hanakuro, who she could have sworn was laughing evilly (Light Yagami/Rena style) to herself while putting the star on the tree.
"Hey Hanakuro, what did you actually do with all those extra fruitcakes?"
Hanakuro fell off the ladder she was using. The tree landed on top of her, and Akashia-chan's Mom's christmas ornaments were reduced from sparkly spheres to glitter powder in an instant.
"W-why are you wondering about that? I'm not wondering about that! eheheheh! I didn't use them to stuff Godai's mouth and gag him so he couldn't scream for help after being tied up with rolls of Christmas lights!!! Why did you think that?"
Shiori stared at her for a second. "...I never said any of that. Is it true?"
"........of course not! not at all! you never heard anything!" she promptly ran off to check on her brownies that were baking.
"SANTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! GIVE ME MY PRESENTS!!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU HERE YET?!?!?"
Rikai looked at the clock and sighed. "It's only 7:00, stupid."
"OMIGOD??? REALLY???"
Rikai sighed again and facepalmed herself. Why did I come here in the first place? It clear that nobody here has any intelligence at all... except Neuro-dono. Oh yeah, that's why I came. Where is he anyway?! He just left all of a sudden...
She lifted her head a little and searched the cramped room with her eyes. Definitely no Neuro. Well, I guess I might as well look for him. She got out of the chair she was sitting in and thought of the most likely place for Neuro to be. Assuming he hasn't already gone crazy from being stuck in this place for too long, he's probably as far away as possibly from these retards.
It didn't take her long to find him, since only a few rooms were free of massive hordes of people, those people being all of the characters families. The tiny space was packed with millions (okay, over exaggeration.) Thousands of people, all chattering mindlessly. It was these types people that made Rikai curse the human part of her.
I bet these human morons couldn't even fight a simple quarter-demon if one appeared right now. Oh, is that Neuro-dono over there?
--(Shiori POV)
Rikai finally went to look for Neuro. Good. My mission will begin now. Thank you Flamerose for this present. I'll be able to get my revenge on Rikai, AND humiliate my brother more than ever... and I brought a movie camera to record the whole thing. Youtube's gonna love this.
Oh, hi reader! You didn't see any of that! I'm not planning anything evil at all! It's just that, well. I'm sneaking upstairs to spy on Rikai and Neuro to try to embarrass them both so much that they can never show their faces in public again. you see, Flamerose was veeeery kind, and gave me mistletoe... heh. Yeah, I'm going to make those two kiss, take a movie of their reactions, and post it on youtube... and any Neuro websites there are.
Unfortunately, if either of them find out, well... I won't live to see the new year.
So here I go, off to humiliate the two people I hate most. (Besides Sicks, because, well, the annihilation of the human race isn't exactly the best thing I think this planet could come to right now. Although maybe I could use the mistletoe to make him kiss... an air conditioner. Or something. Man, I'm out of creative ideas.)
Up the stairs... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18- how many freaking stairs are there? 32, 33! there! finally done with those stairs... now which room would those two be in?
Faint sounds of conversation. That should be them. Well, since I'm going to be bored listening to them talk for the next... 15 minutes or so until I find the perfect opportunity to attack.... dun, dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun... GO MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!! Oh well, just for the sake of it... I make a gun with my fingers and sneak down the halls, darting into the doorways.
"Dun, dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun"
"Hey, Neuro-dono, do you hear someone outside?"
Crap. Did Rikai hear me?
"Yes, I did. If it's my sister..."
"Yeah, I'll kill her too."
... goodbye, cruel world.... wait, they can't kill me if they can't see me! I'll use blend into the wall so that they can't see me! And here comes Rikai, this is the perfect time to test my wall blending-in!!
"Uh... Shiori? What the HELL are you doing standing against that wall? Shouldn't you be running?
Eheheh... I'm like a ninja. She can't see me. I'm completely camouflaged with this wall. Rikai is a coathanger if she's able to see me. The secret to my camouflage is that only coathangers, guitars, kangaroos and trampolines are able to see me.
"Ugh, fine. I'll just kill you now."
Heheh.. She's just gonna- wait, she knows I'm here? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!! Yup, I'm sure she's a coathanger. And now Neuro's here... this is just great. I bet Neuro's a trampoline. I would say 'this can't get any worse,' except by anime/manga/fanfiction laws, something bad happens after someone says that. This can't get any worse though, honestly.
"Just one thing before we kill you..."
Now they both have their demon tools out... what happens when demons die?
"Couldn't you have just used the Evil Canceler to hide yourself?"
Oh... I knew I was doing something wrong... yeah, I definitely forgot the second part of the Mission Impossible theme. Wait, Rikai and Neuro are both there... at the same time... next to each other...
"MISTLETOE ATTACK!!!!!!"
I scream, and jump at them suddenly with the little piece of mistletoe. It's right over their heads... eheh... "You know what this means, right guys? YOU BOTH HAVE TO EAT PLUMS IN AN INDIAN BARN!!!!!"
They're looking at me kinda funny. What, haven't they heard that when there's mistletoe over two people's heads, they have to eat plums in an indian barn? It's common knowledge.
"Don't you mean... we have to kiss?"
"Oh, you want to kiss Rikai, do you Neuro?"
They both turned a little red.
Wow, that was easy. I should have bought one of those staples business depot buttons. Didn't know they would fall for that so easily. Hey, I know what you're thinking. I seriously believed in the plum and indian barn thing. Well I'm not stupid all the time, you know!
"So, are you gonna kiss?"
"Ugh. Why SHOULD we? What happens if we don't? Do Rikai and I get cursed?"
Well, of course they get cursed! "Yes you do, as a matter of fact! The ghost of the mistletoe calendar will haunt you forever! FOREVER!!!!!
".............. so as I was saying, Neuro..."
They face each other and continue talking.... PUSH! And they fall into each other and kiss!! Ha, they look so embarassed! Where's that- oh, here's the camera!
"Say 'cheese', guys! On three! One, two, THREE!" Click.... seconds pass. No flash? Wait...
"Um... why isn't the light on the camera on? Hey, the screen is still black, did either of you..."
Rikai pulls something out from behind her back and waves it around... my battery pack for the camera...." little half-demon b----. F--- them!!! Why the f--- did they f---ing do that?! It was just for fun!!"
--(Back in relative insanity)
"Hey, Sai, did you just hear an f-bomb go off upstairs?"
"Yeah, sounded like that f---ing Shiori swearing up a storm..." Swearing was normally Godai's job. He was not happy about his new competitor for the position of 'Most overuse of the F-word'.
--
It was Christmas morning, and everyone except Neuro and Rikai were looking forward to it. Shiori was undoubtedly planning something mildly evil to make up for her mistake before.
Akashia-chan was up at 6am, amazingly early for her, running around to everybody screaming "Everyone wake up!!! Santa came!!! EVERYONE!!!! THERE'S CHOCOLATE!!!!!"
"Uuuuuhhhh." Groans were heard all around the house as they were dragged out of their beds and sent flying in the general direction of the christmas tree. Nothing like flying headfirst into a giant tree on Christmas morning.
"Akashia-chan... I'm pretty sure nobody wants a broken neck for Christmas..." Hanakuro was just as tired as everyone everyone else. Except Neuro and Rikai, who don't really need much sleep.
"I HOPE SANTA GOT ME AN EGGPLANT!!!"
Eventually, everyone else was a little more enthusiastic about Christmas. When they got their presents. Because nobody can say no to free stuff. Akashia-chan seemed to be running everything like a dictator.
"Okay, everyone. Now we're going to have a show and tell! Everyone gets in a circle and says what they got for Christmas!"
Silence.
more silence.
Aka-chan treats everyone like six year olds and is able to get everyone quiet. She could be a kindergarten teacher.
Well, everyone gets into a circle... okay, I guess it could be a bit interesting to see what they all got...
"Okay, we'll go around in a circle, starting with Sasazuka! What did you get for Christmas, Sasazuka?"
"..."
he held up what looked like a nut cracker. (not the doll type, the metal type!)
"It's an action figure destroyer."
"Very... useful?"
Ishigaki went off to some emo corner off to the side to mourn in advance for his Christmas present.
"Hey, Ishigaki, what did you get?"
"I got the new Shakugan no Shana PVC figure!"
Sasazuka looked up for a second, then got up and walked over to Ishigaki. The Shana figure was crushed into countless microscopic pieces of plastic before anyone could react.
"Shaaaaanaaaaaaa....." Was all that could be heard from Ishigaki as he was suddenly abducted by someone's pet alien.
"Now, since this is probably going to take forever, I've posted what everyone got riiight..." She reached around in her tiny jean pocket and pulled out an enormous chalkboard. Akashia-chan never ceases to amaze... so on the board was a list of everyones names. Here's what we think the list said. it was kinda hard to read Aka-chan's scribble-writing.
Sasazuka-nutcracker
Ishigaki- Shana figure (deceased)
Yako- giftcard to all-you-can-eat buffet
Godai (who has escaped from the basement)- beer and guns
Higuchi (yeah, he's somewhere here)- a WAC airbook and hacking tools. (Nessus and Nmap)
Shiori- a pony
The list was actually pretty predictable. And boring. If it were more interesting, it would be something like...
Sasazuka- bulldozer
Ishigaki- jar of marbles
Yako- gummy bears
Godai- puffy jumping egg yokes
Higuchi- frog pancakes
Shiori- triangle-shaped fishcakes
"Okay, that list is way cooler!" Akashia-chan said. "Hey, wait... aren't we missing some people here? Hana-chan? Neuro? Rikai?"
"Oh yeah! I wonder what Neuro would want for Christmas?" Yako thought aloud.
Then, there was a creak of a door, and two people walked in the doorway. Neuro and Rikai. Perfect timing.
"Oh, THERE you guys are! We were wondering what you two got for Christmas! Tell us!" Akashia-chan made her puppy face. When she does it well, it looks like an innocent little puppy. When it doesn't... well, lets just say that we think she's part zombie.
"Fine, fine. Neuro-dono and I both got restraining orders for Shiori." Rikai gave a glare at Shiori.
Shiori looked annoyed for a second, then went back to her normal happy self and smiled innocently. It was what is called an 'evil grin.' Neuro has those. (MTNN chapter 168, page 16)
She was definitely planning some way to still annoy them.
"Hey, Akashia-chan, what did you get?" Sai noticed that Aka-chan herself didn't say what she had for christmas. Akashia-chan laughed eerily. Shiori was sure it was an imitation of Neuros evil laughter. Except not quite as disturbing.
"That's right, I'M KIRA!!" She half-yelled at them.
"We.... didn't say anything about you being Kira." Sai said, very confused.
"Oh... you... you didn't? Well... My present's right here. Who wants to see first?"
Everyone stared at the box she had in her hands. Silence. Are those crickets I hear?
"Okay, fine, I'll show all of you at the same time!"
She tore open the box at the speed of Light. (Yagami) A dull red glow was emitting from the bottom of the box, and a slight scuffling noise. Then, from the box came...
"IIIIII WANT MAH TEQUITOOOOOOOS!!!!!"
A small retarded looking robot came out of the box, waving around a box for a tequito maker. It shot around the house, bouncing off the walls and leaving disaster everywhere it went.
The others just sat/stood in place, mouths gaping open. The robot shoved tequitos in these gaping mouths.
"See guys, this is Gir!" She explained as the robot tore apart what was left of the house after the party. "He's really cool, and... um, random! He doesn't really do anything... he can make waffles! And order pizza. Oh, he's great at totally screwing up anything you're trying to do! Like, taking over the world, for example."
'Gir' was busy looking through the kitchen for any sign of a waffle iron. A resounding crash of glass was heard as he found the blender. Everyone flinched, and turned to stare at Aka-chan, who for some reason looked very proud of herself...
Everyone's attention shifted, however, when Hanakuro came into the room.
"What the hell is that...." Godai managed to say.
Hanakuro smiled. Very creepy. And tilted her head a little with that evil smile.
"Hi guys! Oh, by 'that', you meant my Christmas present, right? Well... I got an alligator that looks like a smurf! You can call him... or it, Smurfigator, Allimurf, or Joe the Giant Fire Hydrant."
-----------------THE END!!--------
Hanakuro: Suckish chapter is suckish.
Shiori: Obvious statement is obvious.
Akashia-chan: Funny talking is funny. Anyhow, Special appearance by GIR!!!!! WAFFLES!!! Maybe Zim can come in and help Sicks take over/destroy the world...
Hanakuro: NOT a good idea...So... sorry about suckish and late chapter.
Akashia-chan: We'll make up for it with cake!!!!! And world domination!
Hanakuro: Now.... say hello to Joe the Giant Fire Hydrant.
