Author's Notes: I am truly very sorry for the slow update, everyone! It's been almost four months since my last update, but I have a really good excuse! You see, my computer broke down, and once it was fixed, I had written about five pages of this chapter. Unfortunately, I hadn't gotten rid of the virus, so all of the files just vanished. I had to re-write those pages again, and by the time I had written two paragraphs, I was tired and I didn't really feel up to it. I'm a complete 'lazy bum' you see. Haha.
This chapter has a lot of grammatical errors, and re-run sentences, probably because I didn't feel up to editing it. Everything you see here has been typed once without re-reading it. It hasn't been polished yet, but I hope it's good enough. Truth be told, I was about to give upon this fanfic (I had a really bad case of Writers Block), but thanks to the persistent tug of my faithful reviewers, I had fought my laziness and continued to keep writing. So keep reviewing and tell me what you think of "Forever Dawn"!
The theme song for this chapter is "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade. Yes, I'm an SS addict! But their album now!
"Hold your breathe because tonight will be the night
that I will fall for you, over again.
Don't make me change mind,
Or I won't live to see another day.
I swear it's true.
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.
You're impossible to find."
- "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade
"-Forever Dawn-"
Chapter Three: Dinner & Apologies
By, modernxlove-
"Forgive me?" His tone was soft yet serious, low yet meaningful. He said it slowly, yet precisely.
I looked at him straight in the eyes. It was as blue as I'd always remembered it, filled with love, and with no hint of doubt. I was confused. How weird humans were… Should I forgive him? It wasn't his fault after all… he was only human. Humans were prone to making mistakes, prone to betrayal and deception. But what Ian did hurt. Not only did he lie to me, he lied to himself. He denied me. I looked down. But…
Maybe it wasn't just Ian's fault, I thought. Maybe I'm to blame too. Maybe Ian did all of that because I was always acting jealous. Maybe Ian hates jealous women. I sighed at all the possibilities.
"I… I don't know…" I said. "Is it worth it?"
Ian frowned and he took a step closer to me, grabbing my hand gently. I shoved it.
"No." I said, gritting my teeth, trying to stop the tears from swelling up. "No…"
"Wanda…" He whispered. "Please, Wanda… give me another chance. I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry… I've never been sorry about anything in my life. Please…" He choked out. I looked at him again, and for the first time, he looked… almost anxious. He was afraid, and at the same time sad. I could see a tear trickle down his face. I took a deep breath. I had to calm myself because I felt like I wanted to cry too. I felt like I wanted to cry every tear inside.
"I know what I did and said was wrong," Ian continued, the words flowing fast as he sobbed. "And I'm sorry. I know apologizing isn't enough, Wanda. And I know that I owe you, much, much more than this. But please…" He knelt down again. "All I'm asking is for you to forgive me. I feel sick and nasty for hurting you, Wanda. I feel sick to the core… and this isn't a miserable excuse about feeling guilty. I swear, I –"
"Stop," I said, interrupting him, my voice croaking out. "Please… stop… I can't… take it anymore… stop apologizing…" Ian stared at me with agonizing eyes, and I tried to find the right words to stop his pain. Whenever he was hurt, I was hurt. And I couldn't stand seeing him like this. They were extremely hard words to say. But I had to do this right away. I didn't want him to feel hurt or guilty in any way. Being sad doesn't fit him. But I didn't want him to hurt me anymore. And I didn't want to hurt him.
"Ian," I said, starting with his name. Saying it made my throat hurt. "I'm sorry…" I said. It came out. Finally. "I shouldn't be the one to forgive you. You should be the one to forgive me.
Ian's eyes widened in shock. His face was expressionless and dazed. He quickly stood up. "Sorry? You're sorry?" He asked, his voice saturated with innocent surprise. "For what? Wanda… I'm the one who's supposed to do the apologizing here. Not you, alright?" He grinned a little, slowly wiping his tears.
I smiled. I missed his grin. Smiling fits him so much better than frowning. "Because," I sniffed. "Because… I was jealous while you were with Lori… I was always jealous Ian. Because I felt that you didn't love me anymore… and I only wanted you all to myself. I was jealous and selfish. And you hate jealous women –" My sentence was abruptly cut off as I felt his lips on mine. He was kissing me, sweetly and surely. He cupped my face with his right hand; I felt my cheeks flush, as his tongue swirled around my mouth. It was the second most romantic moment for me (the first one was the moment I was transferred into another Host, and Ian kissed me passionately, not caring about the people watching).
"Oh… you two are so… lovey-dovey!" I heard Jamie's voice complain. "Just like Mel and Jared. Ugh. Seriously… the world gets enough of that already." He chuckled.
Ian and I broke apart, flushed; embarrassed as we both turned around. Jamie, - wearing a an old pair of jumper suit with a loose red-colored T-shirt (must have been Jared's since it was obviously too loose for him) - looked at us with a disgusted expression, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Hey Ian! Hey Wanda!" He greeted cheerfully, handing Ian and I two pieces of cardboard. "C'mon," He shrugged. "What are you two waiting for? Sit down." He ordered playfully.
Ian and I did what he told us to do.
Jamie frowned. "Umm, did I interrupt an important moment? This feels awkward."
"No," Ian lied, rolling his eyes, sarcasm evident in his voice. "You didn't."
"That's… good. I suppose." Jamie replied, grinning. "Anyways, Mel and the others said I could be your waiter and your host tonight, so I'll start off by getting your orders. C'mon… tell me what you want to eat," He grabbed a piece of crumpled paper from his side pocket and a pencil, "Take a look at your menu, which is the cardboard pieces I had handed out earlier… and, take your pick."
I took a look at the menu, a crumply yellow-colored cardboard piece, cut unequally. It had Jamie and Melanie's fanciest handwriting in the middle, laying out the possible food choices:
Tonight's Menu :
Toasted Bread with Ham & Cheese
A cup of Wine
That was one whole lot of a menu. It seemed more like snack, than dinner. From the front, I could hear Ian sigh. Well, once your living (err, I meant, hiding) down in the caves, being the last of the Human Resistance (that had nothing to do with me), these issues about food being scarce wasn't entirely a problem.
"Uh, kid?" Ian asked, gesturing Jamie to come closer. "Is this all there is?"
Jamie nodded. "Yup." Then he inched closer and whispered, "Well, we still have left-over Salad from last week, but I think it's probably… uh, rotten right now. Unless you want to take the risks…"
"No, that's fine." Ian and I said in unison. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. For a few seconds, we were staring at each other in silence, and with Jamie standing close. Awkward, I thought briefly. Very awkward. I decided that I would be the first to break away.
"I think I'll have two orders of everything." Ian said, finally.
"Uh-huh." Jamie said, scribbling our orders down, though it was too short of a menu to need memorizing. "Is that all?" He asked, making sure.
Ian laughed. "Well, you only have two foods listed on the menu - unless you magically wish for a whole banquet, which would be great; but entirely impossible."
I smiled. I wanted to giggle and laugh, and mingle with them, but I felt too awkward to do it; I felt too self-conscious at the moment, because with every movement being made, Ian eyed me. Jamie left, as soon as he told us to make ourselves feel comfortable. "I'll come back in a bit with your meal," He had said. Like before, Ian and I were alone again.
"Where did we last left off?" Ian suddenly asked, breaking a minute of silence. He smiled at me sweetly, "Oh yeah." He said, as if fitting two puzzled pieces together. He held both my hand and entwined them to his, as he leaned forward to kiss me. "We were here…" He kissed me so tenderly, so passionately, with the sweetest way possible. It's as if we never had a fight in the first place; it felt as if everything had been a dream and I never wanted to wake up from it. But eventually, we would have to break apart. And so he did.
"Wanda, you don't… understand do you?" He breathed. "I'm the one who should be moping and bawling, and apologizing. I made the mistake, Wanda. I screwed up our relationship, and I'm very sorry…" He gazed at me, his brows scrunched up with sadness, his brilliant blue eyes penetrating with apologies, and his features just begging for forgiveness. "I'm sorry that I lied to you and denied you in front of everyone… it's just that, I was so confused. You see…" He looked down, unable to look me in the eye for some reason. Was he… crying again? I clenched my fist out of habit. "Lori was my first love." Ian explained, still looking down. "Six years ago, I was sure that she was the one for me. She was beautiful, kind, talented; in short, she was the perfect girl for me." His eyes tightened and his lips started to curl, turning paler than it already was.
"It was the day before people started disappearing, that I decided to take her hand in marriage. I was only twenty back then, but you see, I was so in love, I didn't care if others didn't approve of our relationship. But…" He frowned.
"But what?" I asked, though I was frightened by the edge in his voice.
He sighed. "She just… disappeared. I searched everywhere. I couldn't find her. And then strange things started happening; everyone we knew started acting strange – our parents, cousins, old friends – what Kyle and I faced was Hell. And so Jared found us, and took us to Jeb's hideaway, which was here. When we found out about Souls and other whatnots, I assumed then that Lori might've been captured. I was a real mess, you know. That's why for the past six years, I lived on, despising you Souls."
I shivered at the thought of Ian looking enraged, killing innocent Souls. Ian placed a hand on my cheek.
"Well, of course, everything changed when I met you." He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile too.
"So, when I met Lori again, this time," He went on, "I was never shocked and confused than I was at the time we encountered her. It was a real heart-beating experience for me; What would you do if you encountered your long lost love standing right in front of you, while you have another love standing behind you?"
I nodded. I knew what it felt like. With Jared, and with Ian. It was a pain that tore me apart. But I didn't need my old love anymore; because my new love had suppressed me with lighter feelings; and that was Ian. He was all I needed, and I could never ask for more.
"That's one huge mistake I made," Ian confessed. "I forced myself – no, I lied to myself, actually – thinking that I was still in love with Lori; when it was already clear that I'm in love with you, Wanderer, and only you.–"
"Ian," I interrupted,
"Don't interrupt me, Wanda… because everyone was right. Because you were right. Even though if the situation was like that, I should've known better than to hurt you. You're the only girl I love, Wanderer. I'll say it again; I love you and I mean it."
My eyes filled with tears, and one trickled down my cheek as I blinked. I quickly wiped them off. "The most important thing for me, Ian," I muttered. "Is that you're here, beside me…" More tears formed its way, and I was surprised that Ian started tearing up too. "I don't ever want to lose you again." I told him.
"Me neither." He agreed. "I don't even know why I did it… but those past few days, I longed to hold you in my arms, kiss you, and never let go. We've been so far away those past few days, and all those times, I felt like I was dying…"
I nodded.
"Do you forgive me now?" He asked sincerely.
"Yes, Ian." I said with a tiny grin. "I do forgive you… but only if you forgive me for being jealous…"
Ian laughed. "Alright, I forgive you, Wanderer, though I wasn't even mad at you from the beginning." He kissed my left hand gently.
Then I heard footsteps coming closer. It was Jamie, carrying two big plates of food. "Here you go! Two plates of ham and cheese sandwich!" He declared, placing the plates gently on the small table. "Are you two enjoying the evening? Please say 'Yes'… Mel would kill me if I was a bad host for you two…"
I laughed. "So this was all just a set-up, huh?" I asked, taking a good look at the beautiful Christmas lights flickering a red and green color.
Jamie nodded. "It was Mel and Jared's idea, actually. So, did you two make up?" He asked. "Wait, seeing that kiss earlier, I bet you probably did, huh?" He asked suspiciously.
I felt my cheeks burn.
"Yes," Ian chuckled. "Your plan did work. It helped Wanda and I settle everything."
Jamie grinned a big grin. "Awesomeness!" He raved. "Well, I guess I should leave you guys alone…" He decided, already heading down. "But be sure to put your dishes back to the kitchen!" He yelled, already taking off. He mumbled something, but I couldn't quite make out what it was.
It was a good dinner. Ian and I ate silently at first, then we started talking, our conversations going on about the moment I first came to the caves, to the day I was inserted to Pet's body.
"Are you done with your food?" He asked, with a smile. "Because the night is still young, and this date isn't finish yet."
I nodded, but I'll admit, I was sort of shocked. I thought this was only dinner… was I wrong… I was even more shocked when Ian stood up from his chair, came over to my side, and picked me up on his arms. He looked like a prince in a romantic movie. He smiled at me.
"Um, but what about the flowers?" I asked, pointing at the boquet of lilies rested on top of the table.
"Don't worry," He assured. "We'll come back for them later."
"Okay." I said, leaning onto his chest.
"You look beautiful tonight," He said, kissing my hair.
I blinked, feeling the blood rush yet again through my cheeks. Darn it! Why do I keep blushing?! I placed both hands over my face, trying to hide my blush. I felt self-conscious all of a sudden. Ian was still carrying me in his arms. He laughed at my expression.
"What?" I asked, hands still clasped over my face.
He laughed again. "I like it when you blush." He admitted to me. "You look so cute. Like a doll."
I frowned. "A doll?" Is this what he compared me to?
"No, no. Not like that." Ian corrected. He kissed my cheek. "I didn't mean it literally. I meant you're the cutest person I've ever met."
I was blushing madly now. I closed my eyes shut, hoping Ian wouldn't be able to see my face through the dim lights.
"You're blushing again?" He asked, curiously.
I didn't answer.
I opened one eye to peek at him. He was smiling, I suppose, trying to hide his huge grin. "Ian," I complained.
"Don't hide it." He said. "But I attract you, don't I?" He teased.
I didn't answer again.
"Wanda…"
"You do." I confessed.
He laughed. I noticed only recently, but whenever Ian laughs with Kyle or with Jared, it was a hard forced laugh. But when he was with me, it was soft and filled with… happiness. Is it love? Is he happy when he's with me?
"Ian, do I make you happy?" I asked innocently.
He smiled. "Yes, you do, Wanda. More than anymore in the world."
I smiled. "I see."
"I love you."
"Me too."
Ian carried me slowly away from the dinner site, and near the rocky edges that led to a small waterfall. Even without the lights illuminating it, the pale, bright moon above was enough. We sat down on the rocks, and I felt my heart beating with so many emotions as I watched the sky, filled with a million stars. Up there, I've been wandering around the galaxy aimlessly, trying to find a world where I would stay permanently, trying to find a partner I would stay for. Earth was the one. Ian was the one. I felt happiness, joy, love, comfort, and forgiveness rush through me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, being with the person you love.
"It's beautiful," I breathed, taking the scenery all in.
Ian held me close to him, I leaned to him lightly. It was a cozy, secure position. The top of my hair was leveled to his chin, and he leaned over lightly as well. For several minutes, we stayed like this, staring quietly at the glorious display of stars.
"It's really beautiful, isn't it?" Ian whispered almost reverently.
"Yes," I agreed.
"And you've been wandering up there…" He pointed up, "looking for a place…"
I nodded. "I was always alone… seeking my Partner… seeking for a place where I'd truly belong… until I came here, and until I met you." As I said those words, a dying star streaked across the velvet sky, leaving a trail of stardust on its wake. It was a shooting star. The first time I've seen one in a long time.
"There goes a shooting star," I muttered.
"Let's wish for something, hurry." Ian whispered.
I closed my eyes shut, took one deep breath, and made my wish. I wish Ian and I would be together, always. I released a heartfelt sigh, and opened my eyes. The star traveled fast, and in a matter of moments, it passed, and disappeared into the thickness of the night.
Ian, held me tighter to him. I blinked in surprise. "Ian?"
"I was just… thinking." He said softly. "Thinking about how much I love you… I sometimes forget to say it, but I truly do love you, Wanda."
"Yes, Ian. I know." I said, closing my eyes, as the tears threatened to flow again. These emotions are really strong…
"I love everything about you, Wanderer. The way you smile, the way you giggle, the way you blush," He continued, kissing me, "the way you help everyone with your kind soul…the way you frown, the way you pout, the way you look at me… I love you… more than you possibly could ever imagine."
His lips met mine, and his fingers slid through my back, combing through the thickness of this body's golden hair, until it rested in the bottom. His lips were sweet against mine, exhaling closely. I felt a bit light-headed, but probably because of the wine. His thumb stroked gently against my cheek… and at the moment, I closed my eyes, losing control of everything…
Rains of kisses…
Hands entwining…
Limbs clashing…
Bodies pulling together…
I sighed in defeat.
