A/N: This quick-updating thing will probably not last, so enjoy it now! It's awesome, huh? :P I'm so happy to get to this chapter. I've had the Peyton-Jenny conversation at the end written since Chapter 2, so you can't even understand how happy I am to get it out there. This chapter turned out differently than I intended, but on the whole, I'm happy with it. Reviews are LOVE.

Vocalise: a vocal work that is comprehensible without words

"You are so beautiful…"

Peyton giggled breathlessly as Lucas buried his face in the space between her shoulder and neck, kissing the skin there. "You're pretty good-looking yourself," she teased. She gasped lightly when he found the spot that drove her crazy, murmuring, "And you're pretty good at that, too."

Lucas grinned cockily when he pulled back, gazing down at her adoringly before brushing his lips against hers. "Yeah?"

"Mm-hm," she said with a nod, lifting her chin slightly to nip at his lips.

He sighed, giving her one last kiss before settling his body at her side and pulling her close. "This last week has been perfect, you know that?"

"Yeah," she whispered, fingers tracing down his jaw line. She loved his jaw. She loved every single bit of him. "I feel like I've been waiting forever."

Lucas kissed the tips of each of her fingers. "Worth every second."

She smiled fondly, cuddling her cheek into the pillow a bit more as she blushed. "I wanted this so bad," she admitted. "But I'm glad we waited, even if it was so long. That first time…it was everything I wanted with you."

His eyes skimmed over her sheet-covered body. It was obvious that he was mentally undressing her, but his smile was all sweetness. "It was perfect. You're perfect. That night was…so perfect."

She sighed, wishing she had words to tell him how she felt at that moment. "Saying that just earned you another one," she said instead, her lips turning upward in a mischievous way.

"Oh yeah?" Lucas asked daringly, making her giggle as he peppered kisses over her cheeks and neck again.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I wish we could just stay here," she added as she sighed. "It's been so nice, pretending the world doesn't exist. We both know it's more complicated outside of our bubble."

He nodded in agreement but said, "I'm almost looking forward to facing reality."

Her eyebrows shot upward. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want everyone to know. I want to show you off to the world. I want to hold your hand and buy you popcorn at movies and take you home at night without having to sneak around." He kissed her palm. "I want everything with you."

His hand drifted upward and she caught it, tangling their fingers together. "Now we have it," she said on an exhale. She tried to smile as she met his eyes. "We're going to figure this out…right?"

Lucas kissed her temple. "Yes. I promise you, yes, we are."

She smiled back genuinely, her fingers still dancing with his. "I can't wait to meet Mira," she said hopefully. "Do you think she'll like me?"

"She'll love you."

Peyton scowled at him. "Seriously, Lucas."''

"She will," he assured her earnestly. "And…what about Jenny? Where does she stand on all of this?"

"Right here!" a high-pitched, horrified squeal interjected, and Lucas and Peyton both sat up and turned to look at the door, where Jenny was standing. She was holding a tray with two coffee cups firmly settled into it in one hand; her other hand was busy covering her eyes.

"Jen!" Peyton cried.

"Yeah, standing right here. And in answer to your question, generally I'm okay with this, but right now it is really freaking uncomfortable and awkward."

"Understandably," Lucas agreed, trying to lighten the mood.

Peyton shot him a silencing look. "Babe, um…you know I'm always happy to see you, but…what are you doing here?"

"I just…I thought I'd bring you some coffee," Jenny squeaked out, still hiding her eyes. "But you're clearly, um, busy. So I'll come back later."

"Jenny," Peyton said as soothingly as she could, grabbing Lucas' button-down and pulling it on. "Hang on –"

"No, really, Mom…I can't be here right now. Here, uh…you guys can have the coffee." She set it down carefully without looking at them before hastily yelling "Bye!" and leaving Peyton's apartment as fast as her feet would carry her.

"Damn it," Peyton said quietly. That had never, ever happened to her before.

"You okay?" Lucas asked softly, his hand resting gently on her back. "Do you want to go after her? Or do you want me to go?"

She smiled over at him, shaking her head. "No. She needs time right now to…deal with that. I'll catch up with her at the studio a little later, when, hopefully…she'll have erased that image from her memory. For now…we have the coffee," she sighed.

"Don't sound so excited about it." He was teasing her, but he also understood.

Peyton groaned. "It's just…that was totally reality knocking on the door, wasn't it?"

"Bashing it down," he corrected her, smiling playfully. "It'll be okay, Peyton."

She grinned back, however reluctantly, watching as he walked over to fetch the caffeine. When he said it, she always believed it.

-x-

"So I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait, I'm sure. There's no need to complicate, our time is short. This is our fate, I'm yours," Peyton sang along with her playlist as she idly flipped through her binder. She was in the process of sending emails and making phone calls to check in with her LA label.

"Oh, my," Haley said teasingly, a knowing note to her melodic voice as she walked into the studio, which currently wasn't being used, Nathan trailing her.

"What?" Peyton asked defensively, but she couldn't stop smiling.

"Jason Mraz? I'm Yours?" Nathan asked, his eyebrows rising. "Sawyer," he chuckled, "you have got it bad."

"Shut up," she grumbled, trying to ignore them.

"We just stopped by to see how you were doing," Haley said. "But clearly, you're good." She smiled softly. "You know Brooke comes back in a couple days, right?"

"Oh, I know." She sighed. "I think about it a lot."

Nathan idly picked up a record and studied it. "You nervous?"

"In a lot of ways, no. I've known Brooke for so long and…we're going to be okay." She tossed her pen aside and sighed. "But in a few ways…yes. I'm really nervous."

Haley half-smiled sympathetically. She was on the fence, torn between her best girl friends. "Hey!" she said brightly. "Want me to be there when you guys talk?"

Peyton rolled her eyes affectionately. "No, Hales, we don't need a mediator," she said calmly. She sucked in some air, breathing, "I hope."

Chris Keller burst into the room, his eyes frantic. Peyton had seen him look depressed, but never quite so…undone. He stopped the moment he saw that she had company, plastering on a smile and saying, "Hey, guys," in such a purposefully, obviously forced casual way that it was almost humorous.

But somehow, they all knew it wasn't funny. Peyton stood up, studying his face carefully. "What is it?" she asked, her tone urgent.

He held his hands out as if he wanted to touch her, comfort her; or maybe stop her from doing something drastic. She couldn't read him well. They hadn't spoken much since she'd gotten with Lucas again – they'd told no one, but of course everyone knew. "Okay, listen…I don't want you to panic."

Of course, that sent Peyton's heartbeat into overdrive.

"You idiot," Haley hissed at Chris, whacking his arm with her purse. "You never tell someone not to panic if you don't want them to panic."

Jenny, then Lucas, flashed through Peyton's mind. She stared Chris down, gritting her teeth. "What happened?"

"Okay, well…there's no easy way for the Keller to say this…"

"Chris!" she cried desperately, her worry mounting with every passing second.

"I got a call. Jenny got in a car accident." He said it in a rush as if that would soften the blow.

-x-

Peyton was surprised she hadn't fainted. It had felt like she should have. Her knees had given out, but Nathan had caught her. She'd mumbled something desperate to the effect of I can't do this again and Haley had been at her side then, wrapping her up in a protective hug and insisting that she wouldn't have to.

And she didn't. She rested her head in her hands as she sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Nathan had gone off in search of some water or coffee or something; Haley and Chris sat on either side of her, hovering worriedly but not obnoxiously. They didn't need to. Jenny was going to be okay. The doctors had said she was injured, but not seriously, and it had stopped feeling to Peyton like her heart was about to implode.

"Peyton!"

Her head shot up at the sound of his voice, and she was out of her chair and into his arms in about two seconds flat, her head buried into his chest. She let a few tears leak out of her eyes as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"She's going to be fine," she heard Haley say quietly from behind her, and Lucas relaxed, rubbing her back soothingly.

"It's okay," he murmured into her hair, kissing the shell of her ear.

She took a shaky breath and said, breathing against his neck, "Thank you for coming."

"Of course." He pulled back a bit, lifting his hands to push her hair back from her face and cup her cheeks. It was so obvious to him. Of course he was there. This was where he'd always wanted to be; with her, no matter what.

"We're going to go ask if you can see her yet," Haley said softly, dragging Chris after her so that Lucas and Peyton could have some privacy.

"You okay?" he murmured, looking right into her eyes.

"I'm scared," she admitted, leaning into his hands and closing her own green orbs. "I got so scared."

His thumb skimmed over her cheek, wiping away her tears. "She's going to be fine."

She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't have the words. She settled on, "I'm so glad you're here," as she tucked herself into his arms, curling up against his chest and letting him protect her. She choked on a sob that morphed into laughter. "Always saving me." She shook her head, hair brushing against her chest. "Now I know how my dad felt, when he got that call after the school shooting. I swear my heart stopped."

Lucas made a disapproving sound as he kissed the crown of her head, insisting, "That's not allowed."

Her giggles sounded like they were water-logged. "Reality definitely decided to pay us a visit today. Can you still promise me that everything's going to be okay?"

He nodded, his chin bumping her forehead. "We'll figure it all out. The good…and the bad." He was overcome by the strange thought that it sounded like he was reciting wedding vows, and he pulled back, staring at her, almost in shock. "I'm going to be with you through everything. I want to be," he told her, gently fingering a few stray strands of her curly hair. "Peyt…"

She searched his face as tear tracks dried on her cheeks. "What is it?"

"I want to marry you," he said.

And her jaw dropped.

-x-

"Ms. Sawyer?" a timid teenager asked, tentatively approaching them. "Sorry to interrupt."

"It's okay," she said disjointedly. Some part of her brain that was working on an automatic function of some sort forced the words from her mouth.

"I'm, um…I'm Jordan Lynd. Jenny's…friend. I was driving," he added, his voice trembling. "I'm really, really sorry."

Lucas' eyes flashed, surprising them all. "Well, that's not going to fix her broken bones, is it?" he snapped, and the kid's whole body appeared the shake.

"Hey," Peyton said harshly, managing to get back into her own mind again. She placed her hand lightly on Lucas' arm, contradicting her words. She appreciated his reaction, but it was unnecessary. "I'm sorry," she added to Jordan.

He held up his shaking hands. "Hey, they warned me that fathers get like that."

Her head was spinning, but she didn't bother contradicting him. "It's okay. It really is. I was a pretty reckless driver as a kid and I…I know it was an accident." She tried to smile but it was as though she couldn't feel her lips. "I'm glad to meet you, by the way. The circumstances are just a bit unfortunate." She gave him a sympathetic look. "Go home. Rest. I'll have Jenny call you, I promise."

"Thank you," he breathed, looking a little steadier on his feet. "And again I'm really, really sorry. I care about her. I'd never mean to hurt her, I wouldn't. And, um, the…the doctor said you can go see her now."

She turned to Lucas the moment he disappeared. Her newly-reacquired love looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She tried to bring things into focus. "I…you got divorced from your wife, the mother of your child, my best friend – in complicated ways – only a week ago. I haven't talked to you in twelve years. You still don't know a lot about what's happened to me in those years and…and vice versa. But, God, he thought you were her dad… But this is insane, you know that, don't you? You have to. We just…we've been together for a week. We've…this isn't…I can't…" She was having trouble forming sentences. Mercifully, Lucas cut her off.

He placed both his hands lightly on her upper arms. "Peyton, hey," he said soothingly. "Look at me. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I thought that in the future, this would happen but not…not like this. You deserve better and it is way too soon and I was…it was stupid. Everything you just said was right. Go see your daughter," he added encouragingly, releasing her. "Go. We'll pretend this never happened."

She nodded, turning to walk away from him, feeling a little robotic. She had almost reached Jenny's room when she stopped short, turning around. "Luke?" she called out to him. He was still standing there, watching her go.

Yeah? he asked her with his eyes.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously, ringing her hands in apprehension. "What if…what if I don't want to pretend?" A fresh tear slid down her cheek as she waited for his answer.

He still didn't speak, but she understood all his questions.

She glanced down, a tear dripping onto the floor. She couldn't find her voice, so she took a deep breath and mouthed her question through the threat of sobs, hoping and praying that he'd be able to understand.

"Can I say yes?"

His reaction was the automatic influx of joy. His eyes lit up and his grin spread across his face quickly. "Peyt…" he said warmly, shaking his head in amazement, trying to tell her that she didn't have to mean it, but he'd love it if she did.

She shook her head, laughing through her tears as she wiped her cheeks. She took a deep breath and nodded at him, smiling in disbelief as well. She held his gaze for another long moment before ducking into her daughter's room.

-x-

"Hey," she whispered tenderly as she approached Jenny, who was, thankfully, sitting up and perched on the side of a bed. "How's the girl with the broken ribs?"

"Bruised," Jenny protested, smiling guiltily as she played down any thoughts of serious injury. "Are you mad?"

"No," Peyton said instantly, shaking her head. "You scared the hell out of me, but I'm not mad. I'm too relieved to see you in one piece."

"Are you…mad at Jordan?"

Peyton smiled fondly. "No anger directed at anyone, I promise." She paused. "What about you? Things were a mess this morning, I know."

"No anger directed at anyone," Jenny said slowly. "It's just…things are different. And different in more ways than…than I'm…maybe…ready for."

"Jenny…honey, I want you to talk to me about this. There are things that we need to discuss –"

Her daughter looked at her wearily. "Mom, I know. But I'm on three different pain killers and I'm tired and still…scared and I just…I don't want to do this now. Can we not do this now?" she asked desperately.

Peyton looked at her worriedly, leaning into to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Okay. Baby, it's okay. Not now."

-x-

Lucas was waiting for her even after ten o'clock in the evening, sitting alone on the front steps of his own house, reading a book by the beam cast by a flashlight.

"Hey," he said gently, setting his book aside as she joined him on the steps. He shrugged his sweater off instantly and wrapped it around her shoulders. "How is she?"

"I took her to Nathan and Haley's. She's got the best bed there, in her room with all her things. She said she was tired and she just wanted to be alone…but I doubt she'll go to sleep." She smiled knowingly but tiredly.

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Nothing," she said, sighing wearily. "I just know where to find my girl."

He let it go at that, not pressing it any further. "And what about my girl? How are you doing?"

"I'm a mess," she laughed. "But kind of in a good way, if that makes any sense."

Lucas put his arm around her, pulling her close to him. "I'm not trying to ask you anything big right now, I know you've got a lot going on. I never should have said that in the first place, it just happened. I didn't really have much control over it, if you can believe that. I just need to know if you meant it. If we're really going to do this…?"

She grinned, blinking slowly. She leaned toward him until their noses brushes. "Baby," she said softly, her voice slow and filled with hints of sleep, "We were always going to do this."

She kissed him fiercely until there wasn't a single doubt left in his mind about the authenticity of her words.

-x-

Peyton walked slowly down the boardwalk toward beach, pulling Lucas' sweater, which smelled sweetly of him, tighter around her shoulders. When she reached the sand, she kicked off a pair of Jenny's flip-flops that she'd borrowed and cuffed her black jeans. She continued on her way, her feet sinking softly into the slowly cooling grains of sand as she approached her daughter, who sat gazing at the waves with a sense of solitary calm about her.

Jenny made no comment when Peyton gently kicked her feet out and plunked down beside her. Peyton reached out and rubbed Jenny's bruised arm lightly. "Hey, you. How're those limbs of yours?" she asked, her voice just loud enough to be heard over the crashing surf.

Jenny didn't bother answering the question, but that didn't matter. "I'm pretty predictable, huh? Moody teenage girl staring at the ocean in the middle of the night."

Peyton smiled fondly as she tucked the long, tangled strands of blonde hair that hid her daughter's face behind her ear. "Meh, I can't judge. I did it too."

Swallowing audibly, Jenny bit down hard on her lower lip. "It's just hard, you know?" she said, her voice cracking as she hesitantly met her mother's eyes. "This summer has just been hard."

"I know," Peyton agreed kindly.

"When Chris Keller asked me if I was scared at the beginning of summer, I was. I wasn't sure that I was ready to fully commit to music the way I was supposed to with this whole thing. I wanted to, but I didn't know if I could. Little did I know…that was the easy part."

"I'm sorry, honey. I know that I've said it so many times, and I know that it's not always the answer you're looking for…but I'll keep saying it until you can trust me on it, until you can believe me."

Jenny made a small noise that could have been classified as a sob. "It's just hard," she repeated, her voice raw.

"I know," Peyton responded patiently. "Sweetie, I know. You never could have predicted that music would be the easy part of all of this."

"It's scary to know that everything I thought was real isn't anymore. I mean, with Jordan…I'm happy, Mom. It's good. It's really good. But it seems like only the new things in my life make sense. And that's not what I want."

Peyton sighed, immediately understanding the deeper meaning in her daughter's words. "Honey, that's the thing…everything is still real. You just know more now."

"I don't exactly feel well-informed. I feel…lost," Jenny admitted.

"This is never how I wanted anything to happen, Jen," Peyton told her quietly, hoping that Jenny could understand just how much she meant her words. "I have regrets about everything, so many, but in the end…I feel found," she shrugged, "Stupid and corny as that may sound, babe, it's true…but I could never be as whole as I feel right now if I didn't have you. That is one truth that never has and never will change."

Jenny's body constricted in another sob, but she was still rigid; Peyton knew that she couldn't touch her yet or the whole conversation would go to waste. She took a deep breath, pushing past the instincts that were screaming at her to comfort her child. "Jenny, I need you to know some other things that will always be true, okay?" At Jenny's small nod, she continued, "I loved your dad. I did, Jen, I loved him so much. With you and Jake…I found safety and so much happiness. I never want you to think that I didn't love him just because Lucas was always…there, in the background. It was not always me and Lucas. Lucas had Brooke for a long time, and for years, honey, it was Jake and I and nothing could have gotten in the way of it. I was never biding time with Jake. I would have loved him forever, Jenny, I could have. Okay?"

Jenny nodded again. She pulled her knees tight to her chest.

"I'm happy right now, kiddo, I am. Lucas means a lot to me, and I love him like…God, I can't even describe it to you, Jen. Lucas knows me better than anyone and he is there for me in all the ways I could ever need him to be, and my heart just takes off when he even looks at me. He's as good to me as Jake was, and I am so lucky to have found that twice."

"That's good," Jenny agreed in a very small voice, granting her mother her happiness.

"Yeah…it is. It's something I want for you someday, too. I want everything for you, Jenny, because that's how much I love you. I love you more than I could ever describe, too. I love you so much it hurts," she said honestly, her breath catching in her throats as she felt it. "Luke adored you when you were a baby, Jen, he really did. And he knows what it's like to go through parental drama, trust me on that. He's a great father. He can be anything that you want him to be – you set the terms of your relationship. Nothing is going to be awkward, honey, and I promise you that if it is, then I'll make whatever changes I need to for you."

Her daughter gave her an I-want-to-believe-you look. Peyton was making progress, but she wasn't there yet. She ran her fingers through Jenny's hair one more time. "I'm going to tell you something I never thought I'd tell you, okay? I know you think I have a hell of a lot of secrets, but this one has always been too important to me to share with anyone."

Jenny nodded again.

Peyton swallowed hard. "Before your dad's accident…we were trying for a baby. I had these visions in my head of a baby boy, a completion of our already amazing little family. You were such a sweet little girl that I knew you'd make the perfect big sister, and Jake was always the most spectacular dad. I loved you so much that I wanted to feel that twice-over, to have two kids. We were so excited about it.

"So when Jake died, I thought…that maybe I'd get pregnant. I hoped that maybe, Jake had left me with a part of him. I wasn't exactly dying to go through pregnancy and labour and raising two little kids by myself…but I wasn't thinking that way. I was grieving because I'd lost the man I loved.

"I wasn't pregnant though, as I'm sure you've noticed by now," she added teasingly, grasping desperately at levity. "When I got my period, a little less than two weeks after the funeral, I broke down again because it was like my last chance at keeping some of Jake with me was gone. I'm so stupid sometimes, Jen, that I just push people away and tell them I'm fine when I'm not. That's what I'd done that day, and you and I were alone in that apartment in Savannah. And I just sat there, in the bathtub, crying for what felt like hours." She swallowed against the lump in her throat and smiled. "And then you opened the door, and you peeked in, and you looked so sad and sweet that it broke my heart all over again. You came in, and shut the door behind you, leaving the ringing phone and all the flowers and the sympathy casseroles – the whole world – behind. And you got into the bathtub with me, laid down next to me, and just hugged me. And bam, my universe snapped back into focus and I realized that I really was the biggest idiot ever."

She looked at Jenny seriously to enforce her following words. "I didn't need a baby. Jake had already left me with the most important part of himself, and it was more than I ever could have asked for."

"Me," Jenny sniffled, her whisper barely audible.

"You," Peyton agreed just as softly with a nod. "Lucas is the great romantic love of my life, but you are my world. Nothing will ever change how I felt about your dad, baby, and nothing can ever change the way I feel about you. You're everything, Jenny, and that feeling's never going anywhere."

Jenny fully started to cry, tears running down her cheeks as her shoulders shook. Peyton physically ached to hold her, but she knew she had to wait, just a little longer. She studied Jenny sadly, patiently waiting for her sobs to quiet. When she calmed a little, she reached out to stroke Jenny's hair again, and Jenny turned abruptly to face her.

"Mom…I trust you. I believe you. I understand. I want you…to be happy. If you love Lucas…then it's good. I wouldn't want to take that from you. I would want for you to…find forever with him."

"Thank you, sweetheart…that means everything." Her daughter's opinion was the one that mattered most. It was the go-ahead to confirm the impulsive but perfect decision she'd made that day. Peyton held her breath as she awaited Jenny's next words.

Jenny's tears overflowed again, slipping down her sun-freckled cheeks. "And I love you."

Peyton's heart melted. "My baby girl," she said softly. She slipped out of Lucas' sweater with remarkable stealth and draped it around Jenny before pulling her into a tight hug – while still managing to watch out for her bruised-not-broken ribs – and planting several kisses on her daughter's forehead and cheeks. "I love you too."