A/N All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
CPOV
Calculus, as it turns out, really isn't that hard. Well sorta. Edward had just finished walking me through the last problem we'd been assigned as homework and beamed at me when I wrote down the correct answer.
"See I told you it's not that hard." Edward shut his book and slid it into his backpack.
I laughed nervously. "I think it's got more to do with you skills as a teacher more than my understanding." I'd been dreading this part of the night. Should I smile and leave or hang around hoping he asks me to stay.
"Would you like me to ask you to stay?" he asked with a seductive smile.
I scowled at him and brought up the image of the door. I pushed the door with all my mental strength and envisioned it slamming shut. Take that, I thought.
"I can still hear you," he informed me, "But it's more like a whisper than a shout and definitely softer than earlier."
Good," I retorted and began shoving my books into my bag.
Stupid vampire, I thought crossly, of course I want you to ask me to stay. I have the freaking hots for you, and I really hope you can't hear this.
I stopped thinking and brought up another door, a white one this time. I pushed it shut, the white door slammed shut.
Edward! I called out, Edward I think I'm falling in love with you, can you hear me?
Next to me Edwards face remained calm and unemotional. If he heard me he was doing a damn good job of playing it off. I thought about my mom, broken and alone. His eyes crinkled momentarily then relaxed. He couldn't hear me anymore, my heart danced in my chest. I'd have to be careful to keep the doors shut at all times, unless I wanted him poking around my head, but once again my thoughts were my own.
He looked up at me as I ripped the zipper on my bag shut. "I'm sorry," he said softly. Shame darkened his eyes. "I should have stayed out of your private thoughts."
"It's okay," I mumbled.
No more private thoughts for you, I thought smugly as I slung my bag over my shoulder and started toward the door. I stopped with my hand poised on the door knob. Edward had followed and stopped a few steps behind me.
"See you tomorrow," I said softly.
"Carly wait," Edward said as I opened the front door.
I turned and looked up at him from under my lashes. "Hmm?"
I don't know if it's possible, but I swear Edward turned a few shades whiter. "I-uh, nothing. I'll see you tomorrow."
I slipped into the chilly night, closing the door behind me. I rushed to my car, my heart beating rapidly. I wanted him to ask me to stay, but I'm glad he didn't. I don't want to be an upgraded version of the girl who got away. I wanted to be Carly to him; not Bella 2.0 or some twisted crap like that. When I looked at him sometimes it was like he was seeing her and not me.
When I was honest with myself, which wasn't often, I knew he still wasn't over her yet.
* * *
Emily showed up the next morning with an old plastic ice cream bucket full of almond granola. She set it on the counter and sat down, opening her paper noiselessly. "Good morning," she said from behind the paper.
"Morning," I replied and popped the lid off the granola. The scent of toasted almond, brown sugar and cinnamon wafted up and tickled my nose and my stomach growled noisily. "Mm, can I have some of this?"
"Of course. I made it for you."
I poured a bowl and sat down across from Emily. She lowered the paper and stared at me. "Where's Rachael?"
Emily nodded toward the second floor. "Passed out. Where were you last night?"
"I found someone to tutor me in calculus." I shoveled another spoonful of warm cereal into my mouth and chewed.
"Good. How's everything else?"
"I broke up with Jeremy yesterday. I think." I was amazed at my nonchalance toward the whole situation. Honestly, I was glad to be done with the relationship and even happier that I didn't have to be the one to break up with him. And after that stunt he pulled yesterday, breaking up with him was the least he deserved.
"How do you think you broke up with him?" she asked, her expression puzzled.
"He grabbed my arm after school and started yelling at me because I was talking to some guy." I chewed the spoonful of granola I'd just shoved in my mouth. Swallowing I said, "Edward," butterflies danced in my stomach at the mention of his softly spoken name, "stepped in and told Jeremy to stay away from me."
Emily shook her head disapprovingly.
"What?" I said in that typically defiant teenage way.
"Carly, I wish you'd stay away from him," she said softly. The love and fear were evident in her troubled eyes. It made me angry that she would continue to judge someone she barely knew.
"Why?" I demanded and shoved my chair away from the table. "He's been nothing but nice to me; and he told me about what happened between him and mom and dad all those years ago. He knows he made a mistake and he's spent all this time paying for it so everyone should just lay off."
"Carly, that's not what I meant-,"
"Oh, then what? Because he's a vampire, right?"
"Keep your voice down," Emily hissed. "And yes, that's exactly why."
"Oh, okay whatever, like Sam and my dad and everyone else were as docile as kittens back then. Your reasons are a load of crap and we both know it."
"Carly," Emily ran a hand through her short graying hair. She looked as if she'd aged ten years in the few shorts weeks that had passed since my parents died. "His kind are what triggers the change in our kind. I don't know if it will happen to you or not; that's all. I don't care if he's a vampire or a troll; I am in no position to judge; I'm married to a werewolf for Pete's sake. I'm just worried about you."
I sighed. I hated when she pulled the 'I'm worried about you card.' If they were all so worried they would have told Masen, Tony and I about all this supernatural crap a long time ago; if they had none of this would be an issue. I glanced at the clock over Emily's shoulder.
"I gotta go," I said and stormed out of the kitchen.
* * *
School was the same repetitive crap it always was. Jeremy gave me a wide berth, sitting on the opposite side of the classroom during our government class. Even Paige avoided me after I told her Edward wasn't going to the dance.
After the final bell rang, I trudged through the rain to my car. Irritation and anger put me into one hell of a foul mood; as far as days went this one seriously sucked.
The next day wasn't any better. Paige was still mad at me; she stared daggers at me during both of our classes together. When I cornered her to find out what her problem was she as she had to say was a venomous, "Fuck off."
By the time Friday afternoon finally rolled around I was ready to go home, climb into bed and never, ever get out. When I walked into the house, Rachael was on the phone screeching at someone named Doyle; in her left hand was a martini, which she was sloshing all over the kitchen floor as she drunkenly screeched into the phone. I cleared my throat and she looked at me and nodded. I waved and quickly ducked up the stairs.
This was, by far, the second shittiest week of my life. Edward had missed the last two days of school and all I wanted, besides climbing into bed and never emerging again, was to drive out to his house just so I could see him, talk to him; escape for just a few hours.
I strode to the window and glanced out across the yard. The pine trees seemed to be waving to me encouraging me to seek refuge under their evergreen branches. I greedily accepted; snatching a sweat shirt off the back of my computer chair. Rachael was still on the phone when I passed by and exited the house without a word. She was too absorbed in her phone call to even notice my leaving.
It was darker in the woods. Dusk was already settling into the leaves of the trees. Soggy pine needles squeaked underfoot as I let my mind wander. Edward had missed two days of school; he hadn't called or came by, nothing. I was starting to feel strange, and not the good strange I'd been feeling lately. I was angry and upset, it felt like someone poked a hole in my heart and picked at it until the edges were frayed and the hole grew larger and larger with each passing breath.
Jesus, how freaking cliché is that? He's just some stupid boy…err vampire. Whatever, who cares?
The achy feeling told me that I cared, as a matter of fact. I ignored it and let my anger simmer. I was mad that he hadn't called me or came by. I guess my walking out on him made him think I didn't want to see him. What the hell kind of sense did that make? Not a whole lot if you asked me. I told him I'd see him later.
God, you're such an idiot, I berated myself, why couldn't you for like two seconds, pretend to be a normal girl, and oh I don't know, flirt with him or ask to stay? Or wait, here's a better idea, why didn't you just kiss him for crying out loud. That's what a normal girl would have done, why didn't you do that?
"Because I'm not normal!" I screamed at the mossy trees.
Angry tears filled my eyes and I swiped them away viciously with the sleep of my sweat shirt. I'd had enough of these damn tears. I sniffled and made my wait further into the woods and came upon the spot where Edward and I sat the other night. I trailed my finger over the tree trunk he'd leaned against. The irrational part of my wanted to lean down and smell the moist bark just to see if it smelled like him
That's stupid, I thought angrily and pushed on.
I came upon the fork in the trail and stopped. The trail to the left was the one I always took; it was well worn and trampled by my thousands of passed footsteps.
The one to the right called to me though I'd never taken it. Standing there staring down the overgrown trail Frost suddenly came to me:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Standing there in the near twilight I made up my mind and took the path less traveled.
It was dark when I noticed the trees were growing thinner. Up ahead I could see a faint glimmer of lights. I pushed through the trees and found myself in a clearing; a large white house stood before me. Edward's house.
God, how far did I walk? I wondered.
Up at the house, the front door opens and light spills onto the porch. The person on the porch calls out. Their features I couldn't see, but the voice that called my name was one I would have known anywhere.
"Carly are you out there?" Edward called.
Yes, I thought.
Edward was a blur as he darted off the porch and raced across the yard. He reached my side in record time. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I was walking, the trail led here. I'm sorry, I'll go." I turned to leave, but his hand darted out and grabbed my sleeve.
"Wait," he pleaded. "There are some people I want you to meet."
"Who?" I asked.
"My family." He tugged my sleeve again, pulling me toward the house.
"I don't know Edward; it's late and I have to…um, I have to write a report on the Vonnegut book."
"Carly, it's Friday. You have all weekend to write that report."
I tugged my sleeve out of his grasp and started back toward the woods. Edward quickly caught up to me.
"Please," he breathed and once more I was like a dancing marionette; and he played the part of the puppeteer so well, bending and manipulating me to his will.
"Okay," I said a little breathlessly. Edward grabbed my hand and led me across the moon washed front lawn.
"You ready?" he asks, pausing on the porch stairs. I nod and together we walk, hand in hand onto the wide porch. He calls out as he opens the door.
"Alice, Esme."
From the living room two beautiful women appeared; both had the same powder white skin as Edward as well as the same warm butterscotch eyes.
"Bella!?" the shorter of the two breathed; her delicate eyebrows arched in surprise.
"No," I said, and shook my head. "I'm Carly; her daughter."
The three of us stood there awkwardly staring at each other.
Who are these people?, I thought.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Edward apologized. "This is my mother, Esme and my sister, Alice. Everyone else is around here somewhere."
I swallowed hard, not expecting to find myself in a house full of vampires. Edward suppressed a grin and gently laid his hand on the small of my back.
"Esme, Alice, this is Jacob and Bella's daughter, Carly."
Alice grabbed my hand. "Your mom and I were best friends before…" she trailed off.
"She knows everything Alice. Between Sam and Emily Uley and me, Carly knows everything that happened back then."
"Oh," Alice said; her features were a mask of frustration. "I should have seen all this happening. You're not a werewolf are you? You don't smell like one."
I shook my head no. "I normally take the other trail," I mumbled feebly as if that made any difference. "I didn't know it would lead me here."
"Oh don't worry about it," the one named Alice chirped. She looked like a raven haired Tinker bell; part of me wanted to spin her around to see if she was hiding wings under the winter white cashmere sweater she wore.
"Are you vampires as well?" I asked.
She and the honey haired woman chuckled. "Yes dear, we are."
The older woman, God what was her name?
"Esme," Edward whispered in my ear. I scowled at him.
Esme chuckled. "He does it to you as well I see."
Still scowling I turned to face her. "Yes, and its very rude." I shot him a meaningful look. Edward shrugged, not even pretending to be ashamed.
"Well," I said glancing at my watch. "I should probably get going. I didn't tell my aunt I was leaving; I don't want her to worry."
"Well we wouldn't want her to worry," Esme said warmly. "Come back soon so we can visit."
I liked her, she seemed like a wonderful person; warm and inviting.
"Okay, I will," I promised then turned to leave.
"I'll drive you home," Edward offered.
"Okay," I murmured. In my head, I brought the doors up and shut them. I was definitely going to need to be alone in my head on the way home. He came back with his keys dangling from those long, slender fingers.
"Ready?"
I nodded and looked at Esme and Alice. "Goodbye, it was nice to meet you."
Esme smiled and waved and once again Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me toward his car.
"Your mother and sister are lovely," I said to him once inside his car.
"Thank you. They came down a few days ago for a visit along with Jasper, my brother and Carlisle, my father."
"Oh that's nice." I fiddled with the sleeves of my hoodie. "Is that why you weren't in school?" I asked with what I hoped was casual curiosity.
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Busted, I groaned.
"Yes, that's why."
I nodded and fiddled with my sleeved.
"What happened the other night?" Edward finally asked after several minutes of awkward silence. I shrugged knowing he's see the movement in the dark.
"I had to go," I stated.
"Really?"
"Mhmm."
"It seemed like you wanted to stay," he retorted.
"I'm seventeen years old," I snorted, "I have no idea what I want."
Edward's fingers flexed on the steering wheel. "Don't play games with me Carly." He shot me an almost menacing glare.
"I'm not Edward," I retorted through clenched teeth. "What do you want from me?" I asked, dreading the answer.
Edward pulled up to the curb in front of my house and shut the engine off. "I don't want anything from you," he said softly.
That clichéd hole tore open a bit more. "You just seem like you need a friend; someone who will just be there for you." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
I shivered involuntarily. "What do you want from me?" he asked.
Kiss me, I thought.
He smiled; "Well?"
"Nothing," I lied. "I don't want anything from you."
I got out of the car and ran for the house. Rachael had already gone to bed. I darted noiselessly up the stairs and threw myself onto my bed; sobbing.
Suddenly two steel arms wrapped around my and lifted me up. I had no idea how he got in. My bedroom door was shut and I hadn't heard the window open; but sure enough my curtains were blowing in the early February gusts.
"Edward," I sobbed. He brushed away the tears and shushed me. His slick fingers traced my lips.
"What do you want from me?" he asked.
My mind answered before I had the chance to form the words. Kiss me, it practically begged. Carefully, as if I were a porcelain doll, he cautiously lowered his face until his cool lips were pressed against mine.
What am I, your grandmother? I thought; kiss me like you mean it.
I felt him smile and his cool fingers gently grasp my face and tilt it toward his. My lips parted, allowing him full access and our tongues touched. My body tensed and it felt like a thousand volts of electricity were passing through me. Kissing him was like touching a live wire; a sensation that shocked the very core of who I was. It had never been like this with Jeremy.
I fisted my hands into his disheveled locks and pulled him closer to me. At first he resisted, but I twisted his hair around my fingers, pulling it tighter. He groaned and submitted. No longer gentle, he tore his lips from mine and licked a path across my neck. I moaned and would have let my head fall back if he hadn't had a hold of it. Once more, his lips were on mine, his tongue gently caressing mine.
I unraveled my hands from his hair and wrapped them around his neck. He pulled back and I leaned forward. We fell, he on his back, me on top of him. I chuckled wickedly, and then felt myself flying back in to the pillows at the head of my bed.
"We can't-I can't do this," he groaned.
I felt hurt and made no secret about it. "Why not?" I pouted.
"Carly,-I," he sighed and ran his hand.
"You what?" I challenged pushing myself up.
He sat on the edge of the bed not saying a word. "Is this because of my mom?" I demanded.
Edward stared at the floor. "Yes-no- I mean, I don't know. Perhaps a bit, but no."
I vaulted off the bed, angry. "Jesus Christ Edward, it was over forty years ago. When are you gonna get over it? She loved my dad. She moved on, get over it already."
He gasped at me; his wild bronze eyebrows arched high with surprise. "Well, it's true. Guess I'm just not as good as her huh? God's sitting up there smirking at you going "here's your consolation prize chump." Now get out of my room."
I watched him wearily rise from the bed. He stopped at the window and looked at me. "I'm sorry."
"No you're not," I spat at him. "You messed up once before and you're too stupid to see the good things, even when they're standing right in front of you. So good job Edward, way to go around collecting hearts; you're a regular heartbreak kid aren't you? Maybe you'll hold onto this long enough to hurt the next girl who's stupid enough to fall for you."
"I'm sorry," he said again, then disappeared out the bedroom window.
I stared at the open window watching the curtains blow in the breeze. Once again I'd been left standing here flustered and confused. His mood swings were leaving me dizzy; one minute he wanted me, the next he didn't.
I slammed the window shut and watched as he slowly pulled away from the curb. Tomorrow,I vowed. Tomorrow I would make him decide. Me or the memory. It was harsh, but my heart was too delicate to take it anymore.
Reviews are better than making out with edward..lol..well maybe not
Okay, real quick..the doors...I spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and this is how I figured it..basically our minds are open to lots of things and if there was a such thing as a telepath we are just open for them to peek around in our minds, but if we try blocking them, its harder for them to hear our thoughts..thats the gist of the doors, its Carly's way of blocking Edward...the block is fragile so if she gets distracted or angry its harder for her to keep him out of her head...and you'll soon see what the Cullens think of history repeating itself...
