Chapter 4

Anna had been back in Port Charles for a couple day when she ran into Mac outside of Kelly's. She had been meaning to get together with him but hadn't seemed to find the time. Robin had just moved in with Laney and Kelly, girlfriends from work and Anna had enjoyed helping her get settled in. Anna knew Robin didn't need her help but was glad she'd let her. Anna agreed to join Mac as soon as he asked, so they sat at one of the tables outside. They talked a little about what they had both been doing then Mac seemed to get serious. "Am I right to assume you and Robert are on good enough terms you are talking to each other?" he asked.

Anna wondered where that had come from, "Yeah we can talk and not fight, sometimes," she joked. "Once Robin told us we didn't mess her up, I think we've stopped blaming each other for that very thing."

"Good, I think he's hiding some kind of problem from us all," Mac told her.

Anna was a little confused but also knew Robert was still trying to deal with everything that had happened. "What do you mean?"

"When you had first gone out of town I saw him here, he had just ended a call and there was a look of joy or excitement on his face, I assumed he had gotten a new assignment, but he said he had been talking to you, about Robin. We started talking and I could tell he was making an effort to connect with me, but then he changed. All of the sudden it was like he wanted to hurt someone, I saw the anger wash over him, it was like he was consumed by it. Then he got up and left, I think to protect me," Mac explained.

"Do you know what happened to set him off like that?" Anna was getting worried.

"He was talking about getting his family back together and how quickly it was all taken away. It was like a switch was flipped, when he left he said he had to be alone." Anna could see the concern on Mac's face as he talked.

"We have talked a few times and he has told me about some of the things the WSB did to control him." Anna pointed at a small scar on her neck, "I had no idea where this had come from, apparently there had been a knife to my throat, it was their way of showing him they could kill me at any time."

"Gees Anna, I have been so mad at Robert since the moment he hit town. I didn't care what he had gone through, or how he might have suffered. I never gave it a second thought" Mac admitted. "Do you think he's OK?"

"No Mac he isn't, but he's trying."

"You're good for him Anna, Robert needs to know you'll be there. The look I saw on his face just from talking to you, I think you're the key to helping him get through whatever he's dealing with. I know it's a lot to ask, but he needs you, Anna," Mac hated asking this of her.

"When it's just Robert and I we both let down our defenses, it hasn't happened often but it helps both of us. I think we've found a way to get more of that alone time. Maybe I can get him to open up to me." Anna hadn't seen him since they had been at the cottage, she might go there again tonight.

"Thank you, Anna, I know I'm asking a lot but I remember how you could always get through to my brother no matter how stubborn he was being." Mac smiled then added, "Even if it's just as a friend he needs you in his life."

"I know he does. Please don't repeat this but we're getting along better then people think. I need him in my life too and we are working at making that a possibility," Anna said with a smile.

Mac smiled back at her, "So what was that conversation really about I didn't believe it was just about Robin?"

"I was going on an assignment and he wanted me to be careful."

"OK, what did you mean about finding a way to be alone with him?"

"Mac, that's none of your business," Anna pretended to be annoyed, then smiled.

Mac laughed then said "Thank you, Anna, this means a lot to me. He's still my brother and I want to know he'll be OK." When they parted ways Anna was happy Mac had talked to her, she was starting to feel like she could spend some more time here with her old friends. She was enjoying being involved in Robin's life as well, she knew she was a pain sometimes, but Robin was taking it in stride. She was actually going to be meeting her later for a late lunch. Anna had some work to do first, Alcazar was still mad about Skye but she still had to find a way in. Work aside she was starting to feel normal, not the woman who had amnesia, the woman who was lost for years. She was still the woman whose heart had broken when she remembered the amazing life she'd had and everything she had lost though. Somedays she would feel so broken inside, but lately that hadn't happened as often either. Anna knew she had to stay in Port Charles for a while, these were the people she needed to be around no matter how sad it could make her. To move on she needed them to be a part of her life, all her old friends, her family, especially Robin, and Robert, she needed him more then she liked to admit.

...

Robert had been staying busy, he needed to. When he wasn't he thought about Anna and would find himself lost in his thoughts. Robert knew Alcazar was a problem and he knew it wouldn't do to be caught off guard by him or his men. There was another problem as well, he had started having trouble sleeping. If it was because he was dreaming about being with Anna he wouldn't mind but it wasn't. He was having dreams about losing her again, he would wake up after trying but failing to rescue her, then he would realize where he was and that Anna should be safe where ever she was. Robert had even called her a couple times late at night just needing to hear her voice. He hadn't had these dreams for quite a while, in the past, he would just drink to make them stop, but he wouldn't do that anymore. He knew he still drank more then he should but it was getting better. Robert had gone out to the cottage a couple time, and he'd walked down by the lake. It had helped him relax but Anna hadn't been there and he really wanted to see her just to know she was OK. The times she had been there Robert had noticed the little signs she left. At least she was using the cottage, so he knew they would eventually see each other.

...

It had been a couple of weeks since Anna had seen Robert if he hadn't stopped it to visit Robin a couple time she might have thought he'd left town. At least they had shared a few late night phone calls, they would talk about whatever came up, just wanting to hear the other's voice. The conversations sometimes got more serious Anna now believed Robert wanted to open up to her. He'd admitted to struggling with keeping his temper at times, but it had been much worse about 3 to 5 years ago. Anna had gone to the cottage a couple of afternoons. She had hoped to see Robert but had enjoyed the peace and quiet of being there by herself. There she was free to think about Robert, and what was going on between them. What had the last 15 years done to him? As painfully as this was going to be, Anna knew she would have to open up about what she remembers from that time as well. The painful memories that had broken her heart when she had finally remembered them. Then those thoughts would be replaced by the thought of his touch, Anna had to admit she still craves his touch, and the effect he had on her. Why does it have to hurt so much to love him? They'd shared brief periods of complete happiness, living together, married with dreams of their future. Why would it be any different this time? She knows they could find that happiness again, but then when would it be ripped away?

Anna had been lost in thought when she returned to her hotel room, but she had still noticed the man watching her when she got to her room. Alcazar definitely didn't trust her, this was going to be a lot harder then she had thought at first. Anna had only been back for about 10 minutes when there was a knock at her door. When she answered it as happy as she was to see him, whoever was watching her can't know they are on good terms with each other.

"I keep missing you at the cottage. I know I said it was so you could have time to yourself, but I've wanted to see you," Robert said with a smile.

"Oh, so you figured you'd just come over here and bother me," she said sharply.

"Anna?" Robert was confused by her reaction.

"After everything you've put me through why should I listen to anything you have to say?" Anna was all but yelling at him now.

"Anna I've told you why I did what I did."

"It's not good enough," Anna snapped back.

"Please, can I come in?" Robert looked both ways down the hall. "We should talk, I need you to understand. Besides we're going to draw attention to ourselves."

"Fine but don't think anything you say will make a difference." Anna stepped aside and let him enter. She closed the door behind him then walked across the room.

As she walked past him, Robert started to follow her, wondering what had happened since they last talked? "I thought you understood, I didn't have a choice, Anna. I had to stay away from you. They would have killed you."

Anna turned and walked back towards him, "I do understand, I was once in a similar position." Then she grinned, when she was close, "I think I was followed back here by one of Alcazar's men just a little while ago. I had to make them think we don't get along well." Then a little louder, "I don't care why it happened it still happened."

Robert put his hands on her hips when she got close enough, then whispered: "You had me worried there for a minute." Robert grinned, then added loudly, "Anna I need you to just let me explain."

"Fine," Anna shot back loud enough that anyone that was trying to listen at the door would think she is going to let him talk now.

Still standing together Robert asks, "When will we get some time alone?"

"Soon hopefully, I'm busy the next couple of day but I want to talk to you some more," she told him.

"I want to do more than talk." Anna just grinned at him, he wasn't the only one. "I can't get you out of my head Anna. I hope you don't mind the late night calls. I've missed you so much, sometimes the need to hear your voice or see you just takes hold of me."

"I enjoy hearing your voice before I go to sleep," Anna put her arms around his neck. "I missed you too. I don't know how long I'll be listening to your excuses before kicking you out of here."

"Well in that case." Robert leaned in and kissed her. "I wish you were done with this case, I want to get you alone."

"I want that too, we still need to have a long talk."

"Talk, is that all you want from me?" Robert asked playfully.

"I want to talk about a lot of things, once that's out of the way then we can see what happens."

"Maybe things like this," then he kissed her again, pulling her closer. He could feel her desire in the kiss, the passion started to grow.

Anna pulled back and smiled at him, "Yeah something like that. Soon enough we'll get a chance for time together, but I think you should be going. In case there is someone waiting to see how this conversation ends."

"It should end up with us in between the sheets."

Anna giggled, "Robert, we are having a heated argument about how you mistreated me for all those years."

"It's heated all right," then he kissed her neck. "OK I'll go, but don't make me wait so long to see you next time."

"OK," she smiled. "I think you should leave," she said a little louder.

"Anna!"

"I've heard enough for one day just go." They were still in each other's arms, "I should have some free time this weekend," she whispered.

"It's now booked, meet me at the cottage." She nodded then he kissed her one last time, "Fine I'll go but we're not done talking about this, Anna."

Anna walked over and opened the door, "Robert I don't want to hear another word get out." Robert turned and walked out the door, his head down. As he walked down the hall he saw a man not far from her door, she had been right about the tail. Anna closed the door and leaned on it, she placed her fingers on her lips and smiled. They had better have that talk soon, she'd love to be between the sheets with him, but knew they both have too many unanswered questions. Until they have, Anna knows it's crazy to think about anything more, but knowing that doesn't stop the thoughts about them she's been enjoying.

...

Anna had been so happy when Robin finally agreed to a day at the spa with her. The last few days had been tough, Alcazar was not going to let her get close. It was so wonderful getting to do these little things with her daughter, they had lost so much time and she felt they both wanted to make up for some of what they had missed. Afterwards, they were chatting and laughing as they walked through the Metro Court lobby when they passed the front desk Anna was surprised when the desk clerk called out to her, "Excuse me, Ms. Devane, there's a message here for you." Anna thanked her for it then turned and started to walk with Robin again as she opened it. 'I need to be alone but I don't want to be by myself,' was all it said. Anna hadn't realized Robin had read it as well.

"Well, that has spy written all over it. I guess it's from dad?" Robin asked

"What makes you think it's from your father?"

"I know you two, it sounds like he needs a friend and wants you to met him, probably somewhere you've met before," she answered.

"Oh you would have made an amazing spy," Anna said proudly.

"Uncle Mac told me about how upset dad had gotten when they were talking a few weeks ago. Dad had to leave, Uncle Mac was sure it was because dad didn't want to direct that anger at him."

"Yeah, Mac talked to me about that too, he's always had a temper but this is different. Your father and I have been talking, there is a part of him that is still very angry about everything that happened and how our family was torn apart. He told me he has been working on it but sometimes he can't hold it back."

"Oh mom, that's horrible, if he gets that angry aren't you worried about being alone with him?"

The look on Anna's face told Robin she shouldn't have to ask that, "Do you really think your father would hurt me?"

"No. You're probably the only person that could get through to him if he lost his temper," Robin told her.

"Well not the only one, he might try to make you leave, but if you stuck around, said the right things he'd let you in too." Then Anna smiled, "you two are so much alike."

"I've been told I have the best and worst traits of both my parents," Robin told her with a smile.

"That sounds about right," Anna said proudly. "I had better go see him though."

"And you know where he is?" Robin asked.

"Of course I do," Anna said with a smile, "I love you, see you later sweetheart." Robin couldn't help but smile as she watched her mother walk away. Her parents' relationship amazed her, even when they were so mad they wanted to strangle each other, they would still risk their own life to save the other. Robin realized that's how messed up true love can be.

...

It had been a rough day, Robert didn't know why but he'd been angry all day. The latest dream must have set him off, Faison had Anna tied up with a knife to her throat and he was laughing. Robert was running towards them but he just couldn't get to her, he couldn't save her. Robert had had this dream before, but it was Anna from when Faison kidnapped her, this time it was Anna from now. He didn't have to work so he had decided to go out to the cottage. He shouldn't be around other people today. So far Mac was the only one in Port Charles that had seen him start to lose his temper. Robert had gotten away from him quickly so he hoped he didn't know how bad it could get.

Why did he want Anna there so badly then? They had plans to meet tomorrow afternoon already. Did he want her to see him like this? When he'd stopped at the store he'd wanted to scream at the clerk for being too slow for his liking. Anna hadn't answered when he had called so he'd left a message at the Metro Court for her, it might have been cryptic but she'll understand. Robert was pacing back and forth in the cottage unable to relax at all. For the last five nights, he had lost Anna to Faison again, that had been part of the reason he had gone to her hotel room the other day, he had really just wanted to see her. Robert wasn't sure when she first appeared like she looks now but that had made the dream seem more real and harder to forget. Today he just needs to see her, to know she was safe, he heard someone at the door and froze. When Anna opened the door he rushed over to her. She was OK Faison hadn't taken her. Robert wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

Anna didn't know what was going on, but he was clearly upset. "What's the matter? Are you OK?" she asked.

After a moment he said, "Now that you're here I think I am."

Anna reached up and touched his face it was damp with perspiration. Why was he so worked up? She wanted to find out so she took his hand and lead him over to the couch. "Do you want to talk or should we just sit for a while?" she asked.

"If I can hold you I'd be happy just to sit here for a while." Anna smiled and slid closer to him, she rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you, Anna." Oh how he needed this woman, holding her, he felt the anger fading. Anna and Robin will always be his biggest source of strength and his biggest weakness.

They sat not talking for some time, then gradually Anna felt him relax. When he kissed the top of her head she felt she could ask a few question. "What happened today?"

"I think it all started because of these dreams I've been having, but you're safe, I know that now." He explained about the dreams, Anna just listened, letting him get it all out, right down to the poor clerk at the market.

When he was all done she touched his check, she loved this man. Hadn't they been through enough already, why is he having to go through this as well? "Do you always get upset if you're worried about me?" she asked.

"No, I know you can take care of yourself. A while back I was talking to Mac, and it just hit me like a brick," Robert paused, "I had said something about getting everything I had ever wanted then losing it in a flash. Then I just wanted to smash things or hurt someone so they would be in as much pain as I was. I had to get away from Mac because I was worried I'd say or do something I'd regret. That time it subsided as quickly as it came on. I went down to the docks and I could picture you there with me and it just went away. Not today, until I saw you, I just couldn't calm down at all," he admitted.

Anna knew he needed to talk to someone about this, Robert needed help to deal with whatever was going on. He can't go around half-cocked in their line of work. Right now she was just happy he had gotten control again, then she had an idea, "Robert what if you got called out of town for a few days? You could stay here, I'd come here as often as I can, we can talk. No one will look for you if they think you're out of town on business. I think you need some time to refocus, get a little rest and deal with what's really bothering you."

"Yeah I think that would be a good idea," Robert agreed

"When I come out I can bring some things you might need."

"I need you."

"I'll be here."

"I need you, Anna. Stay with me tonight, I don't want you to leave me."

"Robert I thought we were taking things slow."

"I need you here with me. I have to know you're safe if I have another dream, I need to know he hasn't taken you away from me again." Anna could tell he was asking for help, then he added, "I will do my best to control myself," then he smiled, "if you will."

This made Anna smile too, he might be worried but if Robert was teasing her, she knew he was doing better, "I'll try," then she kissed his cheek.

"Hey back off, I just said no sex," they both laughed.

"I could use a drink, how about you?"

"Oh sure get me all liquored up so you can have your way with me, I'm on to your little game Devane."

"Oh shut up Scorpio and get the glasses," she laughed. Anna knew this change had been because of her, Robert had simply needed to know she was safe. The anger and fear had left him, now he was calm and making jokes. At least he realized there was a problem that he might not be able to handle on his own. If Anna had to stay with him every night he was out here she would.

Later that evening they were sitting on the couch after they had eaten and finished a couple bottles of wine when Anna noticed Robert was nodding off. "Hey let's go upstairs, we'll be more comfortable in the bed." Robert didn't argue, he let himself be lead up to the loft. When they got into bed Anna cuddled up to him, Robert wrapped his arms around her holding her close. It seemed like seconds and he was asleep, holding her, he held everything and peacefulness washed over him. Anna couldn't believe how right it felt laying in his arms again. She had missed this more then she realized. Anna needed him just as much as he needed her. Why does it have to be so hard for them to be together she wondered, then let herself drift off to sleep as well.

Robert woke from his dream in a cold sweat. Faison had Anna and was holding a gun to her head, 'If I can't have her, you never will, Scorpio,' then he started laughing. Robert woke up when he called out to her. He didn't know where he was at first, then he realized he wasn't alone. "It's OK Robert, I'm right here." Then he felt her hand on his chest. Anna was right there, Faison hadn't taken her. For the first time, Robert was able to put the dream out of his mind instantly. A sense of relief washed over him when she kissed him and cuddled up to him. He put his arms around her pulling her closer and drifted back to sleep.

Anna woke up first, but didn't get out of bed, she didn't want Robert to wake up and think she was gone. She was sure Robert didn't know he had been calling out her name just before he woke up in the middle of the night. There had been fear in his voice and she was sure it had been the same kind of dream he had told her about the night before. She wondered how long he'd been having these dreams. She didn't think it was happening in the Markum Islands, but then again she had slept very close to him that night too. Anna smiled thinking about how she had put one leg over him while they slept, she had wanted to be close to him having just found out he was alive.

"What are you smiling about Luv?"

Anna smile grew, "I was thinking about the last night we slept this close to each other." Then she put her leg across him.

"I must admit I enjoyed having you wrapped around me again." Then he kissed her, he hadn't planned it but it felt so right. Anna didn't pull away, she kissed him back. He wanted her so much, he couldn't keep doing this to himself if they weren't ready to take this next step. As his hand roamed over her body he realizes she had less clothes on than when they'd gone to bed, at some point she had removed her pants, desire raged through him. She'll have to stop them, he knows he won't be able to. He rolled them so he was on top and she let out a soft moan, he felt her fingertips dig into his bare back, pulling him closer to her.

Anna couldn't think of anything other than Robert and how much she wanted to be with him. Everywhere his hands went her skin sizzled in the wake. She knew the second he realized she didn't have any pants on, she loved that she still had this effect on him. She wanted him, there was no denying that, but was she ready to go there again. If she didn't slow this down that wasn't going to be a question anymore. When he had taken his shirt off last night she had noticed how fit he still was, now running her hands over his body she just wanted to touch more of him. Damn it she yelled in her head, then she slowed her hands and she moved her lips closer to his ear. "Slow down hon, we need to be sure about this."

Robert heard her, and lift himself up a little. "There's no denying we both want this, what are you unsure of?" then he started kissing her neck. He slid his hand under her top, needed to touch her.

His touch was driving her wild, it felt so good, Anna didn't want him to stop, but, "I can't think with you doing that."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Anna answers lost in him again. "I mean yes. Sorry I mean yes."

Robert understood she was having the same internal battle he was, he knew they needed to talk more, there was still a lot of things they both needed to deal with where the other one was concerned. Robert kissed her once more than adjusted so he could lay with his head on her chest. "You know if I hadn't spent years denying to myself how much I wanted you I'm not sure I could have stopped so easily, years of practice in self-control I guess." He smiled up at her, "I knew it was going to have to be you that stopped us this time."

"I almost didn't," Anna admitted. "We need to talk Robert."

"I know we do," Robert agreed then cleared his throat. "I want you in my life, and I will take you any way I can get you. It's clear we both still crave a physical relationship, or we wouldn't be in the positions we're in right now."

"That's what's confusing me the most." Anna thought about how to continue, "Even after we've talked if we start a physical relationship, how long until it all comes crashing down around us. It seems like the happier we are the worse the downward spiral is."

"What if I promised not to marry you?" Robert was surprised when Anna started laughing.

"That might be the most romantic idea you've ever had Scorpio. It only goes downhill after there are rings on our fingers." Then she started to laugh again.

"I know I hurt you by staying away, then not coming to you once I could. Especially after I had seen Robin, I owed you a phone call at the very least. I have made so many mistakes, and I'm not sure I can ever make that up to you." Robert gently kissed her chest then continued. "I was so afraid of being a disappointment in your eyes. I should have gotten to you sooner, I should have been able to save you from Faison, but I let you down again."

"I never should have let myself be in that position in the first place. I shouldn't have fallen for his trap. Robert, we can't change any of that, all we can do is deal with what we have now. We can't keep blaming ourselves or each other, the past is the past," Anna told him.

"You're right. Anna I want you in my life, in my bed all of it. I want a relationship with you. If we can't do that I need to know I will still have you as my friend."

Robert was saying everything she felt, "I want it all, I'm willing to give us another chance, but we have to wait. There is a lot that needs to be dealt with first. There is still so much we need to tell each other, I still have questions and I know you must have some for me," Anna told him. "You will always have me as your friend, like I know I have you." Then she kissed him lightly.

Robert kissed her neck again, "I hate this scar. I hate that you have any scar because of me." He looked up at her then touched the right side of her face. If they were waiting he had better get out of this bed, "I think we should get up, maybe have some coffee or breakfast. I need to make a call or two to tell people I've been called out of town and you need to make an appearance in Port Chuck so people see you. We don't want Alcazar thinking you've left with me and that you were involved with Skye's disappearance."

Anna agreed "Well he already thinks I am, but I know what you mean." Then she watched him get out of bed, a smile formed on her lips as she admired his physic. There were more scares now but he still looks great.

Robert had brought a few thing out here so he grabbed a change of clothes, Anna had just gotten out of bed when he turned around, he was glad she didn't make an effort to cover herself. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her hips. "There are a few things in the closet that should fit you if you want to change." Anna was feeling playful, so she pushed herself back into him. "Oh is that how you want to play?" and he pulled her even closer.

She let out a seductive little laugh and smiled, "I think we should continue this later, I'll go put the coffee on. I'll change after" Then Anna headed to the stairs when she got to the bottom she still had a grin on her face. She still wasn't sure where this was going but she was enjoying it. When she checked her phone she saw that she had missed two calls from Robin, she was probably wondering about Robert.

Robert came down right after her, he hadn't bothered to change either. "You do that then just walk away is that fair?"

"Leave them wanting more," she said over her shoulder.

Robert admired the view, "You know I want more."

"I'm going to call Robin hopefully I can see her sometime today. You'd be proud, she figured out the message was from you, and that it sounded like you needed a friend, she also knew I'd understood where you'd be."

"That's our girl, though I am glad she didn't follow in our line of work," Robert told her. Anna smiled as she dialed, she couldn't agree more, when Robin picked up they made plans to meet later that afternoon.