Chapter 6

When Anna woke up she was alone in the bed, she stretched and looked around. She smiled when she realized it was morning. They had both fallen asleep before the movie was half over. Robert hadn't woken up at all last night, she was sure that meant he hadn't had any dreams. She could smell coffee and figured Robert must be downstairs. She got up and grabbed her robe before heading downstairs.

Robert was cooking breakfast when Anna came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. "Good morning Luv, sleep well?" he asked

"I did, and so did you. No dreams last night?"

"Not a one, I slept better then I have in weeks." Then he turned to face her, "I owe that to you, thank you for getting me to talk. I needed to get those things out." Then he kissed her cheek.

"I'm glad I could help."

"Anna, you more than helped, I wouldn't have opened up to anyone else like that," Robert admitted. "You know that."

"Yeah I do, I think it was good for me too. When I felt your anger about everything we'd lost, I felt mine grow right along with yours. I was feeling everything you were, maybe not at the same extremes but I'm glad we went through that together."

"I'm so glad I have my friend back, I've really missed you," Robert said sincerely.

"I was always your friend, even when all I wanted to do was smack that smug grin of yours off your face," Anna smiled as she answered.

"You love this face, even when it's being smug, or condescending, or arrogant."

Anna smiled, of course she did. "I love the rest of you too," then she kissed him, "I'll get out of your way so you can finish making my breakfast."

"Is that what I'm doing, will there be enough for you to share with me?" he joked.

"We'll see, I might share if you're lucky," she smiled. They had found their way back to what had always meant so much to her. She trusted him more than anyone else, he was her shoulder to cry on, her partner in crime, they could tell each other everything knowing the other one wouldn't judge them or shut them out. She had missed her friend too.

After they had finished eating, Anna decided she had better make another trip into town. She could pick up a few more thing they might need, and it wouldn't hurt to be seen around Port Charles again. Anna decided she should go talk to Mac, he's concerned about his brother, and she thinks he'll be happy about the progress he made last night. So Anna first stop was police headquarters, when she walked in a detective she thought she recognized came over, "Anna Sc... La... um sorry, what can I do for you?"

Anna smiled clearly she had known him before, "Devane, it's just easier that way. I'm sorry I can't remember your name."

He smiled, "Detective Frank Baker, I joined the force in '89. I was always in awe of how you and Robert would break the cases you worked on. I've never seen a better team."

"Thank you, we do work well together," Anna said with a smile. "I'm actually here to see his brother. Is Mac here?"

"Yeah the commissioner should be in his office, I'll show you in."

Anna thanked him after he'd shown her in, "Hi Mac, I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"You? Never. What can I do for you?" Mac asked and offered her a seat.

"It's more what I can tell you," Anna told him.

"Is it Robert? Is he OK?" Mac asked realizing just how worried he was about him now.

"Robert's fine, I wanted to give you a bit of an update. I went out and saw him again last night."

"What's he doing to deal with his anger?" Mac interrupted.

"We're talking. You know your brother, he doesn't open up, or talk about his feelings."

"Yeah and now it's like he's double the security."

"Yes." Anna agreed. "He's hurting a lot more then he's letting on and that's making him more annoying than normal, trying to keep people at arm's length. When we're completely alone we both let the walls down, we have always trusted each other, and I think we're both tired of holding things in. When it's just us, I'm with the man I've always known."

"You are doing better about letting people in Anna I don't feel like you're holding back," Mac told her. "I had no idea."

"I don't with you really. With some people it's easy, other's I'm very guarded with, and there are some things I just don't talk about at all because it just hurts too much." Anna saw the look of understanding on Mac's face, and she knew he wasn't going to push for more information. "I got Robert to talk about his dreams a bit more last night. That lead to talking about some of the anger his dealing with and then the sadness under it all. I went on an emotional rollercoaster with him, but when it was done I could feel a change in him."

"Anna, that's good right, can I know what you talked about?" Mac asked.

"I won't go into many details because I just couldn't handle that. I was a wreck right alongside him," Anna admitted. "You met me when Robert and I were just getting back together, but he was my best friend for years before that. We came back into each other's lives in '85, after that he was always there if I needed him. Robin was a big part of that, but we both knew we needed the other one in our life. Last night I found out that the dreams are about his fear of losing me again, he's terrified actually."

"Wait, are you two back together?" Mac asked.

"That's not what I'm saying, we need each other in our lives. There's an important part missing when I don't have him as my friend. Do you understand?" Anna asked.

"I think so."

"We talked about his anger, he knows there's more than one source. Last night we talked about the personal anger, that was what set him off when you two were talking. Listening to him talk about the cause of it, I'm angry about the same things, but I had at least talked about it before, Robert has held it all in. The anger and sadness go hand in hand because it's really all because of the same things." Anna lowered her face not wanting Mac to see the tears in her eyes.

Mac watched her, he realized there really was only one thing it could be. "Everything that has happened to the both of you and that you never got to have your life together," Mac said understandingly. "Robin told me about how you two met and fell in love, even about the first wedding, she didn't know the entire reason for your break up but knew it had to do with your jobs with the WSB. She also told me about Luv and Robby and how happy she was when she found they were actually her parents. I saw the second act first hand, your love story in one of the most tragic I have ever witnessed." Mac had come around his desk and held out a box of tissues for her.

Anna took a tissue and wiped away the tears, "Thanks," was all she could say though.

When he thought Anna was ready to talk again Mac asked, "Do you think that talk might have helped already?"

"Well, he didn't have any nightmares last night," Anna told him.

"Yeah but he might just say that so you're not worried," Mac suggested.

"No, I know he didn't."

"Anna, we both know Robby, he would say what he thinks you want to hear so you wouldn't worry."

Anna sighed, "Mac I'm telling you I know he didn't, OK." Mac just looked at her, she could tell he still wasn't sure. After a short silence, Anna added, "I've spent the last two nights in his arms, I sure."

Mac was a little taken aback by what she had just said. "Wait you said you weren't back together, but you're sleeping together."

"Yes, sleeping." Anna wasn't sure how much she could say about Robert's dreams but Mac was his brother. "He's dreaming about Faison taking me, present day me. His dreams bring up a fear that comes out as anger. I agreed to stay with him so he would know I was OK if he had any nightmares."

Mac could see she wasn't really comfortable talking about this. "This is part of you helping him then?"

"Yes," Anna really hoped he'd let it go.

"You don't want to talk about this do you?" Mac asked.

"No I don't, some of the things Robert has told me I don't feel comfortable sharing even if you are his brother, I'm sorry"

"No, I shouldn't have pushed." Mac knew she was doing what he'd asked her to and decided to change the subject, they talked about Maxie and Georgie for a while then Anna said she had few other things to do, and that she should let him get back to work.

After Anna left she found herself at General Hospital, she didn't really know why she had gone there but once she was there Anna was happy that Robin was one of the first people she saw. Anna walked right over to her and hugged her. When Anna released her, Robin looked a little confused, "Hi mom, what are you doing here?"

"I don't know, actually. I had gone to talk to Mac and after I left him I was going to do a little shopping but I ended up here instead. I guess I needed to see you."

"I'm always happy to see you, and I am just about to take my lunch break. Want to join me?" Robin asked.

"That would be nice." They left together and had a nice lunch. Anna knew Robin was dealing with a lot of her own issues and didn't want her worried about her father as well. Anna told her she felt Robert was making a good start dealing with his feeling but didn't say anything else about it. They talked about Patrick and how things were going. He was still struggling with the uncertainty of the next few months, waiting to take his next test. Anna realized she had just needed to see Robin and had unconsciously gone to find her. "I'm glad I found you, I think I just needed to spend some time with you today. Seeing your beautiful face just brightens everything for me. I think I needed to recharge." Anna hadn't meant to bring up what was going on back at the cottage but Robin seemed to understand this has something to do with just that.

"How's dad doing?" Robin asked.

"Good actually, last night was just very emotionally draining on both of us," Anna answered. "I know more about his dreams and why he gets so angry, more about what happened while we were dead, but I'm not ready to talk about it."

Robin understood what she meant, Anna had told her about the conversation they'd had the first night she had seen him. Robin was still been mad but realized he believed they were both in real danger and didn't have a choice. She knows that when Anna's ready she will tell her about this conversation as well, but right now she's still trying to process it herself. "So did anything else interesting happen last night?" Robin hinted trying to lighten up the conversation.

"No, after we'd talked we had a late dinner then fell asleep watching a movie," Anna told her. It seemed odd to be talking to Robin about this, but it reminded her of the little girl who had been so interested in whether or not her parents would get back together and make them the family she had always dreamed of. "I had no idea how much I actually missed Robert until I saw him again."

"I've noticed little changes in you the longer you and dad have both been here. Him being here makes you happy doesn't it?"

"I'm happy he's alive, having him close by is just a bonus," Anna admitted with a smile.

"So nothing last night, what about this morning?" Robin asked with a big grin.

Anna couldn't help but smile back. "We aren't there yet. Like I said we got carried away yesterday. I'm not sure we'll ever get there. Right now he just really needs his friend."

"Growing up that's one of the things I always loved about the two of you. How much you cared about each other. When things went south you had each other to lean on." Robin told her.

"Yeah," Anna smiled, "sometimes too much." Anna thought back at all the times she'd overheard the whispers wondering if anything was going on between them or just being told she still loved Robert, people always seemed to believe there was something going on between them.

"I want you to know that whatever happens after this, I just want you both to be happy." Robin glanced at her watch and realized she had to get back to the hospital. "Give him my love, but I have to go. See you soon," and just like that Robin was gone. With a smile, Anna went off to run the errands she had meant to earlier.

...

Robert had decided to take a walk down by the lake, he was still a little raw after last night's confessional. It felt so good to finally say out loud what he had held inside, just letting it eat away at him. He knew if not for Anna he never would have either. He was sure of Anna, he knew he could tell her anything. There was now a need to have answers to some of his question about what Anna had actually gone through. Anna said she didn't remember the photos being taken or any of that happening to her. So what does she remembers, if anything about that time, or after the WSB losing her and her being found? He wanted to know about the daughter she'd lost, that couldn't have been easy for her, the danger she said she had been in. Then there was Faison, there was only one question that he really needs the answer to, but he has to ask it and Robert's not sure he actually can. When Robert heard a car approach he started making his way back to the house, he'd lost track of time but he knew that would be Anna.

Robert was glad that only Anna knew where he was. When she would leave for the day he had time to think, today he had thought a lot about last night's conversation. When he met her at the car Robert could tell she'd had a good day, there was a positive energy about her. Robert was sure Anna needed the time away as much as he needed the time alone. "Hi. You saw Robin today," he said then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Anna smiled, "Hi, grab those bags please, and yes I did. Insightfulness is definitely a Scorpio trait."

"You should know that about me by now," Robert said with a smile.

"You and your brother and your daughter," Anna smiled back. "I'm not complaining, it's easier when I don't have to say everything, that you all just understand." While they walked back to the cottage, Anna told him about her conversation with Mac. Robert was glad Anna was keeping him informed, he knew Mac cared about him. They had just finished putting things away when Anna started talking about seeing Robin. "Robin sends her love." Robert smiled hearing that. "She asked about 'us'," Anna told him.

"She knows how we feel about each other, of course, she wants to know," Robert said. "What did you say?"

"That we aren't there yet. I could see that 13 year old girl looking for answers."

"Answers we don't have, yet." Robert finished for her.

"Yeah yet. Where were you coming from when I got here?" Anna asked changing the subject. There'd be a time to talk about them later.

"I was walking down by the lake, trying to clear my head," he told her.

"Did it work?"

"I think it helped, I know I'm still angry, but now I have a better understanding of why and that it's OK that it upset me," Robert admitted. "I've told you and I could tell you were angry about the same things. If you can deal with it, then I know I can."

"I had people to talk to, I was dealing with everything I had remembered, I didn't have a choice I had to deal with my memories the good the bad and what I'd lost all at the same time." Anna unconsciously touched his face as she spoke. "If I hadn't I'm sure I'd be in the same shape as you."

"I'd like to know more about that, about all of it actually," Robert told her. "I know I can't change any of it now but I want to know just the same. I'd understand if you don't want to talk about it."

Anna thought she understood why he was asking. Of course, he'd have questions about her. "Can it wait till later? I could use a little downtime."

"Of course it can, do you want to be alone?"

"No, I want you here. I'm just not ready for our next ride on the emotion roller coaster," Anna told him.

Robert smiled, she was right he probably wasn't ready either. Robert wanted to take her in his arms, but that would just lead to one more thing they aren't ready to deal with. He wanted her, every time they kissed he burnt with desire for her. He needed to do something, if he put on music, then he'd want to dance with her, hold her close. He wondered over to the kitchen but it was too early to eat so he couldn't busy himself cooking. Not able to figure out what to do with himself, "Want to go for a walk? I still know my way around out here," he asked. Anna thought that was a great idea, and agreed. She could tell Robert needed to do something and a walk in the woods might be just what she needed as well. They didn't talk much while they walked, just a little about what they saw along the way. By the time they got back they were both hungry and set about making dinner. While they ate they talked about old friends and if they knew what they were doing now.

It seemed so easy to just be together. After they'd cleaned up Anna went and sat on the couch. "Robert while I was talking to Robin today I realized something. After the boat explosion, we did die in a sense didn't we? I was lost because of my amnesia, and you couldn't come back."

"Yes in a way, now that I'm back here and I see how life went on without us, I feel that more than ever. It's like waking up from a coma and finding out everything is different now," Robert told her.

"That's the hardest part about being in Port Charles for me, and why I hadn't been back here sooner. Anywhere else the missing time doesn't matter, but being here it's a constant reminder of what I missed out on because of the explosion."

"Neither of us had a life during that time did we, Anna? You were in hiding in the wilderness with no memory and I was a spook, we were in limbo," Robert said then sat down beside her.

"Yeah, I guess we were. Robert can your questions wait until tomorrow, I'm not sure I'm ready for the emotions that will come with them?" Anna asked.

"Yeah, they can wait, especially if that means you'll be here again tomorrow. Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yes, I said I'd stay with you." Anna smiled at him, "I'm enjoying our time alone Robert."

"It's easy when it's just you and me, thank you for being here. I know you don't have to do any of this for me."

"I want to be here for you. I've missed so much and sometimes it just hits me and I want to get away for a while. There are times I just need to be alone, you must feel that way too, but when it just us none of that matter. I want to help you, Robert, I know you would do the same for me.

Robert took her hand, "Anna after we've talked about what you went through while we were apart, will we talk about us?" He loved her and needed her in his life, he knew he wanted a real relationship with her.

"We have to have that talk at some point, and it should be soon. There is too much going on between us not to." Anna knew what she wanted but it scared her. She loved that he was back in her life, but what if she lost him again.

Robert leaned in and kissed her softly, "Come to bed, we can finish watching that movie we started last night. I won't try anything I just want you in my arms again."

Anna didn't make it to the end of the movie but had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. Robert didn't remember the end either, with her in his arms he was content and had drifted off after watching her sleep for a while. That night Robert did wake up, but he didn't think a dream had woken him. Anna was there beside him, he stroked her cheek and smiled. He watched her for a while just happy that she was there with him. Anna had never let him share a bed with her unless they were together before so he hoped there was more to this then just helping him sleep through the night. He moved closer and put his arm around her then drifted back to sleep. In the morning he got up before her again, the temptation was too much to deal with.

When Anna came down he was sitting on the couch drinking coffee. Anna got herself a cup then went to join him. She thought she knew why he had gotten up before her again and was grateful. He wants her as much as she wants him, but she had to tell him everything first. There was a painful secret she had kept all to herself since getting her memory back, the most heartbreaking of all the painful things she had remembered. She didn't know how she was going to tell him but knew she had to. If he still wants to be with her after he knows, Anna knows she will risk her heart to give them a chance.

"Morning Luv," Robert said when she sat down.

"Good morning," Anna leaned over and kissed him. "Do you need anything or want me to bring anything back for you?"

"You," he smiled at her and Anna smiled back, "I don't think there's anything I need. What are you up to today?"

"I actually have plans to go for lunch with Bobbie today, we've talked a few times but not for that long. It'll be nice to get caught up with her."

"So you don't have to leave early today?" Robert didn't know how long they would be staying out here and he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could.

"No, I'm in no rush this morning."

"I was being the no-nonsense agent when I first came back, more of an ass then needed. When Tony died I was heartbroken, but I wouldn't show it. I didn't want anyone to see me being emotional. I have to talk to Bobbie again."

"You never want anyone to see your emotions. You care so much for others but hate that anyone might know you do. I read the report about the outbreak on my way to the Markum Islands, I cried for Tony when I read it," Anna admitted. "Would you like to go for a walk this morning?"

"I'd love to."

...

Anna met Bobbie at the Metro Court, it wasn't always easy meeting with old friends, she was often sad after, but it had started getting easier the longer she was in Port Charles. Slowly she was reconnecting with the people she had once been so close to. They had a wonderful time, Bobbie told her all about her family, Anna had known a little from Robin but loved listening to Bobbie tell her about them. Alcazar came in and saw them, Anna thought that when he looked at her, there was a brief flash of anger in his eyes. She wasn't going to worry about him today, she was enjoying herself.

They sat and talked for close to two hours before Bobbie said she had to leave. Anna decided to go up to her room for a while, she could pick up a few more things to take to the cottage. She had better go to the market as well before heading back. Anna was happy about how the day had gone so far, she'd needed this before they had another emotional conversation later.

...

Robert was having trouble relaxing, he wasn't really upset about anything he just had too much on his mind. He had taken a long shower then gone for another walk but Anna was all he could think about. She should be back before too long, and then they can talk, he would get the answers he needed. He didn't want to rush her, this was a lot for her to deal with and he understood that. First the fact that he was alive, and the reasons behind their separation. Now the feeling they were both working at understanding. He was confused about everything that was going on between them, so he knew Anna had to be as well. Robert had just started pacing when Anna got back.

"Hi hun," Anna said as she walked in. She put down the bag she brought in then turned to him. "How was your afternoon?"

"Hi sweetheart," Robert walked over and hugged her. "It's better now that you're back. Is that all you brought?"

"No there's more in my car including dinner, I assume you still like Chinese take away," Anna said with a smile.

"Oh you are so good to me, of course, I do. Did you have a good day?"

"It was a great visit, come with me we'll get the rest of the stuff from the car." While they did that Anna started telling him about her afternoon.

Once they had put everything away, Anna grabbed plates as Robert took the take-out out of the bag. "Oh, you remembered all my favorites."

"I figured you might be getting tired of being out here so I wanted to do something nice," Anna told him as she came over to the table.

Robert took her arm, "Thank you, Anna," then he kissed her.

While they sat and ate Anna told him more about her day. When he was done eating Robert found himself watching her, as she spoke he noticed the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile. She was so beautiful, he could tell she was happy. He wanted to kiss those lips, run his fingers through her hair.

"Are you listening to me at all?" Anna asked he noticed she was really smiling at him now.

"Um, sorry Luv. You are stunning, and I guess I got a little distracted," he admitted with a smile. "What were you saying?"

Anna got up to clear the table, with a smile she said, "It wasn't important anyway, just something Bobbie had said." He smiled at her then got up to help.

When they were done he got a bottle of wine and went over to the couch. "Do we want a drink for tonight's ride?" Robert asked knowing this could be another emotional night. "I'd like to have that talk now,"

"Yeah that's probably a good idea," Anna answered. She wasn't sure what kind of questions he was going to ask, but she was willing to answer them so a few drinks might make that easier.

Once they both had a glass of wine and were comfortable on the couch Robert had no idea where to start so he asked, "Is there anything you don't want to talk about?"

"Whatever you ask me I will do my best to answer, I don't need to keep things from you," Anna told him, although there was one thing she didn't know if she could ever tell anyone including him.

"I don't know where to start but the easiest place might be what's the first thing you remember after the explosion?" Robert asked.

"There is still a blank period that I don't think I'll ever remember, and that's a few years after the explosion. The first thing I really remember is working with Burt to build our cabin in the woods and living there off the grid. He was sure I was in danger of some kind and that we needed to stay hidden. When I started having seizures, he went and found my sister Alex. She was the one that got me the medical attention I needed. I got treatment while everyone else believed I was her. I was really struggling during that time, I knew there were things I couldn't remember and I was being haunted by what I didn't know. I remember this one time waking up in the hospital and I felt like someone I loved needed me or was in danger, Edmond thought it must have been you I was thinking about, that I needed to save." Anna told him about trying to make sense of the little flashes of the life she couldn't remember and feeling so vulnerable.

He could see the pain in her eyes while she talked, she had gone through so much and lost years of her life because of that explosion. "These seizures must have been a result of the trauma from the explosion, maybe what happened after as well."

"Yes, I hadn't gotten all the medical treatment I had needed, if Burt hadn't gotten Alex when he did I'm not sure I would have survived. Living in that cabin was when I first really remember you being in my head," Anna told him.

"So was it after you had recovered that you started looking into your past?" Robert continued.

"After I knew my name was Anna Devane yes. I wanted to remember my life but it was like it was just out of reach. The woman that had raised Alex, our aunt Charlotte had been brainwashing her and was actually planning to use her to replace me. So Alex had some memories that she didn't understand because they were actually mine, like the fact I had a daughter," Anna explained. "I found out about the explosion that we were both believed to have died in, about being married to Duke. My life as an agent, a police chief, private detective. My husband, the man I had lost in the explosion. I had these facts but still couldn't remember any of it."

Robert couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. Reading about your own life but not remembering any of it. "You said you remembered Robin first, then after reading my letter you remembered me and everything else." Anna nodded that he was right. "You truly believed I was dead after that?"

"Yes, I still don't know how you survived," Anna told him. "After being apart for so long when I saw you I thought my nightmare was finally over. Then there was that blast and you were gone, you had been so close to it when it happened."

"The WSB, they set off the explosion and when I was thrown into the water broken from the blast they fished me out. You're right if they hadn't been right there I would have died that night," Robert said.

"I remembered that I saw you, and I knew you couldn't have survived,"Anna told him. "It was so odd getting my memory back. I finally knew who I was, but I also knew all that I had lost. I put on a strong front, but my heart broke when I remembered losing you. I loved you so much but I hadn't even remembered you, it was all so cruel."

"I don't know what would be worse, know what I had lost for all those years or the slap in the face of suddenly remembering when you were so happy, and realizing you'd never getting that back." Robert couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. "So it was after your memory was completely back that you got together with David Hayward right?"

"Yes," Anna knew he would ask about David.

"I know about your daughter Leora, and I am so sorry for your loss. Why didn't you two stay together?"

"There was just too much wrong with that relationship, I couldn't stay, everything just keep going against us," Anna said.

"What were some of those problems?" Robert pushed for more information.

"David would keep things from me, I don't think I ever really knew all about his past or the things he had done or was still doing. It was a lot like being with Duke all over again, there was love but the trust wasn't there. He was exciting though and the sex was good." Anna said then quickly regretted it.

"What kind of things was he keeping from you?" Robert went on, he couldn't be upset that she had a sex life, he knew they had been married.

"Well, the biggest one was when I found out David had held Edmond Grey's wife prisoner for years. He was my brother in law, the one that first talked to Robin. When I met him he was raising his two young children on his own. David had drugged his wife Maria and kidnapped her. He had torn apart their family just like ours had been. I was done I walked away but then I found out I was pregnant and I was just so scared. It took some time but we did get back together." Robert noticed her glass was empty and refilled it. "Oh thank you," Anna took a big sip then Robert filled it back up again.

"Was there problems with the pregnancy because of the miscarriage and trama you'd had with Duke's child?" Robert asked next.

"No, I was high risk because of that, but Leora had health issues of her own, even while I was still pregnant." Anna could feel the tears coming but wanted to get this out. "I had to go to a specialist in Switzerland to have fetal surgery on Leora's heart. It didn't go as planned and we both almost died."

Robert had no idea about any of this, he could see the pain she was in just talking about it. "We don't have to talk about this if it's too hard for you."

"No it's OK, I'm always emotional when I think about the babies I've lost," Anna told him. She's going to have to tell him. "After she was born Leora needed another surgery, David didn't want it, but I made the decision to go ahead with it. Leora didn't make it." Robert pulled her close, she was already against his chest when her first sob escaped her lips. He let her cry not wanting to rush her, Anna had done the same for him. When she had run out of tears she stayed close to him, his arm still around her shoulder. "I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant again. I just knew it would end badly no matter how much I hoped it wouldn't."

"It had been years since you'd lost Duke's baby and there had been so much progress made in that area you shouldn't have been so worried." Robert tried to comfort her.

"Yeah, it had been years since my first miscarriage," Anna told him. Robert heard what she said but wasn't sure he'd understood, if there had been another why hadn't she told him about it. When had this happened? Anna saw the confusion on his face but couldn't find her voice. Anna closed her eyes tightly and put her head back on his shoulder. Robert wrapped his arms around her again. Then she whispered, "I'm so sorry."

What was she sorry about, what was she trying to tell him? Then it hit him like a ton of bricks, and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He was after Duke, his voice shock "No! Anna no."

"I didn't know," Anna started but a sob stopped her.

"Oh Anna," Robert held her tighter.

"I didn't know. I was already his prisoner when I found out," she cried. "I lost our baby only a few weeks before you found me, before the explosion. If I'd had medical attention or not been under such stress..."

"Anna please, don't do this to yourself." Robert wanted to take her pain away but at the same time, he felt his heartbreaking for the child he'd never known about. He looked her in the eyes "We can't change any of this now, don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you've done that enough." The question he didn't want to ask had come, but how does he ask it. "Anna did... when you... did he," Robert tried but he could find the way to ask. Then he just blurted out, "Did he rape you?"

"No, he didn't. He tried but I was always able to fight him off."

"That bastard," he hissed "Did he know you were pregnant?" Robert needed to know this now, had Faison known and caused her to lose their baby. His anger was there, bubbling up to the surface.

"He might have but I don't know for sure, not until I miscarried."

"Was he, was Faison the cause?" Robert hated to think of Faison lying a hand on her, was she fighting him off when it happened.

Anna felt his tension, he was starting to lose control. Had it been a good idea to tell him after all? He had to know and it's better that they're alone when he did find out. "Take a few deep breaths, I need you to stay calm."

"Anna, was he," he paused, "were you fighting him off when you lost our baby?" he demanded.

He was already angry so she might as well tell him, "Yes."

Robert wanted to scream, to throw things, to break things. Then he got up and walked over and grabbed the bottle of bourbon. He had already downed his first glass when he felt Anna's hand on his back. He put the glass back down and hung his head, he knew getting drunk wasn't the answer. "I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you about this. I've never told anyone about this before. No one," she said from behind him.

Robert was still upset but it wasn't Anna he was upset with and she needed him right now. Robert turned and took her in his arms. "I'm sorry Luv." They just held each other in silence. Robert wanted to ease her pain, wants her to know it was OK but he didn't know what to do. Nothing he could say was going to help, this had been her secret for years. "Come sit with me." Anna didn't say anything, but she went with him. Robert realized he wasn't angry now, it had been replaced by pain and sadness.

Robert was surprised when Anna curled up on his lap when he sat down. He put his arms around her and she snuggled in as close as she could get. Unlike the other night, he didn't feel better, his head was spinning. She had been through so much, Faison had done this to her. He could have lost her so many times while they were apart. He just sat holding her, after a while Robert though Anna might have fallen asleep on him, she had barely moved since they sat down. Then she lifted her head, he could see the sadness in her eyes. He gently touched her face, "Thank you for telling me. I know that wasn't easy."

"You deserved to know and I needed to tell you," Anna said. "No one else needs to know, please."

"We don't have to tell anyone if that's what you want," Robert reassured her.

It was his turn to take care of her tonight. He moved to the edge of the couch still holding her, then stood up. He carried her upstairs and laid her on the bed, as he walked around to the other side Anna got under the covers. Robert didn't bother getting changed he took off his shirt then got into bed with her. "Hold me," she said, Anna needed to feel secure, she hadn't expected telling him to hurt this much.