Seriously, what is going on here?

I stand stunned, watching my best friend Riku walk confidently in front of me. When I heard him laughing…saw him smile…when he'd touched my shoulder… A hot wave swept into my belly.

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with me?

I shake my head and begin to follow him, realize I'm smiling, quickly stop it. Things are getting weird…something has to be wrong with me!

"Hurry up, Sora, or we'll be late for class!" Riku calls up ahead.

Why do I feel so feverish every time he speaks? The weird feelings have been springing up since the winter. But this morning when I was waking up, in-between sleep and awake…and I had imagined Riku…and me…together.

Oh my god, I must be going insane!

I put my hand to my head, disbelieving my own thoughts. No! Something has to be wrong. Riku is my best friend - he's like a big brother to me! I'm just…I'm just really close to him, that's all.

Just really close.

But Riku can tell everything about me. What if he knows I feel weird like this around him? Then he might think I like him, or something creepy like that! That would just be awkward because I don't like him in a weird way. He's my best friend. Just good buddies. But what if he found out I was thinking about him? That I think about him a lot? Then he would think that I was…

Oh, Jesus Christ!

He would hate me! He wouldn't even want to look at me ever again! And it would all be pointless because I'm not…!

Each step seems to take me a minute; I feel like I'm pushing my body and mind through thick mush. I have to figure this out…Riku is important to me and I don't ever want to lose him.

How do I explain the way my heart soars when I'm around him? When I'm with him, it's like I'm airborne. Nothing else matters but his smile. And why do I feel like I'm dissolving when he touches me? When he simply puts his hand on my shoulder or bumps into me, I melt like butter. Friends feel like this around their friends…right?

But no one understands him like I do – they just see a cold, serious shell, but I know he's thoughtful and witty and loyal. And…and I feel like he belongs with me.

So, what is it? Is there something wrong with me inside? Or am I…do I…

I close my eyes and sigh. Do I like Riku? I don't know…I just don't know…

Riku turns around, his silver hair falling into his eyes. "Sora, hurry it up, slow-poke!" He stops and his eyes glint with pleasure. He gives a mocking smile. "And what's with the hang-dog expression? Something bothering you?"

I smile slightly. "Nothings wrong anymore," I whisper.

Now, I know.