Chapter 16 Fallen Angel

Once there was an angelic being who simply appeared one day. She had horns, one of those dresses that make the men all crazy, long black hair, high heels, and a halo. It never occurred to me that she was an angel with devil horns. I suppose that it was rather ironic. People would have expected us to be bitter rivals. Well, I wanted to be bitter rivals, but apparently, that was out of the question. She wanted something a whole lot different. That's why I shouldn't have let her too close. Perhaps, I could have talked Joey out of it. Talked Joey out of making her in the first place. It might have been more her fault that my past memories are all very dull and vague. The ones I do remember are rather horrific or, at least, very irritating. Why do I hold a grudge against this angel? Because she was meant to be my in-show love interest.

-Flashback-

"Honestly, Bendy darling, why do you have to be so distant? I thought that you loved meeting new people! Joey told me that you'd always complain about there being a lack of new characters in your show! I'd think you'd be more grateful for my appearance!" her sharp, yet soothing tongue told me.

Her tricks to try to get me to notice her in the way she was thinking never really worked. I could act and play the part of the potential lover, but I never really felt anything for her. Those good-looks never got so much as even a thought of how pretty she was from me. Because she wasn't. I knew she was secretly a monster.

"Get off my back, Alice. I act. That's my job. You're just a side character in this whole thing," I replied without any hesitation. I speak my mind most of the time. I couldn't stand her. An angel trying to appeal to a demon? Coming to think of it now, it seems rather hypocritical.

"Awwww… You don't seem to understand how my popularity is overtaking yours by a long-shot. People listen to me sing and dance! People listen to me and love me! The only way for you to get any more popular than you already are and possibly get back to your number one spot is to marry me!" she told me one day.

What?

What?

WHAT?

What could that possibly mean?! Is she implying something?! Had Joey told her something that I didn't know about yet? That did happen a lot. He knew I hated her. Whenever they had planned a romance scene or episode, they rarely ever tell me about it. Probably because I throw things at them if they do. Last time he told me, I lobbed a dictionary at Joey's face. I performed for one person. And it wasn't Alice.

"Oh, that's nice to know. I'm betrothed to someone I don't even like. Isn't that nice?" I asked secretly burning in my own skin. I hated Joey. I hated him for making her. I hated him for doing this to me. I hated him because he knew I really liked his granddaughter.

"I know! It's great, right?" She saw my unimpressed face and realized that I was being sarcastic and not enthusiastic about my job. "Look, Bendy. I love you. And it's your job to love me. So far, the romance and dancing is the only thing keeping this show alive at this point. People don't care about the characters. People don't care about our hardships. So, Joey told me that we have to become a couple! That's the way things are!" she told me.

What are they trying to do? Brainwash me into believing that there was nothing else to do but follow orders?! ME?! Hardly. I stood to my feet with annoyance. She didn't have to keep reminding me of my steady decline in popularity. To be honest, I don't think it's because of Alice. I'm pretty sure it's because of that rival company who also does cartoons. Some dumb mouse I think. Hah. Well, maybe if they succeed, I'll finally be able to stop playing the in love (but not really in love) cartoon devil. That would certainly be quite a relief actually.

But then… I wouldn't be able to perform for her anymore.

Boris always just tells me to stick it out to the bitter end whether if I like it or not. I don't like it, but I don't want her to go away. That gleam in her eyes is enough to keep me putting up with this woman who's trying to make me believe that there's no way out of this. Heh. Well, I was sure that there was a way to get rid of the cartoon angel. I just haven't thought of it yet.

-Flash forward-

"Sammy, can you write us some music for the episode, please?! We're running behind on the schedule!" I heard Joey yell at the music director back when he was a music director.

The tall dark-haired man glared at Joey. "What makes you think I want to write a song for this?! You know how much I dislike this couple. Bendy and Alice just aren't my thing, okay?" he retorted bitterly.

"You will do it, Sammy. If you don't, I won't give you your month's worth of pay."

Sammy gave in and snatched the script from Joey. "Fine… I'll see what I can do…"

A time after this incident…

I could see Sammy sitting at his desk gnashing his teeth together at the sappy words he was writing. I could hear his grumbles from the cardboard cutout I was hiding in at the time. "He'd never say this… I just can't see it… I just don't want to see it!" he snapped at the paper.

It was probably the only time in my life that I had ever actually felt bad for him. I'd be screaming the same things if I had to write a stupid song about my not-girlfriend. At this point in time, he wasn't nearly that bad. Just a little weird and really grouchy. I liked him the best when he hated me the most.

"Why does my life have to consist of this? Joey should just shut down this place. I swear…," Sammy grumbled.

Alice: I see the demons of the past fly by.

It makes me wonder about you.

Why oh why

Does it have to be you?

Bendy: I know you're from the stars, fallen angel

But still, I see someone who

Smiles at me.

Did it have to be you?

Both: And now I see the limelight

With a completely different view.

And now I see the starlight

Shining down on you.

For the last light of the world

Will never ever die.

And…

(romantic music stops)

Sammy: ALICE ANGEL NEEDS TO DIIIIIIIIIIE!

Me too, Sammy. Me too. I'm pretty sure my life would've turned out better if I hadn't heard that song, though. The main issue that I have with this is that everyone who watches it is going to love it. Except (y/n)...

Each time there's an Alice x Bendy episode, her usual hopefulness simply dies instantly and she looks extremely irritated. If not irritated, she gets this somewhat tired look. It bugs me. It bugs Boris. Sometimes it even bugged Henry. It never bugged Alice. Maybe I'd like her more if she actually showed that she had a heart. Whenever Alice walked onto the set, it was almost like (y/n)'s mind would click off and she simply wouldn't care anymore.

I didn't want that.

But, would you be surprised if I told you that I wasn't the one who killed Alice? Well, I wasn't. It was Sammy who originally did it. He was the one who planted my second worst fear in my head. The first fear is an unprepared confrontation with a love interest. Sammy was the first to figure out how to do it. He discovered how to kill a toon.

It was in the projector room on a certain Tuesday. Joey was trying to get me to do an entire Alice x Bendy episode from memory. It was called 'Torrents of Love' or something dumb like that. I didn't know the title was going to be a coincidence. Apparently, Sammy was running entirely on coffee the entire day. He had a large mug in his hand with my face on it and he looked exhausted. Another all-nighter writing music. When you don't get sleep, you learn to hate your job really fast. He was slumped over in a chair right next to the projector with his coffee raised to his lips.

Joey was about to give us the go to start, but that was when it happened. Sammy yawned. He stretched back and accidentally dropped the mug on the projector and knocked it over. Frantic, Joey sprang to save it, but it was too late. I had no idea what had happened. The first thing I saw was Joey about to tell me to start and then I was doing barrel rolls in the projector! The coffee mug smashed onto the ground into a million pieces and the black liquid lapped at our feet. Alice looked to me hoping I'd have an answer, but I didn't know what to do. The world around our feet became soggy and wet when I noticed it happen. My arm was melting.

The moments after were a blur. I could hear Joey screaming and the hot coffee spreading around us. Alice was trying not to look as scared as I was. How could you blame me?! My arm was melting! I was up against the projector wall having a panic attack. The world sort of swirled together in an ocean of coffee and ink. I was supposed to be the one who got turned into a melted blob of sticky blackness. But no. I was miraculously spared. It was Alice who got the worst fate a toon could ever ask for. Hence, why she is a tragedy.

"Bendy…? What's… happening?!" she squeaked in terror. I barely noticed over my own freaking out, but soon I was more terrified of her. Her entire body began to slowly distort itself and her face was slowly shifting. Ink flooded her eyes and ran down her cheeks making her look like she had used too much mascara and had cried for fifteen hours. Her halo fell into the ink-stained coffee and I couldn't even recognize it was Alice anymore. I shivered and felt tears of fear well up into my eyes. It was horrifying. I was watching her slowly melt right in front of me.

"JOEY! SAVE ME! Henry! Sammy! Boris! I don't care who! Just get me out of here!" I screamed frantically as I shoved myself closer to the corner of the wall.

The ink creature that was once Alice lunged at me as if making a final attempt to do something to save itself. It narrowly missed crashing into me and splattered onto the wall. Everything in me lurched viciously at the sight. I felt nauseous. What was only moments felt like hours. The ink splotch on the side of the inside of the projector slowly oozed off of the wall and rested with the blackness still threatening to kill me with the same dire fate.

Henry lifted up the projector and gave the thing a good shake. Coffee and ink sloshed out. My heart really felt like it was going to explode. I clung to that wall like it was my life. I couldn't leave the projector unless if they put a cardboard cutout of me into the room for me to inhabit. I was alive and that was all that mattered. I guess the same statement couldn't be made for Alice… She was gone.

"What the heck happened? Did something happen that I didn't know about?" Sammy growled at Joey who was shaking in terror at what could have happened. The dark-haired, sleep deprived music director actually didn't know I was alive at the time and assumed nothing had happened. Henry also didn't know about Joey's plans for me. Neither of them knew. Makes me wonder if it would have been better if Joey had told them about me.

Joey stared at Sammy like he was an idiot. His face swelled red with anger at Sammy. While the music director pondered his mistake, Henry peeked into the projector. His mind was then blown. "J-Joey…? W-What is this?!" he demanded.

He saw me. Shaking with horror on the reel in the projector. My arm half melted and terror written on my face. Henry's blonde hair swished with energy and his ink-stained vest slowly rose up and down from his now heavy breaths. Well, Joey, the cat's out of the bag.

Henry immediately dropped the projector on the ground and shook his head thinking it was all an illusion. Joey dove to pick it up and due to falling on the ground again, I was face flat on the bottom of the image on the reel. "Bendy?!" Joey cried.

"Y-Yeah?" I squeaked.

"Oh, thank goodness you are okay! Where's Alice?" he asked seeming a little more relieved. It was only for a mere moment.

I slowly explained what had happened to her. Joey's face became grim, but for some reason, he didn't seem all too sad about it. He nodded to himself. "Well, if that's the case, then I guess we'll just have to redraw her…"

"Do you have to…? I mean, after something like that, I don't think I can handle seeing her back. Besides, you know how much I didn't like her…," I mumbled in response. Joey nodded slowly.

Sammy snatched the projector from Joey's hands and looked at me. He didn't seem to be feeling any remorse at the time, but thinking about it now, he did have a hint of regret in his eyes. Or maybe I was just imagining it. Sammy rarely ever felt anything back then. "So, that's it… That's what all of your hard work and dedication has been for. Why didn't you tell all the other animators and staff that the toons were alive, huh?! Maybe then they would have stayed!"

Joey lifted up a piece of paper with a picture of me on it. I was able to inhabit the ink on the paper and walk around as a 2D image on it. Henry was stunned and Sammy simply glared at Joey.

"It was supposed to be a more… personal project," he replied.

"You know what, I don't care anymore, Joey! I don't care if the toons are alive or not! You all can geek out over it if you want, but I'm just going to act like you hadn't told me that. If you had told me that Bendy was alive when I first started this, then maybe I'd be a little more excited about my job!" Sammy snapped. He stormed out of the room in a fit of rage. It was a pretty good argument. I'd be thinking the same thing if I were in his shoes.

Henry ignored the grouchy Sammy Lawrence. He peered at me with interest. Taking the paper into his hands and inspecting it, he nodded with amusement. "Hello, Bendy!" he chirped happily.

Oh no. He's not about to try to make me happy after what I had been through. I ignored him. Well, I would have if he didn't start drawing on the paper beside me. It was an ice cream cone. I lifted the ice cream with curiosity.

"You can speak?" Henry inquired.

"Yeah. What's this?" I asked.

"It's ice cream! You eat it!" Henry replied.

I licked the thing. It tasted okay. "Lacks in flavor. I'm sure that ink ice cream cones don't taste much different from every other ink food item," I told Henry as if I were critiquing his work. He nodded slowly.

"I never thought of that…," he mumbled. Quickly, he thrust the paper into Joey's hands and went loping away as if he had a brilliant idea. I blinked with confusion.

"Well, they were certainly something," I told Joey.

"Indeed…," he sighed.

-Back to the Present-

I blinked in the darkness that was the animation studio. It was an interesting story that explains a lot of things. Never again will I ever hope to see Alice again. Good riddance.

"I have to wonder… What would have changed if there wasn't a tragedy to ruin everything?"

"Huh?" a voice called.

"Nothing that you need to worry about. Just me talking to myself like a crazy person," I answered her as if being a crazy person was normal.

"Bendy, you are a crazy person. However, that's okay. I talk to myself too."

She always knew how to make me feel better about myself. Unlike Alice. Who didn't even try. I had this bittersweet feeling. Gone insane earlier and now I'm here? It felt wrong like there was some sort of gap in the plot. How could pieces fall together like this?

"Well, your eyes are awfully distant all of the sudden," she told me.

"Kinda hard to remain in the present when reminiscing on an emotionally scarring backstory."

"That's hardly a reason!" she replied.

"Fine then! I'll just have to tell you an emotionally scarring frontstory!" I joked.

"What does that even mean?"

"I have no idea…"

She laughed at my backward grammar. I kinda knew she would. What's not ridiculous about an emotionally scarring frontstory? What even is a frontstory? How is it supposed to be emotionally scarring if you don't even know what it is? It didn't really matter. I shifted closer to her.

She yawned a little. "This floor is hard. I don't like it," she complained.

"Same," I answered.

"Did Boris leave on one of his "never-ending expeditions" again?"

"Probably… I wouldn't be surprised."

"What about Sammy?"

"I couldn't care any less about Sammy. He can just stay wherever he is right now."

I could tell she didn't think that was a very good idea. She was right. Leaving Sammy alone for a long period of time was bad. That's not what I'm going to think about.

"I'm tired…," she finally said.

"I can understand that."

"I'm just gonna fall asleep. Right here. On the floor."

"Okay."

"Good night, Bendy."

"Sweet dreams, (y/n)."

"Maybe this time I'll dream about you."

"What? You didn't dream about me last time?" I asked acting like I was offended.

"Or the night before that. Or the night before that. Or the night before that," she answered cheekily.

"Oh no, I feel, like, so rejected and stuff."

"But really, I should get some shut-eye. You can do whatever because I know you don't need sleep. Unlike Joey, I don't forget I'm human. Good night for real, Bendy."

She curled up on the floor and instantly her breaths steadied out into a slow, rhythmical pattern. It was amazing how fast she fell asleep. It was a long day. I was the one who made it so long. But I remember thinking something to myself earlier. About not being a toon anymore.

But if I'm not a toon, what am I?

Well, if I'm not acting my feelings on a screen anymore, if I'm being sincere with myself, if I'm no longer this flawless creation for everyone's entertainment, if I have actual freedom to live and think for myself, does that make me, in a way, human? Maybe once that would have been an insult to me, but now? That very well may be the new twisted truth. I couldn't help but wonder if Alice would've considered herself human if she were here in a situation like this.

No. Probably not.

"Human, huh? That's certainly a thought."