Gilligan's completed diary entry of the beach scene with allusions to other episodes. Thanks for reading.
WITH A SLIGHTLY LESS POUNDING HEAD…
The Skipper says the only time I open my mouth is to switch feet. Heck if I was that flexible I woulda limbo danced under Duke's arm instead of running into it. I guess he really means I say the wrong thing at the wrong time and I did it again lying there at Duke's feet.
I could say my brains were scrambled but that's pretty much my normal state. It was more a combination of wanting to be liked by Duke and the fact that I ran into him that made me look up and say, "Did I hurt you?"
Looking back my standard "I'm sorry!" woulda been a better choice. I'm usually good for a half dozen of those a day anyway, but it's too late now.
Duke shook his head and rolled his eyes. I heard girl's laughter and this time I was sure Mary Ann was part of it. Still when Duke bent down to help me up I thought things would be OK. Boy was I wrong…again. Duke grabbed me under the arms, but when he got me to the point I could stand I just kept going, like I was wearing a jetpack- you know, if such a thing existed. He didn't stop till he was holding me over his head and saying something about the wind and a fistfulla hammers.
Finally he put me down kinda hard, but he was smiling so I smiled too until I noticed him looking down at his left arm and making a fist. Back on the playground at home Fatso Flanagan and the other guys called it "making a muscle". They used to do it to show off for girls or prove who was strongest, but none of them ever had a muscle like Duke. Not even close.
It wasn't just that Duke had the biggest muscle I'd ever seen, it was that until then I never thought one could get that size. At first I thought he somehow inserted a coconut into his arm then I realized I never saw a coconut that huge on the island. I guess my mouth dropped open and my eyes got wide because after admiring his muscle for a second Duke looked at me and his smile grew wider. Or maybe that was because Ginger made a sound like she'd had the breath knocked out of her- sucking in air and letting out an "oooo". Then I heard another voice and the pain went from head to my heart in an instant. "Ooohh…amazing!" cried Mary Ann and I knew I was sunk.
Duke strutted across the beach and started exercising while the girls watched going all "wow" and "ahh" and stuff. I decided to compare my own muscle but I knew it wasn't going to go well. Back on the playground the only one I beat was Skinny Mulligan and he weighed only 80 pounds in High School and had arms like pipe cleaners…and the others still said it was close.
I made a muscle but instead of a boulder like Duke I got something that looked like a dying fish on the deck of the Minnow. I asked it to do something but all it did was flop once and lie there.
Then it got even worse. I didn't want them to think I just came there to hang out with them so I started pretending I was looking for Skipper. I asked if anyone had seen him but no one seemed to hear. Duke kept exercising and the girls just stared up at him the way Skipper looks at the 48 ounce steak when we go for the Wednesday Early Bird Special at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. I even made a Skipper fat joke which along with my impressions of the Howells and Professor always had the girls laughing when we were at the beach…but nothing, just more grunting from Duke and sighing from the girls. I took one last look at Mary Ann ignoring me and then skulked away.
At first I thought of running off and living in a cave, but decided I'd save that for something more serious…like if all my hair fell out or something. Instead I went to the Professor's. He said he could help the pain in my head but not in my heart. Before I left he said something like "If you can't join 'em beat 'em" or "If you can't beat her join him" or something. I think I finally figured out what he meant.
I have a plan…and it's sure to get me back in with Duke and the girls! I'll write the results later…
