A/N! Hey there! I finished my exam period today, and I think I have done well! So, I finished the chapter and here it is! But I have no idea if you have enjoyed the last chapter, but I hope that you did! :-)
So, I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter as well!
No special warning for this chapter, there is no torture this time. Only wincest!
Special thanks to my beta-reader ''Geekyfangirl131" for her help with this chapter!
So, off we go!
Chapter 7 "Live on your knees, or die on your feet..."
THEN...
"So, tell me Sammy; Oh, I was sure I would eventually be allowed to use that nickname..." Lucifer pointed out, tightening his hold around Dean's throat, making it unable to breathe. "Tell me, which one is going to be? Will you let them die, or will you kneel?" Lucifer spat and Sam let his eyes flutter closed...
"Forgive me... Dean, forgive me..." Sam whispered, as he reopened his eyes, which were filled with tears. He then began to bend his knees, only to freeze in place as Dean spoke. "No, don't-" Dean managed to spat, words almost inaudible, for they were spoken with no pause for breath. "You promised, you swore-" Dean rasped, and Lucifer raised an eyebrow, as he relaxed his hold around Dean's throat. "What are you mumbling about? He swore nothing." Lucifer croaked, eyes narrowing. "I would have seen it. "There are a few things, counted on the fingers of one hand, that you haven't seen." Sam explained, as he stepped away from the wall and took a couple of wobbly steps towards the Devil.
"Now, I'm willing to show them to you, if you let them go." Sam offered, but then paused, lowering his gaze. "I have seen everything-" "No." Was all Sam replied. "Despite the endless torture, the fire, the ash, the ice, the chains, the hooks and the knives... Despite the fact that you molded my own soul... There are some things I hid from you." Sam admitted, in a truthful voice. "There were other things which happened after I beat the hell out of that guy you spoke of. There is more to the story of why I walked out on Dean..." Sam breathed in and out then, in an attempt to calm himself down.
"Let them go, and I will show you all you wish to see." Sam offered again, but Lucifer declined. "You think you can play little lawyer, don't you?" Lucifer growled, voice deep. His eyes shone as he realized something he deep down knew, yet he would never speak of. He had not broken Sam completely when the young hunter was in the Cage.
"Well, let me make something clear... Dear Sammy..." He continued, stepping away from Mary's body, and towards Sam, who was not fast enough so as to move away in time. "You are in no position to be negotiating!" The Devil yelled, and his loud cry, covered Mary's sharp and pained inhales. In less than a blink of an eye, Lucifer pushed his free hand within Sam's chest yet again, extracting one more hoarse scream from Sam, who was unable to conceal his memories from his tormentor.
And this time, Lucifer dug deep, so deep that Sam was certain he would drop dead from the pain. The surrounding scenery changed again and Mary, who had managed to get on her knees could only watch, as Sam's memories unfolded, quite literally, right before her eyes. She couldn't help but notice, that the Sam and Dean she was seeing, were in Dean's room, Sam lying on the bed, Dean on his knees beside him, changing the bandages of an ugly gunshot wound in his brother's abdomen. They were looking almost the same as the ones Mary had come to know, thus she concluded that this memory was a recent one.
The woman let her eyes linger first on Dean, whose hands were holding clear bandages and then on Sam, who had locked his jaw in place, so as to stop any sounds of discomfort from escaping his lips. They seemed uneasy, and no words were spoken for a long time. "Sam, look man, I know you're pissed at me, but we need to start talking to each other-" "Just clean the wound and I'm out of here Dean." Sam replied, his tone sharp.
Dean exhaled tiredly, but continued his work in silence, eyes hazed, shoulders hunched, face darkened. When he was done, Sam tried to get up and away from the bed, only to groan in pain as he moved. "Wow, wow, wow, easy, let me help-" "I don't need your help! I don't need you to do anything, you've done enough!" Sam rasped, but Mary could tell there was bitterness in his words. "Sam... What do you want to hear? That I'm sorry? Well, I'm not." "Right, why would you be sorry? You just took a bunch of pills and committed suicide so that Billie would come to reap you and you could ask her-" "To take me instead of you. Yeah, not so great plan. But I am not sorry and you know it." Dean rasped, grabbing Sam by the shoulders.
"I wasn't dead-" "You were dead for me Sam!" Dean yelled, but a sob made him lower and then shake his head in denial. "I left you there, with Corbin... And when I came back, you were dead. I left you there, I left and-" Yet another sob emerged from Dean's throat and the green eyed man took a minute to regain his composure. "I did what I had to do. I had to save you. And no, I'm not sorry." Dean finally uttered, words spoken softly, yet in a sure tone. He then withdrew, offering his hand to Sam, who was staring anywhere else, but Dean. "I'll help you get in your room, if you want." He mumbled quietly. "Lay down, Dean." Sam whispered after a few seconds of utter silence, and the older man could not deny him.
Dean sat on his bed, bent down to remove his shoes and then lay on his side, facing his brother. "Sam-" "You didn't even think of what could have happened if you were to die and was to live-" "Sammy, please-" "And then you lied to me-" "I couldn't bring myself to tell you..." Dean's voice fainted. Sam opened his mouth to let out yet another argument, but that was when Dean lost it. "I can't do it Sam, sue me! I can't let you die, I can't live with you dead." "Well, I can't go on without you either!" Sam yelled, pinning Dean on the mattress in less than a blink of an eye. Dean knew he could break free of Sam's hold, albeit his brother was taller than him. He chose not to struggle however, in fear of hurting Sam's wound. So, he fixed his eyes on hazel ones, and gasped as he saw Sam hovering over him.
Silence coated the room then, and Mary could only watch, as her sons seemed to have lost themselves in each other's eyes. "I can't... I could never, never Dean..." Sam rasped, voice hoarse, as round drops of tears started falling from his hazel orbs. Dean took in a sharp inhale as his eyes beheld the sight of his brother breaking down. The older man tried to speak, Mary saw him opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, but no words left his lips. "Lucifer is out there Dean, and if you're gone, then I..." Sam trailed off, voice wavering.
The fear in those words made Mary shiver and Dean snap out of his stillness. The older hunter moved his hands, cupping both sides of Sam's face, brushing away the hot tears which soon met his fingertips. "I would never let him-" "You could have died, so who would be here to stop him?" "You were dead Sam!" Dean shot back, hands tightening their hold on each side of Sam's face. Dean swallowed hard, understanding that they had reached yet another dead end. There was never going to be a way out of this situation, they both knew it.
"So, where do we stand?" Sam eventually asked, voice low, hoarse. Dean locked his eyes with Sam's for a long moment and his mind seemed lost in deep thought. Then, all of a sudden, he seemed to have made a decision, and abruptly turned to his side, grabbing a knife from under the pillow. "What are you doing?" Sam uttered, making Dean pause his movements for just a second. But after that, his eyes held no sign of hesitation.
"We make a deal. We take a vow, bound in blood." He said and in one swift move, he cut his left palm, letting hot, red blood ran down freely. "What the Hell Dean-" "I won't die to save you, I won't make any more deals to bring you back from the dead. But you won't either. It's a two-way vow. You won't make a deal, not even if Lucifer asks you to. And that's because we..." Dean's voice fainted away into nothing, but the meaning of his words, both of those he had managed to utter as well of those he could never bring himself to speak aloud, was hanging heavy above their heads.
There, in the darkness of the walls those words were creeping. Sam's eyes widened in realization. We live together. We live for one another. There is no me if there is no you... Mary's eyes flew open and she spoke the words aloud..."We live and die together..." She muttered in a raspy voice.
With an elegant move of his hand, the young hunter let the fingers of his right hand find Dean's grasp, and he took the knife from him. He tore his own palm open, flinching at the feeling of blood on his skin. "I swear..." He said, voice low, soft, lips only away from Dean's. "I swear..." Dean uttered, lacing his fingers with Sam's allowing the blood to be mixed. "On this..." Sam continued, tilting his head to the side just a little, so as to capture Dean's lips with his own. The kiss was slow, yet desperate, and as their lips met, everything else faded away. There was no need for breath, no need for words and promises. No, that kiss was shielding a vow and thus was sacred, so intimate, so very powerful, filled with fear, longing, love and passion...
Mary could not speak, couldn't even blink the tears back. She could only stare bewildered, with eyes big and wide, as the two men kept kissing and Dean grabbed fistfuls of Sam's hair, raking his fingers through brown locks. "Sammy..." He breathed, low and hushed, promising and demanding all together. Sam let his hands find the broad plane of his brother's chest and hid his face in the crook of his neck, kissing, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin. Dean took in a deep breath, letting his brother's scent fill his lungs. Mary could understand that Sam as still crying, she could see his shoulders were shaking, but Dean remained silent, as he kept stroking his brother's hair.
"I would have done the same, Dean." Sam uttered, words muffled by the skin of Dean's neck. "I know, Sammy." Mary could tell that there was a point in Dean's life where he wasn't sure if Sam would have uttered those words. "But an oath like the one we took can not be broken..." Dean stated and then moved his hands, cupping Sam's face yet again, and one could tell that he did so with the gentlest of touches, a touch he rarely used. Their lips met again, only this time the kiss was fierce, lustful, sinful... "You're lying..." Mary muttered under her breath, not knowing to whom she was addressing this statement. but her words died in her throat soon after.
"Sammy..." Dean pleaded, a plea broken and low, which was met by Sam's immediate response. "I'm here, Dean, I'm here..." He whispered, allowing his brother to manhandle him, so that he was lying with his back on the mattress and Dean was now above him. Trained hands traveled down the well known paths of Sam's body, and finally lingered on that gun-shot wound, making Sam shiver at the touch. Green eyes met hazel ones, and Dean cleared his throat. "Let me... God, let me just-" Words faded away as a shudder worked its way down Dean's spine, making his hands tremble. "Whatever you want; whatever you need Dean..." Sam breathed, attacking his brother's mouth again.
"Sammy, easy baby boy, let me do the work, don't push yourself-" "Dean, you're not the only one who wants to be sure that..." Sam's low voice trailed off, and the hunter averted his gaze from Dean's, lying back on the pillows. "I know Sammy, I know..." Dean muttered, carefully peeling Sam of his night t-shirt. "But let me do the work, alright? Lay back, take it easy, please, please..." He pleaded, leaving so many things unsaid. Yet Sam could understand what his brother could not bear to speak of. He didn't need the words served on a plate before him. But for better or worse, neither did Mary... "Okay, alright. Dean, I'm alright. It's alright..." The younger man promised, letting out a long breath when Dean let his lips trail a wet path down the length of his chest.
"Dean..." Sam breathed again, as the older man let his right hand travel down until it found a very alive, pumping member waiting. "Dean..." Sam echoed, only to place a hand over his mouth. Swift, callused fingers of Dean's free hand took a hold of Sam's wrist however, pushing it aside. "Say my name, say it Sammy..." Dean pleaded, as his right hand slipped inside Sam's pants, without bothering lowering them down. Dean started stroking his brother's throbbing member, and Mary averted her gaze, even though the dim illumination the room provided, as well as Dean's fully clothed body, already hid Sam from her line of sight. Sam stilled for a second, but then laced his fingers with the ones of Dean's extended hand as best as he could.
"Dean, God- I..." "I can't Sammy, I can't lose you, I..." Dean's voice faded away, as he gave one more stroke. Sam shuddered yet again, and held Dean closer, kissing his knuckles one by one. The moans, the pleadings and the whispered words, spoken with shallow breaths which surrounded Mary started to fade away however, as the scenery started drifting away and everything dissolved into thick black smoke, like they had done the last time.
The surroundings once again became visible and Mary caught a glimpse of Sam as he once again collapsed on the floor, right before Lucifer's feet. The fallen angel started backtracking, but he never released Dean from his vicious hold. "I think I'm going to vomit..." Lucifer's voice was low, but snob. "You took a page right out of Mexican soap operas..." He continued, turning his gaze on Sam. "So weak... You are unworthy to be called a hunter, Sam. You're shallow and empty. You can't love anyone anymore, can you?" Lucifer asked, his tone now sharp.
"Only Dean... The only thing that matters is this piece of garbage... The way you cling to him... And to think you once wanted to be normal, independent... Oh how the mighty have fallen..." Lucifer continued. "He cares about others." The Devil spat, shaking Dean's barely conscious body. "He sure cares about your angel slash dog, Castiel. He cares deeply about many people. He needs other people in his life, he bonds with other people. But you... You don't even care about your own mother." "That's a lie!" Sam snapped.
"No, it's the truth. You don't love her Sam, not as your mother, not even as a friend. You wouldn't grieve for her death! You don't know her! How can you feel love, pain, sorrow or sadness, when you don't know someone?" "Oh, and you have known sorrow and grief-" "Yes, Sam... I have come to know them... And that's why I assure you, that your feelings for this woman, are shallow. Taking her as a hostage is useless. You sure will be sad if I were to kill her, but as long as I have a hold on him..." Lucifer boasted, turning his gaze on Dean. "... I can ask whatever I want of you, bitch..." Sam could only lower his head in shame.
There was nothing he could answer, for deep down, he knew that his adversary was right. A choking sound pulled him out of his thoughts and made him raise his head, only for his eyes to see Dean gasping for air as Lucifer released the hold he had on his throat, only to throw him against the nearby wall. "And stop whining about my choice of words. You really are a bitch..." The Devil mocked, eyeing Dean. "You crave for him, so why deny what you are? You're a tainted freak, broken and beaten, shattered in pieces no one can gather, who lets his brother fuck the shit out of him." Lucifer declared. Sam felt bile rising in his throat and covered his mouth with his palm.
"I never 'fucked' him, you bastard. "Oh, I get what you're trying to do here Dean. You want to lie so that mama Mary won't hate you. But I think that after what she saw, she can draw out her own conclusions." Lucifer said, eyes flicking between Dean, who was pinned on the wall, and Mary, who was pale as a ghost. "I never fucked him." Dean stated again, albeit in a lower voice. "See, Sammy, big brother is betraying you and who can blame him- "I never 'fucked him'." Dean said for a third time. "I heard you Dean-" "That was what your specialty." Dean spat, cutting the Devil off. "I have made love to him, with him. Because I wanted to. Because he wanted to." Dean's voice was sure and his eyes trailed to his mother, who was on her knees.
"You can't be serious Dean. What I saw, was a lie Lucifer conjured..." Mary rasped, voice nothing more than a low, hoarse mumble. "It's not a lie." Dean said, knowing he was risking everything. You have no right to judge, neither me, nor my brother. Amara brought you back, and frankly, I thought she did that, so that we can meet you. So that we can live together, like a family. But the real reason, was so that you could be redeemed, forgiven for the sins which are yours, yet have all fallen on our shoulders." Dean said, leaving no room for an argument.
Sam could only stare at his brother, stunned. "And I forgave you. Sam, hell, Sammy never blamed you to begin with, I've told you that before. But me and Sam, we are who we are mom. And what we have... It's not going away. Not for you. Not for anyone." Dean continued, voice low. Mary could only wave her head in refusal. "But it's..." "It is what it is, mom. Real. Pure." Dean offered, locking his gaze with hers. Mary opened her mouth to speak, but Lucifer cut her off.
"I am so very sorry to interrupt this great soap opera, but I have a son to raise, so... Back to the point." Lucifer said, grabbing Dean by the throat yet again. "Kneel." He demanded, eyes on Sam. "No." Was all Sam answered, and that lone word was followed by a yelp, as Lucifer kicked Dean's injured leg hard. "Kneel, now." He said again, eyes burning red. "I said, no." Sam repeated, voice barely above a whisper. The eerie sound of one's breath getting trapped in his throat was then heard, as Lucifer held Dean's neck with such strength, the older man could no longer breath. "Third time is the last one, bitch. Kneel." Sam turned his gaze on Mary and spoke.
"I know I'm not the son you were wishing for. I know I am tainted, broken, a freak. And I tried to fight it, I really did. The urge for the ever forbidden, the passion for the man who raised me, who was always there. At first, I thought it was a fancy. So I waited, inwardly torn into pieces. I waited, for the fancy to pass. But as I grew older I understood it would never go away. I blamed others for it. Demon Blood. Azazel, the hunting life, the loneliness, the hardships, the Devil... But it was me. Lucifer is right mom, I can no longer love people. They just end up hating me, or they die." Here Sam paused, eyeing Dean. The hunter was almost numb.
"So, I've shut myself down and I've drown away from all of our remaining friends and allies. But when it comes to Dean... I love him, mom. And I can't break the promise we made that night. Especially now, that you have seen the truth. I wouldn't stand it, if you were to hate Dean because of what we have. So, I think it's better this way. You can go on with your life. After all... We were never nothing more than strangers..." The young hunter turned his face away from his mother, his voice fainting. He felt tears trickling down his face.
"Still... For what is worth, mom... I am so glad I met you. Even if you're disappointed at me." He finally said, before meeting Dean's gaze for just a mere second. Dean gave him the slightest nod, and thus Sam, addressed towards Lucifer, whose eyes were burning. "The answer is no. I refuse to kneel before you. I am not, and will never again be, your bitch. Now get done with it. Kill us both, come on." Sam uttered, voice wavering. Lucifer's face was unreadable for a few moments, and everything was silent. But then, a smile was painted across his face, a very promising smile. A smile which resembled a poker player's, who had just picked up one more ace in his hand...
The game was not yet over...
End of chapter 7
A/N! So, here it ends! Please tell me what you think! Next chapter will come up soon!
Also, while writing, I really like listening to music, mostly soundtracks from movies or series, like Game of Thrones. But I am out of new ''themes'', so I thought I could ask you, if you have any good orchestral music which you enjoy listening to! I am all ears!
So, until next time,
Love you,
Usagi!
