The Butler's Laughs

At dawn, Ciel's aunt brought a chariot to deliver Elizabeth back home. She was too tired to walk on her own, so Sebastian carried her out. "Thank you, Sebastian," his aunt spoke as he lowered her on the cushion. Ciel stepped out onto the porch rubbing his eyes. His aunt walked up to him and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much, Ciel," she spoke as she let him go, "Whatever you're doing, it's making my Lizzie happy." Ciel blushed as she walked down the steps. She entered the carriage, the door was closed, and they were off. Sebastian stood next to his master and watched as they rode down the dull lit path. "It seems that we aren't the only ones who have noticed Milady's happiness," the butler proclaimed with a smile. The young Earl yawned, and walked back into the manor. "Shall I prepare breakfast, my lord?" he asked. Ciel heads up the stairs. "Not quite," he answers, continuing his journey, "I'm not awake yet." Sebastian grinned as his back disappeared down the hallway. He proceeded into kitchen and began to prepare for the day ahead. His desires for the young one had calmed themselves since he had assumed that he wasn't interested. His heart didn't ache though; he had already prepared himself to be rejected from his love. "A demon…a butler at that, in love with an Earl?" he thought to himself while he washed the fruit, "It's a fantasy. Nothing more. No need in feeling pity for myself."

The young Earl strolls into his bed room and closes the door. "Seems like we aren't the only ones who have noticed Milady's happiness…" These words linger in his mind. "Yes, it's obvious now," he says to himself while removing his rob, "It seems as if her happiness is the only thing that matters." He can't help but to feel a little robbed; as if the way he feels no longer is important. Sebastian stands next to him while people have fun and they keep their feelings to themselves. "I wish he would've never kissed me. But what that have made anything better?" He slid his back against the door and sat on the floor. "How would Sebastian feel…holding something in like that? How did he feel?" Ciel continued to fluster in these thoughts. His love for Elizabeth was raised into him, yet these feelings for Sebastian were new. He hadn't been taught how to handle them. "What about last night? When I called Elizabeth…? Did I mean it? Did I mean to say that I loved Sebastian?" He placed his hands on his head; these feelings confused him. He had no idea what to label them, whether or not they could be called love. His heart beat became irregular. He couldn't take this all at once.

Sebastian continues to dice the fruit for the master's fruit salad. His mind is solely focused on the preparation of the master's breakfast and the completion of the daily chores. Suddenly, he hears the pitter patter of feet behind him. He turns to see young Ciel, standing in the doorway. "Young ma…" "Don't look at me!" Sebastian stares at him for a minute. His words begin to sink in and he turns back toward the food. Ciel walks behind him and wraps his hand around him. "I don't want you to say a word," he spoke while his grip became tighter, "I don't want you to see me in this stature." Sebastian remains shocked, staying still as small arms around his waist begin to adjust. "I don't know these feelings," the young one states, "I don't know how love feels. To love someone on my own. I thought I loved Elizabeth. She has always been there and she is my future wife. Yet, that's what has been drilled into me. I know nothing but those feelings of empty love, one filled with priority." His voice begins to break apart, the sadness and frustration is becoming apparent. "Yet…when you kissed me…" Sebastian's eyes widen as the story goes on and he listens. "This warmth went through my body. I can't help but feel it. Kissing Lizzie isn't the same compared to touching you. Telling Lizzie that I loved her is what has been expected of me." His grip tightens; it becomes uncomfortable for Sebastian to stand still, yet he follows orders and does not attempt to look at his master, though he longs to hold him. "Yet when it came time to, I became a coward. It wasn't her name I spoke to her last night. It was yours….I love you, Sebastian…" The butler drops the knife in his hand on the counter. He has always wished to hear those words. Ciel's tears stain his vest as he loosens his arms and let him go. "I needed to tell you. When I leave, you may turn around." He remained silent. "This moment never happened. I just needed to get it off my chest." Ciel slowly turns and exits the kitchen.

When Sebastian thinks it is safe, he lets out a deep breath. It was so hard to hear him break down and do nothing about it. "I used to love someone…but that was a long time ago…" The demon remains motionless, trying his best to accept this all at once. Before, he couldn't keep these feelings to himself. Yet, now that it has become too much for the young one to handle, his desires have reemerged. "Finally, I can breathe easily again, knowing that he feels the same." He smiles, and slowly, begins to laugh. His laughter fills the hallways and wakes up the other servants. Tears of joy travel down his cheeks; he had never felt such bliss. He begins to calm his breathing as Finny, Mey Rin, Baldo and Tanaka enter the kitchen. "Is something wrong, Sebastian?" Baldo asks while the other rub their eyes. The butler looks at them with a huge smile on his face. "No, nothing wrong," he answers, "You all should get dressed. It's time to get up." They sigh and walk back to their rooms. The butler continues the master's breakfast as his words dance in his thoughts. "It was your name I spoke. I love you Sebastian…"