Chapter 2: Taking The Cake
The crystalline tower that served as the base of Twilight Sparkle's book-related - and of course, friendship-related - operations seemed especially beautiful in the current cold climate, snowflakes having landed upon some of the jagged blue crystals that made up the building's unique architecture, looking like dainty decorations on a glittering Hearths Warming tree that towered over the landscape.
Inside the glamorous library, Spike was humming cheerfully to himself as he arranged tinsel and baubles along the interior walls, the little dragon's wordless rendition of 'Jingle Bells' making Twilight smile as she sat at the huge, ornate round table in the centre of the room, jotting down the last few notes for her annual Hearths Warming checklist, using her magic to levitate the inked quill that was marking out her plans for the holiday season.
"…And I think that's everything," the Princess of Friendship said brightly as she set the quill aside, the purple glow around her Alicorn horn fading. "I even managed to include time to deliver candy canes as well as Hearths Warming cards! Oh, wait! Maybe I could deliver them simultaneously! That'd cut my time in half and leave room for helping Starlight with wrapping presents! Yes, I like the sound of that," she decided as she lifted up the quill again, crossing out a couple of notes and starting to write a new one underneath. It was then that she heard a knock at the front door, the sound echoing - perhaps magically - throughout the building. "Spike! Starlight! Could one of you get that?" she called without looking up from her eager scribblings.
"No problem!" Spike responded, immediately sliding down the stepladder he had been using and jogging towards the entrance, still humming Hearths Warming carols merrily as he opened the front door. "Oh, hiya, Scootaloo! Come on in!"
"Thanks," Scootaloo said, trotting inside happily as Spike closed the door behind her. "Is Twilight around? I need to ask her about something."
"Yeah, she's in the usual spot doing the usual thing."
"Writing out a monster checklist?"
"Is there any other kind with her?"
The youthful pair shared a knowing chuckle.
"Happy Hearths Warming, Twilight!" Scootaloo greeted as she entered the main chamber, Twilight having just magically folded up the checklist and tied it into a scroll for Spike's easy access, setting it aside for later. Starlight Glimmer entered the room through the far doorway, trying in vain to balance on her rear hooves as she carried a comically tall stack of presents without using her magic in accordance with Twilight's teachings; Starlight had a tendency to rely too heavily on her magic to get anything and everything done, often resulting in unintended mishaps. After a moment of wobbling back and forth precariously, Starlight cried out as she lost her balance and fell over, the presents landing on top of her. After a moment, the unicorn sat up with a groan, a candy cane tangled in her dark purple mane, right next to the lone streak of her hair that was a vibrant azure blue.
"Same to you, Scootaloo," Twilight replied just before Starlight went tumbling, the Princess of Friendship wincing slightly at the sound of the crash. She glanced over at Starlight, who sat momentarily dazed on the floor, surrounded by overturned red and green boxes tied with glittery gold ribbons and sparkling silver bows. "Starlight, why don't you go check on the Hearth's Warming cookies? They should almost be done baking by now."
"Fine, whatever," Starlight mumbled wearily as she picked herself up off the floor. She sauntered slowly out of the room, looking tired, battered and all around miserable. Twilight, on her part, felt a pang of guilt. Maybe she'd been working Starlight too hard lately... Pushing the thought from her mind for the moment, she turned back to Scootaloo.
"Having a good holiday so far?" the Alicorn asked.
"Heck, yeah! It feels soooooo good to be out of school for a few weeks! And we, the Crusaders, have been having so much fun! Just yesterday we went bobsledding, had a snowball fight, and I think we drank our weight in hot cocoa last night! It's been a blast! Oh, and we also tried to help some of the neighbourhood fillies get their Cutie Marks, of course. Y'know, once or twice."
"Glad to hear it," Twilight told her. "And speaking of hot cocoa… Oh, Spiiiike!" she trilled in a syrupy sweet tone, making it quite clear that she wanted something.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," Spike replied from the far side of the room, already holding more mugs than he could safely carry, a packet of marshmallows held between his teeth. He started forward in search of the cocoa powder and milk, but tripped over a book that had been left on the floor and cried out as the mugs flew out of his clawed hands, about to smash into the ground and break into dozens of jagged pieces-
The little dragon let out a sigh of relief when the mugs stopped their descent in midair, hovering whilst surrounded by that familiar purple glow. Twilight, having intervened due to not wanting a repeat of what had happened with Starlight before, set the mugs down gently from afar and Spike decided it was safest to leave them there as he set to work, gathering up the necessary ingredients, spooning some of the chocolate powder into each mug, adding warm milk - which he had heated with his fire breath, having taken extreme care not to mistakenly transport it to Celestia's throne room lest Twilight's mentor be scalded by hot liquid raining down from above - and finally served the refreshingly warming beverages, dropping a couple marshmallows into each mug and leaving the marshmallow packet on the edge of the table in case anypony wanted more. Case in point, Spike produced a particularly plump vanilla marshmallow of purest white from the bag and held it between his claws, toasting it lightly with his fire breath in show-off fashion only for it to suddenly disappear, much to his embarrassment and dismay. "Well, that's one for Princess Celestia then," he mused as Twilight and Scootaloo laughed.
"Anyway, Twilight," Scootaloo started, pausing to take a sip of her cocoa, savouring the creamy warmth of the drink and licking her muzzle in satisfaction, "I was wondering if you still had that old wizard's hat from when you dressed up as Star Swirl the Bearded? The Crusaders and I want it to build our snowpo- I mean, to build our knowledge of Equestrian history," she quickly corrected herself before her true intentions could slip out. "I mean, if we're gonna help everypony earn their Cutie Marks, we need to know as much as possible, right?" she finished, smiling in what she hoped was a convincing way.
"You really want to learn about Star Swirl the Bearded?" Twilight asked excitedly, her eyes shining with a bright, hopeful glint and her smile a mile wide. "Well, you came to the right pony, make no mistake!" she said, getting out of her seat and heading for the bookcase. "In fact, why settle for just being in possession of the hat when you can impress everypony with your knowledge of its true significance? Did you know, for example, that Star Swirl first acquired his signature hat when…?"
"Um, actually, Twilight, I think the hat will be just fine for now," Scootaloo said rather pleadingly as Twilight began to babble on and on about one of her greatest idols. "I mean, I could always come back after the holidays, bring the Crusaders with me and we could all learn about it together as part of 'Twilight Time' or something."
"Nonsense. I've always got time to teach the younger generation about the finer points of Equestrian history," Twilight assured her, levitating several books about Star Swirl over to the table.
"That's not what this checklist indicates," Spike muttered from where he now sat, having picked up Twilight's checklist to browse, finding it three times as long as some of her longest checklists on record.
"We'll start with the story of Star Swirl's humble but nonetheless amazing origins," Twilight said, opening the nearest book to reveal a page packed to the brim with paragraph after paragraph of exceedingly tiny writing. "Once upon a time, in a distant land, there was…"
Scootaloo moaned quietly, sounding exasperated. She drained the last of the cocoa from her mug and then slumped her front hooves on the table, knowing full well that she was going to be here for a while.
A few minutes later, Starlight re-entered the room, still looking irritable. Seeing Twilight off on a tangent about Star Swirl while Scootaloo stared into space, tuning out the world around her, the unicorn allowed herself a sly smirk. Making sure that Twilight and Spike weren't watching, Starlight levitated the bag of marshmallows over to herself, snatching them up in her forelegs before creeping out of the room with a triumphant, almost devious giggle.
"Hmm. I suppose I could get her a cake, perhaps with a personalised message in frosting, but aren't cakes better suited to birthdays and the like than Hearths Warming?" Discord mused as he gazed upon the many pastries and treats on display in the Sugarcube Corner bakery, stroking his furry white goatee and voicing his thoughts aloud. He then snapped his fingers, for once not causing anything absurd to happen, for he only did it in this case to signify a moment of realisation. "I know! I'll ask the staff what they'd recommend! It sort of worked with that whole tea party business a while back…" On that note, the Draconequus approached the main service counter, immediately noticing that it wasn't Pinkie Pie behind the desk, but rather her sister, Maud. "Excuse me, but what sort of confection would you recommend as a gift for somepony? I'm looking for something that falls into the 'for all occasions' category while still standing out as a real show stopper!"
Maud stared at him with her usual disinterested expression, her tone somehow making her sound even more bored than she looked.
"We have a cake that looks like a rock. It's a rock cake. I made it myself. It's decorated with small heart-shaped rocks, but the cake itself is not actually made from rocks. I like rocks."
"Okay…" Discord said slowly, not sure what to make of Maud's dull demeanour. "It sounds… intriguing, I guess? What, um, flavour is it?"
"It's a chocolate cake made to look like a rock, but it's not actually a rock."
"Yes, we've established that," Discord mumbled, starting to feel a little uncomfortable, if not mildly annoyed, due to the way Maud was presenting herself to a potential paying customer. She sounded like she couldn't give a flying feather if she tried.
"It's topped with a mint flavoured frosting of moss green," Maud continued. "As such, it looks like a moss-covered rock. I like rocks. That's why I made it to look like a rock."
Discord stared at Maud for a full ten seconds, his expression now becoming almost as dull as hers. "Do you like to drink coffee?" he asked with mock curiosity. "I think you do, because I can just hear the energetic enthusiasm you have for your job in your every word. It absolutely drips from each syllable like mossy green icing on a rock-shaped cake," he finished with a cold jeer, convinced that the grey mare was trying to drive him up the wall.
"You don't have to get nasty," Maud told him without the slightest change in her tone or expression. "If you don't want to buy my rock-shaped cake, nopony is going to force you to. Perhaps you'd be more interested in a batch of cupcakes with rainbow swirl icing? They don't look like rocks."
That did it. Discord reached over the counter, grabbed Maud Pie by the scruff of her neck and lifted her off the ground, causing several other customers in the store to gasp, stopping and staring in shock. "Now see here, little miss smarty-pants pony…" Discord began threateningly, holding the grey mare at eye level, inches from his face. She didn't react to her predicament, however.
And fortunately, she didn't have to.
"Discord!" a familiar voice squeaked in outrage. "Put my sister down! Now!"
Discord's eyes shifted to see Pinkie Pie standing in the doorway leading to the back room, glaring at him with her eyes narrowed. The Draconequus gently placed Maud back where she had been standing.
"She started it!" was his immediate exclamation, brandishing a taloned finger at Maud. "I was trying to be nice and polite, but she just had to be difficult!"
"That's how I was going to summarise your behaviour in relation to mine," Maud stated, her words as monotone as ever. "It's not my fault you don't like rocks."
"Oh, just give me five seconds and I'll gladly show you exactly what you can do with your rocks, you-!"
"DISCORD!" Pinkie screeched, the pitch of her voice causing several customers to wince, their ears agitated by the shout. The original party pony started forward, looking very cross. "In case you weren't aware, Discord, my sister was NOT trying to offend you in any way - that's just the way she talks. Furthermore, if you have a complaint about the quality of our service, you should know that we recently set up a box for customer feedback surveys near the cash register, with said survey papers stacked right next to said box. Now, if it's all the same to you, I would like you to look my sister in the eye and apologise for handling her like that!"
Discord's left eye appeared to be twitching slightly, but after a brief moment, he exhaled deeply, forcing himself to remain calm. He focused his gaze on Maud, still feeling disdain for her lack of caring, whether such was her fault or not. "I… regret that which transpired a moment ago. I'm afraid I was… unaware of the true nature of your… mannerisms, and I may have overreacted as a result."
"Eh. I guess it's fine. You're not the first to interpret my words the wrong way," Maud said, starting to sound like a broken record in terms of her tone. "I'll leave you in the care of my sister. I'm sure she'll help you find what you're looking for." With that, the grey mare turned and filed into the back room, pausing for a moment in the doorway. During that pause, her face hidden from the prying eyes of the customers, a single tear formed in her eye, running down her cheek and landing with the faintest of drops on the store's floor. She quickly recomposed herself as she walked out of sight, knowing full well that if Pinkie saw that she was upset, the pink pony would go on the warpath, and that prospect was far more terrifying than being left mildly shaken by an encounter with a being of pure chaos.
Pinkie watched her sister go, already suspecting that something was wrong, but she decided that she'd address it during the designated break period. In the meantime, she had customers to attend to, not least the Draconequus who was still waiting.
"Well, now that we've got that settled," the original party pony said in an oddly dark tone before very suddenly shifting into her usual absurdly chipper state, "What can I get you, Discord?"
"Well, actually, I…" Discord trailed off, noticing Maud standing there in the gloom of the back room, her head down, unmoving. After a long moment, the Spirit of Chaos sighed heavily, snapping his fingers and causing a rather large pile of gold Bits to appear on the counter. "I think I'll just pay for a couple dozen chocolate apology cakes addressed to your sister and leave before I do anything else to draw attention to myself," he decided, guilt claiming him. He turned to walk away, but stopped when he felt a hoof on his waist. He glanced down to see Pinkie smiling brightly up at him.
"That's really nice of you, Discord," she said, "But just one'll be plenty. Maud's not the type to hold a grudge. I'm sure she'll forgive you soon if she hasn't already. Tell you what - let's go out back and you can sign your name on the apology cake in frosting. Come on, it'll be fun!"
Feeling a little uncertain, Discord decided to play along, following Pinkie as she merrily bounced into the back area of the bakery as though her legs were all one big pogo stick. After all, it was this or throwing away a large sum of Bits.
Speaking of Bits, as soon as Pinkie and Discord were out of sight, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came up to the counter, glanced around to make sure nopony else was watching them, and proceeded to scrape as much of Discord's money as they could carry into a brown satchel before hurrying away, snorting and cackling most deviously.
A short while later, Discord emerged back into the main part of the store, glad to have his awkward shopping experience behind him. He was just heading for the exit when he collided with someone coming into the bakery.
"Oh, boy, what a day. Don't tell me I have to buy another apology cake..." Discord exclaimed before gazing upon the pony he had bumped into. She was a dark purple unicorn in a black jacket with eyes that housed a troubled past, yet a faint glimmer of hope for the future. The most distinguishing feature about her by far, however, was her horn. Cracked. Broken. Gone. Lost to the ages, leaving only a jagged bump on her forehead that glowed a faint white. Something told Discord that for as ravaged as that horn was, it was no less magically capable than he himself.
"My apologies," the unicorn said, her voice almost as dull as Maud's. The difference was that this mare's words actually had clear emotion behind them, albeit still not very positive-sounding. "Oh," the unicorn then said, taking a good, long look at Discord. "I was wondering when I might cross paths with you."
Discord furrowed his brow slightly. "I know you," he mused thoughtfully. "Not by face, but by reputation. Where did I hear…? Oh. Oh! Oho!" The Draconequus then grinned. "Yes, I remember now. Princess Twilight told me about you after I got back from my vacation. You're… Temptress Shade, yes?"
"It's actually pronounced Tempest Shadow, but that's not my real name," Tempest elaborated.
"Pity, because that name suits someone who can do the things you can do," Discord declared, looking genuinely excited for the first time that day. "Oh, my, yes. If I may say so, Tempest, your conquest over Equestria, however brief, was most inspiring! I haven't heard of such unbridled chaos since I myself ran unopposed! I mean, turning the masses into stone? If only I'd thought of that back in the day! Oh, but then again, I've made a conscious choice to leave my past in the past, and from what I've heard, you're walking a similar path these days. I daresay we could learn a thing or two from one another!"
"The only thing I want to learn today, Discord, is whether or not this bakery has any double choc-chip caramel fudge cookies in stock. Now please, stand aside."
"Oh, my! It seems that you know of my reputation as well! How delightful! Tell me, how would you rate your power level in comparison to mine? Would you say that it's… over nine thousand?" Discord taunted, bursting out laughing at the end of his sentence.
Tempest raised an eyebrow. "You know, Discord, you're everything - and I mean everything - that Twilight Sparkle described you to be."
Discord was taken aback by that. "Oh? Well, thank you... I think."
"That being said, you might like to examine the front window display," Tempest told him with a faint sly smirk. "I believe that the miniature cupcakes marketed towards younger fillies are on sale."
Discord's smile instantly faded at that, but after a brief moment of silence, he laughed once more.
"Oh, you're good, Tempest Shadow, I'll give you that."
"Well, I… I'm trying to be," Tempest said quietly, hanging her head. "I've been using my powers to cause pain and suffering for so long, I can only hope that it's even still possible for me to be considered 'good'."
"Wow. A bit on the melodramatic side, aren't we?"
Tempest straightened up. "I should be moving along. I suggest you do the same."
Discord placed his paw under Tempest's chin and lifted her head up. "You know, Tempest, looking at you right now, I can't help but wonder if I looked that miserable when I was still getting used to the idea of-" He stopped abruptly in mid-sentence when he saw that the unicorn's broken horn was crackling with power. He quickly withdrew his paw and recoiled, alarmed.
Tempest lowered her head again. "No! I can't. Not again," she muttered. "I can't lose control. I WON'T!" she suddenly screamed, making everypony in the store jump.
"Hey, is everything okey-dokey-lokey over there?" Pinkie called from over at the counter.
"I was wrong. You're in a far worse state than I was," Discord decided, looking genuinely concerned.
"Hey, come on, everypony - turn those frowns upside down!" Pinkie said encouragingly, stepping around the counter and making her way across the store. "Let's find that holiday cheer and really grab it by the reins!" she declared, stepping in between Discord and Tempest, placing a hoof on each former villain's back. Tempest tensed a little at the physical contact, but managed to refrain from instinctively activating her horn again. "I know what'll cheer you two up! Free Hearths Warming muffins for my friends Discord and Fizzlepop Berrytwist! In fact, FREE HEARTHS WARMING MUFFINS ALL AROUND!"
The crowd in the store cheered, not least a certain mail mare with misaligned eyes, who appeared positively euphoric at the prospect of free samples of her favourite treat.
"Only one per customer, though! Oh, what the heck - make it two! And while you're enjoying your complimentary muffins, be sure to check out that notice on the wall courtesy of Princess Celestia herself! It seems that she's renting out the main hall of Canterlot Palace to anypony who wants to host a Hearths Warming party there! See the notice for details!"
Discord snapped his fingers and instantly teleported to the notice before anypony else could get close, examining it with intrigue. "She's renting out the main hall for something that'll result in a huge mess for her to clean up afterwards? Sounds like my kind of thing!" He then turned away from the notice, his eyes settling on a large cake on display.
A cake decorated in the likeness of a disco ball. Discord once again found himself stroking his goatee, a number of clever (and chaotic) little thoughts going through his head.
"And maybe, just maybe, it could be Fluttershy's kind of thing, too."
Making his decision, Discord tore the notice off the wall and teleported back over to where Tempest stood, the former commander of the Storm King's army now holding a half-eaten chocolate muffin with strawberry frosting and multicoloured sprinkles in one hoof. It seemed to have perked her up, if only a little.
"Tempest, in regards to what happened back there, it seems that you need the same thing I did when I first started to get into the whole 'friendship is magic' thing."
"And what's that?" Tempest enquired cautiously, her mouth full.
"A practical outlet for your powers," Discord stated, holding up the notice for her to see, "And if you'd be interested in helping me with a little constructive project, I think we'll both have an ideal way to go positively wild with our respective powers and still get in everypony's good books! What d'you say? Interested?"
