Nov 12 2015
I sigh contently as I separate the laundry. Not that I particular enjoy laundry just content with my life. The past four months have been pure heaven for me, I attribute my bliss to the addition of Fergal. The man insisting that we go on a proper date a week after his birthday. Staying away until that night. We have been pretty much inseparable, spending four to five nights a week together. A routine emerges quickly. Breakfast made by me followed by a day at the Performance Center. We usually flip a coin to decide whose apartment to spend the evening at. Much of the time I cooked dinner with Fergal chatting about some odd thing or the other. I usually continued the conversation as Fergal cleaned. The plan to watch a movie usually discarded fifteen minutes in. I smile as I toss a pair of his basketball shorts in the wash.
"Hey Cupcake."
Jumping I spin to find my father leaning on the doorframe.
"Dad. What are you doing here?"
"My place," he shrugs eyeing the laundry at my feet.
"Funny, I thought it was my place," I smile kicking a pair of jeans over Fergal's briefs.
"Well it's my building," he states as I exit my laundry room pausing to give him a quick hug.
"But the third floor belongs to me, remember?"
"Where is your spare key?"
The change in subject throws me off guard for a second. "At a friend's place." "Not a total lie. For a time, it is stashed away at Fergal's place. Now it's more likely on his keyring like his spare is on mine." I smile at the Lego man topped key peeking out amongst the forest of keys on my keyring.
"Who?"
"Someone I met wrestling," I state as I make my way through the kitchen.
"Why do they have it?"
"Well it wouldn't do me much good in here," I mumble searching through the fridge for lunch. Settling on a container of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables.
"What do you mean?"
"What use is a spare key if I lock it and my regular key in the apartment. Their apartment is just a few blocks away," I continue when he doesn't look convinced. "I thought it would be the best option."
"And your kitchen table," he motions to the new table.
"It was old," I shrug fighting back the blush wanting to invade my face. "It finally gave out." "During the best fucking I ever received," I add mentally.
"A little birdie told me you had a boy up here living with you."
"Jamie doesn't know what she's talking about."
"I never…"
"Jamie is a kiss ass," I interrupt. "She's the only one of your girls that would spy on me for you."
"Well?"
"Yes, I have a boyfriend if that's what this little game of twenty questions is about. Yes, he's the one that has my key. He had it months before we started dating for the exact reason I told you earlier."
"So, you do have a boy living here."
"One: He is not a boy. He's a full-grown man. And two: We are not living together. Not officially. We do spend most nights together but we are not living together."
"How long?"
"Four months."
"And you didn't tell me or your mother about this?"
"Mom knows," I whisper.
"Arianna Shae Dean…"
"You're still hung up on Calvin and our break-up. No one is going live up to Calvin for you. No one is going to be good enough for me except Calvin."
"So, what are you going to do when the honeymoon period is over on this relationship? When the stuff comes up and you can't deal."
"Dad, don't," I whisper. His words ripping at a wound that never quite heals inside me. I feel the old insecurities surface killing my contentment.
"You need to hear this."
"I've heard it," I snap. "I've heard it a million times. You handpicked baby boy for me and I broke his heart. Your daughter is a cold-hearted bitch. It doesn't matter that it broke my heart too. Get out."
"Don't…"
"You own the bottom two thirds of this building but this is mine. I don't want you in my space right now so take yourself to the second floor or below. Get out of my apartment," I bark when he doesn't move.
"I'm not done talking to you about this," he states backing away.
"You never are," I call after him.
"Ari," Fergal calls entering the apartment.
I try to rein in the sobs tearing through my body to no avail. Instead I bury my face against the back of the couch to muffle them instead.
"Ari? Ari, Love, what's wrong?"
I feel the couch dip beside me.
Love, please talk ta me," he whispers.
I turn to face him slowly.
"What happened," he asks wiping the tears.
I shake my head mutely.
"Please."
"Wh…What happens when…when the honeymoon phase is…is over and we have our first fight," I hiccup.
"Whadda mean?"
"What happens when we fight? What happens when I'm not enough for you anymore? I don't know if my heart can take it."
"Love," he smiles slightly intertwining our fingers, "I don't think I would eva be foolish enough ta eva tink ya wasn't enough anymore. Eva. If we fight, we fight," he shrugs. "If that's how we need ta work out our problems ten we'll have tha bigges' fights and ten we'll make up jus' as hard."
I sniff staring at our hands between us.
"Whadda think would happen?"
I shrug. Disentangling one hand, he uses his fingertips under my chin to raise my eyes to his. "What?"
"I've only had one adult relationship," I murmur. "First time we fought he…He proved that I wasn't enough for him."
His brows furrow at me, "What about tha lad ya were dating wen we met? What was his name?"
"Calvin," I state dropping my eyes. "That's the one."
"Ya left him didn' ya?"
"Yeah."
He gathers me onto his lap settling deeper onto the couch. "What happened?"
"We had our first fight," I sniffle leaning against his chest. His hand comes up to play with the ends of my hair. "It took us a year but it finally happened. I don't even remember what it was even about. Some random little relationship bump that everyone has. I left and came here to the bar for an hour to calm down. When I came back he had some random girl bent over our couch. He tried to explain himself but I wouldn't hear it. I've never told anyone that," I whisper as the realization hits me.
"Why not?"
"At first it was because I thought it was my fault and I didn't want to let Dad down. I still don't I guess."
"I don' understand, Love."
"Dad is the one who set me and Calvin up. Hell, he loved the man more than I did. He thinks so highly of Calvin."
"And he doesn' you?"
"I don't…I don't even know anymore. He just came in ranting about Calvin and I didn't want to hear it so I threw him out. Now I feel bad and I don't know how to fix it."
"Ya should tell 'em about Calvin."
"I'll think about it."
"I mean it," he mumbles after a few seconds of silence. I lift my head to look at him. "I want ta work through any problems we may have. If we gotta fight ta accomplish that, so be it. I will neva let that happen ta ya again. We are in this togetha, Love."
I nod leaning forward, my lips millimeters from his. "I'm sorry I brought my insecurities from my past into our relationship," I whisper.
"S'alright," he sighs brushing his lips across mine. "I'm glad ya did."
"Let me make it up to you," I smile, snaking my hands between us to work at the button and zipper of his jeans.
"Not right now, Love," he sighs, his hands stilling mine.
"But…"
"I want ta but not right now. Ya needa different kinda intimacy," he sighs moving me back to the couch.
"What do you have in mind?"
"Firs', dinna," he smiles, pressing a kiss to my temple. "Ten we'll go from t'ere. No sex," he corrects at the look I give him.
"You are no fun," I call after him. "And I'll put in our usual order at the Chinese place."
"I don' know how many times I gotta tell you I can cook."
I lay snuggled up in front of Fergal on the couch as a random movie plays on the TV, a blanket draped over us. I had changed into an oversized shirt and my favorite lace thong after dinner, leaving my legs bare in an attempt to sway my boyfriend into a more vigorous form of intimacy. Fergal wouldn't have it instead pulling into his arms as he lay scrolling through Netflix, tucking me against his chest. One arm serving as my pillow as the other wraps around me loosely. I fidget my hips for the twentieth time in the last five minutes causing my ass to graze across his sweatpants covered pelvis. I feel his body react with each pass causing me to fidget even more.
"Ari," he growls.
"What," I ask innocently.
"Stop movin'"
"I'm just trying to get comfortable."
"No yer not," he chuckles, his hand coming up to still my hips. "Phone."
Reaching out I drag my lit-up phone from the coffee table in front of us.
Mom. What happened between your dad and you today?
He wanted to harp on my relationship with Calvin and I didn't so I told him to get out of my apartment.
Dear God. I'll talk to him.
Don't worry about it. I'm over it.
After a few seconds of silence, I receive another message. You will still be at Thanksgiving dinner?
I stare at the message, chewing on my bottom lip. I didn't notice Fergal's hand sliding up my body until it comes between mine, tapping out a message with one finger before sending it off to my mother. Yes.
"You're speaking for me now?"
"Jus' helping ya make tha right decision."
Another message from my mother cuts off any response I have. "You wanna take that one too," I chuckle.
Will Fergalicious be joining you?
"Fergalicious?"
"I showed a picture of you in your wrestling gear to Mom and my sister and told them your name. Amber looked me dead in the eye and said, "Damn, that's Fergalicious." I guess it stuck," I giggle.
Reaching out, he types another message. He said absolutely.
Sliding the phone back onto the table, I turn in his arms. "You don't have to go you know?"
"Yea, I do," he smiles down at me. "I gav' my word. I neva go back on my word."
"You want to do the whole meet the parents' thing?"
"I want ya ta meet mine," he states. "Seems fair."
"What?"
"Ya heard me," he smiles. "Tat's if ya want."
"Will they like me," I whisper.
"They'll love ya. Because I love ya."
"I love you," I echo.
"I love ya," he repeats his lips lowering to mine.
"I love you."
"I love ya."
"Move in with me," I blurt.
"Wha?"
"Move in with me," I repeat softly.
"Here?"
"Here, your place, or somewhere totally ours. I just want to come home to you every chance I can get."
His eyes sweep around the room before coming back to mine. "I like tis place. Lots a good memories."
"Is that a yes?"
"Yea," he grins.
Hooking a hand around his neck I bring his mouth back to mine swallowing his moan as my hand drifts down his chest.
"Ari," he mumbles against my lips, his arm tightens around my waist and I feel just how my fidgeting affected him.
"Ssshhhh Baby," I shush. "Please. I need you. Just let go."
"Yer sure?"
"Mmmhmm," I hum. "Let's celebrate."
"Say it again," he murmurs.
"I want to come home to you every chance I can get," I smile pressing a kiss over his heart. "I want to fall asleep in these arms every night. I want to meet the people who brought the man I love into this world. But first I want you to make love to me. Ferg, Baby, please, make love to me."
His fingers slide slowly up my legs hooking into the waistband of my thong before sliding back down.
My hand slides between us and into his sweatpants grasping him firmly. He groans softly as I start to stroke slowly, his forehead falling to mine. "Did ya know I was tinking about this all day," he states, his fingers sliding along my heat. "When I saw ya sobbin'…Tha only ting I could tink about was makin' ya feel better withou' bein' a pervert."
"I kinda like it when you're a pervert," I groan grinding against his hand, whining when he removes himself from me.
"Help me, Love," he whispers lifting his hips.
I peel the sweatpants down his thighs. "I can't…"
"Good enough," he sighs hooking my leg around his waist and pressing up into me harshly.
"Finally," I groan, my eyes bore into his.
"Miss me?"
"Uh huh," I pant as his hips snap against mine. "I don't like this new training program."
"I'm 'ere now," he pants. The pace he sets is grueling and I use my grip on his neck to stay on the couch.
"It seems you've missed me too," I groan as he pulls my leg higher to gain deeper access.
"Week and a half, Love. Tat's the longest of our relationship," he grunts.
"Let's not let that happen again," I sigh tossing my head back to ride the waves of pleasure.
"Look at me," he growls. Yer so beautiful when ya come."
I bring my face back to his. My grip slides from his neck, down his back, and to his ass urging him deeper. "Fuck Baby," I moan as the first ripples of my orgasm hits me.
He grunts shortly after, his mouth falling to my shoulder littering me with open mouth kisses. "Did ya mean it? About ma parents?"
"Of course, you mean it about coming to Thanksgiving?"
He nods against me.
"I love you."
"I love ya more," he murmurs against my skin, tucking the blanket tighter around us.
The contentment from earlier settles back over me. As long as I have Fergal, I feel like no problem is too big for me to conquer.
