Chapter 11

I must have drove a thousand miles by now, though I couldn't tell you how I got here. What happened, what I was doing completely freaked me out. Pulling over to the side of the road, I stop the car and get out. Nothing but trees and a few billboards surround me. Walking in no general direction I try to organize my thoughts. I have no idea what to do now, or who to turn to.

I briefly consider going to Renee and telling her what happened. I could almost bet that doing so would only make me feel worse and exasperated. I would end up being more worried about how she would be taking it, rather than trying to heal myself. That is if I was even capable of recovering now.

I come to a stop, almost halfway to the woods now, and fall to my knees with my face to the sky. I take a few gulps of air and feel drops of rain as the sky erupts. Remembering that time in the forest when Edward left me, I thought that nothing more horrific or painful could happen to me, but I was so wrong. I felt like those creatures took a part of me.

A part that defined my whole essence and I was starting to fear that I would never get that back. And if I never got that back then who was I to condemn Edward and his family to being prisoners to my emotional stronghold I seemed to hold over them. Perhaps, this way at least one of us could move on. Was life really worth it? Wouldn't it be more merciful to end it here and now? Shaking my mind of these suicidal thoughts, I know I can't just give up no matter how easy and inviting it may seem.

The sky crackled with its angry thunder. Deciding to go back to the car and dry somewhere safe, I start the engine. I make out the sign of a motel and turn into it. It's not until I park that I realize that I have no form of money at all. Remembering that Edward always kept spare clothes in his trunk, I pop it open and find them.

Grabbing the pair of jeans and the black tshirt that would surely swallow me, I bring them to my nose, filling it with the still prevalent scent of Edward. My body shook with my ever present sorrow. As I was about to close the trunk, my eyes caught on an envelope. Grabbing it, I notice my name written as if in calligraphy on it, noting it was from Alice. Opening it, I pull out a note.

"I knew you would need some money for your journey. I hope you find what you're looking for and I hope you know how much we all love and miss you. You should knwow that you carry apart of my, as well as everyone's, heart with you and we aren't whole without you.

Love always, your best friend and sister,

Alice."

Seeing the billfolds in the folder, I count it. I'm not surprised at the absurd amount that Alice placed in it. I couldn't help but wonder if she saw me leaving and all this, then why wouldn't she try and make me stay. If Edward ever found out about her vision, I'm sure he would have been thoroughly pissed. Paying for a room for the next week, I enter my current residence. It's not much to look at, the owner was still stuck in the sixties, but it had a bed so I guess it served it's purpose.

Hours had passed and I did nothing else aside from lying motionless on the bed. My stomach was protesting this lethargy. This was the first time my mind was clear enough to recognize my hunger. Forcing my body up from this self imposed comatose state, I trudge to the door. Stepping out I look around for the first time really. I still had no knowledge of where I had ended up, but apparently it was the middle of nowhere. Right next to the motel was a bar that advertised food along with liquor. Assuming that was the best I was going to get, I walked the short distance.

Upon entering the bar, I found the place to be practically empty except the few lost souls. Something in common among us. There was no real tables to sit at, so I plopped myself at the bar expecting the bartender to immediately shoo me away and to the tables. Instead the gruff man walked over to me and spoke in a rough voice asking for my order.

"What do you want?"

"Just a burger and fries is all." I chance on the item as they don't seem to be fans of using menus. The bartender took my order and wordlessly walked to the back kitchen. Inhaling, I notice the stuffy air filled with cigarette smoke and heavy with booze.

It doesn't take long for my order to be taken care of. I began to eat barely tasting anything. I hear a rattling of the stool next to me. Letting a fry crash down to the plate, I turn to see a man sitting beside me. His hair is scruffy and he is unshaved. He reminds me of one of those cowboys that Hollywood always romanticizes. He doesn't look like he should be mixed up with such a miserable crowd, especially me. He notices my eye of curiosity and tilts his hat in greeting.

Slightly and nervously smiling in return, I concentrate back on the plate of food. I can still feel his gaze on my face as if it were a light beating hotly upon my skin. I can feel my heart beat increase and tell myself to calm down before he notices that. It's only then I realize how stupid that sounds. He wouldn't hear my heartbeat, he was most definitely human. A chuckle escaped my mouth.

"Hello there. It's okay if I sit with you isn't it?" He asks cautiously. "I'm Drake by the way."

I'm want to tell him to leave at this instant, but the fact that he wants to sit next to me at all excites me and intrigues me. Why would someone as limitless as him want to associate himself with someone as damaged as me? Perhaps against my better judgement, I answer him.

"No, it's fine. I'm Bella." Probably shouldn' have told him my name but what's the worst he could do to me that already hasn't been done?

"Well Bella, it looks like you could use a beer to wash that down." Before I have a chance to respond he orders ione for the bothof us. The bartender places them in front of us without even questioning my age. Looking at the foreign object in front of me, I debate on whether or not I should take it. Maybe this would give me the peace I was looking for, maybe it would numb everything out.

Making my decision I breing the bottle to my lips and swallow it quickly, finding the taste to be offensive. I hear Drake order another one and very soon things are becoming hazy.

((AN: Wow. 2 chapters in one day! So, I'm betting that half of you guys are going to hate me next chapter…I already hate myself a little for even thinking about doing it, but it makes for a good read, promise! Now review please? ))