Chapter 5.

"Adam, Adam. I delivered the message but I had to hightail it out of there. They was all piling out of that lil old cabin and there was a stranger with em."

"A stranger?" Adams eyes narrowed.

"Yeah I ain't never seen him before, blond hair, check shirt, looked a mite like Illya Kuryakin."

"Don't worry Hoss, I know him. He's with us," Adam said.

Hoss nodded and kicked at the dirt in front of him.

"I lost that damned donkey."

"He's over there grazing on the long grass. He's been back hours. Whatever possessed you to bring him, your horse would have surely been a better choice."

"Adam I done told ye, I wanted to look like a stray peddler like in those penny dreadful books Joe used ta read. I figured I'd sneak up and get the drop on em."

"Clever, but you've been gone three hours. Bonzo there ate your dinner."

"It's Almanzo and I had to eat something. You've been practically starving me to death." Almanzo spoke around a mouth full of bacon grits and cheese.

Adam turned to him.

"Starving you to death, you've had three slices of bread, two bowls of stew and nearly all of Hop Sings blueberry pie. I can't keep you in food. You must have worms."

"You let em eat my dinner Adam?" Hoss scowled.

"You don't have to sit here and listen to the whining. I'm worn out. He never stops talking about his next meal."

"My dinner!" Hoss was close to tears as he sat down heavily on a tree stump.

Adam put a hand up for silence as footsteps could be heard approaching. He straightened up as two newcomers entered camp.

"Hello."

"Never mind hello," Albert said, Andy stood a little behind him trying to look tough. Both boys wielded big sticks and they were ready for trouble.

"You have our friend tied up over there,"

Andy vaguely pointed in the general direction.

"And we want him back," Albert tried not to wet himself as Adam stood up.

Adam scratched the side of his neck as he spoke.

"No sorry boys, we can't do that. Not until we take back what is rightfully ours."

Hoss stepped forward blocking out the sun.

"Did you boys run all the way here? Say….which of you boys is little Joe's son?"

Albert and Andy looked at each other.

Albert decided on a more assertive tact. He held up the stick which was now looking a bit flimsy and crap.

"Untie him and you won't get hurt."

"What did ye say?" Adam leaned forward.

Albert was having a bad nose day, his sinuses were completely blocked. Worse than usual.

"I said…..untie him and you won't get hurt."

Adam looked to the sky. "It's getting late, where did you say these boys came from Hoss."

"Walnut Grove, you know that little town with the big store we passed through."

Adam nodded. "We can't let them hike back there tonight. Hoss fetch me the rope from the saddle bags."

Hoss got up and went to the nearest saddlebag perched on a low wooden fence. He returned with a length of rope which Adam cut in two.

Albert gulped as Adam approached him. They put Albert on the ground, Adam was tying his hands and Hoss was tying his ankles together.

Andy was wielding the flimsy stick and sending it down again and again over Hoss's back. Damn that Sunday school teaching. As much as he tried he couldn't bring himself to hit hard enough to hurt the man. Eventually Hoss was finished tying Albert up. He reached over and pulled Andy down beside him. As Adam tied his wrists, Almanzo spoke around the apple he was eating.

"Andy you should have untied me, that would have been a better idea."

Both boys looked over at him. He was sucking apple juice off each of his fingers.

~o~

"I think there are too many volunteers," Ivan told them.

"We've already lost the two boys I think some of you should go back home."

"Thoroughly agree," Percival nodded. "Come Nelly, we can be home before my choir practice meeting if we hurry."

"I was talking about the women," Ivan pointed out.

"It's going to be a long arduous journey. It could take days perhaps even weeks to track them down. We could be accosted by Indians, bandits, vigilantes. If we are captured you women could be ravaged brutally right in front of us with no thought for your dignity or marital status."

"No that's not likely," John shook his head. "The story would be in the M section if anything like that was going to happen."

"Still and all, I don't like to take risks. I want the women to go home, you can escort them," he gestured to Percival.

The little mans bespectacled face lit up at that prospect.

Laura stepped forward.

"Look Buster, I don't know who you are but I'm engaged to that man captured in the wilderness. I'm engaged and I am expecting the best round of hot rough, steaming sex anyone's ever had on their wedding night."

"Half pint!"

"No Pa, it has to be said.

Now just maybe you're used to treating woman like that at the U.N.C.L.E but it won't work here. Now CAN the lecture and do your job, daylights wasting,"

With that Laura went to a horse and threw herself up into the saddle using only one hand.

Ivan pouted looking actually a little hurt.

"That's my girl," Caroline beamed around at everyone.

~o~

Adam was impressed, the boys could really sing. They did a harmony they had learnt in Sunday School to Amazing Grace and it was impressive, brought a small tear to Hoss's eye.

The fire burnt brightly in camp littered with bones from a wild rabbit and some crusts of bread. The boys hadn't realized how hungry they were. After a fill of rabbit, bread, corn on the cob and even blueberry pie they were actually feeling sleepy. So nice to have your food handed up to you for a change, not having to hunt for it.

"Now we only have one spare blanket," Adam told them, "but you're small you can both fit under it. Now does anyone need to go before you bed down?"

Both boys shook their heads.

"We went before we entered camp," Albert told him.

"Now are you sure because it's a long night and you've just had juice."

Andy looked to Albert, his face a little uncertain.

Adam got up, he untied Andy's ankles and pulled him into a standing position.

"Just say it, we're not animals. I wouldn't expect anyone to hold it all night or wet themselves. I was once in a desert with this crazy man. He made me work on his mine and he wouldn't allow me a toilet break, well I was so embarrassed. I didn't have a spare pair of pants with me and there's nothing worse than being wet and miserable is there?"

Andy walked along beside him hardly knowing what to make of this conversation and wishing he had insisted Albert come with them.

Soon they were back in camp and both boys were tucked up in their blanket for the night.

They tensed up as Hoss approached and crouched beside them.

"Say would you fellers like a story. I ain't much for reading but I can still remember the stories Adam told me when I was bout your age."

"No, no," both boys shook their heads.

"Are you sure, cause I know this hum dinger about a little feller an a princess and a spinning wheel."

"No," they shook their heads.

"We're fourteen so…."

"No thank you sir."

"Well ok but if you git scared in the night you jist holler an old Hoss will be over to ye in a shot."

The big man smiled as he pulled the blanket up around their shoulders and adjusted it around their limbs.

"There you go, snug as a bug. Now remember if ye want anything just holler."

He moved off then and went to sit with Adam. The two boys looked at each other wondering why in the world didn't they just stay with the rest of the team.

With traumatized faces they lay down and tried to sleep.