Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I do own all of the OC's, but none of the characters that appear in the manga or anime. I don't own any of them.
I was going to make this into two chapters, but they were too short on their own. So it has become one big mega chapter, with a whole 7,894 words. Hope you enjoy!
Last Time:
Remember what they say about assuming? I have a feeling you're about to screw this up AGAIN!
You are paranoid. Sesshoumaru cut off the conversation there. Kagome had accepted him as her mate, and nothing would be able to change that now. He smirked as he returned to the castle. He'd like to see anyone try to interfere.
CHAPTER 27: ASSUMPTIONS MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME
Sesshoumaru had been busy with the preparations for the Farewell Banquet all morning. Mostly because the theme had been changed to celebrate his mating, which would happen after everyone else left.
He growled in frustration as he stared at the paperwork. He wasn't going to be ready in time if he didn't stop thinking about Kagome!
Mentally, he checked for the necklace's location, and found it in one of the gardens. He stood, no longer bothering to rationalize his need to see his miko. Of course, that didn't mean he would just appear out of the blue. Instead, he stood at one of the windows and looked down. What he saw had him growling.
Kagome sat with Kohaku, giggling about some nonsense. He focused his hearing on the two of them, ignoring the instincts that clamored for her to be kept away from mother males.
". . . really, Kohaku?" Kagome said. "I don't mind at all." She giggled again as Kohaku frowned.
"I'm serious, Kagome." Kohaku said. "I don't trust him."
"I don't either, really." Kagome soothed, placing a hand on his. "But he seems to have changed. I think I'll give him a chance to prove it."
"Are you forgetting that he's hurt you?" Kohaku shouted. "He kicked you out, and didn't bother to apologize or look back."
Kagome flinched for a moment, then turned away. "I haven't forgotten."
"Has he even apologized?" Kohaku asked. Kagome remained silent. "He hasn't, has he?"
"It's not like I'm mating him or anything!" Kagome snapped. "I'm just taking a job here. Nothing more, and nothing less. I don't need an apology to do that."
Kohaku snorted. "Right. Because all he wants from you is another healer." Kagome turned to him, about to retort, but Kohaku cut her off. "I've been around that hentai monk enough to know the kind of looks he gives you."
"You're delusional if you think those are the looks he's been giving." Kagome whispered. "I'm nothing to him. Not like that anyway."
She started to walk away, but Kohaku caught her arm. "Kagome, I'm. . . I'm sorry." He said. "I'm just worried about you. I don't want to see you like. . . that again."
Kagome smiled and hugged her foster brother. "I won't be. He doesn't have enough of a hold on me."
Sesshoumaru nearly growled at that. The human boy had too much of an effect on Kagome. He'd have to separate the two if he was to make any progress.
Don't you think that the bigger problem is that Kagome agreed to be our mate without knowing what she was agreeing to?
Why should that matter? Everything will proceed as planned. After all, if I am doing this, than that means our future self has already done it, and it worked. She will agree, and so I have no reason to worry.
But. . . oh forget it. Don't come crying to me when she kicks you out for good.
Sesshoumaru shook his head. His beast was truly very foolish to think that Kagome would do so.
!# Sarra #!
Sarra stood in Kagome's room and stared at each kimono in her closet critically. "They'll all have to go." She announced.
Kagome stared at her. "What in the world do you mean?"
"You're a representative of the Land of the West now." Sarra chided. "You're clothes must be perfection incarnate! And while they are practical, your clothes are hardly noteworthy."
Kagome scowled. "I like my kimonos."
"Do you want to disgrace Sesshoumaru-sama?" Sarra challenged.
"Doesn't sound like a bad idea." Kagome grumbled. They'd been in her room for an hour, sorting through everything Kagome owned. Even her makeup had been inspected thoroughly. She was getting rather tired of it.
Sarra threw Kagome's kimonos on the floor. "There's no helping it. We'll have to get you a whole new wardrobe."
"Don't you think that's over kill?" Kagome demanded.
Sarra smirked. "Nope!"
Kagome scowled and flopped on the bed with a huff. "Exactly what kind of clothes are you thinking of?"
"Something like the way that Rin-chan dresses." Sarra said.
"You mean with silks and frills and sparkles and flash?" Kagome said. "But I'd destroy those in like two minutes!"
"But those are what you need." Sarra said resolutely.
"But those aren't me." Kagome pleaded. "I would never wear those kinds of things, not voluntarily."
Sarra turned away. "I'm afraid that is what is required, Kagome-chan."
Kagome sighed. "I think I'm going to take a walk." She left then, and Sarra waited.
She didn't have to wait long before Sesshoumaru arrived. "Are you sure about this, Sesshoumaru-sama." Sarra asked. "She does not seem happy."
"She will become accustomed." Sesshoumaru responded. "She will be, after all, the Lady of the West."
Sarra folded up a kimono. "You are forcing her to become something she is not."
"She will be better for it." Sesshoumaru said. Then he left, intending to hunt down his intended.
Sarra watched him go, and a small tear fell from her eye. "You're going to lose her." She whispered. "Whether she stays or goes, you're going to lose her."
!# Yui #!
"Kagome! I'm glad I caught you." Yui shouted, snagging her friend's arm. Kagome sighed as she turned to Yui. She needed some of Kohaku's calm right now, and he was just a few feet away. But apparently, she needed to pay attention to Yui at the moment.
"What's on your mind, Yui?" Kagome asked warily.
"Well, I was just thinking, if you're taking a job with Sesshoumaru, then you're going to need to learn a few things." Yui said cheerily. "So why don't we get started?"
"Well actually, Yui, I was just going to. . ." She trailed off when she saw Yui's sad face. With a sigh, she took Yui's arm. "Alright, let's get started."
"Yay!" Yui shouted, pulling Kagome away with a giggle. She groaned to herself as she passed by Kohaku. She shot him an apologetic smile, which he returned before she was pulled out of sight.
Kohaku growled. Kagome had been away from everyone else all day. It was almost like. . .
No. Even Sesshoumaru wasn't stupid enough to think he could get away with keeping Kagome isolated from everyone. He couldn't possibly be that much of an idiot.
!# Kagome #!
Kagome was exhausted. All day, she'd been shuffled from one thing to another. She'd had lessons on manners, youkai behavior, how to dress, how to eat, how to order a servant, how to say yes while saying no. . . she was going insane! It was like everyone was trying to pile a life time's worth of knowledge into one day.
And any time she tried to tell them that she did not act this way, they would give her this disappointed look and say "Do you want to disgrace Sesshoumaru-sama?"
She almost did at this point. She was frustrated beyond belief with every single person in this stupid castle. She hadn't even been allowed downstairs for dinner, because the head healer wanted to teach her some new healing techniques. Not that she'd minded, but still.
She slunk through the halls, carefully checking for any sign of a demonic aura. She just wanted to see how Kohaku was doing. Once she spoke with him, she'd be fine. But she needed to make sure he was alright.
She ran down the hall and made it into his room in two seconds flat. "And Bingo was his name-o." She whispered. "I did it."
"Kagome! What the hell are you doing in here?" Kagome turned to see a mortified Kohaku peeking out from behind a doorway.
"I haven't seen you all day, and I wanted to say hi." Kagome said. She saw his obvious discomfort and frowned. "What's wrong?"
"I just got out of the hot springs."
"Oh. . . OH!" Kagome whirled and blushed before racing to one of the corners. "I won't peek, I swear! I didn't see anything."
She heard some sounds behind her, and silently prayed to every kami that no one walked in. This would be too embarrassing to try to explain.
After a moment, a hand tapped her shoulder. "Okay, you can look now."
She turned, her face still red. "Sorry about that." She said. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kohaku said dismissively. "You didn't see anything, after all."
Kagome nodded fervently. Kohaku chuckled and hugged his sister. "What's been up with you? You haven't been avoiding me, have you?"
"Not at all." Kagome said with a frown. "If I didn't know better, I'd say the entire castle has been trying to keep me away from the general population. I've only seen Yui, Sarra, Yuri, the head healer, Kai, and Sesshoumaru all day."
Kohaku shook his head. "What exactly have you been doing all day?"
"Sesshoumaru's piano lesson, learning new healing spells, fixing my wardrobe, learning manners, replacing half of my stuff." Kagome shrugged. "Basically, getting ready to become permanent staff."
Kohaku gave her a confused look. "Why would you need to know all that?"
"Heck if I know." Kagome said with a frown. "But, whatever."
Kohaku started to speak, but then shut his mouth. Kagome noticed and smiled. "Talk to me, Kohaku."
Kohaku stuck his tongue out at her, causing her to giggle. "What if they're up to something?"
Kagome laughed. "Kami, you're paranoid, Kohaku."
She bent in half, continuing to laugh. After a moment, Kohaku joined her. "Maybe you're right." He continued to laugh, until he saw the necklace that fell from inside her shirt. He froze and sat staring at the necklace.
"Kohaku?" Kagome asked. "What's wrong?"
Kohaku grabbed the necklace, his face dark. "When were you going to tell me about this?"
Kagome stared at him, a bit scared. "What, the necklace?"
"Yes, the necklace!" Kohaku would have been growling if he was a demon.
Nervously, Kagome swallowed. "It was a gift, from Sesshoumaru. His way of apologizing for leaving me with the snakes."
Kohaku dropped the necklace with a scowl. "Don't play me for a fool, Kagome! I know what this necklace means!"
Kagome glared at him. "Don't you yell at me, Kohaku. This necklace was just a gift, nothing more!"
Kohaku looked at her. "Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't know what this means?"
Kagome locked eyes with his. "I have absolutely no idea what kind of hidden meaning this necklace has."
Kohaku's eyes flickered back and forth between the necklace and her face before he decided she was telling the truth. "He didn't tell you anything?"
Kagome was worried now. "What should he have told me, Kohaku?"
Kohaku sighed and leaned against the wall. "That pendant on your necklace is the sign of the Land of the West."
Kagome waited. "So?"
"So, anyone who wears anything with the sign of the West on it is considered belonging to the Lord of the West." Kohaku explained.
Kagome looked angry, but not as upset as she should have been. "Well, I suppose technically, I belong to him, since I'm working for him." She grumbled. "But that would have been nice to know beforehand."
Kohaku shook his head. "Kagome, let me finish. Most of the servants have the sign of the west on their clothing, right?" Kagome nodded. "That's because clothing can be taken on and off at will. But when someone is given jewelry with a land's sign on it, it is normally sealed so that it can never be taken off."
Kagome shook her head. "That's absurd."
"Have you tried?" Kohaku challenged.
Kagome shrugged. "No, not really." Kohaku gave her a look, and she sighed. "Fine." She reached around her neck, intending to take off the necklace. She felt around, but couldn't find an end. With a frown, she tried to pull it over her head. But as she raised it, it began to glow, something Kagome recognized from when InuYasha had tried to take off his beads of subjugation.
She turned to Kohaku in a panic. "What does this mean?"
Kohaku looked just as upset as she was. "It means that you have been accepted into the Lord of the West's family." He was too shocked to be angry. "I think. . . the Lord of the West has chosen his mate." He whispered. "Kagome. . . he's chosen you."
Kagome froze for a minute, the words echoing in her head.
"I'M HIS WHAT!"
!# Sesshoumaru #!
"Are you sure about this, Sesshoumaru?" Kai asked uneasily.
"Yes, I am sure." Sesshoumaru watched as the servants quickly moved Kagome's things from her current room to the Lady of the West's room, directly beside his. Kai was starting to get on his nerves. Ever since he'd given Kagome her necklace, Kai had questioned him every few minutes. Was he sure about keeping her away from Kohaku? Was he sure about replacing her possessions? Was he sure about teaching her youkai traditions? Was he sure about teaching her manners? Was he sure about making her into the perfect Lady of the West?
Idiotic questions.
"I'M HIS WHAT!"
Kagome's scream echoed throughout the castle. Kai looked around quickly. "Oh, would you look at the time! I have. . . something to do at the. . . place!" He fled, leaving Sesshoumaru to face Kagome's wrath.
He didn't have to wait long. Kagome stormed down the hall, ignoring the demons that stopped to bow to her. "SESSHOUMARU! YOU POMPOUS. . . YOU FUCKING BASTARD ASSHOLE!" Kagome screamed.
Sesshoumaru felt a small shiver of what might be called fear, but he didn't waver for a moment. "You should revise your language, Miko."
"DON'T YOU MIKO ME, YOU RIDICULOUS EXCUSE FOR A LORD!" Kagome screeched, purposely pitching her voice to the highest octave to hurt his ears. "WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT ME BEING YOUR MATE!"
Sesshoumaru waited until the ringing in his ears stopped, but by that time, Kagome had begun to rant. "DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY! AS IF I WOULDN'T NOTICE THAT YOU'VE KEPT ME AWAY FROM EVERYONE BUT YOUR ALLIES! AND YOU'RE TRYING TO REMODEL ME IN EVERY ASPECT!"
Sesshoumaru knew she was beyond any kind of fury he'd ever seen. So he waited until she'd run out of steam, knowing that she was close. Or so he thought.
"And another thing, you overzealous asshole!" She screamed.
"Kagome, relax." Kohaku had finally caught up. He placed a hand on Kagome's shoulder, ignoring the warning growl that emanated from Sesshoumaru. "You can't think when you're this furious."
Kagome stopped her rant and took a deep breath. And another. Then she slowly lifted Kohaku's hand off her shoulder, quieting Sesshoumaru's growls. "Thanks, Kohaku." She whispered. "But I need to do this on my own now."
Kohaku smiled and bowed. "As my lady commands." He ducked Kagome's fist.
"Little imp!" Kagome shouted. But a smile decorated her face as he ran off. She turned back to Sesshoumaru, keeping her mask firmly in place. "Explain. Now."
"You are to be my mate." Sesshoumaru said. "As such, you are expected to look and act in a certain way. You were to be taught."
Kagome took another deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me what the necklace really was instead of lying to me?"
"You would not have accepted it."
Kagome was starting to see red. She took another deep breath. "Why do you want me to be your mate?"
"Because you are destined for me." Sesshoumaru answered, thinking of his future self.
Kagome wasn't going to be able to contain herself, since she had a feeling that she wouldn't like the answer to her next question. "And what makes you think I will be your mate now?"
Sesshoumaru smirked. "That necklace around your neck signifies that you are mine. No one else, demon or human, will be able to have you but me."
Kagome could feel herself shaking. "What made you think that I would accept all this?"
"It was foretold that you would be mine." Sesshoumaru said simply.
Kagome had never been so furious in her entire life. "Don't I get a say in any of this?" She saw he was about to answer, and she cut him off. "Don't answer that." She began to glow, and her aura crackled around her dangerously. As she glowed, she grabbed at the necklace around her neck. She pulled it up to her chin, and it refused to budge. She flooded her power into the necklace, and it glowed even brighter.
"I reject your claim!" She shouted. All at once, the necklace's glow grew blinding, and with a last push, Kagome felt the power in the necklace shatter. She dropped it, wincing at the burns on her hands.
Sesshoumaru blinked away the dots from his eyes and saw that she still wore the necklace. "As you can see, Miko, the necklace's spell cannot be broken."
Kagome looked straight into his eyes, and Sesshoumaru redefined the definition of scary. He'd never seen so much anger, pain, hurt, and betrayal than in those eyes. Slowly and deliberately, she reached for the necklace. She lifted it easily off of her head and threw it at his feet.
"You rejected me for loving you." She whispered, though her voice seemed to resonate throughout the room. "You tricked me. You manipulated me. You isolated me from my friend, and you tried to change me. And you claim to want me as your mate?" She felt her voice crack on the word mate and knew she was close to tears. "So what if it was foretold, or some other load of crap? To be completely honest, I couldn't care less. I want someone who loves me."
Sesshoumaru was frozen, still staring at the necklace at his feet. At the word love, he looked up. He opened his mouth, as if about to say something, then closed it.
Kagome saw it all, and felt a humorless laugh bubble up from her chest. She couldn't stop it from bursting out anymore than she could stop the tears that had started to leak from her eyes. "You never loved me, and you certainly don't now. Even if you could say the words, your actions speak louder and with much more force. Love means knowing what that person wants, what they need to be happy, and doing anything in your power to get it for them. Even if it means giving them up and letting them go." She saw one of the servants with her traveling bag and took it from him.
"I won't be with someone without the capability to love me." She said, swinging the backpack onto her back. "And I won't be with someone who plays with me." She didn't turn as she left. But she did stop in the doorway to the stairs. "You had my heart in your hands, Sesshoumaru. And not only did you claw it to pieces, but just as it was starting to heal, you tore it back up. Well I can promise you, you'll never have another like it."
Kagome walked away, leaving Sesshoumaru to stare after her.
!# Amaterasu #!
Amaterasu had banned everyone from her viewing room but herself, Inugami and InuTaisho. InuTaisho sat back as he watched Kagome walk away. "That idiot son of mine." He whispered. "Not even she could break the wall around his heart."
"But she did!" Amaterasu snarled. "Dammit, look at him. His aura is in chaos, and he's barely keeping himself together. So why doesn't he show any of it?"
"It's that damn inuyoukai pride." Inugami said bitterly. "I was a fool to include it."
Amaterasu shook her head, unable to comprehend this scene. "He has no one but himself to blame for this failure."
Inugami hugged Amaterasu for a moment. "I'm sorry, Ama-chan."
Amaterasu sighed. "Damn it. I'm going to have to kill him now."
"Wait! You can't give up!" InuTaisho shouted. "Amaterasu, you were the only one who believed in the two of them. You can't give up on them now!"
Amaterasu looked at InuTaisho, and a small smile managed to creep its way across her face. "I will watch, for now." Amaterasu decided. "If there is even a slight chance that she still loves him, I will intercede on his behalf." She turned back to the mirror. "But if she has lost all love for him, then it is beyond my power."
!# Sesshoumaru #!
Sesshoumaru woke up knowing that he'd been wrong. He shouldn't have assumed she'd just go along with whatever he said. He knew her better than that, or at least he should have. He sighed. He'd have to apologize for everything, from his initial rejection five months ago to the present day.
He arrived at Kagome's door before breakfast, but didn't knock or anything. He waited outside her door, knowing that she would eventually have to come out for breakfast. He would wait until she left.
He waited for three hours before Yui found him. She bowed quickly, assessing the situation with an expert eye. She looked down at him, and knew that he had to know. "Sesshoumaru-sama?" Yui said softly.
Sesshoumaru didn't say a word, but he flicked his eyes to her.
"Kagome is no longer here."
Sesshoumaru turned his head to her, his eyes frozen. Yui gulped before continuing. "She left last night with Kohaku-san. It was right after. . ." She didn't know what to call it, but Sesshoumaru knew what she meant.
Abruptly, Sesshoumaru stood and bashed open the doors to Kagome rooms. It couldn't be true. She wouldn't do that to him!
He stepped inside, and something inside him died. The room looked as if it hadn't been touched in weeks, when he knew for a fact that Kagome had been in here only last night. Even her smell had disappeared from the room, probably a result of a purification spell. Her things were gone, and the room made up to perfection.
It was as if she never existed.
Sesshoumaru's brain short circuited. He didn't even fight as his beast took control and he transformed. When he roared, both his logical side and his beast spoke together.
WHERE IS OUR MATE?
!# Kagome #!
Kagome packed away another kimono. Shippou, Sango and Kohaku watched her pack, worry on both of their faces. Kagome kept a smile on her face even as her heart lay in ruins.
"Shippou, are you sure you want to stay?" Kagome asked.
While Kagome had been at Sesshoumaru's palace, Shippou had been staying with a kitsune family that lived near the demon slayer village. They had been teaching him more about his powers, and they now offered him the chance to learn more by adopting him into their family.
"I'm sure, Kagome." Shippou said. "But you know I'll come if you want me to."
Kagome shook her head, and ruffled his hair. "You're growing up really well, Shippou. You know what will make you happy." She hugged Shippou one last time. "I'll stop by and see you before I leave tomorrow, okay?"
"Alright." Shippou said, returning the hug. "See you then." He left, and the two adults left in the room turned serious.
"Are you sure about this?" Kohaku asked. He knew the answer, but he had to ask.
"Yup!" Kagome said. "I was always happier moving around than staying in one place anyway. I think traveling will be good for me." She smiled as she packed away another kimono. "I've never done this, just traveling on my own. It'll be a whole new experience for me.
Sango watched her look over a kimono critically before nodding and folding it up. "This is my fault." Sango muttered.
"Don't you dare blame yourself, Sango." Kagome said, glaring at her friend. "There was no way you could predict his. . . Sesshoumaru-ness."
"But it was my idea." Sango said, biting her lip as she thought of her friend in so much pain. "If I hadn't told the stupid council that you had previous dealings with Sesshoumaru, and then suggested that you should go, you wouldn't have had to deal with it all."
"You are not responsible for Sesshoumaru's actions, Sango." Kagome said. "Unless you used some super secret slayer method to force Sesshoumaru to bend to your will, this is entirely his fault."
"Are you sure you want to leave things like this?" Kohaku asked.
"I made myself perfectly clear." Kagome said. "Unless he can get over himself, we have no future. I'm not going to hold on to something that has no chance of continuing." She looked at the kimono in her hands, then turned to Sango. "Do you want this? It never looked good on me."
"More my color than yours." Sango said absently. "Kagome, are you completely sure? You can always change your mind you know."
"I think this will be good for me." Kagome said, a soft smile on her face. "No destination, no rush or hurry. Just traveling wherever fate leads me or where I want to go. It'll be more fun than anything I've done before."
"We could come with you." Kohaku offered.
But Kagome just shook her head. "No. Sango, you've got Miroku, along with Kohaku junior and Miyu. And Kohaku, you're just starting to get back on track. I couldn't ask anyone to come with me." Kagome packed away a blanket, then zipped her well worn bag shut. "Well, I think that's everything except what I'll need for tomorrow."
Sango sighed. "Alright. But don't hesitate to contact us if you need anything." She hugged her sister tightly, willing away the moisture in her eyes. "Anything."
"You know I will." Kagome answered.
Kohaku just stood there with a frown on his face until Kagome hugged him too. "I'll miss you both. I'll try to keep in touch."
"You'd better." Kohaku mumbled.
Then the two of them left Kagome so she could finish what she needed done.
"Are you sure about this?" Kagome whirled, then relaxed when she saw who had invaded her home.
"Yes, Amaterasu-sama. I am." Kagome turned back to her bag and lugged it to the door.
"He's hurting, you know." Amaterasu said casually. "He suffers as much as you do."
Kagome bit her lip, but didn't allow her emotions to color her voice. "I won't be with someone who doesn't love me."
"Oh, but he does!" Amaterasu declared. "He loves you enough to be just as stupid as any other man who falls in love. His heart is yours, if you want it. Don't let go of him just to satisfy your pride. One's no good without the other."
Kagome shook her head. "You're asking me to go to him."
"I'm asking you to listen to what your heart is saying. Not your head, not your logic. What does your heart say about him?"
Kagome sighed. "It says that I love him. That I'll always love him. That I'll never be able to love another because I gave him my heart. He destroyed it."
"He didn't value it as he should." Amaterasu admitted. "He was afraid of it."
Kagome laughed. "Sesshoumaru doesn't fear anything."
"Only a fool fears nothing, Kagome." Amaterasu said quietly. "Would you call him a fool?"
Kagome sighed. "Regardless, he doesn't fear me."
"No. He fears the emotions you invoke in him." Amaterasu sighed. "For someone like Sesshoumaru, someone who has locked away his emotions at such an early age and grew up believing that emotions were a weakness, strong emotions like love are the scariest things they know."
Kagome stared at her bag, her resolve forming. "If he loves me. . ." Her knees weakened at the thought. "He'll have to admit it. He'll have to take me as an equal. I won't accept anything less."
Amaterasu laughed. "Oh, you'll do. You'll do quite well for him. It's about time someone stood up to him instead of rolling over." She extended a hand. "Would you like a lift?"
!# Sesshoumaru #!
A giant dog ran through the trees, chasing after the scent of yet another demon, another victim. He got close, and the demon realized at last the danger it was in. It turned to flee, but Sesshoumaru had already cut it down. Blood coated his claws and his muzzle, but he didn't even notice. All that mattered was the next victim, the next hunt, the next fight, the next pain, the next victory.
Anything to keep from thinking of her.
And yet even as he tried to forget, he threw back his head and howled for his mate. For the woman he'd so stupidly lost. All because of his own idiocy.
Oh yes, he tried his best to blame Kagome. She just hadn't wanted to see that he was right. That he was doing what was best for the both of them. She was being irrational and obstinate. She just had to insist on being right, even to the point of leaving because she couldn't face the truth.
Sometimes he almost convinced himself. Because blaming her was easier than facing the truth of his actions.
He was getting close to the palace again, not that he knew what it was. Mostly, he just knew that he was getting close to a lot of demons that he knew. Which meant he couldn't kill them.
Then he caught a new scent and howled. His mind must have been farther gone than he realized if he could smell her. A trick of the mind, that's all it was. She was gone.
But then why was her scent getting stronger and stronger as he approached his palace? His beast started tracking the scent, ignoring the scurrying servants that hid away from him. He walked through his halls, the scent getting stronger. Than it clicked in his brain: Kagome was here.
He raced down the halls, getting closer and closer to her scent. When he finally reached the throne room, he burst through the doors.
Kagome sat in his throne, wearing a form fitting neon blue and purple kimono. Her hair was down, reaching her waist. Her face held a smile, only slightly tinged with bitterness as Sesshoumaru came closer.
"Waiting for me to pet you, Sesshoumaru?" She asked. She saw the flash of anger in his eyes and just continued to smile.
Sesshoumaru growled slightly, but detransformed anyway. He faced her, hurt and anger radiating off of him in waves. Her damn perfect smile only made things worse. "You left without a word."
"I thought we had plenty of words." Kagome answered.
"And now you're back."
"So it would seem." Kagome looked around the room, frowning slightly at the damage done to it. "You're going to need a new decorator to help you with this mess, Sesshoumaru." She said casually. "Not to mention the labor to put your walls back together."
"My palace is none of your concern." Sesshoumaru snapped. She was talking about decorations like this?
"You should let Rin handle it." Kagome continued, ignoring his interruption. "And speaking of Rin, is she alright?"
"Rin is well."
"She was so upset when I told her I was leaving. I'll have to see her before I go-"
"I want you back." Sesshoumaru clenched his jaw and fisted his hands. He hadn't meant to say it. Especially with that tone of need. The words had simply spewed out. He crossed his arms, looking all the world like a sullen teenager. To hell with it. "I want you back."
"For what?"
Sesshoumaru blinked. "For what do you think? I want you by me as Lady of the West."
"It's hardly that simple."
Sesshoumaru growled and started to speak, something hot-tempered and ill advisable, then stopped himself. His control might be shaky-- Kami, just look at her-- but it was still there. "Alright. I've hurt you. I'm. . . I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention, and I regret it."
"Oh, so you're sorry. Let me just jump into your arms." Sesshoumaru looked up in shock at the bitter tone in her voice.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked desperately. "I made a mistake. I don't like admitting it."
"Well you're going to have to." Kagome snapped. "When you decided you didn't want me, you sent me away. Then when you decided I was worthy of your attentions, you isolated me. You harassed me, and you tried to make me something I'm not."
"It wasn't that black and white." Sesshoumaru tried, knowing that sometimes the gray areas didn't matter. "But yes, that's the general idea. It wasn't easy for me."
"It wasn't easy for me either." Kagome countered, anger blazing in her eyes. "But I'll bet you didn't think of that."
She stood then and turned away. Sesshoumaru had started forward before he'd even realized he'd moved. "Don't go."
Kagome froze at the desperation in those two words. She'd only meant to pace off a bit of her temper, but obviously Sesshoumaru had gotten the wrong idea.
"Damn it all! Do you know what it was like for me, to go to your rooms and find you gone? The entire palace empty of you, and yet still full of you. I wanted to hunt you down and drag you back to where I wanted you. Where I needed you."
"But you didn't."
Sesshoumaru ran a clawed hand through his hair. "No, I didn't. Because you were, and still are, right. Every choice has been mine. If your choice was to leave, then I didn't have the right to stop you." Kagome didn't answer, and Sesshoumaru tried again. "I'm asking you now not to leave me again, to not make me live without you. You matter to me."
Kagome raised an eyebrow. "I matter to you? Small words for what you're asking."
"I care about you."
"I care about the way I dress. If that's all-" She started to turn away again, but Sesshoumaru grabbed her arm.
"I love you! Damn it, you know I do!"
Kagome glanced down at his hand, which was almost holding her tight enough to draw blood. She used the time it took him to realize what he was doing to calm her raging emotions. She wanted to melt into his arms then and there. But she couldn't back down yet.
He saw where she was looking, and quickly released her arm. He went to check the wound, but she pulled away. Looking him square in the eyes, she answered his challenge. "We've established that I can't read minds. So how do I know what you don't tell me?"
"I'm telling you now, or are you deaf as well as stupid?" Sesshoumaru growled, turning to pace around the throne room. Kagome let him go as he spoke. "I tried telling myself that I wouldn't love you, that I wouldn't until I decided about the risks and benefits. But I couldn't control it." He glared at her, as if it was her fault. "And I don't like it."
"You don't have to like it."
"I was content the way I was before."
"No you weren't." The answer surprised them both, but Kagome knew she spoke the truth. "You were restless, lost, and just a little bored. And so was I."
"You think I should have told you the moment I had feelings for you." Sesshoumaru growled. "But I needed time, and so did you. Neither of us was ready for what was needed to make this work." He turned another glare on her. "And you enjoyed every moment of this as much as I did."
Since those words contained a challenge, Kagome shrugged. "I don't remember saying I didn't. But still, every event was your choice."
"I'd make the same choices again, if only to have the memories." Any control Sesshoumaru had was gone now. He was half-crazed with desperation. She couldn't leave. . . She just couldn't. Not again. "It's not easy for me to admit that I want you. Or to ask that you forgive me for doing what I thought was right."
The two of them remained silent for a moment. Then Kagome spoke again. "You've yet to tell me what you want of me."
"I think I've been clear enough." Sesshoumaru snarled. "What do you want me to do? Beg?"
Kagome paused, considering the idea. Then she nodded. "Yes, I do."
Sesshoumaru stared at her in shock for a moment. Her eyes told him that she half-joking. But only half.
His eyes turned dark with what Kagome thought was anger. He came forward quickly and grabbed her hands. Then Kagome's eyes widened as Sesshoumaru went to his knees. "Then I will. I'll beg for you, Kagome."
"Sesshoumaru-"
"If I'm going to humble myself, then let me get on with it." Sesshoumaru snapped. "Kagome, you couldn't be ordinary if you tried. Weak is never something that I would associate you with. When I look at you, I don't see a human. I see a woman who wants everyone to be happy, even if it means a sacrifice on her part. You are the one I want by my side throughout the centuries. I want you as my mate, my wife, my life partner. I don't care about the title, as long as you're with me."
Kagome almost couldn't speak. She'd never imagined he could have such a speech in him. "Why didn't you ask before?"
"Asking is not easy for me. It may be arrogance, and it may be pride, but it is part of who I am. I am asking you to accept me in spite of it." He looked up then, somehow managing to look like the intimidating taiyoukai she knew even while on his knees. "You love me. I know you do."
So much for begging. Kagome thought, fighting back a smile. "I never said I didn't. Are you asking for more?"
"I'm asking you to be my mate, to leave what you know behind and know that it's forever." He kissed her hands softly. "When inuyoukai mate, they are mates for life. I want you as my mate, my lady, and my pup's mother. I want you because you're the only one I've ever loved. And I'm asking it to be enough."
Kagome paused a moment, impressing the memory into her mind. Sesshoumaru was never one for flowery speeches, and there would never be another moment like this again. As she did so, she heard a low whine, and felt Sesshoumaru's fear. Amaterasu was right. Even Sesshoumaru can be afraid.
Slowly, Kagome lowered herself to her knees in front of Sesshoumaru, her eyes locking with his. "I will take you, Sesshoumaru. And I won't accept anything less than forever. You'll be mine, and I'll be yours. I will be your mate, and your partner. Nothing more and nothing less than that." She took his hand, and together they stood.
Sesshoumaru grasped her hand like a lifeline. "Are those your only terms?"
Kagome thought for a moment. "Actually, no." Sesshoumaru smiled. Somehow he knew there would be more. But he'd do it, if only to make her happy.
"Shall I get you money and jewels?" He asked, glee at her acceptance making him more playful and carefree than when he was a pup. "Fine robes?"
"I want to be courted." Sesshoumaru stared at her, and she blushed slightly. "It might seem silly to you, but I've never actually dated, nor have I ever been courted. I certainly think. . . No, I know that I deserve to be courted."
Sesshoumaru pulled her into him, enveloping her in his scent. "You do deserve it." He whispered as he nuzzled his face into her hair. "And this Sesshoumaru agrees."
Kagome smiled, returning the hug with enthusiasm. "Then you'd better get started." She said after a moment. "Because who knows. Maybe some other youkai will catch my eye, and you'll lose."
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. "This Sesshoumaru never loses." But the teasing tone in his words took away from the arrogance they displayed, and Kagome shook her head with a smile.
"No, you never do." Kagome whispered as Sesshoumaru pulled her in for the most memorable kiss either of them would ever have.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------Author's Rant-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Horse Wolves: Hey, everybody. I have some very unfortunate news for you. Do to some internal conflict, OG will not be appearing in this Author's Rant.
Sesshoumaru: Correction. She will not be appearing in ANY author's rants ever again.
Horse Wolves: Sesshoumaru, there's only this one and the epilogue's.
Sesshoumaru: But what if she writes another story?
Kagome: She wouldn't dare! Not after what we've done to her!
Horse Wolves: Due to the rating of this story, we are going to leave what's been done to her up to your imaginations.
Sesshoumaru: She is ten feet below ground.
Kagome: In a steel cage.
Sesshoumaru: Surrounded by lava.
Kagome: [sighs] I wish I could hear her screaming.
Sesshoumaru: [smirks] We are not all so lucky to be demons.
Horse Wolves: Anyway, there's just one more chapter left my friends. So until then [picks up a shovel] I have to dig up my friend.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------End of Author's Rant-----------------------------------------------------------------------
