"You…" I would have told something to Murtagh, but I couldn't in front of my child. Dorian just shook his head; he was trying hard not to cry. I've hurt him more than I could imagine.
"I want you to leave." Dorian said, avoiding to look at me "I don't want to see you again. Ever."
"Dorian, I really…I'm sorry." I whispered, but I knew it was useless "Alright. I'll leave. But you have to know I didn't want this to happen. I really loved you."
"Do you really think that means something to me in this situation?" he looked at me coldly "Take the boy, but Elisabeth stays with me. She's my daughter. It's not good for her to grow up next to a woman like you."
I wanted to protest, but Murtagh grabbed my arm and gave me a sign not to say anything. I got nervous; I couldn't just leave my daughter. Besides, I didn't really have where to go. But still I didn't know Murtagh's plan.
Dorian went back to the house and Max, who actually woke up from all the noise, stared at me in confusion.
"You got what you wanted. Now what?" I looked angrily at Murtagh. I wasn't going to leave without my daughter. And I didn't care what he thought about it. Maybe he didn't want Elisabeth with us. But did he even want me or just our son?
"Tell me you didn't want this." he whispered into my ear, putting his hands gently around my waist. He was standing so close to me and made me shiver. His lips on my neck, his hands on my back…he was driving me crazy and he knew that.
"Murtagh…" I said, forgetting completely about everything. Did he really have such an impact on me? Oh yes, he did. He knew he was my weakness and he used it who knows what for. He kissed me and I forced myself to move away from him.
"I'm not going anywhere without my daughter." I said. He rolled his eyes and I frowned; this wasn't good. He didn't care. He really didn't care how I felt.
"Ok. Take Elisabeth." he said it like my daughter was a thing. And he said it like it was easy for me to do that.
"I would…but Dorian won't let me." I said. Then I realized someone was pulling my dress.
"Mommy?" Max didn't understand what was going on.
"Max, not now." it really wasn't the right time to explain something I wasn't even sure I could explain "Stay here. We have to go…somewhere."
"Do you want Elisabeth or not?" Murtagh asked.
"Yes, I want my daughter!" I said desperately "I've already told you that!"
"Then wait here. I'll be right back." he said. I watched him as he went to the house. I took a deep breath. This wasn't supposed to happen. Part of me was happy Murtagh came, the other part felt guilty. I didn't even want to think about my future.
Max was still looking at me. I stared at his eyes. I gasped. No! I ran to the house, but it was too late. I should have known. Murtagh was standing over Dorian's dead body. Tears appeared in my eyes and I think I screamed. His sword was covered in blood and I heard Elisabeth crying in the other room.
My mind was a mess. I just stood there in shock. I don't remember moving or even breathing. It seemed like everything I knew was over. The time had stopped for me. I wasn't sure what I felt but it was horrible.
I didn't know how much time had passed until Murtagh grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house. He was carrying Elisabeth with him and she was crying just like I was.
"Amarantha, come on!" Murtagh urged me to go but my body was rigid. I wasn't even controlling my body anymore. I felt nothing…
I don't remember what had happened after. I just know the dragon appeared. And I remember Murtagh held the children and he gave me the egg to hold it. The next the thing I knew, we were in some castle. I had no idea where exactly it was. I didn't care.
"Mommy, why are we here?" Elisabeth came closer to me. I was just sitting on the bed and staring at the wall in front of me.
"Mommy?" Elisabeth was worried "Where is Daddy?"
"Daddy…he's not here." I whispered and started to cry.
"Why are you crying, mommy?" Elisabeth hugged me and I pressed her tightly to my chest.
"Daddy went…somewhere." I said, choking on my own tears "We won't see him…for some time…"
"Why?" she cried "I want my Daddy!"
"Eli, honey…" I whispered to her ear and kissed the top of her head "I know you want to see Daddy…but he loves you and he'll take care of you…just you can't see him…"
"Why?" she looked up at me.
"I don't know, honey." I said "I don't know."
"Where is Max?" suddenly asked Elisabeth and I realized we were alone in the room.
It was a large room with a huge bed in the middle, which I was sitting on. There were even chairs and desk in the corner and two closets. Everything in the room was probably made with special care. The ornaments were amazing. The room was mostly white with black and dark brown details.
But where was Murtagh? Where was Max? I got up from the bed abruptly and headed for the door. I had no idea where I was going. I'd never been in that castle before. Elisabeth came after me.
We went down the hall, but every door I'd opened was wrong. There were more huge rooms, but they were empty. I wasn't even sure was someone there except us. Maybe Murtagh took his son and left me and Elisabeth in abandoned castle. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had done that.
After some time of walking through the dark hall, we came to one room even bigger than the others. How big this castle actually was? I couldn't even imagine. Or maybe I was just used to seeing small rooms of my house…my old house.
I was surprised; Murtagh was actually there. I gasped when I saw Max smiling at Murtagh. Elisabeth stared at them in shock, just like I did.
"Mommy, why is Max playing with the stranger?" Elisabeth asked and whispered "That man is dangerous."
"Why do you say that?" I was surprised.
"I saw it." she whispered "He was in my dream."
"Eli, what did you dream?" I got worried. Elisabeth had a vision about Murtagh. What if she knew more than I did?
"She dreamed nothing!" Murtagh laughed as he took Max into his arms.
My son seemed to be so happy. I looked at them nervously. Max didn't know who his father really was. And he still trusted people too much. But there was just no way to explain him that he wasn't supposed to play with people he didn't know. But then again, I'd told him Murtagh was a friend. My mistake.
"Where are we?" I asked "I have to talk to you."
"We're safe." he smiled "Well, I'm here…talk!"
"Not in front of my children." I said.
"Ok. Elisabeth, why don't you take your brother to your room?" Murtagh put Max down, while Elisabeth was getting nervous.
"You're not my Daddy!" Elisabeth yelled "Can't tell me what to do."
"You're right, sweetie." Murtagh's eyes shined dangerously and I bit my lip. She wasn't safe here.
"Eli, please, take Max with you. I'll be right there." I said and they left the room.
"How could you?" I said coldly, but he kept smiling.
"Relax." he said "You're just in shock. You should be fine in a week."
"Fine?" I raised an eyebrow "My husband is dead and you say I'm just in shock!"
"You don't know what he thought about you!" he seemed angry.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"You know I can get into people's minds." he said "He was going to kill himself and your precious daughter."
"What? No! You're lying." I couldn't believe such a thing. Dorian would have never done something like that. He wasn't that kind of person.
"Fine. I didn't expect you to believe." he shrugged "After all, he was your husband."
"And what now?" I asked "What do you want from me?"
"Amarantha…" he got closer to me, taking my hand "Please, we have to try…give me a chance. Give us a chance."
"Why would I do that?" I just couldn't let him do that to me again. But his hand was on my face and he smiled so beautifully…
"For our son." he whispered "For our…love."
"Alright." I knew it was probably another mistake. But I promised myself it would be the last one. I just had to know the truth. Every time I found a reason to hate him, he somehow made everything sound fake. I needed a chance to meet the real him.
I had to know was he good or evil. Or maybe both. This time for real; even I was sure my feelings for him would take over sooner or later. I still loved him.
"My love…" he smiled "You won't regret it."
As he was kissing me, I knew it was just another farce.
"You love Elisabeth more." Murtagh suddenly said while we were walking down the hall. Two weeks had passed by fast and everything seemed so perfect. But it wasn't like that. Elisabeth was avoiding Murtagh even more after we had tried to explain her what was going on. Actually we told her just that we wouldn't go back home. Max accepted it easily, if he even understood it. But he liked his real father.
"What?" I looked at him surprised.
"You love Elisabeth more than Max." he said.
"No, I don't." I said. I really didn't understand what he wanted with that.
"Can't you see it?" he said "You're all the time with her!"
"Don't you think I'm supposed to be all the time with her since she lost her father just two weeks ago?" I got upset. He had nothing to reproach me.
"Besides, Max is all the time with you. And I'm somehow sure you don't want to take care of my daughter too." I said. He looked at me for a moment.
"Why don't you join us?" he asked.
"Without Elisabeth?" I raised an eyebrow "I don't think so."
"We are a family now." he said.
"Really? And who knows about it? Just you and me?" I laughed "I believe your family is somewhere else, because I don't see her here. You're not my husband, you know."
"I'll deal with that soon." he frowned "It's over. I want to be with you and not with Nasuada."
"Tell me, why did you want me back? Would you be here if Nasuada gave you a son?" I asked.
"There's no point to talk about that. It didn't happen." he said.
"You could have taken Max away from me anytime you wanted." I said "Why didn't you do it?"
"I promised you I won't come for him." he said.
"Oh, so you came for something else…always finding loopholes in your promises, aren't you?" I smiled "It doesn't matter actually. But if you just want Max, you can have him."
"You would leave him?" he was on me in a second, pressing me roughly against the wall. He looked furious.
"Stop, you're hurting me!" I yelled. After a moment of silence, he moved away from me. He was staring at the wall while I tried to recover. He was so strong he almost broke my arm. But I was glad he hadn't used magic.
"Do you love me?" he asked, looking at me carefully. I've lost the count how many times he had asked me that.
"Yes." I said.
"Then why do you want to leave me?" he said.
"Because I believe you don't love me. I think you just want your son and not me." I said "I don't want to live like that. Not after everything what happened between us."
"But I love you! I need you here." he said.
"Yes, you need me." I said "Just I don't know what for."
"Max needs to have both parents." he said.
"And Elisabeth doesn't?" tears appeared in my eyes as I remembered Dorian.
"Elisabeth will be fine." he said "I promise nothing will happen to her."
What was that supposed to mean? What did his promise mean to me? That he wouldn't hurt my daughter? I was confused, but I knew one thing: he could never substitute Dorian in Eli's life.
"I'll give you a real second chance if you marry me." I said "And then we'll try to have a family."
"Why is it so important to you?" he said.
"I want to be happy. Not pretend I'm happy." I said "I've thought about this over and over. You can give me everything I want, but only if you really want that. And I need you to be Elisabeth's father too."
"She doesn't want it." he said.
"You have to try." I said "You're not doing anything to change her opinion, just making her hate you even more."
"But if I do that for you, then you start looking Max and Elisabeth equally." he said.
"Ok, whatever." I said "But I think we should stop planning things, because it doesn't go like that. I just can't…"
"You need to let me love you." he whispered.
"You don't know how to do that." I smiled. He was confused for a second. Then he realized what I meant.
"What?" he frowned.
"You don't know how to love...maybe you think you love me, but you keep ruining my life. You think only on yourself and you do only what benefits you!" I cried "You didn't have to kill my husband."
"But I did it for you…" he said desperately.
"No!" I yelled through tears "I never wanted that! If you loved me, you would have known I never wanted Dorian to die!"
He didn't say anything. He just walked away from me. I sank down to the floor, tears going down my face like a river. Someone touched my hand. I looked up.
"Why are you crying?" Max looked at me.
"Oh come here, baby." I hugged him tightly. I had to calm down and find Murtagh. I've told him something I wasn't supposed to. How could I possibly blame him for thinking only on himself, when I was doing the same?
