Again; it happened again. I felt like I was living in some magical circle. I just couldn't find my way out. I guess every normal person would learn from their mistakes, but I forgot one important thing: I was far from normal.

I took Max to another room where Elisabeth was. They were both so strangely quiet while I prepared them for bed. I didn't even notice how late it was. When my babies were finally asleep, I went to look for Murtagh.

Why I just couldn't remember where to go? That castle was seriously driving me crazy! I decided to go right. Of course, it was the wrong way. I realized that a few minutes later. It annoyed me a bit but I tried to stay as calm as I could. I just needed to have my mind clear.

I looked in every room, at least I thought that. But he wasn't there. Where did he go? I panicked. Then I saw another door. Oh, finally! I entered the room…ok, at first I wasn't even sure it was really a room because it was empty. Dark, cold, stone walls and nothing more; it looked more like a small hall to nowhere. I felt the fresh and cold air on my face. Murtagh was sitting on the window ledge.

It was so quiet I could almost hear the beating of my heart. The moon was the only source of light. I didn't know what to say, but then he turned to look at me.

"How did you find me?" he asked. Oh, I just searched the whole damn place! I hate this castle! But of course, I couldn't say that even he probably heard it in my mind.

"Umm, I was looking for you?" I said nervously. Maybe it was cold, but my hands were sweating. I didn't know how to say what I wanted, and without making it sound like something completely different.

"What do you want?" he asked and looked away from me, staring somewhere far outside. The night was really beautiful, but it wasn't the right time to get distracted.

"I came to explain…" I said.

"Explain?" he laughed "Explain what?"

"I didn't mean what I said…" I wished he would at least look at me, but that didn't happen.

"No, absolutely not!" he said.

"Would you at least let me try to say it?" I was impatient.

"Why?" he said "What difference does it make?"

"Well, I…" I didn't know what to say. He really didn't care, or maybe he did? I wasn't sure. I could never guess what he was thinking.

"Do you really think I'm a cold blooded murderer who killed your husband and who would hurt you or your children?" he asked. There was a hint of hurt in his voice. Or maybe it was just anger.

"I… I don't think that." I said nervously. Why couldn't he just look at me for a moment?

"You say that…but you think your daughter is in danger near me." he said coldly.

"It's not about you." I said "She's my daughter. I have to be precautious. I don't know where the danger is until it's usually too late."

"Even with me?" he said "If you don't know me, then your love is just a lie."

"No!" I said desperately "But you said and did so many things to me…I don't have your ability. I don't know when you are lying or what do you really want! How can I know what you really feel? Maybe you're playing with me right now…"

"Huh, then you were right. I don't know how to love." he laughed bitterly.

"But I…I didn't mean it." I almost yelled.

"You did and you still do." he said. I closed my eyes for a moment. Why was I even trying?

"Then prove me wrong." I said.

"I'm trying, but you don't let me!" he said, finally getting up and looking at me.

"The only reason why I can't feel comfortable near you is because you're so unpredictable and your father…" I said.

"Oh, again my father!" he yelled "What he has to do with anything?"

"They say you're just like him." I said and shivered. Pissing off a Dragon Rider wasn't really the best thing to do.

"They?" he raised an eyebrow "And you believe everything people say?"

"I don't know." I said.

"Do you really think I would like to see someone suffer like I did?" he was furious and he was getting closer to me. I took a step back. He looked at me and leaned on the wall, apparently trying not to make me even more frightened. His face was again like a perfect mask; expressionless. Only his eyes were showing the fire deep inside of him.

"I'm sorry." I said, tears forming in my eyes "But in my world you have to believe what others say because it's safer like that. I'm not brave enough to check it on my own…"

"So, I'm like some wild animal everyone told you to stay away from?" he smiled bitterly.

"Ye…no!" I said. But it was almost like that, if you think better about it.

"Well, you can't escape me now." he said.

"You see! You're doing it again!" I said "Why do you have to sound so dangerous?"

He bit his lip. Did he even know he was doing it?

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"Umm…" I tried to say something but I felt sharp pain in my head "Max!"

"What is it?" Murtagh was holding me in his arms in a second. The room was still spinning around me.

"Max!" I choked, looking around the room in panic.

"What with Max?" Murtagh was worried.

"Where is your sword?" I looked at Murtagh.

"I… I think I left it…" he was surprised by my question "…in my room?"

"You think?" we looked at each other and ran out of the room and down the hall.

"Amarantha!" he called. Of course, I missed the door. When we ran into the room, I gasped.

"Max!" I yelled. My son was standing near the desk and trying to pull something down. I thought I was going to faint; he was trying to pull the sword belt. In that moment Murtagh hurried and took Max into his arms before the sword fell down.

"Oh, that was…." Murtagh wanted to give Max to me but my hands were shaking too much. I was still trying to catch my breath. This was just more than shocking.

"Max, what were you doing?" I finally recovered, but then the anger took over me "How many times I've told you not to leave the room?! You were supposed to be sleeping!"

"Amarantha, it's not his fault!" Murtagh pressed the boy closer to his chest.

"He could have gotten killed!" I yelled. I couldn't even imagine that happening, and it was so close…But I refused to think about it.

"It's my fault." Murtagh said "I shouldn't have left Zar'roc here, knowing someone could enter the room."

"Well…!" I was mad, but I wasn't sure on whom anymore "If something had happened…"

"But it didn't." Murtagh said calmly "You see, we have to be together to keep our son safe."

"What?" I wasn't angry anymore, but then I was confused.

"You'll see if something bad is about to happen, and I'll be there to stop it." he said.

"Oh." I said. That actually made sense.

"Mommy, are you mad at me?" Max asked; his bottom lip quivering.

"Oh, no. I'm not." I smiled at him "Now I'm mad at your daddy."

"Wait, what for?" Murtagh raised an eyebrow and then laughed. I looked at him for a moment but all my attempts not to laugh failed.

"Okay, okay!" I said "Let's take Max back to bed."


"Murtagh, stop…" I whispered as he was kissing me. He looked at me curiously.

"What?" he asked.

"Will you have to go soon?" I look deep into his eyes; even I knew I probably won't find the truth there.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's better like that." he said, moving away from me. Obviously, he didn't want to talk about it.

"But Nasuada must be looking for you!" I said "Do they know for this place?"

"No." Murtagh said "I protected this place with magic. Unless someone remembers it, which is hard…they'll never find us."

"Oh." I said "So, are we prisoners of this castle?"

"What?" he thought my way of seeing things was funny. But I didn't laugh.

"Are we going to stay here forever?" I asked "Without leaving this castle? If we can't get out of here, then we are in prison."

"You can get out if you want." he said.

"But only if I don't go far from the castle, right?" I said. For the first time in my whole life, I knew I was right.

"Umm, yeah…but…" he tried to find a good way to explain it.

"No!" I said "I can't live here forever...away from the world. No, I just can't!"

"This is the safest place for us." he said "Max and Elisabeth are in danger if we are near other people."

"I want my life back." I said and he frowned, probably not understanding what I meant "I want to live in a normal house where I can actually find my way around and be there in time if necessary."

"I like this castle." he said "You'll like it too after some time."

"This is your life. Not mine." I said "I thought I wanted this, but now I don't like it. You're used to life in huge castles and being alone….and I…I just miss that feeling of being home, really home, and I miss my friends, even my boring neighbors."

"Amarantha…" he put his hand on my face "You're so naïve. Your neighbors and friends would be the first ones to betray you if someone came looking for you."

"But if you leave sometime and I stay here alone…I'm still defenseless." I said "Same like there."

"I won't leave you." he said.

"You don't know that." I complained "Maybe something will happen…"

"I'll teach you some magic." he said.

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes "That would be like teaching a cow how to speak!"

He laughed. Ok, that was a bit funny. I smiled.

"You're not that stupid." he said.

"Oh, I'm not that stupid…so, you think I'm stupid?" I raised an eyebrow. Maybe I was stupid, but someone who loves you isn't supposed to think that, right?

"Do I have to answer that?" he laughed. I jumped on him like I was going to strangle him, but instead we kissed.

"Can't we just go somewhere nice?" I asked.

"We can't. Someone could see Thorn." he said "That's why we need this castle. It's big enough to hide him too."

The dragon; I knew I forgot something! I was so glad I hadn't seen him for some time, so I forgot he was there. Oh, that meant I haven't been out for a while…

"Can't you just leave the dragon somewhere?" I asked. I really didn't get the dragon-Rider relationship. Weren't dragons just animals who Riders kept for power and long life? I really hoped Murtagh wasn't reading my mind; he was so sensitive when it came to Thorn.

"Would you leave your child somewhere?" he asked; his face completely serious. Oh, I asked the wrong question.

"No." I said "But dragon isn't exactly a child."

"But he's part of the family." Murtagh said. Family? A dragon? Right. I almost rolled my eyes, but I had to be careful. No matter how many times he repeated it, I still didn't get it.

"Ah, whatever." I said "We stay here then. Even it's not completely safe."

"How not completely safe?" he asked surprised.

"Lily could find me." I said.

"Lily?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I haven't seen her lately but you never know with her." I said "If someone offers a reward to find you…she might realize we're together and find me. I'm not sure it would mean something to her that she was Selena's friend. And she doesn't like you, I think."

"Aren't you wearing protection I gave you?" he frowned. I looked at the weird necklace I was wearing.

"Yes, I have it." I sighed "But does that really mean something?"

"Just don't take it off, ok?" he said. Stupid magic! I had to wear stupid necklace because of it!

"Yeah, yeah." I said "But who was here earlier this week?"

"Oh, yeah." he said "A guy who brought us some food and things we needed."

"Huh. And you trust him?" I was suspicious. He was so careful about this all and he let some guy to come here? Yeah, right.

"He's a friend of mine." Murtagh said.

"Sure. He would never betray you…and my family and friends would." I smiled bitterly.

"He's different." Murtagh said "He's not some ignorant villager."

"Oh." I frowned "Is that so?"

"He knows a lot about magic and not so many people knows him actually." he said. Oh, I was amazed. He had his Lily too. But every time I remembered Lily, I felt like I was in danger. It was a strange feeling, but I couldn't really understand why I felt like that. Lily never tried to hurt me or did she?

"What's his name?" I asked.

"I can't tell you." he said. Wow. Secrets in our relationship. Again.

"Why not?" I felt offended. Why he couldn't trust me with this?

"It's better that you don't know." he said "It's safer."

"Fine!" I crossed my arms "You don't have to tell me anything!"

"Don't be mad." he smiled, gently touching my face. I sighed. He kissed me softly. I was really defenseless against his touch and that smile…he was able to break the ice just smiling like that. And my heart wasn't even made of ice. My heart belonged to him.