"Amarantha! Wake up!" I heard someone saying my name but I didn't feel like getting up. I couldn't even open my eyes. Was it morning already? I had no idea. I just knew I didn't get enough of sleep.
"Amarantha, come on!" it took me a moment to realize it was Gerald's voice. What the hell did he want?
"Damn it, Amarantha!" I heard Murtagh's voice and then felt his hands grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. Okay, now that wasn't nice! I blinked.
"What?" I managed to say just to stop Murtagh from hurting me. I hoped he had a good reason for this.
"Nasuada is coming." he said, trying to sound as calm as he could. I opened my eyes wide and sat up in the bed.
"You could have told me that earlier!" I stared at both him and Gerald. They just looked at each other and Gerald shrugged.
"Where are the kids?" I suddenly felt a wave of panic coming over me. Nasuada was coming…Gerald and Murtagh were here with me…oh, great! Leave the kids alone in danger! I wanted to scream.
"Hey! Calm down." Murtagh said "They're safe."
"How do you know?" I almost yelled at him.
"They're not here." he said.
"What?!" I frowned. Part of me hoped I was just dreaming.
"I sent them with Thorn to a safer place." said Murtagh. I thought I was going to faint.
"You…sent…my kids…with…a dragon?" I was shaking with anger.
"Don't worry." he said "Everything will be fine. Thorn can take good care of them."
I tried to picture that. A huge monster taking care of…no! This was just beyond horrible. I had trouble breathing. There was pain in my chest…or maybe I imagined it. I suddenly looked at Murtagh.
"How much time do we have before they come here?" I asked.
"Half an hour. Maybe." Murtagh said. Maybe? Huh. That sounded comforting.
"Well, I suppose you're not planning to die today." I smiled bitterly. I had to convert my anger into something else.
"What?" he looked at me in surprise.
"Umm…you're sure you won't die today." I said "Or there's something I don't know?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." he frowned.
"Oh, you do." I said.
"No. Tell me." he looked deadly serious. Maybe he didn't know.
"You let the kids go alone with the dragon…" I said "If you die…the kids stay alone."
Hm. Maybe that was a better option? But then again…I couldn't imagine Elisabeth and Max completely alone somewhere…and lost! Why I didn't have a vision about this? Or did I maybe? Was this the horrible thing I couldn't remember? I gasped. Murtagh seemed to realize what I was worried about.
"Nothing will happen to them or to us. I swear." he said.
"Why didn't you send me with them?" I asked. Something seemed so wrong about that. Wasn't I supposed to go with the kids? I would keep them safe. And I couldn't do anything to help here.
"I need you here." he said.
"Huh? What for?" I was surprised.
"You are the only one here who can't hide thoughts." he said.
"What that has to do with anything?" sometimes I really didn't know what he wanted from me.
"It's the only way Nasuada can know we just want to talk." he said. I thought about that for a second.
"What?" I really wanted to hit him. How did he dare? I just couldn't believe he didn't ask me anything…Nasuada was going to read my mind and that just…wasn't right!
"I'm sorry." he said "But letting her into my mind or Gerald's would put us in danger…if something goes wrong."
"No." I glared at him "No!"
"There's nothing you can do about it." Murtagh wanted to touch my arm but I moved away.
"You…you can't do this to me!" I yelled, tears forming in my eyes "You can't let her see my thoughts…about me, you, us…and you didn't even ask me if that was okay!"
"If you knew how to protect your mind, you could have an opinion…now it's just decided." he said indifferently.
"I hate you." I said through tears. If he had to choose between hurting my feelings and getting what he wanted…well, we all know now what he would choose.
"Forget it." he said "Nasuada is coming so it wouldn't be nice you keep looking like a hysterical lover."
That was it. I didn't want to see him ever again. I walked past him to the front door. I wasn't planning to return. I opened the door and there she was. Great.
"Hey." I smiled bitterly at Nasuada who just looked surprised. I wanted to say she could have her husband back but I didn't. I just stood there at the door, looking stupid. My eyes were probably red, but I wasn't crying anymore.
"Nasuada." Murtagh was next to me, putting his hands on my waist and gently pulling me away from the door. I didn't feel happy about him touching me but there was nothing I could do about it. She entered the house and I looked better at her. She was beautiful. I sighed. This is going to be long. And I was sure at that moment that I prefered Murtagh staying with me.
Nasuada refused to check my mind; she said she trusted us. Or better said, she trusted Murtagh. I was sitting in the corner of the room, watching them talk. They were mostly talking about the Empire and the future. Apparently, ruling a country wasn't as easy as I thought.
I was thinking about my children. They were alone with a dragon who could eat them at any moment he wanted, and I was uselessly sitting here. I tried to concentrate on the boring conversation just to stop having ugly pictures in my head.
"Are you sure about this?" Nasuada looked at Murtagh. There was something strange in her eyes...she looked sad, but there was a sparkle of hope. She still loved Murtagh. That's why she didn't come here with the best magicians and soldiers.
She came alone; her helpers were waiting for her somewhere near but they weren't here. Even the last time she had tried to kill us all, she probably changed her mind. Or she realized she couldn't kill me without killing Murtagh, so she gave up her original idea. But she also trusted Murtagh not to kill her, which was a bit annoying because she believed he loved her.
"I'm sure, Nasuada." Murtagh said "I have a child with her."
"I know, but…" Nasuada was almost pleading "I would never try to separate you from your son."
"Right." I smiled bitterly "And I'm a butterfly."
"Amarantha, please." Murtagh looked at me. I didn't like this. Did he really want to have a private conversation with her in front of me? And expect me not to say anything? Well, I hoped he would at least realize he should have sent me with the kids.
"No." I said "She sent her soldiers to kill me and the children. You almost died because of that!"
"That was a misunderstanding." Nasuada glared at me "I apologize."
"You apologize?" I laughed "Don't you realize? You could have killed us all!"
"Gerald, take her out of here." Murtagh said to Gerald who was just sitting there and listening.
"No." Gerald said it before I could "If you really want to marry her, then she has every right to be here."
"Fine!" Murtagh was a bit upset.
"You should listen to both of us." suddenly said Nasuada "Then decide what you want to do."
"Alright." Murtagh said "Nasuada you have the word first."
I hated the way she smiled at him. She was so sure of herself. And this whole thing sounded stupid to me. What was this? Choosing who has a better offer?
"I love you, Murtagh." Nasuada said "I want you to come back with me. We can defeat our enemies together. And your son can come with us. I can give you anything you want."
I wanted to strangle her right there on the spot. She didn't bother to ask was it okay with me to take my son away.
"Amarantha, do you have anything to say?" Murtagh looked at me.
"You know what I think about this." I said "If you choose her over me…you can forget you have a son."
"But you don't even know where he is!" Nasuada sounded amused. Damn! So much about her refusing to read my mind!
"You really think I wouldn't find you?" we both stood up at the same time from our chairs and stared at each other.
"Even if you find us, you don't have any power to do something." she smiled wickedly.
"True." I said "But I'm not afraid of you. My son would come to me."
"You should be." I couldn't even realize what she was doing when I saw the knife in front of my face. I gasped, but before I could do something she stabbed me. I fell to the floor. Murtagh was already holding his sword under Nasuada's neck and she was laughing like a mad woman.
Gerald took me into his arms, inspecting the wound. His fingers touched my chest. The pain was horrible. It felt like someone was tearing me apart. There was nothing more I wanted more than to close my eyes. Only seconds had passed but to me it was like an eternity.
"Amarantha, no! Don't close your eyes!" Gerald was yelling to me.
"She's gone!" yelled Nasuada "Come with me, Murtagh!"
"What have you done, you crazy woman?" Murtagh yelled at her, still pressing his sword to her neck. She had dropped the knife to the floor.
"You made me like this! You!" she laughed at Murtagh's face "I came here, hoping you reconsidered your decisions. Apparently, you love her or you wouldn't be so upset right now. Well, too bad it's too late. If you kill me, everyone will know…and they'll come for you."
"Murtagh!" Gerald yelled "We're loosing her! The wound is too close to the heart!"
"Heal it, damn it!" Murtagh yelled back. I felt something ticklish inside my chest and I would have laughed if I could. I still wanted to go to sleep. It was too hard to keep my eyes open.
"Amarantha, stay with me!" Gerald yelled "Murtagh, come here! I can't do it! It's not working! She's dying!"
I heard something like a scream. I wasn't sure anymore what was happening. The room around me was blurry and I closed my eyes without realizing it. Suddenly I felt some energy coming to me.
I opened my eyes a bit. Murtagh was holding me in his arms, one hand placed on my chest over the wound. There was light coming from it. But I still couldn't breath right. I felt like I was going to choke. It was a horrible feeling. My whole body felt weightless and I couldn't move.
"Murtagh, don't." Gerald said "She won't make it."
"I'll heal the wound!" Murtagh yelled nervously.
"Murtagh, you're going to die if you keep on like this!" Gerald tried to push him away from me, but Murtagh didn't let go of me.
"No! Amarantha!" Murtagh's breathing was too fast and his hands were shaking. He wasn't going to make it. I was dragging him with me and I didn't want that.
"Murtagh…" I managed to say it. I could feel the taste of blood in my mouth.
"Don't speak." he whispered to me.
"Let me go." I whispered, unsure could he even hear me. There were black spots in front of my eyes, or maybe it was just Murtagh's hair. I felt him close, kissing me. I wanted to kiss him too, but it was impossible. I couldn't see him anymore. All I could see was darkness; black, cold and strangely comfortable.
I wanted to tell Murtagh to take care of the kids. I wanted to find my way out of the dark, talk to him…but I was lost and alone.
