Okay, so. Not nearly as much laughs here as before, but things have to get serious SOMETIME and well shit happens. Next chapter will come out sooner. Maybe later this week?

I don't have to write disclaimers right? We all know that I don't own anything on a site titled "fanfiction"


Naruto stood in the middle of a grassy field. The wind blew softly, carrying on it the sweet smell of spring grass and various other forms of nature in bloom. Turning to his left, Naruto saw his pink haired teammate, Sakura Haruno. Her hair was still long at this point in time, signifying that she was still not serious about being a ninja yet. Her fists were clenched, and her stare was set directly ahead. She had blinked very little since Kakashi had revealed to them what their test was, and if he looked close enough, he would see that she was shaking slightly. This test was probably incredibly nerve wracking to her, and he could see why.

"Well. This is totally different from the last time you fought your teacher with her," the Kyuubi growled from his place in the surrounding forest. He was hidden, using his chakra that was as natural as the trees around him to blend in. Kakashi wouldn't be noticing him unless he revealed his Sharingan. Knowing Naruto, he would probably be forced to.

Naruto had to agree with Kurama on this point. "Definitely. Last time we did this, Sakura punched a hole in the ground. The ground Kyuubi. She was definitely something to be reckoned with. Now however," he started, looking to Sakura. She had swallowed hard, and it was obvious that she did it with some difficulty. She was close to the point of breaking.

"It's hard to believe such a powerful human was once this."

"Not really. Everyone started somewhere," Naruto rebutted. "Despite her weakness now, in her is the resolve to push herself to amazing lengths."

"I was born being able to cause tsunamis with a single roar."

"And look where you are now," Naruto continued, "you're able to be a pain in my ass in a single sentence."

At this, Kyuubi answered with an indignant snort. Naruto continued.

"Besides, Sakura became an amazing kunoichi, second only to Sasuke and myself. She did it all on her own, Kurama. Sasuke had the Sharingan and I had you. What did she have? Talent and hard work. Its something to respect."

Kurama mulled it over, before shrugging. He dismissed the point with a huff. "Either way. Right now she's little more than useless to you. I'd suggest letting her clear out before letting loose."

Naruto shook his head. "That wasn't the point of this test. Its to show teamwork. Beating Kakashi is nice and all, but even if I showed I had the brute strength there's no guarantee I'd pass."

"Then you're just not showing enough brute strength." Kyuubi responded.

"Maybe."

Naruto then turned to see his other teammate. He wasn't… nearly as well. In fact one might say the opposite.

Sasuke stood to his other side in a daze. Blank eyes stared forward, not really taking in much around him. He had shuffled in the training area not far ahead of Kakashi, and kind of just collapsed where he and Sakura were relaxing. Since then his responses were little more than meaningless, hollow gestures and the limpest of movements in response to certain actions being taken.

Naruto started throwing pine cones at him.

It did not provoke a response.

Since then Sasuke had walked to the starting point when Kakashi had gestured him to, and had not said nor did anything when told about the test. A blink every now and then was all Naruto had to know that the boy was still alive.

"I don't think he'll be much help," Naruto said, mostly to himself. He got a mental nod from Kyuubi and another, more reluctant one from Sakura.

"He's been like this all day yesterday. Especially after introductions," the pink haired ninja responded. To this effect she, albeit hesitantly, threw a pine cone at the Uchiha as well. It bounced off his head with a dud and landed near the genius' feet. The boy blinked.

A thought occurred to Naruto. "How would you know what he was like all day yesterday?" Sakura stared at him.

"Is that a question you really want an answer to?"

"It is not," Naruto responded, remembering slightly his own wife's stalking habits. Old stalking habits.

Dear God he hoped it was her old stalking habits.

Kakashi had by this point decided that they had enough time to prepare. Taking out a small blue book – one that Naruto had noted was not of the smut variety – the Jonin proceeded to read as he placed a small clock on a nearby stump and set it to an hour.

"I'm sure you already have the gist of it," the scarecrow said, his one eye entirely focused on the book before him, "but I'll reiterate it just in case you don't. You have an hour. Just one hour to get one of these bells from my side. Those of you who get a bell will pass, while the one who doesn't will get sent back to the academy." Kakashi then paused for effect. He was disappointed when he only got one reaction out of the three kids before him. Sakura had gaped, fear drawn on her face at the idea of being sent back to the academy; Naruto had simply looked at him with a big, determined grin on his face. Sasuke hadn't changed since he entered. Kakashi was starting to get concerned.

"When exactly did you come up with the Talk no Jutsu, brat?" Kyuubi asked, concerned as well.

Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion, "why? What does it matter?"

"No reason."

Before Naruto could press however, Kakashi pressed a finger to the timer, starting the countdown. In a flash of speed, the man was back in the center of the clearing, his eye having never left the book.

"You may begin," he drawled, and two of the Genin were off in a burst of speed.

Sasuke stood in the middle of the grounds. He gaped wordlessly at something Kakashi could only imagine.


In the brush

Sakura did some breathing exercises as she tried to calm her nerves. Things were definitely not normal around here anymore.

First off, things were weird with Sasuke. No, she never presumed to have maintained anything of a normal relationship with the boy, but she at least hoped that being placed on the same team as him would improve things even a little. That was not the case however, for as soon as they were officially together, Naruto had to go off and tell that little speech that all but put her future husband in a coma!

Though to be honest, it had some effect on her as well. Who knew Naruto was a natural born speaker?

And going back to that, Naruto had changed as well. Where before he was an annoying, orange wearing loser who hung off of her at every chance he got, now he was more aloof and confident. He carried himself with a poise and grace that all but exuded some kind of regal aura. He still slouched and joked around when he was sure someone was looking— but in off times, when he was most relaxed, Sakura could feel it. Naruto held a sense of authority about him. One that wasn't there before.

Things weren't normal. Sakura wasn't sure what to make of that.

"I would be confused too," a voice said to her right. She nodded, glad there was someone to share her nerves.

It was then she realized she was hiding under a bush and there should really be no one there with her.

With a jump and a clumsy attempt to pull out a kunai, Sakura turned on the newcomer next to her. Her knife had barely made it a few inches before her wrist was grabbed and held by an iron grip.

Naruto laughed, "if that's always going to be your reaction to me, we're going to have a terrible time on this team."

Sakura blanched, somewhat ashamed at her knee jerk reaction. Settling the kunai down slightly at her side, but not putting it away, the girl turned to see if her actions had alerted the Jonin in the center of the field. The scarecrow had taken to walking around the boy in the center, who was doing a far better rendition of a scarecrow than he. With a slightly relieved sigh, the girl turned back to her other teammate.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" Sakura asked in a hushed whisper. Her tone conveyed very little amusement. Whether Naruto noticed or not mattered little, as the boy just smiled back at her. Sakura had the urge to shield her eyes from how bright it was.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to help me take down our sensei," he responded. Absently he fiddled with Iruka's headband. This was before he had to switch the cloth because it was damaged from Jiraiya's training. Something about the original material felt so much more comfortable.

Sakura scowled. She kept half an eye on the proceedings outside their conversation. Kakashi had started to poke Sasuke with a stick. The Uchiha flinched when he was poked in sensitive areas, but otherwise made no effort to either move or stop the man.

She looked back to Naruto. "Help you?" she asked, "how exactly do you intend to do to take him down?" In response Naruto smiled. It was a wicked smile. A smile not fit on the faces of mortal men. Sakura found herself shivering.

"Sakura. I have a plan," the orange Genin replied. Sakura didn't know, but it was on this day that she had felt true fear for the first time in her life. It was soul crushing and empty, leaving her in a void of insurmountable hopelessness.

And the worst part? It was for someone other than her.


Kakashi, now tired of poking the first of his Genin with a stick, decided now was as good a time as any to go find the other two.

To poke, of course.

With a quick one-two jab, the Uchiha was handily laid out on his back. The boy just flopped to the floor, not bothering to brace himself or react in any way to his new predicament.

Kakashi shrugged, before turning around to look for his other two cute students. The man had to admit; out of all of the kids to stand and "fight" in the middle of the field, he half expected the blonde to be the one to do it. Confident, cocky and looking to prove something was practically the kid's entire MO. His sudden change was… unexpected… to say the very least.

Kakashi glanced over to where he had seen Sakura, the pink haired student, dash to. She did well to hide her presence and deflect her exit path from where it was expected, but her movements were all academic in execution. As in woefully standard. Kakashi could tell the textbook feints and intentional noise distractions because he had studied them when he was in the Academy not too long ago. He followed her, and her pink hair, for every movement she made until she finally settled under the brush and kept an eye on her the entire time, up until he started to mess with her crush. He was sure the pinkette would be too nervous to move from that spot as she had not moved the entire ten minutes he was waiting, but apparently she was more cunning than he had anticipated. Sometime while he was poking at the boy, she had disappeared.

Oh well, just means he would have to find her. With this thought in mind, the Jonin disappeared in a shunshin.

They couldn't get far from a tracker ninja. Not when he himself was their target.


Sakura tried her best to keep her attention away from Naruto as both him and his tangible clones dumped parcel after parcel into a huge pile in a small outcropping in the middle of the forest. They were near a river, and what started as a small bundle slowly became a rising mountain of things that Naruto was collecting. When asked what, the boy had just responded with a smile and a wave, telling her that there was nothing to worry about.

For in truth, there was absolutely nothing for her to worry about. Nothing in this ever growing pile of parcels and paper had any real significance to his Genin teammate in any way. Years would pass before Sakura had any sort of revelation to even consider any of the things he was gathering of any importance. Said things were not true for his Jonin sensei, however. Their teacher landed in their clearing shortly after Naruto had grown the pile to a size for his liking, and even then the boy had clones bring in more parcels.

Naruto turned from his work with a very visible smile on his face. Kakashi couldn't place the feeling exactly, but for some reason he had the slightest inkling that he was experiencing a precursor to fear.

"Welcome Kakashi-sensei," Naruto greeted. He had his hands on his hips and stood with a pose facing his teacher. Behind him and to his right, Kakashi could see Sakura standing with a kunai at the ready. Their countenance were entirely opposite, so Kakashi decided to focus first on the more relaxed of the two.

"That's a mighty impressive pile you have there," Kakashi drawled while taking notice of the stack behind the boy. Even as he talked the pile grew ever bigger, the clones piling on more from elsewhere. From where, Kakashi couldn't fathom, but they were certainly working like a bat out of hell. When the boy – who Kakashi assumed was the original – just looked behind him at the pile before looking back at him and shrugging, Kakashi continued. "I hope you don't think a pile of junk would be enough to beat me." To this statement Naruto smiled even harder, and Kakashi could feel the sense of dread return twofold.

Despite the dread, or perhaps because of it, that Naruto could feel on his teacher's face, the boy decided that now was the best time to start his plan. With a grand sweep of his arm, the paper on every parcel dropped in the pile disappeared, revealing an assortment of vividly colored books. Each one had a different picture of a girl and a heart and the title "Icha Icha" could be seen plastered on the front.

Kakashi was understandably surprised. Not that anyone would notice beyond the widening of his eye.

Awestruck, the Jonin's body went stiff. His hand twitched, no doubt wanting to do nothing more than reach forward and delve through the utopia before him. After half a minute, the Jonin finally recomposed himself enough to speak.

"Naruto. What… what is this? How did you-"

"This is our key to victory, sensei", Naruto interrupted. Using his outstretched arm, Naruto snapped his fingers, and off in the distance a resounding boom echoed throughout the forest. It sounded somewhat like a cannon.

"What was that?" Kakashi asked, looking around. Nothing seemed to be coming at him or hurtling through the trees.

"I think you should focus more on what's in front of you," Naruto responded, and with a burst of speed, the orange Genin-turned-Hokage and back to Genin disappeared from sight. Kakashi went immediately on guard, knowing now that the boy was full of surprises. Before most could perceive, the book in his hand was replaced by a kunai and his stance changed to a low, almost crouching frame. Eye darting left and right, Kakashi employed his sight, scent, and hearing to the cause of tracking his orange student.

The Jonin was of course alert. He was the most alert he could possibly be. Without a doubt however, the boy had all but disappeared from his senses. Every single one of them. After three minutes of no response, Kakashi turned his eye to Sakura. When she flinched under his intense, analytical gaze (which was meant for Naruto), he attempted to soften his stare. He hadn't succeeded, but it was apparent the girl appreciated the gesture when she calmed slightly.

I mean, the knife was still in her hand and pointed at him, but it was more of a courtesy than an actual threat. What ninja didn't point a knife at their closest friends at some point in their lives?

"So what's your thing?" Kakashi asked conversationally, eye still scanning the forest for Naruto. As soon as the boy moved, he had vanished from Kakashi's radar in every aspect. That did not sit well with him.

Sakura, who was now just standing in no kind of stance, just tilted her head. "What do you mean, sensei?"

"I mean, what's your thing? Your schtick?" Kakashi answered while turning in place. Up, left and right, forward, and behind. Taking a cursory glance downward, even though he doubted Naruto knew the jutsu, Kakashi checked underneath him as well. Nothing there. "Your teammates all have things. What's yours?"

Sakura looked slightly appalled. "They don't all have things."

"They do," Kakashi responded. Looking in the air, he could see the sun. He placed it relative to where it was when the test started and assumed his students had about fifteen minutes left. Naruto didn't seem to be showing up, so the Jonin reluctantly relaxed from his stance. Taking one last look around, Kakashi turned back to Sakura. She had put the knife away and folded her arms.

"Like what?" the girl asked in a huff. Kakashi stared at her with a single, lazy eye. He somehow conveyed the look that one gives a mentally challenged puppy. He indulged her anyway.

"Let's start with your little boyfriend," Kakashi started, to the pink haired girls both horror and glee. "He's basically a vegetable."

"Vegetables are good for you!" Sakura yelled back. She inched slightly away from the stack of books behind her, reminding Kakashi of their existence. The Jonin's hand flinched again, temptation barely being reigned in. Kakashi squashed the feeling immediately. He wasn't sure of what trap lay hidden yet. His eye wandered back to his pink haired student, and if the indignant stare she was sending his way was any indication, she was not pleased with being ignored for smut.

"He's not a good vegetable," Kakashi retorted. His hand twitched again, almost moving forward again. He clenched that hand into a fist as tight as he could. Maybe withdrawing from the stuff wasn't his best idea. The temptation was starting to get unbearable.

Sakura wasn't having any of Kakashi's words. "Name a single vegetable that isn't good for you."

"Celery," Kakashi replied without hesitating, "you burn more calories eating it than you actually gain from the act."

"That's great for diets!" Sakura spat back, her arms now crossed.

"And diets aren't exactly something someone in our line of work should be indulging in. We spend enough energy in a day to warrant a week's worth of food for a normal person. Empty calories aren't something we particularly need."

"So, what? Are you saying we don't need Sasuke?" Sakura retorted in a huff. When Kakashi just looked at her, Sakura blanched, "we do need Sasuke!"

Kakashi just sighed. Taking one more glance around, he finally stood upright before walking slowly over to the Genin.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Sakura asked, her face slightly paling upon seeing her teacher move towards her. The Jonin, completely disregarding her, continued moving as if she hadn't existed.

"Well, your teammate obviously isn't showing himself."

Sakura bristled. "So?"

"Well, then obviously he doesn't seem to care. None of you managed to get any of these bells away from me and your time is almost up. You've failed," the Jonin replied. With a narrowing of his eye, he glared at the pink haired student before him. "Unless you mean to say that you want to get them from me?"

The slight step back she took was all the answer he needed.

"Then I will proceed to do as I please. You have all failed and I have held myself back long enough." At some point while he was explaining himself he had stopped, and now done, the scarecrow continued his stride toward Sakura. It wasn't a fast gait, but it was strong and full of purpose. Sakura flinched, but pulled out a second kunai regardless. Bracing herself, the girl saw that her actions had temporarily surprised the man in front of her. Stopping in shock, the man considered the girl in front of him before continuing his stroll, with no change in demeanor save for a slightly more bemused expression.

"Oh? So are you going to stop me after all?" Kakashi asked, a tone of mirth in his voice. Sakura ground her teeth slightly to calm her nerves before answering.

"Aren't you going to tell me about Naruto's quirk?" she asked, trying to deflect the situation. Kakashi wasn't amused. Disregarding her question, the silver haired Jonin reached forward. Sakura could feel her nerves strain to their most and, closing her eyes, the poor girl turned her head and closed her eyes as to try to ward off the inevitable.

So her surprise when she felt her sensei reach past her completely was perfectly understandable.

Opening her eyes, Sakura traced Kakashi's arm to his hand, seeing that she was in fact not his goal at all. Gingerly the man picked up a copy of Icha Icha Night, a copy he had not owned yet, and set to reading it. His kunai holstered, the man dedicated his focus to the book in front of him. After a moment of silence, the man looked up from his book once more to see Sakura staring agape. Kakashi stared back at her, a single lazy eye slightly tinged with curiosity. Surely his actions weren't too far out of the ordinary?

"Is there something wrong?" Kakashi asked, his eyes darting between his student and the words on the page, not really paying attention to either.

Sakura, after a moment deliberation to get herself together, managed an answer. "N-nothing Sensei. I'm just… surprised."

"Surprised?" Kakashi asked, an eyebrow quirking. "I do thigns like this all the time. Surely you've heard of my reputation?" She had to have. At this point, the ex-ANBU member was almost certain that he was more known for his habitual porn reading than his Sharingan. This was a fact he was quickly coming to terms with. Sakura had simply shook her head at his question.

"No, its not that," Sakura answered, before lowering her head so that her hair slightly covered it. A few quiet seconds passed, before Kakashi could hear a slight giggling. High pitched and melodious, the girl managed to keep her mirth under wraps a few seconds longer before her giggles evolved into chuckles, and then full blown laughter. Unable to contain herself any longer, the girl had all but fallen to the floor in pure amusement. Kakashi however, was only confused.

"What's so funny?" he asked. This wasn't the appropriate reaction of a Genin five minutes away from failure. Sakura, who was now just barely holding herself up on one of her hands and her knees, could only choke as she tried to answer through her gasps for air. A few more seconds passed, and she managed to get herself mostly under control.

"I'm… I'm surprised that you actually fell for it! Every single little bit of his plan!" Sakura managed to gasp out, and it was at this moment that Kakashi realized his mistake. Whirling on his heel, the Jonin had just enough time to bring up his arms in a cross to block the heavy haymaker from the speeding bullet of orange. Kakashi's knees buckled under the weight of the attack, and suddenly Naruto's thing re-asserted itself in the one eyed man's mind.

The boy was far, far more powerful than he let on.

"Lesson One," the boy announced, the shockwave from the boy's launch finally catching up and launching the Jonin back and over the pile of porn. Dragging along the ground, the Jonin created a ditch in the dirt, before recollecting himself and looking back at his student.

"Taijutsu."