Naruto Crack Fic 5

I wonder if I'll ever get fanart. I'll look forward to the day someone decides to draw the bullshit scenarios I think of.

Also, here's the new chapter and all that. The next chapter will actually include things I actually look forward to writing. It'll be fun, so I'll probably even update faster. Enjoy, please. I'd really like it if you enjoyed.


Naruto landed from his launch in a crouch, his body parallel to the ground as he touched down. Taking a deep breath, the ex-Hokage prepared himself for the kind of high speed battle associated with elite level ninja.

"You sure you don't need me for this, brat? Your fighting prowess is a bit on the… short side." Kyuubi commented from his place in the woods. He had been watching from beginning to end, and he was a little less than enthusiastic about the odds of them winning.

"Nah, I'm fine. Kakashi isn't as strong as he was in the future. We're both handicapped here." Naruto responded. Slowly, he rose from his position, staring down his old sensei as the man did the same. Kakashi didn't seem too pleased with his reintroduction.

"Just stick to the plan," Naruto finished, before immediately whirling on the spot. Crossing his arms over his chest, the orange boy was subjected to a right hook by the 'older' man which sent him sprawling back. Digging in his heels, the boy managed to anchor himself in the dirt after sliding for a few moments. When he finally stopped, he managed a smirk while fighting off the urge to rub his arm from the place of impact. The man hit harder than he remembered.

"Was that revenge, sensei?" Naruto asked. Kakashi, whose fist was still outstretched from his punch, had simply shook his gloved fist. Apparently Naruto wasn't the only one to get hurt from the exchange.

"No," the Jonin answered after a moment, "that was an introduction. This is my revenge."

Suddenly a copy of the Jonin burst from the ground behind Naruto. His hands interlocking fingers with the index pointing out, the ex-ANBU thrust it forward faster than the Naruto could react, and the boy was subjected to a devastatingly powerful poke in a place he would rather it not be. The boy flinched, pain becoming apparent on his features, before smiling a wicked grin. Weaving through signs, Naruto initiated his technique.

"Exploding Clone Jutsu!"

XxX

Kyuubi flinched as the memories of the shadow clone rushed to both him and his container.

"I will never understand your fascination with using that technique to counter that abominable prank." Kyuubi growled. He had taken to jumping through the forest to follow through on Naruto's plan. Little did Kakashi know that he had four people to work against. Naruto, who was nowhere near the fox, shrugged his shoulders. Through what could only be assumed as chakra magic did the fox manage to know of this.

"The Exploding Clone Jutsu is a wonderful technique. Just what you need to cause widespread damage and let everyone know it was you."

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd liken you to Deidara." Naruto scrunched his face.

"Who are you talking about now?" the boy asked.

"Deidara? The mad bomber who was a part of Akatsuki? You fought him before."

"Did I?" Naruto asked. He had landed in a different part of the forest from where he was fighting his sensei. After looking around a bit, he found what he was searching for and rapidly made his way over to it. "Tell me what he was like."

Kyuubi deadpanned, "He was the Mad Bomber. Do I really need to explain to you what he was like?"

Naruto didn't respond. That in itself was Kyuubi's answer.

"He was the blonde guy with the hand mouths," Kyuubi answered with a sigh. Inwardly he cursed the blonde boy's terrible memory. Seeing as they shared a mind space and thus internal thoughts, this wasn't an "inward" occurrence at all.

"I heard that," Naruto replied indignantly.

"I know." Kyuubi replied immediately.

"Anyway," Naruto continued as he threw his finding over his shoulder, "I think I remember that guy. Didn't we tear his arms off?"

Kyuubi nodded.

"Sweet. I just noticed, but Konoha ninja had a history of tearing people's arms off."At this, Kyuubi raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?" the fox asked. "Prove it."

"I tore off Deidara's arms."

"Okay, that's one," Kyuubi remarked as he started to move through the trees again. Seeing nothing to note these tallies on, he lit a tree on fire.

"Old Man Hokage tore off Orochimaru's arms," Naruto stated. He had also started running through the trees at this point, and had noticed smoke coming up from afar. "Was that you?"

"Yes," Kyuubi answered. "So is this." And at that, another tree went up in flames. "Also, I don't think that counts. He still had his arms. The Hokage just sealed his soul arms."

Naruto scowled, "He did that by tearing off his soul arms. It counts."

"Fair enough," the fox responded. He lit another tree.

"Dude! You already counted that one!"

Kyuubi shrugged. Naruto groaned at his nonchalance. Then again, he himself had taken to randomly killing people. With his genocidal tendencies in mind, a thought occurred to him.

"Hey, Kyuubi?"

"Yes meatbag?" Kyuubi answered.

"Does deity induced damage control extend beyond just revival of people?"

Kyuubi pondered the idea. "I dunno? Maybe. Why do you ask?"

Naruto looked off into the distance to where the smoke should no doubt be increasing as the fire spread. Instead of doing that, the smoke was slowly regressing, until finally disappearing altogether. Knowing the Kyuubi's pyromania, Naruto decided this was probably for the best. Naruto was tempted to change the subject, but unfortunately their mind link worked both ways.

Kyuubi turned from where he was running in outrage. His most recent tree had already started to be put out.

"Oh."

"Kyuubi wait no calm down," Naruto stammered out.

"Hell"

"Kyuubi no we can talk about this."

"To the FUCKING no!" Kyuubi roared, and Naruto could feel the fox's ire as he raced back to the trees that were now perfectly fine. Inhaling deeply, the fox simply exhaled fire without the need for ninjutsu or hand seals. The fire engulfed the tree he was facing, and Naruto could feel the content wash over both him and Kyuubi. This content was quickly replaced by annoyance as the tree was immediately put out. A still silence permeated their link.

"Kurama? Are you-" Naruto started to ask after a minute. He was interrupted by his tenant.

"Naruto. This means war."

Naruto sighed again.

"Of course it does."

XxX

Sakura watched as her teammate pretty much exploded and her sensei's clone disappear as the real Kakashi was once again torpedoed across the clearing. He went 'thump' against a tree, before slowly falling down it and landing in a heap at its base. After a while of not moving, Sakura was pretty sure the man was out cold. Seeing the opportunity for what it was, she made her way over to him. Stopping only when she was within a few meters, the Genin inhaled deeply before inching over to him. Slowly, as if not to disturb the man's rest, Sakura gently leaned over to grab the two bells and be rid of this for all. She wasn't entirely too sure who she was going to give the other bell to, as Naruto was the entire cause this was happening in the first place, but having them and not knowing was a much better situation to be in than not.

Now, Sakura couldn't tell you what it was that told her to stop. Intuition? Ninja instinct finally kicking in after all these years? Either one or both could be accredited, for as her fingers were mere inches from the bells a feeling in her told her to move. Knowing that doubt on the battlefield could lead to death, Sakura immediately complied, throwing herself to the side as something small cut through the air where she previously was. Rolling out of her dodge into a crouch, Sakura saw the image of her sensei shimmer before phasing out of existence. In its place was a single kunai embedded in the tree.

"Genjutsu," Sakura thought. With a scowl, the pink Genin glared behind her to where Kakashi stood nonchalant. A second kunai twirled on his finger as he looked down on her, both figuratively and literally. Sakura stood up slowly. She retrieved a knife of her own as she did so.

"I have to admit," Kakashi droned as he watched her arm herself, "I didn't think you'd be able to dodge that. It appears not all of you are useless." Sakura replied to him with a molten glare.

"You almost killed me," the girl spat out. Had she not been so incensed she would be surprised at the hostility in her own voice. Whether Kakashi himself was surprised, or even affected in any way at all by her tone was a mystery, as the man continued on without a care.

"I told you before, Pinkie. The world you're trying to get into is not fun and games. The world you're trying to enter will attempt to kill you every chance it gets. The world you're trying to be a part of wants absolutely nothing more than to tear you limb to limb. The world you want to join so desperately is one filled with death, despair, and a lack of any sort of morals. And honey?" Kakashi asked, leaning forward with a glint in his eyes. Sakura moved to answer, but she found it hard to with a blade against her throat. Blinking, Sakura could feel her sensei behind her – the clearing in front of her now empty.

"When had he moved?"

"Honey, the world we're a part of gives no second chances, and you've just lost your only one." These were the last words Sakura heard before the knife slit her throat.

"This is the world of ninja Pinky, and unfortunately for you, I was your Gatekeeper."

XxX

Naruto landed back in the clearing and, with lots of flair, dumped his burden on the ground. He had spent the last few minutes falling from tree after tree in a fruitless attempt to calm the Kyuubi down. He hadn't succeeded in his attempt, but at the very least Kyuubi was focusing on a single tree now.

"I will win this, boy," the Kyuubi growled. Even now Naruto could hear explosions in the background. He winced at the wanton destruction being tossed around. Even though the Kyuubi was only targeting a single tree, the methods of his destruction was no doubt enveloping many.

"Fine fine. Roar into the wind all you want fuzzball. Just be ready to fulfill your part when the time comes."

Naruto heard the Kyuubi growl. It was deep and guttural, and reminded the Hokage of years long past when the being wanted nothing more than to eat him. Of course, Kurama still aimed to eat him even now, but it wasn't the deep seated desire it was before.

"I care not for your petty little plans anymore, human. This is a matter between beingsmuch more sophisticated than you. I do not intend to lose it."

"I didn't know you cared, fox."

"I don't," Kyuubi responded. His answer was short and full of irritation. "But I'd be damned if I lose to anyone besides you." Naruto, upon hearing the Kyuubi's response, made a small heart over his chest.

"Aww, you big sweetheart you. Are you acknowledging my power?"

Kyuubi chuckled. "I admit you are strong, brat. But you are still just barely a blip on my almighty radar. What I'm acknowledging is your luck. In that aspect of yours, and that aspect alone, I fear the quantity you possess. There is no way that you should be able to spit in the face of such stronger beings so often and still walk among the living, and yet, here you are; you're smiling like an idiot – the likes of which you definitely are, by the way – and devising a plan against your old sensei. I definitely fear you Naruto, but only because I have no feasible idea where your luck, and your unpredictability, ends."

Naruto, who had started to make googly eyes at nothing, but with intent at Kurama, stopped to contemplate what his tenant had said. In his older body it was a deep and nerve wracking experience, as even with his goofy nature Naruto was feared across the Shinobi nation. In just a wave of his synthetic hand Naruto possessed more power and skill than even most of his own Jonin. Now however, it looked little more than adorable on his fat cheeks and large eyes.

"That's the second time I've heard something like that."

"What? That you're an idiot?" Kurama asked innocently. Naruto imagined a hammer falling on Kurama's head. Sure enough afterwards he could feel the fox flinching. Satisfied, Naruto answered.

"No, though I've heard too many of that as well. I've heard people say before that I'm just far too lucky. First Grandpa Sage said it and now you. I don't really see the connection."

"Are you serious? You're really serious right now?"

Naruto glared out a space. There was nothing in his immediate line of sight but the trees, but somehow Kurama got the message. "What? Yes! My life was entirely too hard if you ask me. If I listed every thing that happened to me throughout me life you'd stagger and fall in its inglorious magnitude!"

Kurama huffed, "I know everything that happened through your life, boy. I was there. But go ahead and humor me."

"Well for starters, not five minutes after I was born a madman extracted a giant demon fox from my mother, nearly killing her in the process. That giant demon fox then went on to kill both my parents right in front of me, leaving me an orphan." Kyuubi scoffed.

"Oh boo hoo. The poor ninja boy got a secondary source of power."

"You've tried to kill me on multiple occasions," Naruto deadpanned.

"Oh boo hoo. The poor ninja boy had people attempt to kill him. If anything, more people try to kill you now than they ever did then." Kyuubi responded. His anger temporarily abated by the conversation, he stopped trying to blow up the tree. The pockmarked devastation around where he sat cross legged was slowly returning to normal.

"You want to try again, idiot?"

Naruto frowned slightly at the nickname, but otherwise said nothing about it. "My parents are dead. I grew up an orphan my entire life."

"So did like half the Shinobi forces. You're not special in that aspect. When a ninja mommy and a ninja daddy love each other very much, they leave an infant to fend for themselves. Continue."

"I was different from other kids. I had a giant chakra monster sealed into my gut-"

"A process that you survived, by the way."

"-and it was for that reason that I was ostracized and left to do on my own for so long, Kyu. I was bullied my entire childhood."

"Bullying isn't uncommon amongst your species."

"Didn't you bully Shukaku?"

"I never said it was uncommon amongst mine."

"Because of circumstances outside of my control, I was being hunted by some of the strongest people to walk the Elemental Nations."

"And because of those you were able to meet equally powerful allies, most of which became very powerful connections," Kyuubi responded. He yawned. "By the way, you also survived all of those encounters, which should not have been so. They could have killed and kidnapped you a thousand times over, what with how you brazenly run into danger. They don't however, and it confuses me."

"Pein killed the entire village."

"A fact you reversed mere minutes later. A feat you did by… what was it again? Oh yes. You talked the man to submission. Now that I think about it, for most of your fights you talk to the finish. Come on kid. I know you enjoy falling back on one trick ponies, but to use it every single time?"

Naruto scoffed. "It worked on you, didn't it?"

Kyuubi barked back. It was a somewhat mocking gesture.

"I never said it wasn't a potent ability. Once I find out how you do it I will immediately bring the world to its knees. That you haven't done so yet, even only temporarily, surprises me."

Naruto contemplated the Kyuubi's words, before shrugging them off. "It doesn't interest me, world domination. I'd rather just look over the people I love and be done with the rest of the world." Naruto then kicked his package: the comatose form of Uchiha Sasuke. The boy flinched at the slight pain but did nothing else.

"Besides, I wouldn't want everyone to end up like him."

"Yeah, about that," Kyuubi responded. He stared forlornly at the tree which just refused to remain as ashes, "why is he still like that? Shouldn't the gods have fixed him by now?"

To this, Naruto stared back at the raven haired boy. He hadn't noticed before, but the Uchiha had yet to become a dick again. It was something to be concerned about. Naruto, however, wasn't.

"I'm sure he'll be okay," he said while shrugging. Kyuubi sighed.

"Whatever you say, kid. What of the other brat?"

"Sakura? One sec." Naruto stated while looking around the arena. He was sure that this was where he left the two other members of his team, but neither were in immediate sight.

"They're not here."

"Oh, what an astute observation. Do you want one gold star, or two?"

"Shut it, furball. They should be here. The porn books are over there, after all, and Sakura isn't strong enough yet to carry this fight elsewhere. Where the hell is she?"

It was then Naruto heard rustling in the woods behind him. Out of the branches and bushes stumbled no other than his target: one Kakashi Hatake, and under his arm he carried a bloodied Sakura. With all the nonchalance of someone taking out trash Kakashi tossed her body, which flopped through the air as if it had no vigor in it at all, to the blonde boy's feet. Naruto looked at it, at first confused, before that confusion turned into anger.

Kakashi, seeing this, decided to speak. "You should have been here for her instead of running around wasting time. Now you have one minute left, and no teammates to help you." The man then got into a fighting stance. He kept his body low, and his center of gravity even. "I hope you're ready."

Naruto, meanwhile, was only barely controlling his rage.

"Furball!"

"Dear gods what, child?" Kyuubi responded.

"What the hell is this?" the blonde boy asked, pointing down at his feet. Kyuubi tapped into their mental link to see through the boy's eyes. The fox stared and stared, looking carefully around and taking in everything he could see before answering.

"That would be your feet, C student."

"Yeah," Naruto replied, "I know."

Kyuubi waited for a bit. He waited for a little more than a bit actually, in some vain attempt to understand what exactly was going on in his tenant's head. The fox quickly realized what a futile attempt this was.

"I'm sorry. I don't see where you are going with this. Would you mind elaborat-"

"I mean," Naruto dragged out mentally, "that there is supposed to be something there. Kakashi just walked out of the forest all menacingly and made a big show of throwing something at my feet and I have no idea what it is. I think its supposed to be genjutsu, but if it is then we have no idea of knowing what he's trying to show us."

"And what is the problem with that? You're immune to his tricks."

Naruto stared at the fox through their link. In truth he was still staring at his feet, but again, Kyuubi somehow knew what he was intending to do.

"Kyu. If I don't know what he's trying to trick me with, then how, pray tell, am I supposed to fuck with him?" And here Kyuubi immediately realized his error.

"Shit, you're right. Alright we can work this out. What did he say when he walked up to you?" Naruto thought hard. He believed Kakashi said something about "wasting time", "protecting" and "no one to help."

"I see," the fox mused, "well, with the absence of your pink teammate and the coma of your other one, I think its safe to assume that he is trying to show you the body of your non-potato teammate in order to either discourage you or enrage you." Naruto played with the idea.

"Yeah, that's a good guess. I think I remember Sakura saying something along those lines happening to her during the first run through of our Genin Exams."

"Wait. You remembered THAT innocuous little detail but you forget the abilities of one of the very few people to actually come close to killing you?"

"Deidaisy was never that close to killing me."

"Deidara."

"Whatever," Naruto shrugged. He then took a deep breath, before looking at Kakashi with as much genuine anger as he could whip up at the moment. In truth, it wasn't a lot, but damn was he trying.

"He took all your ramen and burned it in a fire."

"YOU BASTARD YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS." Naruto roared as he blasted from his spot. Kakashi, for his part, only managed a slight moment of shock before responding in kind. Instantaneously a high speed dance of fists and kicks erupted between the two ninja, only liberated by a short reprieve when both had to take a breath.

Kakashi was the first to break off. His breathing was labored as he did not expect to have to engage in battle against one of his students for so long. That exchange was, for lack of better words, actually not too rudimentary. Naruto, while leaving quite a few openings, performed feints and executed moves in preparation for others about three moves ahead. He attempted (and failed) to corral Kakashi into making amateur mistakes, and even though his anger had made him reckless, he wasn't the only one disadvantaged.

The Jonin had hid it well, but the effect of Naruto's opening attack from when he literally rocketed out of the trees and struck him had damaged him greatly. The scarecrow had managed to block, just barely, but it was like taking a sledgehammer to his arms. His bones creaked and ached, and it hurt to move them too much. He found himself unable to block some of his student's moves, and as such took damage in places he otherwise would have been fine.

Meanwhile Naruto wasn't doing too hot either. "We have forty five seconds Kyuubi. Get your ass over here." In response, the fox boy yawned.

"I'll get there when I get there."

Unfortunately Kakashi was already there and making every use of this ability. Shortly after Naruto finished his mental conversation Kakashi had reengaged, and Naruto found himself in a flurry of blows. The short blonde could see that Kakashi was favoring kicks over punches, but in the end that initial blow of his only managed to even the field. Kyuubi had been right: he was shorter, weaker, and just not used to his body anymore, which gave him handicaps that far outstripped his senior fighting wisdom. He overreached, under reached, and then plain just lost balance at times, which gave Kakashi more than enough time to beat him over the head because of it. It was frustrating to say the least. Naruto found himself put quickly on the defensive and, had he not known of his sensei's fighting style, he would have quickly succumbed to the man.

This took place in the span of ten seconds.

Naruto grunted and dug in his heels again. The last exchange with the currently older man had him reeling, and he had to stop himself from flying off. Lidded blue eyes locked onto Kakashi's singular black one. He looked just as tired as Naruto felt, but he had yet to reveal his Sharingan. That did not bode well.

"Kurama. I need you. Now."

"Hold your horses. I'm almost there."

"I will do whatever the hell I want to with my horses," Naruto responded. It was cheeky, but Naruto needed some form of nerve control. Kakashi was reaching for his headband.

Naruto wasn't entirely too sure he could take the man as he was now. Clumsy, injured, and barely holding on.

"You're more trouble than you seem, Uzumaki," Kakashi stated. His voice was low and menacing, and he stalked towards Naruto like a wolf ready to hunt. Naruto found himself repressing the need to shiver. How he wished he could still reach the top ramen now.

"I was always a prankster," Naruto responded. The boy had taken to backing up, one step away for every step Kakashi took towards him. Their sizes were much too different though, so Kakashi was slowly gaining.

"No," Kakashi muttered. He had an edge of steel to his voice. His hand had just gripped the bottom of his headband. "You're stronger than you should be too. Fun fact, Naruto. My Sharingan doesn't record things that I see in my dreams, and I definitely remember you knocking me out with that harem technique of yours. Ingenious, sure, but still treacherous. You could have killed me."

"But I didn't." Naruto added, hoping it would help his case. It didn't.

"Yes, that is true," Kakashi responded, "which is why I played along with you. At first you had done nothing to ring any alarms, but now it brings me to another problem." Here Kakashi finally lifted his headband. His other eye spun with a practiced and fully controlled swirl. Closing his other eye, Kakashi's legs tensed, and the man looked more ready than ever to pounce.

"You know too much for a kid your age. What exactly are you planning?"

"No-nothing sensei!" Naruto yelped. As fast as he could, the ex-Hokage brought up his hands to perform the Harem jutsu once again, only for his wrist to be grabbed on the second, and very last, seal.

"No, not again." Kakashi muttered, his voice low as a whisper. The man then yanked on Naruto's arm, slamming it into a nearby tree. Twenty seconds.

"Kurama, get your lazy ass into GEAR NOW."

"Alright, meat sack I'm here."

Kakashi, who had by now produced a kunai, had held it to Naruto's neck. He had begun to start interrogating the boy when he heard the rustling of paper behind him. Sparing a quick glance, Kakashi was surprised to find a clone of Naruto there, standing on the mountain of smut.

"Hi there." Kyuubi chirped. He wore a wide, toothy grin and placed a hand on his hips. He looked nonchalant and uncaring, but that made sense for who he is. In order to really hammer in the message though, the fox waved.

Kakashi was not impressed. Turning back to the original, Kakashi fixed him with a Sharingan enhanced glare. "Is this your last act? I expected better of you. A single clone won't be enough to stop me."

Naruto laughed. "Who said he was to stop you?"

Kakashi, who was now slightly confused by both Naruto's mirth, just turned back to the foxified boy behind him. Next to the boy now sat a barrel, the object quickly becoming a seat for the apparition.

"Hey, sensei? Guess what's in here?"

Kakashi didn't answer.

"I'll give you a hint," the fox stated cheekily, "I really, really love fire."

And just like that, the fox boy jumped high into the air. Without nary a hand seal, the fox blew a small fireball down to the barrel, igniting it. Kakashi, slightly confused at what was going on initially, was in no position to stop what was happening. In an instant the barrel, as well as what gasoline had spilled all over the books, had caught flame, bathing the books in an all-consuming fire of indescribable heat. Naruto had to gasp for air as Kakashi lost feeling in his arms.

"No..." Kakashi gasped out. He was forced to watch the scene not only in real time with his normal eye, which had opened unconsciously through shock, but with his Sharingan eye as well. He had witnessed the sacrilege burning of what he amounted to an almost holy book with his own two eyes, and now he could never forget. His Sharingan had once again copied something he wish it hadn't, and now this scene was burned into his eyes forever. Rage now overcoming his shock, he turned on the just now recovering blonde with hatred leaking out of his every feature.

"You… you monster." Kakashi growled.

Naruto started chuckling.

"You don't even know the half of it."

Kakashi had started stalking towards Naruto once again. His hand flinched, now devoid of any smut and with the urge to start up a chidori."

"Give me one reason I shouldn't tear you apart."

"They were all in there."

Kakashi stopped.

"Excuse me?"

"All of them, Kakashi-sensei. Every single Icha Icha Paradise in existence in this village was in that bonfire. Congratulations."

Kakashi, whose hand was about to spark slightly, started to shake. "What do you mean? That can't be-"

"It is. All of them."

"Impossible!" Kakashi shrieked. "You couldn't have gotten..."

"Yes," Naruto interrupted, "even the ones you had stashed away in your secret underground bunker. As of today, right now, there are absolutely no more Icha Icha in the Village Hidden in the Leaves!"

And Kakashi, whose eye scanned every single book in the pile in horror, knew that this was true. He weeped. He weeped and weeped and collapsed, his body sagging as if he had no bones.

"I don't… I can't..."

"Its okay Kakashi-sensei," Naruto consoled the man as he walked over to him. Reaching down, the boy grabbed the bells from the man's waist. A second after he did so, the bell rang, ending the test. "You still have the Icha Icha Nights." At this, the man seemed to become reinvigorated. Bolting upright, Kakashi reached around himself frantically, before reaching into his pouch and pulling out the purple cover book. Kakashi opened its edges and peered through its contents, his eyes drinking in its words as fast as he could.

He then immediately collapsed, his eyes a dead, empty void.

Kyuubi appeared in the clearing. "What did you do to him this time?" Naruto started to chuckle.

"There is no copy of Icha Icha Nights, Kurama," Naruto responded. He had then started to roll on the ground, laughing his sides off. "In that book, I included a couple pages from other works I remembered, then filled the rest of the pages with "There is no such thing as Icha Icha." Naruto started to literally howl.

"He's going to be out forever, hahaahahahaha."

Naruto continued to roll on the floor for several more minutes, the bells rolling with him, creating a harmonious jingling sound with uproarious laughter. After a while he noticed the Kyuubi was not celebrating with him.

"Kyuubi?" Naruto asked, sitting up. "What's wrong? This was hilarious!"

Kyuubi didn't respond to Naruto. Not directly.

"Uh, kid? Did you forget anything? Like, anything at all?" the Kyuubi asked. Naruto stared at him, then tried to think hard about anything he might have missed. When he couldn't think of anything, he turned back to Kyuubi.

"Not that I know of, no." Naruto answered.

"Ah, I see. Then this should be even funnier."

"What are you talking about Kuram-" was all Naruto was able to get out before a palm enveloped in blue, chakra flames hit him in the nape of his neck. The boy was sent sprawling across the clearing, missing the foxy form of Kyuubi after he dodged, and slamming into a tree. The boy slumped to the ground unconscious. Kyuubi turned back to the boy who had knocked his companion clean out. He then started laughing.

"HAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAAA," Kyuubi roared, "That was golden."

Neji, whose palm was still outstretched from his strike, simply stared at the clone before him.

"I don't understand," Neji stated, his voice barely remaining stoic. "Aren't Naruto's clones supposed to explode when the original is knocked out?"

Kyuubi choked down a laugh. "I'm not like the other clones."

Neji tilted his head. "What do you mean, Naruto? And why is your voice so low?"

"It's because I'm not Naruto. I'm the Kyuubi."

"Ah."

"Indeed."

The two beings older than the bodies they inhabited then stood among the full (unconscious) Team 7.