Hey guys. Your wonderful author, Redyoshi14 here. We have reached that super wonderful point where I'm actually starting to take this story seriously. I have things I want to happen and scenes I want to make impossibly come true, which means faster updates and more reliable writing. Sounds great, right?

Wrong. You're wrong. You're so dead wrong it hurts.

Cause, you see, as soon as I start taking this seriously, things start getting less random. When I care about what happens I get self conscious about my writing. For all I know, you guys are only here for the random. Don't get me wrong, the places I want to take this story are all still pretty out there, but it'll be more in the way of "planned random" rather than "what happens next oh well we'll both see together".

What I'm basically asking is... what do you think?

But enough of that. I know what you're really here for. On with the story!


"So Sakura isn't really dead?" Neji asked Naruto as they walked through one of the main roads of town. It was a busy day, and townspeople and merchants alike were scrambling to and from the main gates of Konoha. Despite the busy traffic however, the civilians managed to give the two boys a wide berth. It didn't have anything to do with Kyuubi though, who was quite literally standing aside the two boys as they talked. No, civilians just knew not to interfere with a ninja in any of their goings-on. It was just bad survival instinct.

"No," Naruto answered in between licks of his ice cream pop. It was blue and the boy wasn't really too sure what the flavor was, but he remembered eating it a lot with Jiraiya. "That was just a genjutsu Kakashi cast on her with the Sharingan to make her think she was dead. Commonplace stuff really. It knocked her out like a light and allowed him to make quick work of her." Naruto shrugged. "I guess he really wanted to get all three basic tenants of Shinobi out of the way."

Neji, who was also eating a blue ice cream pop, turned to his friend. "Three? There are like eighteen. What do you mean three basic?"

"I mean taijutsu, genjutsu, and ninjutsu."

Neji stared at the boy. "And then?"

Naruto stared back. "What do you mean, and then?"

"Well, if he's going to teach you those three, what about kenjutsu, shurikenjutsu and bukijutsu?" Naruto threw his hands in the air. The ice cream pop stayed in his hands somehow.

"No one ever even does those. Everyone focuses on the main three!"

"Tenten would disagree."

"That's cause she's a weapons specialist. Of course she would focus on those things. Literally no one else do-"

"And what about Lee? He can't even use ninjutsu and genjutsu, so how are those even the main three for him? If anything, his main three would be taijutsu, then kenjutsu and then bukijutsu. He uses all three to compliment his style."

"Well, again, that's a special case and-"

"He has a point there. I don't use any of those. If anything, I specialize in kinjutsu." Kyuubi replied. He was slightly more done with his ice cream pop than the other two. No one outside of the time travelers seemed to notice the foxy boy was there, and so every so often he tripped someone.

Naruto started to grind his teeth. "You're not even a ninja-"

"And what about Lady Tsunade? She doesn't even use ninjutsu. Or genjutsu either really. Its all crude taijutsu and healing jutsu. She grew up to be Hokage."

"To be fair she was like a million years old and she was trained by Grandpa Third and..."

"And there's even you. You barely know either ninjutsu or genjutsu. You use clones and lots of taijutsu, so one could say that you're not even on that list of main three, what with how you bastardize two of those tenants and flat out ignore the third."

At this point Naruto got fed up. Charging a Rasengan in his hand, then crushing it, Naruto used the latent kinetic energy to punch Kyuubi through a building. The establishment collapsed on him. Neji could barely contain his shock.

"Naruto!" the blank eyed boy screamed. He pointed to the destroyed building, his mouth agape.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"What the Sage was that?!"

"Oh, that?" Naruto asked. He started to scratch his head. "If I compress the Rasengan's energy in my hand, I can focus the power into a punch and..."

"What?" Neji sputtered. "No, I mean the destroying of the property! How many people could you have just killed?"

"Yeah, and don't even worry about what happened to me." Kyuubi muttered, climbing out the rubble. "And I was almost done with that popsicle too."

Naruto shrugged, "I dunno. Probably a lot; it was a big building. Why?"

Neji looked like he was going to burst. "Since when were we about killing innocent civilians? How much have you changed in the years, Naruto? What happened to the Naruto who was about protecting his loved ones and everyone in the village?"

Naruto stared.

"Well, I'm still about that, I guess," the blond answered, "just back in our own village. Not this one."

"What's the difference?" Neji asked, his eyes ready to bulge out of his head. "These people could have grown up to be the merchants who protected you or something!" Neji by this point had started to pace back and forth. It was obvious he was trying to work out how to fix this. Noticing Neji's panic, Naruto realized something.

Neji didn't know about the rules of the time jump. Naruto walked up – or tried to walk up – to the boy, but he found the process rather hard as Neji was pacing quite fast.

"Wait, hold on Neji. There's an-"

"Okay Naruto, I have a plan. Keep in mind the only reason I'm going to help you is because you resurrected me. So here's what we do. I'm going to cause a distraction. With the city in chaos, you'll take Kurama and high tail it as fast as you can from the village..."

"Wait, Neji. I don't think you understa-"

"Not now Naruto!" Neji snapped. "I'm trying to save your life!"

Naruto turned to Kurama. That was an interesting idea actually. "Can we die here?"

Kurama responded with a halfhearted shrug. His next action was to take Naruto's quarter done ice pop.

"I suppose it's going to be hard for you to evade hunter ninja for too long, but in our past life you were a Hokage, so they shouldn't pose too much of a threat to you..."

"Neji wait a minute. There's something you need to-"

"Then I suppose that you can make a living in Suna. They're not too friendly with Konoha right now, right? We can hide you off there." Then Neji got a really excited look on his face. "You can Talk no Jutsu the Kazekage!"

Kyuubi put his hand on Neji's shoulder. The boy looked at the fox boy in alarm.

"I assumed you to be the responsible one. Don't go around suggesting such liberal use of dangerous techniques ever again."

"Aren't you the creature that created an ability with the sole purpose of destroying large amounts of landscape?" Naruto asked.

"And yet here I stand, almost wholeheartedly assuring you that it pales in comparison to what your technique could do."

Around here Neji started to sober up. "Yes, you're right Mr. Kyuubi-"

"Please, I prefer Lord."

"… I was going on a bit of a wild spree there." Neji continued, completely ignoring the fox from that point on. "But the point still stands. We have to find some way to get you out of here. If the ANBU arrive and see what you've done, they'll surely – why is the house reformed?"

Sure enough the house had reformed.

"That's what I was trying to tell you, Neji," Naruto assured the Hyuuga. With a slightly reassuring look, Naruto attempted to say his next words carefully. "Nothing we actually do here has any consequence."

"Elaborate," Neji stated. He was staring at the house. Literally staring at it, Byakugan blazing, as the house reformed itself in front of his eyes. It would be captivating if it weren't so completely ridiculous.

"Well, to put it simply, the gods and powers-that-be find my life supremely hilarious. They want me to relive my life exactly as the way it was before, and for that reason they will not let me do anything out of the ordinary. Anything that I do that goes against the grain, such as destroying houses or..." Naruto trailed off. He looked around a bit, before finding a suitable target. With the grace and ease of a man who had trained to become the strongest fighter in the shinobi world, Naruto threw his kunai and pierced the head of a man walking down a street almost three blocks down. Naruto had pat himself on the shoulder for firing the blade around the many civilians between them, but Neji could only look on in muted horror.

"Killing peop-"

"Killing people, yes." Neji finished. The boy appeared to be looking at the reforming wreckage of the house still, but since his Byakugan was active, Naruto knew he was also keeping an eye on the villager, who was now standing back up. Casually, the villager pulled the bloodied kunai out of his skull and dropped it to the ground, before continuing on through the village with a recovering hole in his face.

"So… nothing matters what we do?" Neji asked. By now the house had fully reformed, both inside and out, and the people inside had started to move about as if nothing had just happened.

"Nope," Naruto answered, "not so long as it doesn't somehow correspond with what was actually supposed to happen around then."

"Well, I really wish you had told me that sooner."

"Hmm? Why?" Naruto asked. They had started walking down the street again.

"Because," Neji responded, "if you had, maybe I wouldn't have tried so hard to stick to the proverbial plan. I've been walking on eggshells trying to do exactly the same things I had done all those years ago. Not easy when it happened almost four years ago for me."

"Try like thirty for me," Naruto responded.

"Try never for me." Kyuubi chimed in.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that," Neji asked, "Naruto?"

"Hm?"

Neji pointed to the Kyuubi.

"The fuck?"

"Oh, that." Naruto commented offhandedly. "Yeah, when we became partners I didn't really think it fair for us to be sitting on uneven terms, so he can leave pretty much whenever he wants. The only reason he ever stays inside me anymore is cause he's too lazy to find his own apartment."

"I don't find the housing market too favorable right now." Kyuubi stated matter of factly. "Plus, people don't usually have too much success selling to a gigantic, fire breathing fox with extremely malevolent intentions."

Neji stared.

"He doesn't fit in well with the neighborhood watch," Naruto clarified.

"I have a feeling he's what the neighborhood is watching for."

"Besides, its nice to have backup whenever I need it. If something goes wrong, I can just have him come out and nuke everything. Its not even a problem anymore because, according to recent findings..."

"My nuke will immediately be reversed. Whoopee." Kyuubi didn't sound as enthusiastic as he should have been.

"...And everything will be reset. We've used it to retry the Kakashi Incident."

Neji quirked an eyebrow. "The Kakashi Incident?"

"Yes. The Kakashi Incident," Naruto repeated.

Neji waited for Naruto to elaborate. He made it three blocks before realizing that Naruto, in fact, was not going to. Kyuubi elbowed the blonde in his side.

"Oh, right. Yeah, we did this whole thing where we tried to find out what was under Kakashi's mask. Turns out it is literally impossible to find out."

Neji turned to Naruto. "What do you mean, 'impossible'?"

"I mean its impossible." Naruto responded. "We blew up the middle of the city about eleven times, and I even Mega Rasengan Barraged it. No matter what we did, we couldn't get the man to take it off. We even severed his head once."

Neji gagged.

"Eventually we just gave up. It wasn't worth the effort."

Neji regained his composure.

"Wasn't he Hokage?" Neji asked.

"Yeah, what of it?" Naruto responded.

"He had to get his face on the mountain, didn't he?"

"Well, yeah..." Naruto answered slowly. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"So… didn't he have to get his mask removed? I'm pretty sure its in the mandate for him to remove it."

Naruto balked.

"Well, yeah, it is in the mandate..." Naruto started. Neji raised his eyebrow.

"I feel like there's a 'but' in there."

"… but he still somehow got it up there."

Neji deadpanned, "you're joking."

"I'm not," responded Naruto.

"How did he..." Neji trailed off.

"I believe it had something to do with, 'its either this or Icha Icha being the National Literature.'"

"I see," Neji responded.

XxX

Its usually around here that one would chronicle the adventures of Team 7 as they undertook numerous D-ranked missions and tried their very hardest to catch Tora. However, because of the way the story is, that's going to be incredibly boring. Allow me to sum it up for you.

Sasuke was a vegetable

Sakura was a bubblegum princess.

Kakashi was a suspicious cyclops. And Naruto…

Naruto spammed the entire ordeal with clones until it was done and over with. As for Tora? Its dead. Its dead and never coming back.

Continuing…

XxX

Team Seven made their way into the room that was designated to hand out missions. Kakashi, one eye on his smut book and the other on his team, followed behind his three precious Genin. Normally this would be an easy phrase of speech to pull off, but Kakashi still had his Sharingan covered, so one eye was doing the labor of both.

These days Sakura had taken to following Naruto around on their missions. She still had a crush on Sasuke, don't get her wrong, but the boy was entirely unresponsive to anything other than extreme pain. It was easier to just waste time with Naruto, rather than force herself to talk to what amounted to a brick wall.

"So what do you think we'll get to today, Naruto?" Sakura asked. She walked with a springy gait, leaning forward slightly with her hands behind her back. It had been a few weeks since they, just barely, passed their Genin Exam, and it had sure done wonders for the girl's mood. Hanging out with Naruto had all but turned her outlook on life around. With Naruto's happy-go-lucky attitude and personality, Sakura couldn't help but have some of the boy's features rub off on her.

"Hmm, I'm not too sure, Sakura-chan." Naruto responded. He had an inkling, but it was just a guess.

"It might be the Wave Mission." Kyuubi yawned from inside Naruto's gut. Using a nail, the fox picked meat chunks out of his teeth. "It did happen around now in the past."

"I know," Naruto thought back, "but we can't let them know that, can we?"

Inside the room sat three figures, the most notable of which being the aged Hokage that sat in the center seat before a long table. On his left sat Iruka Umino; the Chunin with the scar over his nose just smiled and waved as Team 7 walked in. On the Hokage's right sat an unfamiliar Chunin. His face was indiscernible as it was buried in papers.

The Hokage levied a deep laugh as the team approached. "Done with more missions today, are you Team 7? I expected nothing less of your team, Kakashi."

Said Jonin could only manage a noncommittal grunt. Tearing his eye away from the book in his hand, Kakashi spared a quick glance at Naruto before turning back to his novel.

"I don't see how you could. A member of my team has a penchant to create armies, sir."

This statement earned a chuckle from both the Hokage and Iruka, but the mirth didn't extend to the cyclops. Without a further word, Kakashi turned back to his book – a blue, hardwood covered one – and continued reading. Seeing the conversation was going nowhere else, the Hokage turned to the children.

"And how are my newest soldiers shaping up? Are you learning a lot under one of my best ninja?" the wizened man asked. Somehow, the elder shinobi known as "The Professor" had always projected a genial, grandfatherly aura. It certainly helped in instilling loyalty in his older years of being Hokage, and by the time he passed the mantle onto his successor he had already passed on from being a stern commander in the eyes of the younger generation of shinobi.

Sakura was definitely one of the generation of ninja who could barely see Hiruzen Sarutobi for the war born and raised tactician he was, and thus answered him in a jovial tune. "We're fine, Hokage-sama! Kakashi-sensei has been teaching us chakra control and teamwork exercises, as well as working us on physical training."

Hiruzen chuckled and nodded gently. He spared a quick glance at Kakashi, who had met his eye briefly before turning back to his book. Hiruzen turned to the next genin in line.

"And how are you doing, Uchiha-san?" the old man asked. Once again his tone was gentle and inviting. One would be hard pressed not to expect some sort of genjutsu. Unfortunately, such geniality had little effect on what basically amounted to a walking asparagus. Sasuke's answer was silence.

Hiruzen once again turned to Kakashi. Kakashi had met his commander's gaze once more, and once more he adopted a look of nonchalance. Inside, however, Kakashi had started to sweat.

"Sasuke-san? Did you not hear me?" Hiruzen asked again. When he was met with more silence, his one eyebrow raised. Iruka decided to pick up from here.

"Sasuke? Did you not hear your Hokage talking to you?" Iruka asked. As before, the man was met with complete silence as the Uchiha just stared off into space.

"Okay, what is wrong with him now?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Pardon?"

"What is wrong with him this time?" Iruka rephrased. "There's always something up with him. I tell you, each week was like dealing with a small soap opera with this kid."

Hiruzen raised his other eyebrow. "Explain."

"Well," Iruka started, "let's say one week he'll come in. He'd be completely fine, and arguing with Kiba or Naruto over something stupid or another. Its friendly banter, so I let them play for a bit until class starts. But then… then another day comes, and he's ignoring everyone. Even me. I swear, the female students would be so unruly during those days I can't even..."

"Yes yes, that's fine Iruka," the Hokage interrupted. "So this kind of behavior isn't unusual?"

"Well, no. Not really, Hokage-sama." Iruka managed to get out.

"Then this is fine." Hiruzen stated, ending the conversation. He turned to the last genin. Truthfully, it would be the one he was most interested in. "And what of you, Naruto?"

"Yes. And what of you, Naruto? How are you gonna answer this man, now that you're actually a Hokage yourself sent back in time?" the Kyuubi asked.

"How the hell do you think I'm gonna answer?" Naruto thought back. Immediately Naruto focused outward and on the man who amounted to being a grandfather to him. Somewhere in his mind he had still barely reigned in his joy at seeing the Hokage again, but the effect had slightly dulled. This day was not the first he had encountered the aged man. On THAT day, Naruto had cried and hugged the Hokage for about an hour, with the universe constantly resetting around him. Now, he was just slightly sentimental. Taking a deep breath, Naruto prepared his lengthy answer.

"Well, to be honest, I'm completely and totally batshit upset, Gramps."

That statement earned a few turned heads. Even the paperwork Chunin stopped his machinations for a bit.

"Excuse me?"

Naruto sighed. It seemed he was answering that question a lot lately.

"I mean, that I'm disgruntled gramps."

"Didn't know you could pronounce words bigger than two syllables, punk." Kyuubi remarked. Naruto thought very rude words to him.

"I'm pretty damn upset." Naruto continued. "Every time I see you, I tell you that I'm actually a thirty six year old man from the future who became Hokage after settling down and having kids, and every single time you refuse to believe me. If this wasn't bad enough, immediately after time resets to just before I say anything, ruining the entire reason I starting talking in the first place and wasting my breath!"

Admittedly, Naruto couldn't blame them for being speechless at his tirade. It took him a minute but Hiruzen, being the leader, managed to recover.

"W-what? Naruto? What are you talking about? Are you oka-"

And then time stopped. The world turned gray, and everyone with the exception of Naruto froze where they were. In a flash of light, Neji appeared next to Naruto.

The Hyuuga turned to Naruto in supreme annoyance. His eye twitched as he leveled the blonde with a glare. "Really? Again? How many times do you need to do this?" Naruto shrugged.

"I dunno. I guess its just the most convenient way to get to you."

"Did you try, I dunno, calling for me? Sending a clone? Yelling really loud? You do that a lot. Do you really feel the need to freeze the very construct of time and space in order to have a conversation with me?"

Naruto nodded. Neji had to repress the urge to facepalm.

"What do you need, Naruto?"

"Well," Naruto began. He moved to sit on the sofa located at the side of the room. Stretching, the boy plopped down on it and spread himself across the entirety of it. "We're about to accept the Wave Mission. Since we'll be gone for a bit of time, I thought I'd tell you about what you can and cannot do while we're gone." Neji tilted his head.

"Wave Mission? Is this another one of those things you did that you expect me to know? Or should I have known about it and forgot?"

"What? How could you not know about the Wave Mission? It was a very big part of my life!"

"Well, excuse me for not knowing every part of your life! Believe it or not, not everything evolves around you!"

"What?" Naruto exclaimed. "Yes it does!"

Neji paused. "What? Well, um. That's pretty conceited of you." It was here that Kyuubi appeared out of Naruto's stomach. The foxy clone of Naruto appeared wreathed in orange flame in the air above Naruto, before falling on the boy. Naruto went 'oof' as the fox landed.

As soon as Kyuubi made himself comfortable, he looked at Neji. With a wide, toothy smile, the Kyuubi addressed the Hyuuga kid.

"Actually, he's not. The world really does kind of revolve around him."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "You too? I would've thought that you of all people would refute this."

"Really? Why?" The Kyuubi then cuffed Naruto around the head and brought him into an uncomfortable headlock. "I love this kid."

Neji had to admit the sight was weird, but soldiered through it. "Aren't you two like, really antagonistic towards each other?"

"What? No. We're best buds."

Neji looked at Naruto. His face was turning blue as the headlock slowly turned into a chokehold.

"I see."

"But regardless, the boy has a point. A lot of the world's events does seem to happen in his general area."

"Well, yeah. But those are just coincidences."

"Was it a coincidence when he just so happened to stumble upon Jiraiya?"

"Well, yes. It was. Anyone could have just stumbled upon him."

"Exactly, but no one did. Only Naruto came across that man just squatting in open daylight. What about Tsunade? What are the odds that they would stumble upon her in the exact town she was in, at the exact time Orochimaru was there, just so happen to learn the Rasengan in the exact amount of time he needed to, then convince Tsunade to return because he just so happened to remind her of her loved ones?"

"Well, I would admit that that situation is a little..."

"And what about you? You have to admit that the fight with you was lucky."

"Okay, listen here. He won because of you." Neji interrupted. Kyuubi sighed.

"Yes, and he got me because his father was Hokage and would rather not seal me into anyone else. Incredible and world changing things have been happening around him since he was born. I'm pretty sure the world revolves around him." The Kyuubi then stopped to gesture around the room.

"Even now, the situation calls for examination. The gods and the very powers that be created an entirely new world for the sole purpose of having Naruto relive his life. This world quite literally revolves around him, as his slightest deviation will come it crashing down around him. They then teleport you to us while they reset it. Its not hard, human. The world, before and after we were brought here, revolves around this blonde idiot."

Neji nodded. There wasn't much he could really argue against that. Thinking things over a bit, the Hyuuga turned back to the fox.

"Kyuubi?" Neji asked.

"Yes, human?" the fox responded.

"Could you let Naruto go now? I think we need him for the world to reset."

"Oh, right." And just like that Naruto was allowed to breathe again.

Naruto spoke between gasps of air, "You… dirty… son… of a bitch..."

"You know you love me."

"If… I had… three Rasengans… and you… Sasuke… and Madara where all… in the same… room..."

"Yes, human? Spit it out. Come on. I know you can do it..."

"I… I would… I would use all three..."

"Yes? Come on boy. You can do it. Who's a good ninja? You are! Yes you are!"

"You know what? Fuck… it." And just like that two Rasengan's were charged, smothered into one, then smothered into a third Rasengan made on the spot. The large and wildly rotating sphere teetered on the edge of instability, before being crushed into a fist. Smiling manically, Naruto punched Kyuubi with all the stored energy. The fox boy was sent careening out through the village.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "You know, now that I'm used to it and know the nonexistent consequences, that's actually rather hilarious."

"Tell me… about it..." Naruto gasped out.

"Wait. You could barely breathe, but you had enough energy to send the Kyuubi flying over – and in some cases through – the village?"

Naruto, who had still not regained his breathe, looked at Neji as if he were stupid.

"What are you… talking about? Rasengan is how I breathe."

Neji could only stare.