My Never
Chapter 3
So . . . because it's Christmas . . . or Hanukkah, or whatever holiday you celebrate, I updated both my stories. Yay. So be happy. I don't know when I'll be able to upload next. My crazy family is coming for Christmas and my house is going to be soooo full. But within a few days I'll probably be on here to escape from them, now that I think about it. Yeah . . . anyway Happy Holidays.
Some random trivia: The name Devony actually means dark haired. I had no idea when I picked it, but I think that's pretty cool, since Devony has really dark hair in this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show. (Someday I am just going to stop writing these pointless disclaimers . . .)
Mark ~ Seattle Grace ~ present
Mark couldn't help thinking at Derek looked like a meteor had bounced off his head. "Custody – what?" was all he managed.
"I'm sorry to have to inform you of this in this manner, Dr. Shepherd, but Addison Montgomery is missing, and she left custody of her child, of whom you are the father, to you."
"M-my wife is missing?" Derek whispered.
"Ex-wife, I believe, Dr. Shepherd." Derek didn't answer. "I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd. Truly, I am. I realize that you didn't know of Devony's existence until today. However, we need a decision regarding custody."
~ Meredith ~
"I'm being supportive, Cristina. I'm coming to watch Burke's surgery with you. I'm being your person."
"Well, can you stop being all supportive. I'm fine, and Burke is fine. We just had a fight. Married couples have fights. Get over it."
Meredith sighed and rolled her eyes as they walked into the gallery. To her surprise, there was a child standing on one of the chairs, watching the surgery with unwavering intensity.
"Hey, I don't think you're supposed to be in here," Cristina said sharply.
"Hey, be nice," Meredith protested, but she stopped short when the little girl turned around. She looked innocently at Meredith, and it was the same look that Derek sometimes gave her when he didn't want to admit he was doing something wrong.
No. It couldn't be. Meredith stared at the child, who was watching the surgery like it was a cartoon. It just couldn't be Derek's child. But there was nowhere else she'd ever seen that exact shade of blue.
She wanted to deny it, or ignore it, but it was impossible to doubt.
"Hey, guys, have you seen . . . oh, there she is," Izzie said, her voice relieved. "I – Meredith," she stuttered, registering that it was her there for the first time.
"Do you know? Is she . . . ?" Meredith asked.
"Is she who?" Cristina demanded.
"This is Devony Montgomery Shepherd," Izzie told Cristina quietly.
"What!?!" Cristina asked.
"Come on, Devony, let's go find your mom," Izzie said, taking her hand. Devony jumped down willingly enough.
Meredith sat down in a chair in the gallery and put her head in her hands. Her shoulder shook with silent sobs. In just one minute, by one little person, her life with Derek had been torn asunder.
~ Derek ~
Derek was looking at the woman in front of him, but her words were barely registering with him. In an instant, his entire world was changed. Addison wasn't in New York, happy and safe; she was missing and possibly dead. And they had a kid. Together. In his shock it felt as if the world around him was rushing forward while he waded around in his stunned surprise as if it was mud.
Janice explained Addison's disappearance. It was just too much for Derek to take in all at once. It was unfathomable to him that Addison had a child, that the child was his, and that she had gone back to New York alone and pregnant. It was unimaginable to him that while he had been having sex with Meredith in an exam room, a few feet away a child had been growing inside his wife. It was unreal that he had a daughter running around the hospital right at that very moment. Derek sat down in an empty chair with a heavy thump.
And now Addison was missing? There had to be a mistake. Addison was in New York living a wonderful life. She had to be. It was the only thing that got him out of bed some mornings. Especially the mornings when he expected to wake up to her red hair instead of Meredith's brown. It kept him sane when he lay awake next to Meredith, going over their latest problem in his head. Thoughts of her happiness, wherever she was, got him through the hard days when he couldn't get her out of his head.
Just then, Izzie Stevens came up, leading a dark haired child. Derek smiled when she saw how much she looked like Addison. Little Devony surveyed them all, and Derek found it unbearably cute. He began imagining Addison pregnant with her, and giving birth, and holding Devony as a baby, and he wished he'd been there.
He had missed so much, but he could have been there, if he hadn't messed up so badly. But . . . maybe this was his chance to redeem himself. He could make up for how he treated Addison by caring for her daughter. She was obviously very precious to Addison, and he could do this as a last favor to her. He realized, in that moment, that he would sacrifice whatever he needed to in order to take care of her, whether it was his friends or his job or his girlfriend.
"Of course I'll take care of Devony, for however long I need to. What – what has she been told about Addison?" he asked, glancing over at her. Devony had someone's cell phone and was pressing the buttons. Derek was unsure who the metallic red Razor belonged to, but at least she was occupied for the moment.
Janice opened the door to an empty exam room and led Derek and Mark inside. Several of the other people with her followed them. Devony walked in too, still concentrated on the phone. "Savannah told her that her mother had to go away for a little while," Janice told them softly.
"Hello? Hello?" came a voice through a speaker. Derek, Mark, and Janice turned to look at Devony, who was holding the cell phone.
"That's my phone!" Janice shrieked.
"Hello mister," Devony said into the phone. She was holding it upside down but looking very pleased with herself. Janice ran over and grabbed the phone, snapping it shut.
"Mommy's phone is better. It has fun games. Like monkey ball. It's an ipone."
"You mean iPhone?" Derek asked with a smile. He liked the little girl already, but taking care of her was going to be a chore. "Just out of curiosity, if I didn't take her, who would?"
"We would contact Archer Montgomery or Addison's parents."
"I think it's definitely best that I'm taking care of her, then."
"We'll need to meet with you and have you sign some papers, and discuss what is being done to find Addison. But then she can live with you. Do you have an apartment or a house here?"
"I um, well, I actually have a trailer. On some really nice property in the forest. I'm planning on building a house out there. Addison and I stayed in it when she lived here," he said defensively when Janice looked slightly apprehensive at the word 'trailer.'
Janice nodded. "Devony, come here. There's someone I want you to meet." Devony considered them for a moment, her head tilted to the side, before walking slowly over to stand by Janice. "This is your dad," she said, gesturing at Derek.
"Daddy?" Devony asked, looking at Derek.
"Yes, Devony, I'm your daddy." Derek wasn't sure what else he was supposed to say.
When Devony looked at him, it was like looking into a mirror. Her eyes were exactly the same shade as his. She was a painful collage of his self-hatred and his painful memories of Addison. In some ways he was glad that Devony looked like her, but in other ways it just served to make him hurt more.
"Is this Sewattle?" Devony asked suddenly.
Derek exchanged glances with the social worker. It was Mark who answered. "Yes, this is Seattle. How did you know?"
Devony shrugged. Derek noticed her clothes were all designer, and bit back a smile. "My mommy said when I turned four; we could meet my daddy in Sewattle."
So Addison had been planning on telling him about their child, maybe even letting him be a part of her life. She had been waiting until Devony turned four, maybe so she could understand better.
"She kept saying that we had to wait until I was four. She said that lots of times. But I wanted to see my daddy before that because all the kids at my preschool see their daddies allllll the time. Where is my mommy? I want her," Devony whined. Derek didn't know how to explain to her that she might never see her mother again.
"Well, Devony, you get to meet me a little early. And now you're going to live with daddy."
"But I want mommy," Devony said, beginning to sniffle. Derek was at a loss, but to his shock, he was saved by Mark.
He knelt down to Devony's level and took her hands. "Devony, your mommy is going to be away for a while. We don't know how long. You get to stay with your daddy, though. It will be fun. He'll play with you and do whatever you want."
Devony smiled and wiped her tears. "Like play princesses?" she asked, and Mark nodded. "What 'bout you? Will you play princesses with me too?" she asked Mark.
"Of course. I'm your Uncle Mark," Mark said, again surprising Derek.
"Okay!" Devony said, looking quite excited. "I will be Cinderella. Unca Mark, you can be Sleeping Beauty. And daddy," Derek jumped when she addressed him as her dad, "you can be the Little Mermaid."
Mark chuckled. "Don't you want us to be the princes?" Derek asked desperately.
"No! Then there would only be one princess," Devony explained. Derek and Mark exchanged nervous glances. Yes, their worlds were changed forever.
Addison ~ Mt. Sinai Hospital ~ 3 years, 11 months ago
Addison walked down the hall, clutching the results of her labs tightly. She wasn't sure what to hope for. She knew she shouldn't want to be pregnant when she was alone and the father was probably screwing his dirty-but-actually-not-so-dirty-anymore mistress. But part of her longed for a child, a part of her always had.
She also didn't think she would survive another abortion. She had felt at the time that aborting Mark's child had been necessary, but now she wasn't sure. Going back to Derek hadn't seemed to have made a difference anyway, and that child would have been in her arms right at that moment if she'd had it. The image was tantalizing. She wanted a baby.
