Sorry guys! It's finals week and I've been backlogged with everything and projects and work and projects and WORK AND PROJECTS AND WORK.

In order to calm myself I'd taken to sleeping and reading. Sorry. I'd do this full time if I could, but it doesn't pay the bills.


"Damn it!" Sasuke yelled as he was battered into the ground for the third time in one minute. Looking on as a bystander, Naruto could barely repress his giggles.

"You should know better than to fight Bushy Brows in hand-to-hand combat," Naruto said. His smile couldn't have possibly been any wider.

"He's younger than me! This shouldn't be happening!" Sasuke yelled back. A short distance away Rock Lee, a steadfast young man with the most ridiculous eyebrows you could ever see, landed with nary a sound. An inward facing palm held out in front, and a closed fist bent behind his back, the teen looked ready to continue his spar if need be.

Naruto tilted his head. "Well, technically, it should be. This is what happened last time."

Sasuke, who was picking himself up off the ground, looked at his best friend in utter disbelief. "The gods can force this too?"

"They made me fail a test," Naruto stated simply.

"That isn't a good example," Kyuubi said from inside the seal. "We don't know that you couldn't have failed that test all by yourself."

"Wasn't I supposed to bite you?" Naruto asked. Kyuubi snickered.

Sasuke wasn't feeling so jolly. "This is stupid! I have the Mangekyo Sharingan! How is he outpacing me?"

"Couldn't Bushy Brows do that in the future, too?" Naruto asked. Sasuke blanched.

"Well, yes. But this isn't the future, and this isn't future Lee. Future Lee sweat blood and tears for many, many years in order to get the kind of speed and power he did. This Lee is only starting to get that kind of dedication."

Naruto nodded. "I see your point."

"Besides, even future Lee couldn't completely outrun my eyes. That this younger version can is ridiculous."

"Anything is possible with godlike intervention."

"Well screw that and screw you," Sasuke screamed. Turning over, the Uchiha stared down his green spandex wearing opponent and did what an Uchiha usually did when they caught sight of someone.

Be a total and complete dick.

All at once Lee's leotard caught on black, unholy fire. The flames flared and grew, until Lee was covered in them like an armor.

"Haha! Take that gods! What do you have to say about that?" Sasuke asked, yelling his question as a challenge to the powers that be. Apparently they took it, because Lee stood where he was, completely nonplussed.

"Your flames are nothing compared to the white hot intensity of my Fires of YOUTH!" And just like that, with sheer willpower alone, Lee shunted the flames away.

"But… wait… what?" Sasuke babbled. His mind was on complete shutdown.

"Did Bushy Brows just shrug off Amaterasu?" Naruto asked, clearly as surprised as his onyx haired counterpart.

"It appears so," Kyuubi responded. "About time your constant pissing in the wind came back around."

"Are you quite done, Mr. Uchiha? You will need more than pretty flames if you want to challenge me." Lee then pumped his chest with his fist. "It also helps that my youthful attire is completely resistant to all matters of fire!"

"That's… impossible! That's hacks! The gods can't give you that!"

Lee chuckled. "As much as I would like to say it was a gift from the gods, my outfit was formatted and developed by none other than Guy-sensei himself! Forged from his sweat and… other… bodily secretions, which I hope was his blood and tears, this suit cannot be marred by any source of the elements!"

"That makes too much sense," Naruto said, nodding from the sidelines. "I cannot remember either Lee or Guy ever having so much as a loose string on their leotards. Why hadn't I noticed until now?"

"Because you, like everyone else, tried your hardest to focus on anything but the leotards."

"I try to focus on the leg weights," Naruto said. "They are a fascinating color of orange."

"I pay attention to the eyebrows. In all my years I have never seen anything so unnatural."

"We've seen people who are literally immortal."

"I can make more sense of that."

Back with Sasuke, the man/boy was having a tough time hitting the actual boy. Throwing everything short of the Susanoo, Sasuke found that absolutely nothing hit.

"Why won't you go down?" Sasuke asked while in the middle of a Great Fireball Technique. The bushy browed boy just laughed, before dodging the fireball as if it were a simple rock, and not a gigantic, room encompassing mini sun.

"Nothing can douse my Fires of Youth."

"Bullshit!" Sasuke screamed, and once again doubled his efforts.

"I don't think Sasuke is taking this whole, 'you can't change anything' deal too well." The Kyuubi sounded much less concerned about things than he should have been.

"Really? What gave it away?" Naruto asked.

"The fact that he is still, after several retries, trying to beat Rock Lee even though we told him that he was supposed to lose."

Naruto stared off into open space. As Kyuubi was in his seal, the fox had no reason to believe that his host was meaning to stare at him. Somehow, in some way though, he did. "What?"

"I don't think you catch on to when I'm being sarcastic."

"Oh," Kyuubi said, before donning a smile. Again, there was no way that Naruto should be able to tell this, but he did. "I get your sarcasm just fine; I just don't respond to it."

"You're a prick Kurama."

"At least I'm not your teammate."

It was around here that Sasuke found his face firmly planted in the ground once more. Using wobbly arms, the father and beloved husband gingerly pushed himself upright from his beating by the fourteen-year-old boy.

"This… isn't… over…" Sasuke said through gritted teeth. Lee found that he didn't agree.

"I'm afraid that it is, Mr. Uchiha! I have proven that my hard work and Flames of Youth can overcome your genius and bloodline limit, and I am overjoyed!"

"No!" Sasuke screamed. "We're not… ending this… here!"

"Truly," Lee continued. "I have proven not only the superiority of Guy-sensei's teachings above Kakashi-sensei's—"

"To be fair, his teacher's 'teachings' amounted to 'here's the thing, do it'."

"—and proven once and for all that green spandex trumps the Sharingan!"

Sasuke could feel the vein on his forehead come close to bursting. "This… not… done yet!"

"And finally…" Lee started. Kyuubi perked up from where he was lounging in Naruto.

"Naruto," Kyuubi stated.

"What?" Naruto asked. He was interested by the goings-on of the scene before him. Namely Sasuke getting beaten. In the future the only person who could do that was him.

"I want, no, need you to listen to me for once in… ever."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Now this is a curious request. What brought this on?"

"I can feel something coming. I don't like it. We need to get out of here."

"Please," Naruto scoffed at the idea. "What could possibly happen that could threaten us?"

"I don't know, but I don't want to find out."

"… finally, I get to prove to Sakura-chan…" Lee continued.

"Oh," Naruto responded. "That might be bad."

"That she…"

The vein on Sasuke's head grew larger, despite the fact it should have burst long ago. To Naruto, who could sense chakra and intent, Sasuke was a roiling mass of unstable chakra and emotions. This of course was nothing new. What was wrong with the situation was that the emotions involved this time were mostly anger.

"…belongs…"

"Brat," Kurama growled.

"Hmm?"

"Take the girl and go!"

"Oh right!" And just like that Naruto grabbed Sakura and disappeared. A shimmer and a few fallen leaves were all that remained to mark their departure.

"…to me!" Lee finished.

XxX

Naruto laughed hysterically on the floor of the time voided past. Tears streaming down his whiskered cheeks, the ex-Hokage could barely breathe.

"For the first time, ever, it isn't my fault that time broke!" the blonde yelled. Sasuke had the decency to appear embarrassed. At least, as embarrassed as an Uchiha could appear. In truth Sasuke still looked prideful, but at least less so than normal.

"It isn't my fault."

"It's entirely your fault," Neji said. He stood across from them in the town's square. Since this was where Naruto fled to when Sasuke more or less exploded, this was where their meeting was to be held apparently. "You turned into a Perfect Susanoo and chased Lee for three hours. I would say this is pretty much entirely your fault."

"I'm just surprised that the powers-that-be allowed that rampage to last for so long," Kyuubi said. He was sitting in a chair he had stolen from a nearby shop. It'd be returned later.

Naruto had a witty follow up to that, but he was currently indisposed. Every time his laughter would calm down to a low giggle he would, upon remembering what happened, immediately break into laughter again. It had taken about half an hour for the world to reset so far, and the entire time Naruto had been laughing in this not breaking cycle.

Sasuke was not amused. "You could stop now, you know." Naruto's answer was even more raucous laughter. Kyuubi had to answer for him.

"He means that he can't. He actually, physically, can't."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "You could understand that?"

"No, but his thoughts are still available to me."

"He's communicating telepathically to you?"

"No," Kyuubi answered once more. "In his head he's laughing just as heard. It's just that I could deduce from both looking at him and hearing his thoughts that he can't hold back his laughter."

Neji turned to Sasuke. "This is the man you chose to lead the village." Sasuke shrugged.

"I didn't choose anything. If it were up to me, I'd sooner put Kiba of all people in charge, just so the idiot wouldn't get a big ego. No, it was Kakashi who nominated Naruto, and at that point there was really no other choice."

"What do you mean?" Neji asked.

"Imagine it this way," Kyuubi started. He had reverted to fox form and had stretched out over the recliner he had stolen. "The class clown over there was the strongest shinobi in existence when Kakashi was chosen for the Sixth Hokage. How do you think he felt when that decision was made?"

Neji shrugged. "Probably not very happy."

"Correct," Sasuke grunted. He did an exaggerated thumbs up. Said display prompted an equally enthusiastic display of a finger back at him from the Hyuuga.

"Quite," Kyuubi continued. "He was less than ecstatic, but he accepted the situation regardless. That being said, he was still quite vocal about his displeasure. Even well after he became a father and gotten married, he would still regularly pout about this."

Neji looked at the blonde child rolling on the ground. Such a thing should not be allowed to govern children.

"So when he heard that Kakashi was finally stepping down, Naruto put in his name for first candidate almost as soon as the question was posed. Do you want to know what happened to everyone else who stepped up?"

Neji felt that was an answer he didn't need.

"Nothing. Because no one else stepped up. The instant anyone did, Naruto would drown the area in chakra and pure, unbridled malevolent intent. It was enough to give me the chills and I'm made of nothing but those two things."

Neji looked back at the blonde child that was still rolling on the ground. Such a thing should not be allowed to govern children.

"Kakashi had, at that point, come to a very reasonable conclusion." Sasuke had decided to pick up the lull in explanation. "Even if Naruto was the worst Hokage that would ever grace the Five Great Nations, there would never be a single person to stand up to him and survive. No one would ever oppose him. The Leaf would fall or flourish because of Naruto, and Naruto alone, and there was absolutely no one who could change that fact. Naruto won the Hokage hat by a landslide."

"Naruto would go on to govern the village through the use of overwhelmingly excessive Shadow Clones. It made life much more convenient, but also provided a horrifying truth."

"And what would that be?" Neji asked, slightly horrified.

"That Naruto, if he so chose, could actually be the Village Hidden in the Leaves. His clones, after a year, had opted to perform the roles of anyone who would otherwise be unable to. He became the police, carpenters, painters and even talk show hosts when the needs arose. There came a day when everyone realized that this man, who had during the war shared his chakra with every other available ninja, had actually filled in a role for every single profession imaginable. We all learned something that day, Neji."

"And… and what was that?" Neji asked, now genuinely horrified.

"That this is Naruto's world," Kyuubi answered. "And we all live in it."

All three entities turned to the childlike force of nature and quietly let it revel in its juvenile merriment. Every moment that it deluded itself into mediocrity was another moment that the world could rest in peace.

"Why the Sage was he allowed to come up with the Talk no Jutsu?"

XxX

"I don't want to be here," Sasuke grumbled. He followed Naruto as he led the group through the hall to the examination room. They had already passed the fake examination room a floor below, and escaped the ordeal without incident. They were supposed to tip off the group about the genjutsu, but decided against it. The gods would decide how to get them to their proper place.

Naruto smiled as his best friend pouted. "Neither do I, but we don't really have a choice."

"We could blow up the town again," Kyuubi suggested. Sasuke perked up at the at those words. Since he was an Uchiha this wasn't readily noticeable.

"I like that idea. Let's do that," Sasuke agreed. Naruto shook his head.

"Been there, done that. We don't need to do it again."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "I wasn't there, idiot."

"And whose fault is that?" Naruto asked.

"Yours."

"Oh right."

And just like that the two devolved into a shouting match. Their screams reverberated around the testing area until they made their way downstairs to the fake examination room. The children (and not so children) there looked around, before noticing everything that was off.

"Hey, this is only the second floor!" an observant Genin shouted.

All Genin proceeded to march up the stairs.

Back with the group, Sakura started massaging her forehead. "Must you two fight at every available moment?"

There was a garbled response from both boys that wasn't entirely understandable. This made sense, as Naruto currently was biting Sasuke on the head and Sasuke had his mouth full of Naruto's fist. Sakura sighed.

"I'm never going to be able to control you two, am I?" she asked. Her answer was met with a hum.

"No, it doesn't appear so," a lazy voice drawled. Sakura jumped when her teacher suddenly appeared behind her. After getting over her shock, she glared at the Jonin.

"Yo," Kakashi chanted, head half buried in a book. He waved lazily, not really caring that only one of his students was paying any attention to him.

"Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing here?" Sakura asked in lieu of her more occupied teammates. If Kakashi was concerned that the two stronger members of his squad, besides him of course, were currently rolling around on the ground, he didn't show it.

"I thought I'd stop by to give you all a little bit of encouragement, but…" The scarecrow stared at the two boys. He could feel the chakra building between them. "I think you guys are lively enough."

Sakura sighed, though this time was much more heavy. "Lively is an understatement." The pink haired girl then leaned forward, dropping her voice down to a whisper. "Do I have to do this now, sensei? I don't think we're ready."

Kakashi eyed his two other students. Fire and wind natured chakra started to saturate the air in the hallway.

He looked back to his last student. "I think you're fine."

"Sensei, they're going to kill each other."

Kakashi waved her off, "they'll be fine."

Meanwhile, behind them, the air become noticeably both thicker and hotter.

"Sensei," Sakura pleaded. "Save me."

Her response was the whistling of air that signaled her sensei's departure. She hadn't even seen him move.

"Why me…" she whimpered as the explosion that heralded her teammates' bouts of fighting engulfed her.

XxX

"I hate you," Naruto mumbled. He was currently staring down Kabuto Yakushi, a Leaf "Genin" that was overall unimpressive. His silver hair reminded the young blonde of his teacher, but his charming, disarming smile and unassuming glasses made him entirely too expressive to be Kakashi.

"What was that, Naruto-kun?" Kabuto asked, his voice gentle and inviting.

"He says that he hates you," Sasuke responded. His voice was toneless.

"Well, yes, I gathered that much," Kabuto responded. "But why?"

"Because you're a prick," Naruto said. He had folded his arms. "That, and your glasses suck."

"Well, that's mean," Kabuto said with a frown. He looked genuinely hurt by the statement.

"It's also true," Sasuke picked up. "And I know you're faking that frown. You don't feel any emotion besides lust. And even then it's only for Orochimaru."

Kabuto turned a sharp eye to Sasuke. "And how exactly would you know that?"

"I, uh," Sasuke stammered. "Guessed?"

"Well, that's a very dangerous guess," Kabuto responded, his silver eyebrows slightly furrowed. "And also untrue. I have about as much love for the Snake traitor as you do."

"Tell me about it," Naruto mumbled. He was promptly elbowed by his raven haired teammate.

"My idiot teammate aside, I don't think you should be giving out free information on potential test m\takers right in front of them. That's an easy way to get yourself killed."

"What?" Kabuto asked. "No way! I've done this for seven years and no one's ever had a problem with it before!"

Absently, Kabuto bent over to pick up an errant card that had fallen out of his pack. In doing so he accidently dodged a shuriken, which proceeded to fly into the chalkboard at the front of the room.

Neither Naruto nor Sasuke could tell whether the traitor did that on purpose.

"Anyway," Kabuto said as he stood back up. "I'm willing to share any information on anyone you would like. Any names in particular?"

Mulling it over, Naruto decided to finally give in. "Fine, tell me about Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke was a little less than enthused about this.

"Your own teammate, eh?" Kabuto asked, eyebrow raised. "I would think you would know everything about him."

"Yeah Naruto. He has a point," Sasuke supplied, his tone clipped.

"Nah. Looking around this room, I can tell that he's the biggest threat to me here. Let's see what you know."

On a side note, not many other listening teams took kindly to Naruto insulting them.

"Well, if you say so." Kabuto ruffled through his Ninja Info Cards to pull out one in specific. Upon finding it, the man channeled some chakra into it, revealing a picture of the child and some information under it. "Here we go. Sasuke Uchiha, twelve years of age. Some D-rank missions and… what's this? An A-rank mission under your belt? Impressive!"

Sasuke preened under the praise, even though it was severely lacking to his actual accomplishments.

"It also says here that you are an exceedingly accomplished Genin. Your biggest accomplishment being surviving an encounter with the rogue Mist Ninja Zabuza Momochi…"

"Well, I don't mean to brag…"

"… while being a vegetable."

"Wait what? No," Sasuke's façade was shattered immediately.

"No, it definitely says here that you were a vegetable. Care to explain?"

"I wasn't a vegetable." Sasuke grumbled. Naruto placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You definitely were. It's okay. Embrace it."

Sasuke brushed the blonde's hand off. "I don't have to embrace anything!"

"Then you'll never get better."

"I would have never been worse if it weren't for you."

"Sasuke-kun. If you don't want to get better then I'll just take care of you again," Sakura said. Both of her male teammates paled.

"I was a vegetable," Sasuke said. His voice was lifeless.

"Ah, that's good. I was afraid my cards were inaccurate. Anyone else?" Kabuto looked around the room.

"Yes, I want information on Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto glared at Kiba.

"What?" the dog boy asked. "I've heard you've gotten stronger recently. It'll be good to know how strong!"

Kabuto clicked his teeth. "Well, if you must." He then searched through his deck. Following the same procedure as he did Sasuke, Kabuto read off Naruto's card.

"Same mission history as the Uchiha, no surprise there as they're on the same team. Hmm, it also says here that your chakra levels are through the roof."

Naruto smirked. "You know what they say about men with big chakra levels…"

"It also says here you're responsible for an S-ranked disaster?"

Sasuke glared at his teammate. "What the hell did you do now?"

Naruto shrugged.

XxX

Elsewhere, a multi-colored kunai pierced the heart of Aoi, shattering his Raijin no Ken in the process. As the missing nin fell to the ground, he could only gape at the sheer destruction that was left in the knife's wake.

XxX

"I bet your very birth was an S-ranked disaster," Sasuke teased. Naruto stuck his tongue out in response.

"Apparently, that's not your worse feature though. Did you… create a forbidden jutsu?"

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked. It was a question mirrored by almost everyone else in the room.

"Yes… yes!" Kabuto exclaimed, holding up the card as if it were some holy creation. "It was you! You created the famed jutsu that Master Orochimaru has been trying to recreate!"

"What was that, now?" Sasuke asked.

"Nothing!" Kabuto covered up. His excitement wasn't abated in the slightest by his slip up. "The famed jutsu that shakes the Elemental Nations to its core! Done with no handseals and unavoidable or reversible, labeled an SS-class Genjutsu of the highest caliber, the Talk no Jutsu! You're the one who created it?"

Naruto chuckled awkwardly. "Heh… maybe?"

Every other available ninja moved away from him.

Sasuke, however, moved closer. He had a hypothesis that, if already the subject to it once, one could not be affected by the technique again. He hoped it was true. Leaning in, the last loyal Uchiha whispered in his best friend's ear. "How do they know about this already?"

"Gramps said that he'd tell the gods about it. I'm guessing he actually went through with it. With the recent disaster around you, Uchiha, I'm not surprised." The Kyuubi managed to sound sleepy.

"So they banned it here?" Naruto asked. He then shrugged his shoulder. "Still gonna use it."

"Wh-what?" Kabuto stammered. "But… the Talk no Jutsu is banned in all five nations!"

Naruto shrugged again. "And who exactly is going to stop me from using it?"

"You'll be hunted down?"

"I'll use it on the hunter ninjas."

"The Kages will come after you!" Kabuto screamed.

"I'll use it on them too."

"B-but…" Kabuto was at a loss for words.

"Yes?" Naruto asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I don't… I don't know…"

"I thought so." Naruto nodded, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "Now why don't you go sit down over there as you contemplate the futility of your almost meaningless existence?"

Kabuto nodded blankly, before slinking off into a corner. Looking at the man walk feebly away, Sasuke prepared himself to do something he'd never thought he'd ever have to do.

Comfort Kabuto.

"There there," Sasuke cooed, rubbing his hand on the traitor's back. "It's okay. The first time I realized it was all pointless, I was pretty depressed too. I was also missing an arm."

Kabuto took a glance at the twelve year old's arms. They were both intact.

He made a mental note to write down "insanity" on the side effects of receiving the Talk no Jutsu. He then looked at the blonde boy run over to the Suna Jinchuuriki and pat him on the back. Hard.

He made a mental note to write down "insanity" on the side effects of administering the Talk no Jutsu.

XxX

"H-here… N-Naruto-kun. Y-you can c-opy off my paper…" a timid, almost fully withdrawn lavender haired girl whispered. Her lightly tinted violet eyes could barely look in his direction.

For it was the written part of the Chunin Exams, and she was sitting next her crush: Naruto Uzumaki.

Little did she know that she would be the future wife and mother of his children, but she couldn't be faulted for that. She didn't come from the future.

Naruto did in fact come from the future. He still had the same difficulty looking Hinata in the eyes.

"I-its okay, Hinata. I don't need…" Naruto started. He was feeling incredibly guilty, and thus, incredibly nervous while talking to his future wife. She had harbored feelings for him since they were barely older than toddlers, which mean she definitely liked him now. Naruto had experience dealing with girls with crushes on him—after he became the hero of the Fourth Shinobi World War he had many adoring fans. He didn't, however, have any experience dealing with girls he liked back, which led him to his current situation.

Also, a one chance test was going on right now and cheating was prohibited. He was being encouraged to cheat, yes, but he couldn't be caught doing it. Looking over and blatantly copying would be the most obvious way of doing so.

Hinata didn't like his refusal very much. "B-but… if you don't copy then you'll fail!"

Naruto shook his head. "What? No, I'll be fine Hinata, it's just a…"

"Naruto-kun, if you don't pass this test, you can't become Chunin!"

"Well, yes, Hinata, but still, I don't need to…"

"If y-you don't make Chunin… you can't become Jonin… and if you… if you…"

"Hinata, calm down!" Naruto whispered as harshly as he dared. It didn't seem like any of the proctors noticed he was talking, but that was liable to change. "I'll be fi-"

"You won't become Hokage, Naruto-kun!"

That exclamation brought alarm. Several eyes darted in their direction, but both test takers had assumed a less suspicious posture. No one said anything, so after a while the two relaxed.

Naruto spoke up first. "It's fine, Hinata! Thank you for your concern, but I'll be fine."

Hinata spied her crush's paper. There was absolutely nothing on it save an unsavory picture of Ibiki, their test proctor. She stared back at Naruto, disbelief evident in her eyes.

"I, uh… I promise?" Naruto resisted the urge to scratch the back of his neck.

The deadpan look Hinata sent him no doubt showed her reluctance to go along with it.

XxX

Morino Ibiki was a hulking monstrosity of a man. Angular in all that he was, the man was a moving mountain of muscle clad in nothing but black clothes, half of which was leather. He was a dangerous, intimidating ninja who very few had the honor of meeting. Even fewer actually wanted to do such a thing.

Such a man was the proctor of the Chunin Exams. Looking over the cute little future killers with a scowl, he prepared to administer the tenth question. This question would determine whether or not any of them would continue on in the Exams.

The behemoth smiled on the inside, but nevertheless remained stoic on the outside. Opening his mouth, he asked, "Well, the tenth question is-"

"Hurry the hell up!" Naruto yelled, irritation marring his face.

Wait, what?

"Yeah, we don't have all day, Ibiki!" the contestant Ibiki recognized as the Last Uchiha followed up. He felt a vein in his forehead start to twitch.

"I would have started already if you two hadn't started-"

"Then start already!" Naruto yelled, even though he was at the front of the class and thus had no reason to. The Uchiha nodded.

"We've been here far too long already. Just let us go already."

"I'm trying to, but-"

"Screw it, I'm walking out myself," Naruto said, before getting up. Sasuke quickly followed suit and, seeing her teammates walking out, Sakura had to follow as well.

Noticing his chance escaping, Ibiki had to speak quickly. He couldn't fail them, they hadn't refused the question, no matter how rude they were being. "You all pass!"

Naruto and Sasuke smiled.

XxX

"I forgot how skinny Anko was," Naruto whispered to his best friend. Sasuke nodded.

"I forgot she used to only wear a trenchcoat."

"I forgot that she existed," Kyuubi drawled as he lay spread eagle outside The Forest of Death. Every so often someone tripped on his tail.

"People have value that goes beyond being food, Kyuubi," Naruto whispered. His response was a nonchalant shrug from the fox and a kunai to the cheek from Anko.

Said Snake Lady appeared behind Naruto, catching the kunai in the process. Slowly, and with a tongue far longer than it should have been, Anko licked the blood off the kunai before whispering in the young blonde's ear. "You should really pay attention when someone is talking, kiddo."

Naruto smiled, an act that caused both Sasuke and Kyuubi to clear out.

"So should you," Naruto whispered back and, before Anko could react, exploded. Anko and Sakura, who was still in the vicinity of the blast, were sent careening away. After a while the smoke from the Exploding Clone settled down, revealing a laughing Naruto in the center of its crater.

"I've always wanted to do that," Naruto cackled. "But it would have been immature for the Hokage to take revenge on one of his own soldiers."

Anko groaned from her new trench in the ground.