My Never
Chapter 7

Okay, sorry, I got a little confused and posted the wrong story chapter here. But it's fixed now, my bad.

This isn't super long but I think it answers a few questions and clears up a few things. (I know you've probably been wondering who Evelyn is, she's been mentioned a few times.) I wasn't actually going to upload today, but it might be a little while before the next update so I decided to. Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers!


Derek ~ Mt. Sinai ~ 14 years ago

He knew it caused gossip. He knew all the older doctors were looking disapprovingly at the girl who had foolishly gotten pregnant during her internship. They thought they knew so much better, and it made Derek so angry he wanted to punch the smug looks off of their faces.

The only supportive one was Richard. Derek knew he was a little disappointed in them, since their careers and entire lives would be affected greatly, but that he cared about his two young interns deeply.

Derek sprinted through the crowded halls, trying to get to Addison's room soon enough to see his child born. He still wore his scrubs and scrub cap, as he had been in the middle of assisting in a surgery when they had paged him to tell him his baby was coming.

He was nervous, as all new fathers had a right to be, but Derek was especially so. Just two weeks ago they had found out that their baby had a congenital heart defect. And now Addison was going into preterm labor, and their baby was only 25 weeks old.

The odds weren't good, but Derek was young and optimistic and he believed that if he and Addison could be strong and trust that their baby would live, then it would. He would later curse that optimism and the naivety that made him believe such things.

When he held Evelyn Grace Montgomery Shepherd in his arms five hours later, he was so full of hope and light and laughter and love he felt as though he might burst. She would need numerous surgeries if she survived the night, but she was alive and well in his arms right then.

He visited their daughter while Addison slept, and then fell asleep himself in a chair outside the NICU. That night changed everything.


Derek ~ Meredith's house ~ present

"Is this the last one?" Meredith called from her mother's old office.

"Well, I've got more at the trailer, but those can stay there for now." Derek was moving some of his excess stuff into Meredith's house. He took the scissors out of his pocket and cut through the tape of a box. It was filled with old photos. Derek smiled at a picture of him, Addison, and his family in New York.

He was glad to have the day off, because on his third day with Devony, he was still unsure what to do about work. She could go to the hospital daycare, but Derek was afraid of what she would do there. And if she got thrown out, he wouldn't have anywhere for her to go in an emergency. He could take her to consults easily if he needed to, but of course she could not accompany him when he went into surgery. So far some of Meredith's friends, their interns, and Mark, Bailey, and Richard had taken turns watching Devony when Derek needed it, but he wasn't sure if this arrangement would last forever, especially since Devony needed constant attention.

As if to prove this point, there was a sudden screech from Meredith. He ran out of the room to see Devony standing in front of a wall, purple popsicle juice dripping down her arm. She was wearing someone's t-shirt with the words 'party like a wok star' and a wide smile. Derek accessed the damage. Devony had used the popsicle as someone else would a crayon or marker, so there was a large person draw in purple juice covering Meredith's wall. Derek sighed.

Meredith was not happy. "Derek, can you not control your kid?"

"She's only three, Meredith, and she's going through a rough time. Her mother is gone and she's living in a strange city with strange people," Derek defended.

"Still, do you have no control over what she does?"

"The only one who could control her was Addison," Derek said softly.

Meredith rolled her eyes and stomped off. He heard her ranting while she went through the boxes. "Let's get you cleaned up," he said to his daughter. "And, Dev, I like your drawings, but let's find some paper next time, okay?"

"Okay," Devony agreed happily, wrapping her sticky arms around his neck.

"Here, Derek, I can take her so you can talk to Meredith," Izzie said, coming down the stairs with Alex behind her.

"Yeah, hey, kid, want to come play with us?" Alex asked. Derek looked at Devony inquiringly. She nodded, so he set her gently on the floor.

She ran to take Izzie's hand immediately. "Be good," Derek told her. She smiled innocently. "Thanks, Izzie, for doing this. I'll clean up the wall later. 'Cause you kinda have to watch her every minute." Izzie nodded and picked the little girl up.

Derek walked back into the office. "Meredith," he said quietly. She didn't say anything. Derek decided to give her a minute, but then he noticed she was bent over a box, something in her hand, and she wasn't moving. "Mer?" he asked.

He went to her side. In her hands was Evelyn's baby album. There was picture of him and Addison picnicking in the sun, his arms around her huge belly and his lips on her hair. There was a picture of them with Mark at the hospital where they were all interns, and both Derek and Mark had a hand on her bump. There was a picture of the day Evelyn was born. Addison was holding Evelyn with Derek by his side, while Richard looked on. They all looked much younger. Derek remembered Adele taking the picture.

"You have another kid you didn't tell me about, Derek?"

"That's Evelyn. She was born when Addison and I were interns. She was born at 25 weeks old and had a heart defect, and she only lived for nine hours."

"You could have told me," Meredith said softly.

Derek didn't say anything. Evelyn was a taboo topic. He and Addison never talked about her, and others followed their example.

At first the loss of Evelyn actually made Addison and Derek closer. They bonded through the terrible experience and depended on each other. They had one of the most happy, thriving marriages of anyone they knew for years. But then they had started to get more and more successful. Derek was ready to have more kids, but Addison never was. Derek threw himself into his work, trying to escape it all. The truth was, Evelyn was the beginning of the end.


Derek ~ Mt. Sinai ~ 14 years ago

He cried out so loudly in shock and pain and disbelief when he went in the next morning that all the teeny preemies started to wail piercingly. But it didn't matter because all Derek could see was the cloth covering Evelyn's body as they wheeled her out. She hadn't survived the night, despite all his hope and the best care in the world.

Later that morning, Derek walked into Addison's hospital room, broken, defeated, and furious at the world. But when she saw him, she smiled.

"Derek, did you go see Evelyn? She's beautiful, huh? She has your hair and your eyes. Isn't she amazing? I know they said she was pretty sick, but late last night she was doing better. How is she this morning?"

"She's . . . dead, Addison." He was forced to watch the utter devastation of the love of his life as she broke down, unable to even look at him because he reminded her of what she had lost.


Well, so the deep dark secret of DerekandAddison is out. I hope you liked the new chapter!