My Never
Chapter 9

This is kind of just a cute, fluffy chapter. Both Addison (in the past) and Derek (in the present) have mommy/daddy moments with Devony. And I know everyone wants to get to the Addek stuff, but I want to do this right and not jump right into it. So there will be a few more chapters of Derek/Devony bonding before anything else.


Derek ~ Seattle Grace ~ present

"Alright, Dev, ready to go home?" Derek knelt down and picked up his daughter.

"Back to the trailer?" she asked.

"Yes, why?" Derek asked curiously.

"I don't like the trailer," she whined.

Derek chuckled. "You so your mother's child. She didn't like the trailer either."

"Mommy was here?" Devony asked.

"Yeah, before you were born." Derek grinned, remembering that the trailer was where Devony had been conceived. "She always hated it, though. But I'll tell you what: If you come back to the trailer with me, I'll make you whatever you want for dinner. How does that sound?"

"Can we have pancakes, daddy?" Devony asked him excitedly, her big blue eyes widening in excitement.

"Um, sure, if that's what you want. I'll have to pick up some pancake mix from the store."

A few hours later Devony sat on the bed, watching a movie on the new DVD player Derek had bought while he worked out how to make the pancakes. He could hear the music of The Little Mermaid coming from the bedroom, and it wasn't doing much for his concentration.

He carefully stirred up the batter, water, and chocolate chips. Then he poured them into the pan. They were not gorgeous, as Derek hadn't mastered the perfect circle thing yet, but they were pancakes. Clumsily he flipped them, spread some butter, and scooped them onto two plates. He carried them into the bedroom and sat beside his daughter.

"Thanks, Daddy," she said, her eyes still trained on the movie. Derek tried to pay attention so he would know what to do when he would inevitably have to be the little mermaid. He felt like groaning as Ariel began to sing what felt like the hundredth song. Devony started to sing with her. She hadn't, apparently, inherited Derek or Addison's cringe-worthy singing voices, although Derek couldn't imagine who she'd gotten her bell-like voice from.

When Ariel sang her last note, Derek helped Devony clean the chocolate off her face, take a shower, and get into her pajamas. Then he sat on the bed, combing her long black hair, and was grateful, for the first time in his life, that he'd had four sisters.

"Daddy?" Devony asked as he parted her hair for French braids. "I miss mommy. Is she coming back soon?" Her sad little voice broke Derek's heart.

"I'm sorry, baby, it might be a while," he said quietly.

"Oh," she said softly. She wiped her eyes quickly, and Derek realized she was trying not to cry.

He picked her up and settled her on his chest. She buried her head in his scrubs, which he hadn't had time to change out of yet, and he carefully stroked her smooth black hair. "Dev, it's okay to miss your mom. You're a brave girl, but it's okay to cry."

"I want to go home," Devony said, looking up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It was all Derek could think of to say.


Derek ~ Seattle Grace ~ 2 years ago

"I don't understand."

"I'm not ready for that, Derek."

"I thought that we were together. I thought we were moving forward. I thought this was what you wanted," Derek said, frustrated.

"I'm just not ready," Meredith told him.

"When will you be ready, Meredith? Every time I try to move forward in this relationship, you get scared and run away. I used to think it was because of your past, but now I'm not so sure. I don't think we ever wanted the same things. Did we?"

"So, we're living together. I don't want to think about marriage or kids, Derek."

"You don't seem to care what I want, Meredith!" Derek yelled.

"All you do is push me, Derek!"

"And all you do is run away! What do you want from me? We're together when you want to have sex, but the next day, you ignore me. I'm working at this, and you're not. You don't want to work, you won't compromise. Addison compromised, she moved out here for our relationship, she gave up everything, and you can't even commit!"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ADDISON! You bring her up every time we have a problem! It's always Addison this or Addison that. If she's so fucking perfect, why don't you go back to her, Derek?"

"I want this to work, Meredith, I do! I just need you to try as much as I do!"

"You are forcing this to work, Derek. And you're trying to make our relationship into what you had with Addison. You're trying to turn me into her! I don't want to get married right now! I just want a stable relationship!"

"I've had stable relationships. I've done the roommates thing. I want more, because I'm running out of time!"


Addison ~ Target ~ 6 months ago

Addison walked through the bright red doors of Target, holding her daughter's hand tightly. She had never shopped at Target before she'd had Devony, but now she bought everything here, except clothes, of course. It was nice to have everything in one place.

Devony's bright eyes, so like her dad's, took in the store eagerly. Addison could only imagine the trouble her daughter could get into here. She sighed, grabbed a cart, and started off through the store.

"Do you want to ride?" she asked Devony after a minute.

"No, I want to help push!" Addison smiled and let Devony stand on the frame of the cart so she could reach the handle. She maneuvered through the crowded store to the snack isles, and stood in front of them, trying to decide what to buy.

"Mommy, daddy, look!" she heard a little boy say from an adjacent isle. "They have the new one! They have the new one!" Addison turned to see a little boy running up to his parents and handing them a toy. His cheeks were flushed and his light brown hair was in disarray from running so fast. He looked about Devony's age, maybe a little older.

The dad had his arms around the mother, and they both peered at the toy their son was holding out to them. The mom looked hesitant, but the dad gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and put the toy in their cart for their son. The little family walked off, looking unbearably happy from Addison's point of view. She knew that families like that weren't perfect, but it looked pretty damn good to her. She had somehow missed out on that. There was no Derek standing beside her, no Derek coming home at night to help with Devony's bath, no Derek to hold her when it all got to be too much.

She blinked her eyes rapidly and turned back to Devony, who had filled their cart with seven types of fish crackers. "Dev, let's just pick two, okay?"

Devony smiled and took the extra crackers back to their respective places. Addison lifted her daughter back onto their cart. Then she adjusted her new trench coat that went perfectly with her several inch heels. She was aware that she did not fit it at Target, but it didn't matter, because she wasn't sure where she fit anymore.

She and Devony continued to the shampoo isle. Devony walked down, taking each shampoo off the shelf and smelling it before putting it back.

In the next isle, Devony stood innocently off to the side and snuck various items into oblivious people's carts.

Addison groaned, massaged her temples, and ran over to grab Devony's hand just as she slipped a banana flavored condom pack into an eighty year old lady's cart.

"Devony," she said, raising an eyebrow. She sincerely hoped that Devony did not know what condoms were and her choice to put those particular items in the woman's shopping cart was random. Addison was pretty sure that it was, because condoms weren't the only things that had found their way into people's carts today.

"Sorry, mommy," Devony said. She looked appropriately contrite, as she only did when talking to her mother. Savvy, Carolyn, and Nancy were all unable to take Devony shopping, as the only person she would listen to was Addison.

"It's okay, sweetie, but please, try to behave yourself at least until we leave the store." Devony smiled innocently, a look Addison knew well, and she sighed again.

"Mamma, are those diapers?" Devony said loudly as they continued down the isle. Addison wished she could turn invisible.

"Yes, Dev, those are diapers. They're for adults, okay? Now, please, baby, lower your voice," Addison begged.

"Why would grown-ups need diapers?" Devony asked curiously. "Diapers are for babies."

"It's hard to explain, Dev, but let's just forget about it alright? I'll buy you an Icee when we leave."

"A red one?"

"Sure," Addison promised, relieved.

As they finished their shopping and got in line, they spotted the old woman from earlier. She was squawking about the banana condoms. "Oh my god," Addison moaned. Devony was watching, delighted. Addison glanced back at the scene, and she couldn't help laughing. Devony started laughing too, and they both dissolved into complete hysterics while the other people in line stared.

I wouldn't trade anything for this, Addison thought. I don't have Derek, and I never will, but at least I have this.


I thought it would be good to show what Addison and Devony's relationship was like before she disappeared. And also the problems that Derek and Meredith had once Addison was gone. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :D