Almost 8,000 words. Longest chapter I've ever written at once for this story. It's taken me a while to do this, but it was largely cause I didn't want to. I'll be honest with you guys, live is kinda rough for me right now. I can't really find the motivation to do anything. I finished this chapter late at night, and that was largely because I didn't have anything else to do.
Okay, I had other things to do, but I can't find the motivation to do it.
Anyway, here's the chapter. Please tell me how you think it is. The dialogue I'm having with you guys is the only thing keeping me writing.
Also, someone commented that it didn't make sense that Kabuto's head reattached in the last chapter. That his healing abilities don't extend that far. For that, you are correct. However, it wasn't his healing abilities that allowed him to do that. It was the gods fixing the timeline in real time. Sorry if that wasn't clear. The same things that put out fires and allow the characters to do whatever they want is the same thing that reattached Kabuto's head.
Anyway, enjoy. I'm going to find something to eat. I haven't eaten since yesterday. One day I'll be able to live my dream and write for money. Then I won't have that problem.
Blue, black, white and red eyes stared down on the still, unmoving body of the Leaf Kunoichi. Her eyes were blank, vacant and lifeless as they stared off into the horizon. Gone was the vibrancy and exuberance that Tenten once held, replaced now only by the cold, unfeeling stillness of death.
Sasuke made it about three more seconds before he turned and walked away.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Neji asked. His face was twisted into a snarl. The Uchiha stared back at his time traveling companion, none worse for the wear despite the hostile nature of his companion.
"Why, away from here, of course." Sasuke spoke, his voice laden with apparent superiority. "I would have thought that obvious."
Neji rose, obviously miffed at the Uchiha's words. He was soon stopped, however, as Naruto laid a hand on his shoulder. With a stern shaking of his head, Naruto waved his Hyuuga friend off. Grudgingly, Neji let Sasuke go.
"You're a prick," the Hyuuga called out, still staring at Sasuke. Said boy just smiled, before shimmering away. As soon as he was definitively gone, Neji jerked his arm away from Naruto. Glaring at the future Hokage, Neji moved back to the body of his teammate, resting her unmoving head on his lap once more. "Why did you protect him?"
Naruto chuckled. "Protect him? He's way stronger than you, you know. I was protecting you from him."
"You should have let me slug him. At least once. He was being a dick."
"At this point, I'm pretty sure that an Uchiha's default state of being is being a dick." Naruto took Tenten's hand into his own. It was still slightly warm, proving nothing if not but the recentness of her death. "But this time, at least, he's being productive with his dick qualities."
"What do you mean?" Naruto inclined his head, gesturing to behind the boy. Neji turned, looking over to the forested area outside the clearing they were in. The grunts and explosions that signaled the two Green Beasts of Konoha's combat was ringing out from the direction. It was constant, so Neji had started to drown it out. Soon, however, an explosion louder than the previous ones rang out, and a gust of warm, dry air blew the leaves off the trees.
"What was that?" Neji asked. Naruto shook his head.
"That was Sasuke. He went off to distract the Bushy Brows."
"And the… whatever that was?"
"He likes to distract people with explosions. Lots of fire and sharp things everywhere. That should keep the Bushy Brows on their toes and away from here for a bit."
"Why would you need them away from here?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Kyuubi asked. "We don't want them seeing… this." He gestured wildly down at the dead body before them. Tenten's wide, brown eyes stared at the sky, empty and faded.
"Why not?" Neji asked. "The worst that would happen would be…" The boy trailed off. He went silent for a few seconds, eyes darting around wildly as he contemplated things. Then, without warning, the Hyuuga boy darted to his feet, turning and sprinting towards the ever increasing explosions. He made one bound, then two, before a small orange blur bowled him over. Neji tumbled on the ground a fair way before finally stopping.
"What's your problem?" he screamed at the young Hokage who shoulder checked him. Naruto shook his head.
"My problem? What's yours?"
"What do you…" Neji trailed off. "I'm going to get Gai-sensei and Lee! If they see what has happened here, they'll notice something's off and time will reset!"
Naruto's stare was hard. His eyes were focused as they bore into the Hyuuga's. So intense was his gaze that Neji had to look away. "How do you know?"
Neji turned back around. "What do you mean?"
"How do you know that it will reset time?"
"Isn't that what always happens?" Neji's voice was unsure. Naruto seemed to be going somewhere with his thoughts.
"Yes, but obviously the gods aren't being consistent with their time altering whims. Some changes to the past are being allowed, while others aren't. You said as much yourself."
Neji was silent, intent on seeing where the Hokage was going with this.
"If the gods let Tenten die, what makes you think that showing the Bushy Brows is going to change that? They obviously don't care to revive her. They don't care about the repercussions."
"We have to at least try!"
"And then they come here, shocked and angry." Naruto's eyes were full of fire, challenging the young Hyuuga to oppose him. "Then what? What's your brilliant plan, Neji?"
Neji was silent. He glared at the orange Genin in front of him, all too aware of the sudden change in demeanor despite his flared emotions. The boy was calm, but his stance was firm. He was sure of himself in a way that made him seem dependable, and Neji was forced to almost cow before him.
It wasn't always obvious, with the childlike body and immature personality, but Neji was now aware that he was in the presence of a future Hokage.
"Well?" Naruto asked again. "What then?"
"I don't have a plan," Neji mumbled. Naruto raised a golden eyebrow.
"What was that?"
"I said I don't have a plan!" Neji shouted. His fists were clenched at his sides, holding in his anger that he knew was now mostly misplaced. "I don't know what to do right now, okay? Is that what you want me to say? Is this what you want to hear?"
Naruto stared at his time traveling counterpart, eyes hard and stern, for a few more seconds, before clasping the Hyuuga on the shoulder. The action shocked the man out of most of his temper, even for a few seconds. With the following smile, calm and gentle unlike most of his smiles, Naruto effectively disarmed the seventeen year old.
"Yes," Naruto said. His voice was soft, a vast contrast to what it was before. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. There's nothing wrong with not knowing what to do. The sooner you admit that, the sooner you can start working on a solution."
"Wait, what?" Neji asked. He was effectively confused.
"There were many times when I was clueless about what to do. Being Hokage was… a difficult start for me."
"It was?" Neji asked. He was meaning to ask some questions about the future, but life was hectic right now for his time traveling companions.
"Oh, totally," Naruto said. He sat on the grass, before gesturing Neji to take a place next to him. The Hyuuga was hesitant, but he took a seat on the surprisingly soft grass in the training ground. "Did you know I didn't even attend my inauguration?"
"What? Why?" Neji was confused, but also amused. His voice rose in octaves only someone used to talking to a Hyuuga could hear.
Naruto chuckled. "Promise you won't laugh?"
"I make no promises when you're involved. Probability and sense don't survive very long when exposed to you."
Naruto laughed at that. It was a curious thing, booming while soft, like velvet. "I suppose I deserve that. Makes sense too. On the day that I was supposed to be sworn in as Hokage, I, the strongest ninja in the Leaf Village, was taken out by my four year old daughter."
Neji, to his credit, managed to not laugh. Instead, he simply gaped. Truthfully it was a more fitting reaction.
"You were what?" Neji asked after he managed to get over his surprise.
"Yup. Hinata found me knocked out after I was crowned. Konohamaru transformed into me and took my place in the ceremony."
"But… how? I've seen you get punched through a building!"
Naruto chuckled. "You don't know your niece then."
"What… what did she do?" Neji asked. He was a little afraid to ask. His supposed niece had managed to take out a man who could casually slice mountains in two and supply power to an entire army.
An entire army that was, in fact, composed of entire armies.
Neji's sanity shivered at the thought of his beloved niece inheriting any of Naruto's qualities. It downright whimpered at the thought of her inheriting his unpredictability.
"She inherited the Byakugan," Naruto said, an act so simple it was almost nonchalant. "She used the Gentle Fist on me."
"You can force open your chakra points!" Neji screamed. "How did she manage to—"
"My dick, Neji. She used the Gentle Fist on my dick."
The clearing was silent, save for the machinations of the Kyuubi, who was still looking over Tenten with a stern eye. Though he was looking at the girl, his gaze seemed much farther off, as if he were looking at something completely different than what was in front of him.
"Why did…"
"She was aiming for Bolt."
"Why was she aiming for Bolt?"
"Don't know," Naruto said. "Don't care."
"Why did you teach her the Gentle Fist at four years old?" Neji asked. "Was she a genius or…"
"No."
"She wasn't a genius?" Neji asked, honestly curious.
"No, we didn't teach her the Gentle Fist."
The clearing was once again silent.
"What?"
"We didn't teach her the Gentle Fist."
"Then how did she use it on you?"
"Listen Neji, we don't know." Naruto growled, though there was no real anger behind it. "She just did. When we asked her about it the next week, she refused to answer us. All we know is that whatever happened to her on that day was enough to traumatize Bolt and—"
"Wait," Neji said, holding a hand up. "Why did you wait a week to ask her?"
"Because that was how long it took for me to get out of my coma."
"She put you in a coma?" Neji screamed, incredulous. "How?"
"I thought I established that I didn't know? It was better than what she did to Bolt. He was in therapy for months after she was through with him."
"What the hell did she do to Bolt?"
"Neji!" Naruto growled. "We. Don't. Know. How many times do I have to say this?"
"How do you not know what's happening to your own daughter?"
"None of us know what's up with Himawari! We just let her do her thing, and she doesn't murder us."
"What?" Neji screamed. Naruto fought the urge to cover his ears.
"I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than necessary."
"No, I think I'm making the exact right amount of deal!" Neji was starting to turn a little red. "Why is my niece a murderer?"
"She's not!" Naruto said, trying to placate his time traveling partner. "She hasn't murdered anyone… yet."
"What do you mean, 'yet'?"
"I don't know what Anko has her doing down in the Interrogation Department, but she assures me that Himawari has yet to take a life. By the way, did we tell you about Anko? She has changed so much and—"
"Wh-why…" Neji started. It was obvious that he was starting to break down by now. "Why is Himawari in…"
"Have you ever seen Hinata angry? Like, pissed off?"
"Yeah?"
"She got that and Kurama's bloodlust."
"Oh," Neji responded. He was back to normal. "I understand now." The clearing was silent once more.
"You do realize she's going to kill all of you when you she becomes a ninja right?"
"Oh, totally," Naruto responded, without a care in the world. "That's why we're making her a ramen chef."
"Is she allowing that?"
"Neji, I don't think Himawari cares about anything as long as she's happy. That's why we buy her a sunflower every day and let her cook whatever she wants for dinner." Naruto rubbed his nose as he considered his next words. "Though, to be fair, the estimated death toll for even that profession is higher than we're comfortable with."
Neji stared at his companion, completely at a loss for words.
"Are you… joking?" he finally asked. Naruto continued to stare at the sky. After a few moments, he turned to Neji and smiled a megawatt smile.
"Of course I am," the blonde Hokage said. Neji gaped once more.
"What? You were joking this whole time? About all of that?"
"Yeah!" Naruto said, his voice enthusiastic. "Mostly."
"That's great! I was… wait, mostly?"
"The point is, I distracted you from what you were concerned about."
"Wait, back up. What do you mean by 'mostly'?"
"Are you done yet, Kurama?" Naruto asked his foxy counterpart, completely ignoring Neji. Kurama snorted.
"I was done, like, five minutes ago."
"Wait, done with what?"
"How's it looking?" Naruto was ignoring Neji. Kyuubi appeared to be doing the same.
"Grandpa is coming in a bit."
"The sage? Why is the sage coming?"
"Will he be able to do anything?" Naruto's voice was just the tiny bit hopeful. The Kyuubi shrugged.
"I don't know. He didn't say anything other than that he was on his way."
"And on my way I was. What do you want, children?" The Sage, Hagoromo, asked. His tone was curt, his words listing a bit as they left his mouth. Bags hung heavily under his eyes, made all the more prominent by his chalk white skin.
"Gramps! What's going on here?" Naruto yelled. He held up Tenten's hand to indicate her lifeless form. "Why are we still here if Tenten is dead?"
Hagoromo looked at the blonde with an upturned eyebrow. "I didn't realize the life of that young girl dictated what you did. Should I call her Lord Tenten now? Clearly she has more value to you than… well everything else you've encountered since we sent her back here."
The vein slowly growing on Naruto's temple was as much an indicator to his rising ire as his eerie silence, so Kurama took over the explanation. "What the idiot meant to ask was, why are we still here, and time not reset, if a pivotal person that hadn't died before is dead now? I loathe these creatures as much as the next guy, but even I know this human child was alive."
"Oh?" Hagoromo asked, his voice rising an octave. "Now you guys care about what happens to the timeline? When it suits you?"
"Cut the crap, Grandpa." Naruto's voice was close to a growl. "Just tell us why Tenten isn't coming back."
"The same reason why Mizuki isn't coming back. She wasn't needed."
"What do you mean? She's my friend! Of course she's needed!" Naruto was now on his feet, having flew to the position rather fast in Neji's opinion.
"And you believe that to be a good enough reason? Mizuki was your teacher. I don't see you in a huff about him."
"Mizuki was a bastard and a traitor! He deserved to die."
"Oh? And now the Great Naruto Uzumaki gets to decide who may live and who may die. Perhaps it is you who I should be calling Lord now."
"What's your problem?" Naruto screamed, and it took everything Neji had to hold the boy back. Even then, the Hyuuga was sure that Naruto was letting himself be restrained.
"You are," the Sage said. He leveled a stare, nonchalant and passive, at the blonde Hokage, completely uncaring of the boy's ire. "You and your friends have been running around deliberately changing things for a while now. Do you have any idea the amount of work it takes to reset an entire universe? Energies and complex techniques you couldn't even begin to imagine need to be utilized, and I'm the one that's forced to do them. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make someone wish for more hours in a day, when that person lives in a timeless wonder zone?"
"I'll bet it's pretty damn hard," Neji said. Hagoromo nodded.
"Right, indeed. It's pretty damn hard. So the gods and I decided to come up with a pretty nifty solution. Remember when they said that they were actively going to fuck with you?"
Naruto, Neji and the fox nodded, though slowly.
"Well, we're going to implement that strategy now. We're only going to fix things that absolutely need to be fixed. For every one of your fuck ups that could reliably be ignored, we're going to let them be. Regardless of whether or not it affects you."
"But Tenten is important, damn it! She did a lot in the coming years!"
"Oh?" Hagoromo asked. "Like what?"
"She…" Naruto trailed off, mouth hanging open as he contemplated his next words.
"Naruto?" Neji asked. He was concerned about his friend. "Are you alright? Tell the Sage about Tenten's accomplishments."
"Give me a moment." Naruto's face was screwed up. He stared at the ground hard, as if it would give him the answers he sought.
"Naruto?" Neji asked again. "You can answer him… right?"
Naruto's answer was silence. He stood there, fingers cupping his chin as he contemplated something to contribute to Tenten's case. Seconds, then minutes ticked by as Naruto tried, and failed, to produce something substantial.
"Naruto?" Neji asked. His voice was pathetic, almost begging.
"I can't… I can't think of anything."
Neji was silent.
"Why not?"
"You think of something!" Naruto screamed in his defense. Neji huffed.
"Fine. She's necessary because…"
The Hyuuga boy silenced. His eyes roamed as he searched his mind for a suitable answer. Seconds, then minutes ticked by as both Hokage and Sage awaited the Hyuuga's answer. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, the Hyuuga boy spoke.
"She's really good with weapons."
"And I'm done here," Hagoromo stated, before turning. A hole in reality ripped open in front of him. Just as he was about to float through, Naruto called out to him.
"Wait! Gramps, don't you think you're being a little unfair?"
"As unfair as an entire group of people purposefully making my life hard, or as unfair as that same group of people shifting the blame of those very same actions that makes my life hard onto me? Either one works. Both have been pissing me off."
Naruto blanched, his face going as white as sheet. "I didn't know you were being blamed for our actions."
"Ah, yes," Hagoromo stroked his beard. "I believe the gods summed up my involvement in your chicanery as, 'your species, your problem.'"
"Wait," Neji said, too shocked by recent revelations to remember his grief. "By that logic, aren't we their creations? Aren't we inherently their problem as well?"
Hagoromo sighed. It was a deep one, laden with the woes of a man burdened with an impossible load. "Technically, yes. Bringing that point up to them in conversation, however, doesn't have as obvious an outcome." The Sage then rubbed his temples. "The repercussions for that were monumental. Never oppose the gods, children."
Neji pointedly looked at Naruto and Kurama, then behind himself at the explosions that rang throughout the training field they were in. Somehow, the Sage's statement seemed directed at certain people more than others.
"Regardless, I'm not inclined to care about your problems, nor how fair our decision is regarding your problems. Simply put, I'm too stressed, Naruto. Our decision is final, and you have to live with it."
"I wouldn't have to live with it if you let me go back to my own time." Naruto pouted like a petulant child, which, technically, he was at the moment.
"That is also a decision you have to live with." The Sage seemed to drag far too much enjoyment from that statement. He didn't outwardly show it, but his staff waved through the air in a way reminiscent to an excited puppy's tail.
"He has a point, Naruto," Kurama growled. A mischievous smirk adorned his face, showing far too much teeth and more than enough foxlike canines.
Naruto caught onto his companion's tone immediately. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's far better if we just stay here."
"What are you two doing?" Hagoromo asked. He didn't like where this was going.
"We're just doing what you wanted, Gramps. We're staying here. Living here. And doing what comes naturally to us when we live. May I take my leave, Naruto?"
"You may," Naruto nodded. Before his head even fully rose again, Kyuubi was gone, vanishing in a miasma of fire and sulfur that scorched the grass where he stood.
"Where did he go?"
"Oh, you know," Naruto answered. As he finished another explosion, this time much bigger than the Uchiha's, sounded from somewhere within the village. Screams of terror could be heard as the Village Hidden in the Leaves cried out as one. "Places."
"Naruto, this isn't funny. Where is he— WHY IS HE THERE?"
Indeed, Kurama was currently rampaging through the Hidden Leaf Village in his full, nine tailed glory. Houses were stomped underfoot with every step he took, and fires erupted from his mere presence.
"What is he doing?" Hagoromo cried. Kurama was doing too much. There is no way he could simply wipe the memories of the entire village. The Kyuubi Incident was too much of an impact on their lives.
"It appears he is trashing the village." Naruto eyed a house as it flew over their heads, casting a shadow over them all. It landed slightly behind them, causing a thunderous, deafening boom. "Yes, I'm almost certain that is what he is up to."
"Why?"
"Boys will be boys. Foxes will be foxes."
"I doubt any other foxes act like this," Neji said. He was a little shaken up by the casual way the Jinchuuriki pair discarded so many lives, but he saw their plan. It was a gamble, but there was no way for him to exactly stop their gamble either, so he went along with it.
"I suppose," Naruto mused, his hand cupping his chin again. "But I can't think of any other reason why foxes went extinct."
"Foxes aren't extinct," Neji said. "They still exist."
"Oh really?" Naruto's tone was challenging, but still playful. Altogether, it was an out of place tone considering the wreckage and flames that constantly flew their way.
Seeing as they were several miles away from the village, this was more impressive than not.
"Really," Neji responded. He was grasping on to the conversation with everything he had. If he wavered, even a little, he feared he might drown in the ridiculousness of the situation. "There are tons of them out there. No reported extinctions."
"Then when was the last time you've seen a fox?"
Neji turned. His gaze fell on the several hundred foot tall monster that was currently destroying everything they loved.
"Besides him?"
"I haven't met any other foxes besides him."
"Me either. Face it, Neji, they don't exist anymore."
Neji looked like he wanted to argue, but he decided against it. The Sage was looking pretty annoyed by now, and somewhere deep down inside himself, Neji was sure this was Naruto's intention.
"Is this supposed to be proving anything?" Hagoromo said through clenched teeth. It seemed he really hated to be ignored. "Because no matter how much Kurama destroys, nothing will bring Tenten back. She wasn't necessary to your futures, so she won't be revived. We'll just reset until just after your friend murdered her."
Neji jaw tightened, and he felt the respect he had for the Sage wane, just a little. He was willing to let an innocent girl die just to prove a point to Naruto? That was an incredibly petty and childish thing to do, though he supposed that to a god, a single human life didn't mean as much as it did to them. No, the insult to everything was that Naruto was a blockhead. If he didn't want something done, then it wouldn't happen, or if it did, Naruto would simply not believe it happened out of pure spite.
Tenten's death would be for nothing.
Neji stepped forward, ready to throttle the man he revered not seconds ago when Naruto put a restraining hand on his shoulder. The Hyuuga stopped, but only for the knowledge that Naruto was truly stronger than him. The Uzumaki looked him in the eye, before smiling. So much genuine emotion was reflected in the action that even Neji was affected.
Reluctantly, he stood down.
"Yeah, gramps. You can do that," Naruto chirped. His grin was downright malicious now. Though he wouldn't show it, the Sage started to feel a bit of fear. "And it would probably hammer home the fact that Tenten wasn't coming back."
"Where are you going with this?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing." Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "It's just… I was wondering… how many 'useless lives' are you willing to give up before you have to start reviving people?"
Hagoromo's stare went from slightly fearful to shocked, then settled on enraged. "You wouldn't."
"I wouldn't?" Naruto parroted, before whistling. The tune was high pitched and shrill, and Neji almost had to cover his ears to block it out. Not a single second after he was done, however, did Sasuke land in the clearing, left hand tucked away in his pocket and right hand in a fist touching the ground. Bended knee and head bowed, Sasuke responded to his call.
"Yes, Lord Hokage?"
"Cut the shit, Sasuke," Naruto growled, the first signs of real irritation in his voice. "Apparently, gramps and his bosses don't believe us when we say that we can change landscapes. Remember what we planned to do when we first got here?"
Sasuke smiled. It was a vicious thing, promising only dark and painful things. "Destroy everything and anything we can until the very gods themselves give up."
"Yup. But, of course, I would never allow you to do that, Sasuke. I'm the responsible Hokage, who must keep all of his ninja in check."
"Oh no!" Sasuke cried, his hand over his heart in shock. "Whatever will I do?"
"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, a chuckle seeping in somewhere. "That's why you're banished. War crimes. You allowed Sakura's pink hair genes to continue in another generation. Inside Sarada sleeps the genes of a fashion disaster. Ino said it herself. I'm sorry, but you're no longer a Konoha ninja."
"You can't do this!" Sasuke cried in mock horror.
"I can," Naruto responded, his face stern, though it was a quickly fading façade. "I'm Hokage. I can do what I want. Begone, Sasuke Uchiha. I don't want to see you until you're a Konoha ninja again." Naruto then tapped his chin, "although the only way that could happen is if someone somehow turned back time until before I banished you. Oh well. Give me your headband."
Sasuke, in response, tore the headband off his head and tossed it to his blonde counterpart. Naruto caught it, before staring at it. It was just a standard issue, but it was one that would survive Sasuke his entire ninja career. Seeing the metal once again pristine and without a scratch, and the cloth perfectly blue and not in tatters, was almost surreal.
"I can't believe this," Sasuke droned. The acting and pretending to show emotion had already run it's course for the Uchiha. "I'm so angry, I'm going to go on a rampage and kill everything I see."
"Well, if that's the case, then you can start that way," Naruto pointed in a general direction that led to the Land of Lightning. "Konoha is already being torn down by the fox."
"Good idea, captain! I mean— not captain!" Sasuke mock saluted Naruto, before turning in the direction Naruto indicated for him and dashing away.
"Hey, while you're at it, take out the Bushy Brows! They're gonna be a problem!" Naruto didn't get an answer, but the telltale sound of a thousand birds struggling to be released was a good indicator of the boy's response. Satisfied, Naruto turned to Hagoromo, his smug grin answered by a furious scowl on the Sage's face.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the Sage asked. He was close to bursting, Naruto could feel it.
"I like to think of it as, 'making an investment'."
"You've sent two of the strongest creatures this world has ever known on genocidal quests! Two cities, wiped off the face of the planet just… for what? What are you trying to accomplish with this?"
Naruto yawned, stretching his arms behind his head. "Why, we're trying to prove a point to you, here, Gramps."
"And what point is that?" The Sage had his hands clenched until they were white around his staff. Naruto's earlier mirth disappeared as well. With a face chiseled from stone and a voice tempered in war the young Hokage stepped forward until he was just inches away from his ancestor. His head crested just above the Sage's folded legs as said man floated in midair.
"We're not playing by your rules, old man." Naruto's voice was hard, and cold. For the first time since they returned to the past, Neji was able to see the real scope of the man in front of him. This wasn't Naruto, the hyperactive prankster child. This was Naruto, war hero and leader of a militaristic nation of murderers and assassins. An iron will and loads of power was needed to keep such a thing in line, and Naruto had both in spades.
"We played along with your terms until now, mostly out of respect for you." Neji resisted the urge to snort as Naruto said those words while never breaking eye contact with the Sage. That either boy, Naruto or Sasuke, could regard their complete and total dismissal of the Six Paths Sage and the gods that governed even him as "respectful" was laughable. "But we did so out of benevolence, not obedience. If you want us to stay here; to play nice with all the machinations that you have planned out for us, you're going to have to make some concessions for us too. Understand?"
Hagoromo, to his credit, didn't even flinch under the blonde Hokage's ire. "And what exactly makes you think that you're in the proper position to dictate these terms? So what? You can destroy and kill and take as many lives as you want, but that means nothing in the end. It's a headache for me, but I can just reset the world, restoring their lives, over and over again." Hagoromo then stroked his beard, a condescending smile adorning his face. "You have lived one life, boy. I have lived many, and I will live many more. I have been immortal far longer than you have. You will tire of your games long before I do."
"Hmm, perhaps," Naruto mused. "But you're overlooking something. Something wholly crucial."
"And what is that?" Hagoromo asked. He leaned down from his spot in midair to come face to face, ringed eyes to blue, with Naruto. They held this stare for what seemed to be a tense eternity, until suddenly Naruto smiled.
"Well, you're forgetting three things, actually." Naruto then held up three fingers, his index, middle and thumb. Then, he put down his thumb. "One, that I am Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, the world's most unpredictable ninja!"
Almost theatrically, Kyuubi destroyed the Hokage Mountain at the end of that declaration, adding a cinematic flair to it.
Naruto then put down his index finger. "Two, that I have a forbidden technique that I was being really good about not using. It seems that you nor the gods can counteract its effects."
From behind the group, in the opposite direction of the village, distinctly Uchiha like explosions rocked the very world. It wasn't visible, but the Village Hidden in the Clouds was being wiped from the map.
Finally, Naruto was on his third point, but he didn't put down his sole remaining finger, essentially flipping the Sage off. "And three, no one ever. Ever. Fucks with me."
And like that Hagoromo had finally had enough. Twirling his staff, the Sage abused his gifted power over reality and froze time, this time including all of the time travelers in its power. Looking at the world through his powerful, ringed eyes, the man scowled at the gray expanse he was now looking at.
"Insufferable brat. To think himself so highly as to speak like that to me. Perhaps he really does take after my sons." The Sage then looked around. Kurama had done an amazing job in the work that he had done. With another twirl of his staff, the Sage was directly above the Hidden Leaf. Able to fully survey the damage, he sighed, releasing all of his pent of rage.
"This is going to take me forever to fix." And that wasn't even the beginning of it. He couldn't see it, but he could feel the inconsistencies that Sasuke had wreaked by destroying the Hidden Cloud Village, and though he had much less time, the Uchiha had done just as much damage. The very thought of it increased the headache he was feeling twofold, and the Sage wished desperately for a break, or a vacation. Neither of those things were likely to be coming his way for quite some time, as the gods were slave drivers. Either way, he would have some sort of break, so he used what limited freedom he had to get something he hadn't gotten in forever:
A good conversation.
"Wake up, Kurama. I'm bored. Talk to me."
Said fox yawned, a loud, earthshaking thing that it was, and casually ate the handful of ninjas he had in his hand as rich, fiery orange color returned to his fur and scarlet anger returned to his eyes. He was teeming with untold rage, but such an existence was his default state. His focus then centered on his much smaller grandpa floating above him, and the demon fox sneered.
"Judging by the looks of things, you finally got sick of the brats and decided to just freeze everything." Hagoromo smirked. The Kyuubi always did have a knack for somehow figuring things out.
"Accurate, as usual. Your intelligence has always been fascinating."
The Kyuubi cackled in response. "Yes. You know what they say about foxes. We are the most cunning of creatures."
"Quite," Hagoromo said. A small smile graced his lips. "It makes me wonder why you choose to act like such a simpleton when around those… mortals."
"They're not all bad. If you reduce yourselves to their level, they're actually quite fun." Kyuubi sat on its haunches. It scrutinized its paws for a bit, before finding them wanting. Grimacing, it set to cleaning them by licking, but soon lost interest in that as well. "Besides, once you hang around Naruto enough, you'll find that you can't help but stoop to his level. It's practically mandatory."
Hagoromo snorted, an act that seemed to dismiss the claim. "I don't see the hype about him. He's an outstanding individual, but that so many of you regard him with almost deific reverence is baffling."
"Oh, I don't revere him," Kyuubi said, shaking his head vehemently. Hagoromo eyed the Kyuubi warily for a second, before smiling.
"Then what do you call your acquiescence to his leadership and whims?"
"Survival instincts."
"What?"
"I call it a need to survive. I've been in direct contact with Naruto for a lot longer than you have, Gramps, so I know a thing or two. I've seen this boy survive things he shouldn't, in ways that couldn't, in any probability, be possible. He's a complete monster, but not in the way you think."
"Then in what way?"
"His luck, Gramps. He's lucky in ways that no one can ever predict. You may think it's nothing big. You and the gods looked over his life from outside, all at once. Like some sort of anime. We've lived his life. It's a lot worse from our point of view. So trust me when I say this, whatever you think it is that you've done to win, you haven't. Something, somewhere, is coming to turn this conflict around. And it will definitely be in his favor."
"Bullshit," Hagoromo cursed. He had listened quietly to his surrogate son's claims, but had enough of the ridiculousness. "He's frozen in time. He literally cannot do a thing to change anything until I say that he can. He's lost, this time for sure."
"Okay Gramps. If you say so," the Kyuubi looked wholly unconvinced, and the Sage picked up on it.
"Why are you so loyal to his cause?" Hagoromo legitimately couldn't wrap his head around it.
"It's not that I'm loyal, it's that statistically, I cannot afford to go against him. Isn't that why you guys brought him back in time? To make him experience his life without his luck?" When Hagoromo confirmed this, Kyuubi continued. "And that plan has failed horribly. Luck is the one technique that will never abandon him. Even against you. Even against your gods."
"Then where is it now?" Hagoromo asked bitterly. His arms were folded, and he turned his back on his giant, foxy child. In the distance, his powerful eyes could see the Uzumaki still frozen where he was, defiant eyes glaring up at where the Sage was floating before time was frozen. "His luck has failed him. He is powerless before me. And to think, he went through that whole tirade of 'three things I should remember.'"
"Oh, he told you those?" Kyuubi asked. His ears pointed straight up in the air as his tails swished erratically behind him.
"Yes?" Hagoromo answered.
"Then you're fucked. Just wait for it. Something ridiculously stupid is about to happen to bail him out of this situation."
"Wha—"
"Do you know what that speech is?" Kyuubi asked, a grin, small and cautious, appeared on his face. "It's a combination technique. It fuses his 'Talk no Jutsu' with his propensity for luck. It has a higher than one hundred percent success rate. Just watch. Something stupid is coming."
"Impossible," Hagoromo dismissed the claim immediately. "I control this world. There is nothing that can move here without my permission. Not even you could, Kurama."
"Wait for it."
"Wait for what?"
"It."
"What is 'it'?"
"I don't know yet. But it's coming."
"Nothing is coming! I only let you move!"
"It doesn't care."
"And I'm done with talking to you," Hagoromo growled. He didn't know why he thought that reviving the Kyuubi was a good idea. Twirling his staff, the Sage prepared to freeze the Kyuubi again when he heard something, a noise of some kind, echoing it's way through the silent void of the time frozen world.
"What… what is that sound?" he asked, more to himself than anything.
"It," Kyuubi said, earning him a shush from his grandfather.
"Enough of that. Quiet!" Hagoromo then focused. The sound was constant, an undulating, almost satisfying thing. It was faint, but every second that passed allowed it to grow steadily louder, until it was fairly obvious what it was.
"Is that… tearing?" Hagoromo asked. Kyuubi snickered.
"Prepare yourself."
XxX
It was here. Back again. Something or someone had once more sapped the color from the world, bathing it in blacks and whites and grays. Around it, the wind stopped blowing, the sun stopped warming it's being, and the people who would either marvel or cower from it were now frozen in infuriating indifference.
For a being of constant, changing, beautiful colors and hues, such a thing was an immense affront to its existence. Whatever it was that had done this atrocity was not given permission to do so. It would rue the day that it had offended a being of this magnitude.
Whoever it was that stopped time would rue the day it wronged the Kunai.
XxX
"What… the hell… is THAT?" Hagoromo screamed in unashamed awe.
"How the hell is that thing still flying around?" Kyuubi asked in response. That rainbow kunai was an ever-present thing now, and it had proven to retain its throwers knack for defying the expected.
"You know what that is?" the Sage asked, his eyes wide.
"I don't think anyone truly knows what that is. What I do know is that Naruto threw that kunai after infusing it with the power of all nine bijuu when we first got here. I don't know why it's still flying around."
"Oh? You don't know why it's flying around?"
"Nope," Kyuubi responded, carefree.
"Oh," Hagoromo said. "Do you know why IT'S SOMEHOW TEARING THE TIME STOP APART?"
Sure enough, the rainbow hued kunai was flying through frozen air, tearing it apart with the sound of ripping fabric. It bled rainbow gas off its blade as it flew, and behind it the time stop gray was torn apart to reveal a renewed world, functioning normally and in color once more.
"I guess that's it, then." Kyuubi muttered.
"Well, whatever it is, I'm putting a stop to it!" Hagoromo then disappeared, teleporting directly in front of the blade. "Under my powers given to me by the gods, I command you to sto—"
The Sage was roughly tossed to the side, as if he were a piece of crumbled up paper. The kunai continued on, as if completely undeterred by the man of almost deific ability that was so rudely dismissed. With eyes it definitely did not have, the kunai saw the frozen form of Naruto glaring up at seeming nothing. On a whim, it decided that it's progenitor didn't deserve such a fate. In an explosion of power it made a beeline for the boy, stopping just short of him.
Then it rested itself in his hand, left conveniently open though he was still flipping off the Sage. Kurama, though laughing shortly before at the Sage's bad luck, immediately fell silent at the spectacle.
"I have never been more afraid."
Now in possession of the kunai that apparently existed outside of time, Naruto apparently gained it's capabilities. Slightly confused, he looked around himself to see that not only was the Sage not in front of him anymore, as he should have been, but that the entire world save for a straight line that led to himself was frozen in gray.
"So, the Sage had finally gotten tired of me and froze everything," Naruto mused. He then looked at the kunai, still glowing with an untold amount of energy in his hand, and smiled. "Enough of that then."
Then Naruto stabbed the ground with the kunai, releasing all of the pent of energy in it.
Then the world exploded.
XxX
One.
Then two.
Then three.
Then four.
Four seconds was all it took to notice that impossible forces had collided with each other and torn the reality of the world they had created apart. Displeased, the gods attempted to notify Hagoromo, their Sage, of the event so he could fix it. Then they realized that the last vestiges of the man was in fact in that shattered world. Even more displeased, they exerted their will and put the world back together.
Though, in reality, it took them far more effort than they cared to admit.
XxX
"What… did you do?" Hagoromo asked. All he could remember was an explosion of truly overwhelming rainbow hued power before everything was pain. He suffered from it for what seemed like an eternity, before finally everything went black for him. He was an immortal, but even he could see what death was like, and honestly, he was quite content.
Then he was here, staring at the boy he was quickly coming to hate once more.
"I'm… not sure," Naruto stated. The kunai was still in his hand, but the rainbow hues bleeding off of it and the overwhelming power therein was now absent. "I kinda just went with the flow." Naruto then looked around. Color effused the world as it sprung forward in its most natural of states. "But whatever it was, it seems to have worked. Time is going again."
Ignoring the fact that this insane boy had done something that had potentially killed an immortal on what seemed to be a whim, the Sage glared at Naruto, before righting himself in the air once more. "Don't get too attached to it. Once I find my staff, I'm freezing it once more. Whatever you did with that odd blade you have there was apparently a one time thing."
Naruto chuckled, "Oh? Have fun with that. Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Literally thousands of Narutos popped into existence. "While you're doing that, I'm going to be doing something too."
"And what's that?"
"I'm using Talk no Jutsu on literally everyone I meet. If you had trouble turning back time with just Sasuke under its influence, wait until you have to do it with everyone in the Elemental Nations!"
Hagoromo then stared at the boy.
XxX
Neji stared at Naruto. "What did you do?"
"I'm getting that question a lot nowadays," Naruto responded. He sat with Neji in the middle of Team Gai's training ground as Tenten used the Green Beasts of Konoha as practice dummies. She never once hit them, but then again it was hard to tell if such a thing was due to her poor aim, their incredible evasion tactics, or the weapons' refusal to touch such horrid creatures. "What matters is that I got her back."
Neji grew silent. For once he agreed with his time traveling counterpart. Leaning back, the boy rested as his weight sat against his palms. Letting out a sigh, Neji closed his eyes and let the rhythmic cries of battle that Tenten shouted as she threw her wide assortment of weapons comfort him.
"By the way, the only way that Grandpa Sage could bring Tenten back was to use her future self. Have fun." Naruto then disappeared, having been a shadow clone the entire time.
"Wait, what?" he asked, before he was glomped by his female teammate.
"Neji! You're back!" Tenten squealed, joy evident in every bit of her being. Neji was caught up in her reverie, until he felt a familiar pinprick on the back of his neck. He soon lost all control of his body as it fell back.
"Did you forget that I used to coat my weapons in paralyzing poisons while you were dead, Neji?" the kunoichi asked innocently. She twirled a senbon in her fingers, probably the one she used to paralyze Neji with, around her fingers. "Oh well, it's okay. You'll get reacquainted with all of them, both my poisons and weapons, in due time. After all…"
Neji felt dread like he had never felt before pool in his stomach. Then again, it could just be Tenten as that was where she chose to straddle him.
"You're going to be feeling all of them soon," Tenten continued, "in return for the emotional abuse you caused me when you died. Prepare yourself, Neji."
As he was paralyzed from head to toe, there was no feasible way the boy could have prepared himself for this. The Hyuuga whimpered as he struggled to decide whether he was relieved his best female friend was back to life, or terrified.
"We'll start with your… little Hyuuga."
Neji decided he was terrified.
