"Sir, a message from Supreme Leader Snoke."

Hux begins strutting, his voice level. "Tell him I'll take the call in my chambers –"

He flinches when the hologram of Snoke, the height of an X-wing, materializes in front of him. As the torturous lecture begins – along with a very intimidating demonstration of the Force – a red letter materializes and plants itself onto Hux's face.

He pales. "Fuck."

Snoke's image on the hologram smirks. "Fan mail so soon after your failure, Hux?"

"N-no, Supreme Leader…" Hux stares at the letter, wishing that he didn't have to open it. But sooner or later, it will start smoking up and he's never had to deal with it when it got to that point.

"Ah, I see smoke. Kindly open it before it spontaneously combusts." Snoke says in a dry voice. He smirks again. "Or perhaps we could continue with our session…"

He holds up a hand threateningly, even though Hux knows that he barely twitched when he used the Force.

He opens the letter with shaking hands, wincing and waiting for the explosion.

"BILLIUS WEASLEY!"

"Oh, bloody hell!" Hux swore as the red paper folded itself into a pair of lips and rose up in the air, still smoking.

HOW DARE YOU JOIN THE FIRST ORDER! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER HAS BEEN DEALING IN FIREWHISKY, YOUR WIFE HAS DECLARED WAR ON LEPRECHAUNS, YOUR BROTHERS HAVE CONVINCED THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC TO FORBID ASTRONOMY, YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN SIGNING PETITIONS TO REJECT ALL SPACECRAFT FROM MUGGLES AND IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU BLOW ANOTHER PLANET OUT OF ORBIT, WE WILL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!"

Hux sputters as another thing materializes and whimpers when the thing turns out to be a person with red hair and a face as bright as a tomato.

"Do you mind, woman?!" Snoke snarls, before she points a stick at him like a weapon. He shuts up, sensing great power from the stick.

"You are coming home right this instant!" Molly Weasley grabbed Hux by the ear and with a loud CRACK!, vanished just as quickly.

Snoke stares at the empty space, realizing he needs to find a replacement with enough talent and experience to do the job half a justice.

Only to find that everyone in the room had run towards the escape pods….


Author's Note: As if I am the first to make note of the "Bill Weasley is Hux" joke. Thanks for the reviews last chapter!