I UPDATED GUYS ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?
Don't expect another update like this for a while. I might be working over the summer... to survive.
If anyone wants to give me tips on how to start writing to make a living, I'm listening. I might also be working on my other projects. I've devoted a lot of time to this story because I find it generally fun to write something that doesn't take itself seriously, but I find myself wanting to write other things too. More serious things. Again, thank you for reviewing, favorite and following both me and this story. I might do shoutouts and respond to reviews next chapter, so you know. Get to it.
You have time. I don't know when the next update will be.
I love you all. We finally hit 100,000 words btw. Isn't that amazing? My first 100,000 word story! Thank you for being with me the entire way!
"This… seems like a terrible idea," Neji said as he stared at his opponent across the stadium. Said opponent just smiled, a radiant thing that seemed to be almost blinding.
"Chill out, Neji! Just think of it as a spar!" Naruto screamed. He had his hands on his hips and seemed almost nonchalant about the whole thing.
Although, to be fair, there wasn't much that Neji supposed Naruto would take notice of. He had faced down demons, gods, immortals and monsters and come out on top every time. Naruto could demolish mountains and make current maps obsolete with just a passing whim. Sasuke —a legend in his own right and a man who, based on his own bragging, had eradicated an entire Hidden Village in this reset on Naruto's suggestion— even feared and deferred to this boy in front of him. No, Neji supposed that Naruto had very little to fear.
Neji, on the other hand, had a lot to fear. The third round of the Chunin Exams was a tournament styled knockout competition, and the first match had pitted the unlucky Hyuuga against such a fearsome man. While Neji knew that he wasn't supposed to win this match either way, as he had lost it the first time around, that last time Naruto was just a mediocre ninja with the only thing going for him being an insane amount of pluck.
This time around? Naruto could decapitate the entire audience with wind chakra and a thought.
"I don't suppose you could pretend to punch me and I go down, right?" Neji asked. Around this time in the past he would be spouting off some nonsense about fate and how it predicted everyone's lives, but such a thing just seemed so futile now. How could such a puny thing as fate ever possibly affect a monumental disaster like Uzumaki Naruto?
"Nah," Naruto hummed. He was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "One of the things I had to agree to the Sage with in order to get Tenten back was that I would at least try to keep things consistent. If it gets him off my back, who am I to argue?"
Neji sighed, such a thing was to be expected. Looking up in the stands of the arena, he could see his female teammate practically jumping out of her seat to root for him. He couldn't make out her words in the roar of the people, but a smile came to his face regardless at her enthusiasm.
That smile was immediately crushed under the fear that recently started to be associated with her. Pulling his attention away from the kunoichi, lest his knees go weak, he focused on his opponent once more. Naruto had his hands behind his head now, looking for all the world like the kid he currently was, and not the supremely powerful Hokage he was supposed to be. It was a little disconcerting.
"I want a good, clean fight," the proctor said, a man whose name escaped the Hyuuga at the moment.
"Since when did ninja fight clean?" Naruto asked, a chuckle accompanying his words. The proctor smiled.
"To be honest, we didn't even have a concept of 'dirty' fighting until recently. You wanna know what changed that?"
"Sure," Naruto said.
"A plucky little ninja created a double S class forbidden technique," the proctor said, the smile on his face truly wicked. "It can't be dodged, reversed, or resisted. It always works and currently only one ninja can use it. Truly terrifying. I wonder what kind of person could make such a horrid technique?"
Neji stared at Naruto. Naruto stared back, not looking guilty in the slightest.
"It's not my fault you guys can't handle a simple conversation," the orange boy said. The proctor sneered.
"First off, that you think that we, as trained killers from infancy, would have any skill in social decorum beyond what we would need to efficiently kill someone is truly baffling. Secondly, what you do does not qualify as simply 'conversation'. That you think it does says a lot about your twisted psyche."
"Huh," Naruto said. "I have trained killers criticizing my psyche. I feel that's a life milestone."
"I can feel it," the proctor said. "I can feel my sanity draining with every word I exchange with you."
"Really, it's your own fault for continuing this as long as you have."
Neji found himself slowly tuning out of the conversation. Keeping his attention on any verbal engagement involving Naruto was a battle of endurance, and Neji learned long ago that Naruto could outlast anyone and everyone.
Naruto had proven he could outlast Death itself. Now that was a harrowing thought.
So with a lazy eye Neji looked to see where the other time travelers were. Sasuke was, of course, finding a place to sulk by himself. To his dismay Sakura didn't want to let him have that right.
XxX
"I can't even stand next to you?" the pink haired girl asked. Sasuke grunted.
"No, you're creepy."
"How am I creepy, Sasuke?"
"Okay," Sasuke grunted. "Answer this honestly. Do you or do you not have a doll somewhere in your house that looks suspiciously like me?"
Sakura was silent.
"And, by the way, do you not have it's features made of things that, at some point, actually came from me?"
Sakura looked away.
"I rest my case."
"You know, Sasuke, it's not polite to sneak into other people's shrines," Sakura whispered. Sasuke paled, as he had guessed all that stuff about the doll. Using all of his ninja training, he tried to sneak away while Sakura was looking elsewhere.
He did not succeed.
XxX
Looking elsewhere, Neji attempted to look for the other time travelers. Eyeing expertly over Tenten, Neji focused on Orochimaru, currently masquerading as the Kazekage.
XxX
"I'm Orochimaru," the fake Kazekage said, his words coming out through his teeth.
"You make the funniest jokes, Kazekage-dono," Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage said. A quiet chuckle escaped the man's lips, and there was no way to describe it besides 'grandfatherly'. "But I must say, making the same joke eighty-three times in a row is making it rather stale, no?"
"It is not a joke, Sarutobi-sensei. I really am your student." Orochimaru looked pained to the point of utmost aggravation.
"Oh? I must say, Kazekage-dono, that just simply cannot be the case!" Sarutobi said while rubbing his beard.
"And why not, sensei?" Orochimaru asked.
"Because Orochimaru isn't stupid enough to appear before me without some sort of trick up his sleeve. I may be old, but even that Snake bastard knows the extent of my powers. If he were you, here, in this enclosed space without any sort of backup rivaling that of the former Kages, well, to put it in the most delicate and sophisticated terms I can…"
Around now the room started to chill to an insane degree, the very air itself frosting over as unnatural shadow descended over the aged Hokage. Leaning forward slowly, Sarutobi invaded the Hidden Sand Village leader's personal space quite easily and without care, his face coming dangerously close to the other man's.
"Well, I would say that the very best lesson I ever taught my students was to truly fear what I could do to them should they betray either me or the Leaf. You, not being one of my students, don't know that lesson. But if you were one of my students… I guess it would be time for another lesson, no?"
Orochimaru, as the Sand's leader, shook his head violently as repressed memories suddenly came to the forefront of his mind. All too soon he remembered why exactly he had immediately summoned two Hokages to fight this rather ancient man.
Quickly, as if it were never there, the oppressive aura that had gathered had fled the viewing balcony the two leaders were sitting in. Hiruzen was sitting comfortably in his chair, his aged back rested against the back of the cushioned chair and his eyes closed in contentment.
"Great. So now that we have established that you are, in fact, not my wayward student, shall we enjoy the proceedings?"
Orochimaru nodded vigorously, not confident in the state of his voice.
XxX
Neji wasn't too sure what had happened up there, but he knew that he probably wanted no part of it. Tuning back into the conversation happening within his earshot, Neji managed to catch onto the tail end of it.
"For the last time, no, it doesn't make it legal if your shadow clones perform the technique," the proctor said through gritted teeth. To this, Naruto just pouted, before kicking at the dirt.
"It was worth a shot…" he whispered, folding his arms like a child. Neji smirked at the older man's actions, a glimmer of hope appearing in his heart. At the end of the day Naruto, while being insanely powerful, was still just a boy at heart. The fight would be long, and no doubt painful, but at the very least Naruto wouldn't do anything drastic. He was a childish man, if nothing else, and that usually equated to some sort of mercy.
"Begin!" the proctor said, before jumping away to safety. Neji got into a fighting stance, an advanced form of the Hyuuga's Gentle Fist style that he shouldn't have known yet. Sure, he was breaking some rules, but he needed at least this much if he was going to survive the storm that was Naruto.
"Try to take it easy on me!" Neji shouted, his hope from before spreading throughout his bones. Naruto simply smiled back, his arms still folded.
"Of course, Neji! I normally would never be serious fighting against anyone that wasn't Sasuke."
Neji smiled, relief filling his entire being. "That's great! For a second there I actually feared you were going to…"
Then dread. Then dread filled his entire being.
"What do you mean by… 'normally'?"
"Well," Naruto started. The boy started to walk around, his hand rubbing at his chin. "Normally, I would understand that there was no possible way that anyone in the entire world would be able to stand up to me, and I would go easy on them, using as little of my power as possible to subdue them, because it is just so easy to kill people when you can cut through them like paper."
Neji unconsciously stepped back. He didn't like the way this was going.
"But," the blonde continued, "Sometimes, when I'm just so pissed off, I forget that my Rasengan has cut through a tree as wide as our entire village and shifted the tectonic plates beneath us resulting in earthquakes so far away from where I used it that I couldn't fathom visiting those places."
Neji leapt backwards. The situation was degrading fast. Thinking on his feet, he tried to imagine what he could have done to piss off the boy that was now slowly stalking towards him, the chakra emitting from his body so thick that it was visible even without his Byakugan active.
"Did you know I took on a team of Genin, Neji?" Naruto asked. Neji shook his head, not trusting his voice to answer for him. "Well, I did. And do you want to guess what I think is the best lesson I had ever taught them?"
Neji shook his head violently. He had a feeling that he did not want to guess.
"Go on, try."
Well, that was a decision that was taken from him. Stammering out his reply, Neji stated that he didn't know.
"Well, I guess it can't be helped then." Naruto's voice was monotone, and there was a hint of danger there that was wholly apparent. "I would say that the very best lesson I had ever taught my students was to truly fear what I could do to them if they should ever betray either me or the Leaf. Sasuke inspired it."
Up in the stands Sasuke stood behind Kakashi. He would deny it if anyone ever said he was cowering.
"You're not one of my students, Neji, but I think you'll benefit from that lesson," and with that, the blonde Hokage exploded from his position in a flurry of blue chakra. Neji had less than a second to react before he was subject to what he would refer to later on in his life as the worst experience he had ever had.
XxX
Orochimaru looked at the complete massacre that was happening below him in the arena with wide eyes. Long had it been since he had felt for another person, but the events down there made it certainly hard for him to keep that lack of empathy.
"Dear Sage," Orochimaru whispered, horror evident in his voice as it reluctantly left his mouth. "What brutality."
"Oh?" Hiruzen asked, his eyes only now leaving the spectacle before him. "I wouldn't go that far. The boy still has a long way to go. He has the makings of a fine Hokage, though."
Orochimaru just gaped at his former sensei, unsure as to whether or not the old man was serious. If the gentle, almost uncaring smile he had on his face was any indicator, the old man absolutely was.
All at once, Orochimaru retracted his bitterness over not being chosen for the next Hokage.
XxX
"Naruto! You promised the Sage you would try to keep things the same!" Neji half whimpered, half cried as Naruto stalked towards him. He was currently battered into the wall of the stadium. Far more bones than he believed he started with were broken.
"Did I? I don't remember. All I remember was that you had beaten Hinata to an inch of her life."
Neji suddenly found out how he had pissed off Naruto.
"That… I did that to keep time the same, Naruto!"
"And I'm doing this to keep time the same as well."
"This didn't happen last time!"
"It didn't?" Naruto asked. "I don't remember."
And the punishment continued.
XxX
Sasuke, both Sharingan active, stared at the scene below him. Though the Mangekyo spun in eerie red silence, the Uchiha's stare was vacant, almost lifeless.
"That's… terrible." Sakura whispered. Sasuke shook his head.
"If you let it affect you, he'll just dominate you forever. It's best if you just don't let it get to you."
Shikamaru stared at the Uchiha, his face in shock for once. "How do you not let that get to you?"
"You just don't."
"What are you talking abou-" Sasuke rounded on the boy.
"You just don't."
XxX
Down in the stadium, Neji lie in a broken, messed up heap in a crater in the floor of the stadium.
Or what once was a stadium. Right now it was more of a pock marked hell on Earth.
The proctor made his way back out onto the stadium floor, carefully stepping around fluids that he was sure could incapacitate him immediately. It had been five minutes now since the match had ended, and he had not gotten very far. Cutting his losses, he simply called the match from where he was.
"Neat," Naruto said, his hands once more on his hips. Besides a bit of goo that stained his cheeks, slashing through the horizontal lines vertically, the boy looked none worse for the wear.
"Was all this… necessary?" the proctor asked.
"Absolutely," Naruto answered. Without another word, the boy turned and walked from the stadium, expertly maneuvering around his own wonton destruction in a way that was almost elegant. Upon reaching the demolished exit, Naruto turned around, nodded, and then continued on his way as if the last five minutes hadn't happened.
"Dear Gods," Asuma whispered from his place in the stands. Beside him Tenten just laughed. She was the only person in the entire stadium able to do so, however, so her voice echoed around the entire thing unabated.
You know, besides the Hokage's laughter.
"Ahh, the good old Prank God of Konoha!" the young kunoichi bellowed. "I forgot how masterful he was! There's just something about it that far outstrips anything Bolt had ever done!"
Down in the stadium Neji simply twitched in response, though not from any sort of voluntary action. No, Neji had twitched from the itching powder currently filling every inch of his clothes and the burn marks lining everywhere not covered by said garments.
For when you upset the Prank God of Konoha, you don't get off easy.
XxX
"So… who do we root for?" Tenten asked. She sat beside Naruto and an unconscious Neji as they watched Temari and Shikamaru fight in the stadium below."
"Dunno," Naruto said. He scratched his head, a frown marring his usually excited face. "It's not nice to get between couples. Hinata told me that doing that was bad."
"Well, technically they're not a couple yet… unless…" Tenten stared harder at the two as they "fought" below. Shikamaru was currently hiding amongst the trees, trying to outsmart his better equipped opponent. "Are they back in time too?"
Naruto sighed. "No, Tenten. I told you, the only people back in time with us are Sasuke, Neji and Orochimaru."
Tenten glanced up at the viewer balcony hosting both the Hokage and the Sannin disguised as the leader of the Sand Village. "Yeah, about that, why is he here?"
"I don't know, Tenten. He's hard to get rid of."
"The Sandaime looks like he's doing a good job."
Indeed, Orochimaru appeared to be shaking in his robes.
"I'm sure it's nothing," Naruto muttered, never once even glancing up at the two "leaders." For a while after the two fell into a comfortable silence, looking out over the battle that was effectively Shikamaru toying with his future wife. After a couple minutes, however, Tenten finally spoke up.
"So… you wanna show me?"
Naruto sighed. "No, Tenten."
"Oh?" Tenten cooed. "Why not, Naru-chan?"
"You know exactly why I won't, Tenten."
Tenten started poking at the blonde powerhouse. "Come on, Naru-chan. I just wanna see what all the fuss is about!"
"No, Tenten!"
"Stop being so mean, Naru-chan!"
"I'm not being mean, I just don't want to do it!"
"Don't want to do what?" Neji asked. He squinted, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he attempted to staunch the headache following his monumental headache beatdown. Finally quelling the pounding in his head, the Hyuuga cautiously opened his eyes, only to see his new Top Two scariest people looking back down at him. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Oh, don't be that way, Neji! Is that anyway to treat your best friend after not seeing her for so long?" The bun haired girl then pouted. "And you didn't even write."
"I was dead," Neji said. "That makes it pretty hard to write."
"Naruto died and he still keeps in touch!" Tenten whined. Neji looked at the blonde boy, who smiled back at him, albeit a little forcefully.
"Naruto isn't normal."
"Well, maybe you should just stop being normal," Tenten responded, as if such a thing was a feasible answer. She folded her arms and turned her back on him as she pouted. The action would have been incredibly cute, if Neji didn't have the foreknowledge that his friend was actually in her late twenties/ early thirties.
Deciding to divert the conversation, he turned to Naruto. "You died?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah," Naruto responded. He did it so nonchalantly that Neji wondered if anything surprised his friends anymore. "Kyuubi was drained from me during the war. It killed me. I met Grandpa Sage in limbo afterwards."
Neji wanted to ask how, oh how, Naruto was alive if he had died but thought better of it. If no one else was getting surprised by anything then he resolved not to be the only one that was.
"Ah, I see," Neji said. Naruto smiled.
"Yeah, I hear Sasuke died around the same time too. Gai-sensei died for a bit after he used the Eight Gates as well, but they all got better."
Neji, who was doing a great job of keeping his composure, guffawed. "Oh come on! Did everyone come back to life except me? I understand Sasuke, he pretty much shares the propensity for common sense that you do, but there is no way that Gai-sensei survived opening all Eight Gates! It literally breaks your body and burns out your very soul."
"Oh yeah," Tenten chirped. Apparently she had stopped being angry. "I heard about that. Didn't you grow his soul back?"
Neji's eyes were as wide as saucers as he looked back and forth between his two companions.
"Yeah, I did do that, didn't I?" Naruto said while scratching the back of his neck. His smile was so wide it stretched his cheeks and closed his eyes.
"Wha… how?" Neji stammered, trying to establish some sense of normalcy. For a while, the three were silent, until Naruto finally spoke up.
"You know… I don't really know."
"You don't know how you regrew someone's soul?"
"Nope!" Naruto chirped, his smile as bright as ever. "Still don't. To be honest, I kinda forgot that I could."
Neji gaped at the man he was sitting beside. Covertly, he switched seats with Tenten.
"Oh, Naru-chan! I get to sit next to you! Show me now!" Tenten was absolutely beaming as she latched onto her future Hokage, her arms locking into place around the currently much smaller boy's ribs.
Naruto's smile dimmed a bit as it became forced once more. "No, Tenten! Stop asking me!"
"Wait," Neji asked. "What is she talking about?"
"Naru-chan doesn't want to show me his special little thing~" Tenten whined. The content of the statement, along with the way she hung off of Naruto and the way she said it implied something far dirtier in nature. Instantly Neji's Byakugan activated.
"Naruto… what is she talking about?" Regardless of the downright brutal beating he just suffered, he would not tolerate infidelity from any man towards his cousin, no matter who he was. Naruto noticed the sudden hostility, and raised his hands to ward off any ill intent.
"It's not what you're thinking, Neji!" Naruto screamed. "Tenten is just being an ass. Tell him, Tenten!"
Tenten pouted, holding onto the blonde ninja for just a bit longer before ruffling his hair. She enjoyed the younger boy's grunts of indignation for a bit before releasing him, plopping back down in the seat between Neji and Naruto.
Neji, once more, covertly switched seats with her.
"You're no fun, Naruto," Tenten said, a small smile on her face. "At least you're nice and mini-sized now. You're not as cute when you're all grown up."
Naruto rolled his eyes, a more natural smile peeking through once more. "Don't get used to it. I'm still the hard assed Seventh Hokage you all fear."
Tenten put a finger to her chin, pretending to stare off into the distance while she contemplated things. "Oh? Did I fear you? I dunno. It's pretty hard to fear a man who wants me to save him from the wrath of a fifteen year old boy."
Naruto laughed. "I don't need any saving from this Hyuuga. I just don't want your little boyfriend to get the wrong idea about us."
Neji blushed a little at this, but said nothing as the two continued to ignore him.
"Neji? My boyfriend?" Tenten giggled. She reached over and snagged a bit of his long, ebony locks, twirling them around her index finger. "Nah. He's too young for me now. They don't age once they die right? He's like, sixteen right now. I don't need to be dating boys."
Neji felt a bit of relief at Tenten's statement, though a hollow, empty feeling rose up from his gut to take its place.
"Though…" Tenten mused, a mischievous smile on her face. "When he grows up… maybe."
Neji felt his embarrassment return tenfold as he did an impressive rendition of his younger female cousin. Both of his time traveling compatriots shared a laugh at how red he had gotten, and Neji was forced to endure the situation as best he could.
Too bad it only got worse.
"Are we laughing at the Hyuuga? Cause I really need this right now," Sasuke said, his usual arrogant smile on his face as he landed from a high speed movement in the row of seats behind the three. He took a seat in the vacant chair, though, to be honest, he could have sat anywhere.
There was no one seated for several rows around where Naruto sat. You don't sit near someone easily able to commit that kind of brutality.
"What did he do this ti-" was all the Uchiha was able to get out before Tenten hooked her arm around the young boy's neck and pulled him into a rather vicious headlock. The raven haired boy tried to free himself, he really did, but as soon as he showed the slightest resistance he felt a prick on the nape of his neck and his entire body went slack.
To his credit, Sasuke showed no alarm at being paralyzed. "Damn it, let me go, Tenten!"
"And why should I?" the bun haired girl asked. "I've been back in the past for like, three whole days and I haven't even seen you once! How are you doing?"
"Oh, you know," Sasuke grunted. "Burning villages, killing civilians, being paralyzed from the neck down. The usual."
"Neat!" Tenten chirped. "Sounds like a normal Saturday night!"
"About," Sasuke admitted. Neji stared.
"Is this normal for you?"
"It's so weird seeing you guys without your wives. Am I really the only woman here?" Tenten asked. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, before shrugging.
"It's still up in the air on what Orochimaru is. You could be the only woman here, or you could not be."
Tenten shivered. "Don't lump me in any category that Snake bastard is in. I don't even want to know what he considers himself to be."
"Really?" Sasuke asked in a moment of amazing social engagement. "Not even a little bit?" Tenten looked away.
"No…"
"You're lying," Naruto said, smiling. Tenten sighed.
"I both do and I don't, okay? It's curious to me but it also disgusts me in a way that I cannot properly convey."
"Don't worry," a familiar, baritone voice said. "I understand the sentiment."
In the row in front of the assembled time travelers a miasma of flame and foul chakra burst forth from nowhere, engulfing a single seat. Roiling and shifting, the fire, ash and smoke contorted itself to the form of a rather tall man, before cooling and showing an adult Naruto. He wore a red suit jacket, inlaid with gold buttons and black around the handcuffs and along the zipper. His pants were a nice, solitary black, meshing well with the color of his suede shoes whose laces were tipped with gold. On his head he wore a black top hat with a red Uzumaki swirl, his whole ensemble complimented by a monocle.
Sitting with one leg crossed and his arms draped over the backs of the seats next to him, the fox turned, an action that seemed rather smooth had he been in the company of anyone else. With a graceful smile, the man sneered at the kids behind him, his canines showing through the action.
"How are you brats toda-" was as far as he got before he was scooped into another headlock by Tenten using her free arm.
"Foxy!" the girl squealed.
"Oh, you're back," Kyuubi sighed, "Good to see you again, Tenten."
"It's good to see you too, Foxy! How have you been?"
"Oh, you know," the fox replied. "Destroying villages, killing innocent civilians, eating people. The usual."
"Sounds like a Wednesday night!" Tenten chirped.
"About," Kyuubi admitted. He stared over at the Uchiha that was sharing his fate and noticed how the boy was limp. "You tried to struggle, didn't you?"
"I didn't think she had those poisons in the past."
"Fair enough."
"Anyway," Neji said. It appeared that he would always be the person to keep the conversation, and the sanity, on track. "What were you saying about Naruto showing you something?" Instantly both headlocked boys' eyes widened, and despite their predicaments tried to escape. Somehow, without using her hands, the weapons mistress pricked the two boys with poison and ended their futile attempts at escape.
"You're crazy, woman!" Sasuke screamed. "Why are you still trying to get him to show you that?"
Tenten looked at the Uchiha as if he were stupid. "Cause it's fun? It looked fun."
"You enjoy playing with fire, don't you girl?" the Kyuubi asked.
"And knives. Fire and sharp things are my favorites. Though, to be fair, it's the same for the both of you as well." Sasuke and Kyuubi had the decency to look even slightly ashamed.
"Wait, I don't understand. What is she talking about?"
Sasuke grunted. "Tenten wants to see something of which she has no comprehension."
"You make it sound so much more terrible than it is," Tenten pouted.
"Yeah!" Naruto said. "It's not that bad!"
"It is," Kyuubi said, "It's the worst thing ever and she's crazy for wanting to see it."
"Wait," Neji said. "From the way you guys are talking, it sounds like she wants to see…"
"Yup!" Tenten chirped. "I wanna see the Talk no Jutsu!"
Neji stared at her. He stared at the woman and knew, finally, for the first time what true insanity was like.
"Dear Gods," Kyuubi muttered. "Why do all of you boys get attached to the crazies?"
"Hey, Hinata's not that bad!" Naruto defended his wife, even though he knew that even now his future wife was probably stalking him.
"I didn't know how crazy Sakura was until recently," Sasuke said. He looked up at his own future wife sitting with her family some rows away. She was staring intensely at the match but, as if feeling his gaze, looked away to meet his eyes. They locked gazes for what seemed like an eternity to Sasuke, before the pink haired girl smiled, before waving slightly. Overall, she seemed impossibly adorable.
And nothing at all like the girl who owned a secret shrine in her home dedicated to him.
"I… I didn't know…" the boy whimpered. Tenten patted his head through the headlock… somehow.
"I didn't know Tenten was crazy at all…" Neji defended himself, before realizing what he had said. He turned red once more as all those in earshot shot a knowing grin his way.
Tenten's eyebrow raised. "And is that a problem, Neji?"
Neji, to his credit, didn't back down. "Surprisingly… no."
"Good," Tenten smiled. "Cause it only gets worse from here."
"Does that insanity translate to the bedroom?" Neji asked, the words coming out before he could stop them. All those in attendance stared at the boy, before the once girl laughed uproariously.
"Oh, you are gonna be fun. I missed you Neji." Neji smiled.
"I missed you too, Tenten."
XxX
Feathers fell upon the stadium, covering both the audience and the arena in a genjutsu meant to induce sleep. One by one both ninjas and civilians fell to the advanced technique, with only the hardiest and most experienced of warriors maintaining consciousness.
This, of course, included the six time traveling ninja.
"Oh, this already?" Sasuke asked. A smirk adorned his face as he deactivated the Chidori that was blazing in his palm. "I wanted to have a little more fun with you, Sand Rat."
Said "sand rat" just scowled at the raven haired boy. He had been beaten around mercilessly, even more mercilessly than that time he fought that weird spandex wearing kid. How badly did Gaara want to release his mother here and now, and lay waste to the fool who dared to hurt him.
But not now. It was not time yet. He relented when his so called siblings came to retrieve him.
"It's time to go, Gaara!" Temari yelled to her youngest brother. Gaara paid her no heed, instead choosing to stare down the boy who had harmed him. Said boy simply stared back, that same infuriating smile on his face that haunted him during their entire fight plastered on his face.
"I will be back for you. Mother will taste your blood," Gaara said, his voice low and dangerous.
"Please, jinchuuruki," Sasuke replied. "I have faced true demons, and your little sand puppy is far too small to scare me anymore. Lick your wounds," he said while placing his other hand in his pocket. "For no matter how bad you think I am…"
Sasuke looked up in the stands. Naruto had made a beeline for Tenten, taking out every ninja in his path be they friend or foe. He did so without a second thought, and seemingly without effort.
"… there is something much worse coming for you."
Gaara stared at the boy some more, trying to understand what the boy in front of him was trying to say. The Uchiha didn't seem like the type of person to admit anyone his equal, let alone his better. Relishing the thought of someone even stronger than the Uchiha to feed to his mother, Gaara simply smiled as he let his siblings drag him away. Sasuke stared at the trio as they fled the quickly forming battlefield that was once a stadium, before rushing to his future wife's side.
"She may be insane, but she makes a wonderful heir."
He wouldn't admit, even out loud, that he still found that he loved her.
XxX
"Get him, Hokages! Keep him away from me!" Orochimaru shouted, summoning the first two Hokages almost as soon as the barrier came up. Sarutobi did not look impressed.
"I see you need remedial lessons, my foolish student," the old man grunted. Orochimaru whimpered.
XxX
"Get fucked, you Sand and Sound fucks!" Tenten shouted. She opened two scrolls…
And a literal ocean of weaponry flooded out from them.
"Ahahahaahahahahahahaa!" Tenten cackled. She had buried both friend and foe underneath her onslaught.
"Where did you even get all of those weapons?" Naruto asked. He landed next to her before she unleashed spikey, pointy hell on those below her.
"I brought it from the past with me!" the weapons mistress chirped.
"You can't bring anything from the past," Naruto said, tilting his head.
"Ah," was Tenten's sole response. The two then watched in silence as still more weapons came spewing out of the two scrolls. Those who weren't dead from Tenten's initial onslaught would find death hurtling their way now.
"So anyway," Naruto continued, completely ignoring the impossible thing that Tenten was currently doing. "I need you to look at something for me."
"What is it, Naru-kun?" Tenten asked. She tilted her head when Naruto pulled out a kunai, a rather dull one at that, from his pocket. "What's this?"
"A special thing," Naruto said. "I need you to look it over for me."
"What's so special about it?" Tenten asked. She reached out to retrieve the weapon from her future leader. "It looks like a normal knife to m-" Tenten stared at the kunai she let fall to the floor almost as soon as it touched her skin.
"I'm not touching that. What the hell is that?"
"I'm… not too sure," Naruto admitted. "But you are going to help me forge it back to its former glory."
"Naruto," Tenten whispered. "What… is that?"
"I don't know," Naruto repeated. He too looked down at the kunai that lay on the floor between them, although his face was much fonder as he did so. "But I do know that me and the guys agreed on what to call it."
"And what is that?" Tenten asked. She was a little creeped out as Naruto leaned forward, as if the name itself was something to be kept secret.
"The Kunai," Naruto whispered once he was close enough. All at once the skies darkened, and thunder boomed overhead to herald the naming of the one weapon that should never have been given such a thing.
Tenten, however, just looked at Naruto incredulously, before breaking out into laughter, regardless of the ominous weather that miraculously happened.
"How original."
