My Never
Chapter 12
Part of this is from Devony's POV. It was weird to write, because it is from the perspective of a three year old, and most people don't remember being three all that clearly. But hey, I tried. And . . . that's all I have to say.
Devony ~ Social Services Building ~ 3 ½ months ago
Devony sat alone in a waiting room, swinging her legs off the edge of the too-tall chair. There were people rushing by in the hallway beside her, all seeming to have somewhere to go or something to do.
Savvy had left her here about a half hour ago, after saying she was sorry over and over again. Devony wasn't exactly sure what she was sorry about. Maybe that she had to leave. The woman with the face like a mouse had said so.
Devony wiped her eyes vigorously when her thoughts turned to her mother. She had promised that she would come back, and they would go see Cinderella, but she never came. She had stayed with Aunt Savvy and Uncle Weiss for a long, long time.
The mouse faced woman came back, this time with a man with skin as dark as chocolate. Devony watched them curiously. They said stuff about guardianship and parents and many different places Devony had never heard of. She wanted to ask if they knew where her mom was, but she had learned that adults didn't like being interrupted. Well, some of them didn't mind. But she thought the mouse-faced woman would.
The building where she was sitting was so boring. They had lots of dull adult magazines, but no toys and no kids. Devony slid off the chair slowly, glancing back to make sure no one was watching her, and set off to explore her surroundings.
Exploring was not nearly as much fun as she thought it was going to be. She had been hoping they had brought her here because her mommy was here, but apparently not. The halls were all the same, and Devony was soon lost. Everyone's glances slid right past her, and on to their next important job or chore.
"Hey, there she is! Stop! Stop, Devony!" The mouse haired lady and three other people were running towards her. She couldn't help feeling scared. She turned and ran, shoes making tapping noises as she went.
She managed to get into a cupboard without them finding her. Devony sat in the dark for ten minutes . . . then twenty . . . then thirty. Finally, the black man from earlier found her. "I found her!" he called to the others. "Devony, you don't need to run. It's okay."
"You're strangers," Devony told them. It was what her mom had told her to say.
"We're good strangers, Devony."
"Where's my mommy? I want her!" she said loudly, trying to pull away.
"Devony, I'm sorry, but your mom won't be coming back for a while."
"Why not?"
"It's hard to explain. It's going to be okay, though, Devony. I'm Janice."
Derek ~ Seattle Grace ~ present
"Daddy! Looked what I drawed, daddy!" Devony called excitedly, running out of Richard's office.
"Drew," Derek corrected automatically. "Good girl for using paper this time, Dev. Let's see it."
Devony held out a crayon drawing of four people. One was small and had long, dark hair, and a dress identical to the one Devony was wearing. There were two figures holding hands. After a moment, Derek recognized himself and Addison. Addison's hair in the picture was bright red. Their hands were touching and they both had a few too many fingers. Derek found himself getting choked up. "This is – this is nice, Devony. Wait, who is this?"
"My sister," Devony said, indicating the fourth figure. "She lives in heaven, with the angels." The drawing of Evelyn was floating in the sky, above Addison, Derek and Devony. She had pink angel's wings and a halo.
Derek nodded and smiled, but the drawing of Addison reminded him that he might be mourning her soon too. He'd had Devony for three months, which meant Addison had been taken four months ago. He couldn't be sure she was still alive, although he tried to believe she was. The police had no new leads, and told him to prepare himself.
He had come to terms with the fact that he might be a single dad. He loved taking care of Devony. It filled his days with purpose and meaning, something they hadn't always had before.
"Hey, there, Devony," George said, coming up to them. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd." Derek merely nodded. "Devony, your daddy was just coming to check on you. He has one more surgery. Why don't you go back and color in Richard's office? I'll come with you."
"No, Georgie, I want to do surgery with daddy today." George had long ago given up on stopping her from calling him Georgie.
"Dev, I've already told you, you can't come to surgery with me."
Devony pouted. Derek waited for the explosion. Despite his best efforts, he hadn't gotten her to bed until midnight the night before. George, sensing this and trying to help, reached for Devony's hand. "It'll be fun, Devony, I promise."
Devony bit him.
"Devony!" Derek said instantly. "I'm so sorry, George. Devony, you know that's not okay."
"Rawr. Rawr, daddy. I'm a tiger. You can't tell me what to do, or I'll eat you!" Derek only sighed. Her tricks no longer worked on him.
"Well, tiger, you get to go color in Richard's office. Make us all some pictures with those crayons you got for Christmas. And make George a card telling him you're sorry. Right now, young lady."
"Rawr," Devony called, walking back into Richard's office.
~ Meredith ~
"She bit me!" George's indignant voice echoed all the way down the hallway. "She bit me!"
"Who?" Izzie asked him, finally looking up from her food as he approached. Meredith turned to him for his answer, although she already knew.
"Devony!" George yelled.
"Why'd she bite you?" Izzie laughed.
"It's not funny!" George told her angrily.
"Of course not," Izzie said, rolling her eyes. "But why'd she do it?"
"She didn't want to go color, I guess," George said, shrugging and examining the bite again.
"Vampire-child. That's what I'm calling her!" Cristina said triumphantly. "And by the way, George, you only have to watch Devony a few times a week. But every time Meredith wants to see her boyfriend, she has to see Devony too. So I don't think you should complain."
"Well, she hasn't bitten me yet," Meredith said. "But that's surprising. I don't think she likes me."
"You shouldn't be complaining either. If anyone should be, it's Addison, because somebody freakin' kidnapped her!" Izzie snapped.
"What is your problem?" Meredith asked. "What, is it that time of month or something, Iz?"
Izzie shook her head. "I'm just sick of hearing you complain about McDreamy and his McKid. Devony doesn't like you because you don't like her and you don't make an effort. She likes everyone else, even Alex, who's an ass."
"Hey," Alex protested, his first time speaking since the start of the conversation.
Izzie ignored him. "Seriously, Mer. If you can't deal with the fact that he has a kid, just end it. You guys have had problems for ages."
"I don't want to end it!" Meredith said frustratedly. "Derek is like the first good thing to happen to me, ever. He's a great guy, a white hat. They're rare, for me, okay? We just have problems to work through. And this kid thing. I don't know," she said, exasperated.
"Meredith, just because Derek is a good guy doesn't mean he's the right person for you," Izzie said gently.
"Whatever," Meredith said.
~ Derek ~
"Still mad at me?" Derek asked as he lifted his daughter onto his shoulders a few hours later.
"About what?" Devony asked curiously.
"Never mind," he laughed as he opened the door and walked out onto the roof of the hospital. The sunset looked like something she would draw; random splashes of bright colors dotted the horizon. Devony stretched her arms toward the heavens, as if she could touch the first star from his shoulders, and Derek inhaled deeply. He closed his eyes as the cool night air flowed through him.
She was everywhere. How could one person be so everywhere? Images of Addison bled in through his dreams, and half of the hospital held some inherent reminder of her. It was ironic that thoughts of his ex-wife wouldn't leave him alone now that he knew she might be gone forever.
The inside of his eyelids seemed permanently tattooed with her bright smile. His neck hurt from the number of times he'd jerked his head around at the sight of red hair, hoping it was her. He'd been drinking his coffee leaning on the counter this morning when he remembered her bringing him juju there one time. He'd left abruptly, trying to blink away his tears. Last week he'd been called to the exam room where he had sex with Meredith at prom. Richard had to come ask later why there were surgical tools sticking out of the wall. Derek had said it was because he was an idiot. Just a few minutes ago he'd stood in the spot where he watched Addison socializing with a patient so many years ago because he was ignoring her.
And every single freaking time he walked out the front doors, he remembered her words.
"Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd. And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."
Despite how angry he'd been with her at the time, he had almost laughed. It was so Addison. Her next comment had been, "Your hair is different." And then the Russell Crowe line, and, "She's young. The whole ooh-he's-a-brain-surgeon thing happening, but still sweet. Which is what you were going for, right? The anti-Addison?" She had been right. She had been on thin ice, like he'd told her, but she was still right.
Her words echoed in his head every time he passed that spot. He didn't know what he'd had back then, he hadn't known until she was gone. "I did. I flew all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed and make you realize you can't live without me." It was so true. He couldn't live without her. Not really live.
Don't take her. Please, don't take her from us. We need her. Me and her daughter, we need her, Derek pleaded silently to the heavens. He used to go to church as a kid but now he wasn't even sure what he believed anymore. He was tired of being the subject of everyone's hushed whispers. Doctors, nurses, even the janitors would only talk quietly when he was around. Still, he knew what they said. That he was a mess, that Addison had left him a kid and run off, that she was most likely dead and that they were sorry for the little dark haired child without a mother, that McDreamy was regretting having anything to do with Meredith Grey. Precious few still acted normal around him, even Meredith was cautious when she wasn't angry with him. But Richard gave his full support, Bailey yelled at him like usual, Mark had completely changed his life to help out with Devony and even Burke donated an occasional comment in support of Derek.
He was worried that he'd had his chance. Chances, actually. He got to be married to Addison for eleven years. Then he got another chance to fix their marriage, he'd screwed it up and now he was out. He knew that maybe he didn't deserve yet another chance but he was begging God not to take Addison away from him. She was gorgeous and hilarious and slightly neurotic and smart and kickass and completely adorable. She was Addie. Of course Heaven would want someone like her. Please don't take her yet.
Not the longest ever, I know. A few things just have to happen in the story before Addison is found, but in the next chapter you finally start finding out what exactly happened to her. I would love to hear any of your thoughts :D
