My Never
Chapter 16

Well, I'm glad we all agree about Hannah Montana (it disgusts me to even type her name ...) My sisters like her, and I'm like, There is definitely something wrong with you. Anyway, enough about that! You probly have already skipped this because you want to know if Addison is alive, and I can't really blame you. But just in case you're still reading - Thank you for the amazing reviews, it is great and really inspiring to hear that people are enjoying the story! Okay, I'm done for today, go read!


Callie ~ Seattle Grace ~ present

When Callie sank down into a chair after her five hour ortho surgery, the last thing she expected to find was a crying Mark Sloan. She was about to fall asleep but she gently tugged the hands that were concealing his tears away from his face and looked into his bright blue eyes. His shoulders still shook with sobs.

"Mark?" she asked, seeing the tortured expression in his eyes. "What's wrong with you?" Mark was one of her only friends at Seattle Grace. After the George thing, Meredith and her gang ignored her, not that they had been overly nice in the first place. But through their strange sex arrangements she'd found a true friend in Mark Sloan. And he'd helped her through her ruined marriage, so she was here to help him.

"It's not me. It's Addison."

Addison. Callie hadn't known the redheaded attending well at all, but Addison had been the unwilling star subject of the gossip mills while she'd worked at Seattle Grace. And now she was again, even though she wasn't here, because she had a kid with McDreamy and she was missing and he was trying to find her. Despite the obvious connection between Addison and Derek that everyone knew about, and the seeming inevitability that they would be together, Callie knew that Mark had loved Addison too.

"What is it? Mark, do you still love her?" Callie asked gently, ignoring the twinge of hurt she felt when she asked that.

"I'm not in love with her anymore, if that's what you're asking. I was once, but I'm not anymore. She's Derek's. But . . . I was friends with her for years and she might be dead, Cal."

Callie sighed sadly and wrapped her arms around Mark's shoulders. "Hey, come on, you don't know that. You have to be optimistic and believe that she's going to be okay, Mark." She wasn't sure, but she thought she felt him nod. He looked like a little boy so broken and devastated like this that she couldn't let go of him.


~ Derek ~

"Is she – Miranda, tell me – what – is she alive?" he choked out, barely able to talk.

"Yes, Derek, she's alive, but she's not doing so well."

The rest of her sentence floated off meaninglessly. Addison, his Addie, was alive. She was alive! She was going to be okay!

"She's alive?" he asked, his eyes filling with tears. Bailey nodded again. Derek felt his knees go weak with relief, and he sank to the floor, not caring what anyone thought of him. Bailey just let him be for a minute, and looked away when his tears turned to sobs. He was so relieved that he was literally shaking and although people were staring at him, on his knees in the middle of Seattle Grace, his behavior did not indicate whether the news was good or bad.

"Yes, Shepherd, she's alive, although there are some things you should know. She went into surgery a few minutes ago because of a traumatic brain injury. Her skull was fractured and she was seizing. She also fractured her pelvis and two ribs, and her leg had to be rebroken and set. She had some internal bleeding and was hemorrhaging pretty badly. Her spleen was ruptured, and she had kidney and liver damage. She's covered in lacerations, including one serious on her shoulder. They pumped so many drugs into her, Derek, that we just don't know if she'll pull through. And she's not breathing on her own."

Derek nodded, sobered by her words. A long recovery lay ahead of Addison, but he would be beside her for every minute of it. Maybe he would get to see her soon. That would be amazing. Maybe he'd get to hold her hand. That would be extraordinary. She was finally coming back to him. He'd finally get to see her perfect features and bright hair and blue-green eyes and amazing body. He'd get to see Addie again, and it was exhilarating. He hadn't realized how grey and dull life had been before. After she left, the colors had faded, but now, even from hundreds of miles away, she was painting his world in bright hues once again. Love and hope and trust and meaning were making a return.

It was difficult to picture her so broken. Whenever he imagined Addison, he saw her walking down the busy streets of New York confidently, maybe pulling Devony along beside her. He could see her on the beach with Naomi, laughing and letting the water swirl around her legs, the sun lighting up the planes of her face. But he couldn't see her lying nearly dead in a hospital bed. Addison was not a person associated with weakness or sickness. People thought of her as strong and independent, because that's what she always pretended to be.

"Derek." The reluctant tone of Miranda Bailey's voice snapped thoughts back to the present. She looked like there was something else she needed to tell him, but that she didn't want to. What other knowledge could be too terrible for him to know? She wasn't dead, but she had suffered nearly every other injury he could think of and a fate he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. Not even Mark in the instant he saw him and his wife actually having sex on his bed and hearing her soft moans. Not even then.

"Derek, I really hate to have to be the one to tell you this. But you need to know. Derek … Addison was raped. Multiple times. I'm so sorry."

The bottom dropped out of his stomach, down into the floor, and continued through several layers of concrete and foundation until it reached the soft earth below. He let out a ragged breath as the nausea swept over him.

When he'd learned what they were planning to do with Addison, basically sell her as a sex slave, the idea that she could have been raped entered his head. He'd dismissed it because he didn't want to deal with the insanity that accompanied that reality unless he had to. Unfortunately he was facing it right at this moment. "What – what exactly happened? How did they find her?" he asked in order to distract himself.

"She's the only one they've found alive so far. You know the kidnappers were trying to get down to South America with their drugs, which they deemed more valuable than the kidnapped women. They dumped the victims out of their van and into a river in Mexico. Many of them drowned, but they think Addison somehow ended up on her back and she was able to float. She was carried a ways down the river, where she was discovered by some kids going rafting. They Life Flighted her to a hospital in San Diego, where she is right now. She went into surgery almost right away because of her internal injuries."

"I should be the one operating on her, not some second rate nobody."

"Derek, no one in their right mind would let you operate on Addison right now, or ever really, no matter how good you are."

"Then I want her up here," he said firmly.

"We have to wait until she's stable. Fortunately for you, it seems that when they found her she kept muttering your name. They found it significant enough to tell me and ask if Addison knew a Derek . . . so getting her up here shouldn't be too difficult. We can call them again later, once she's out of surgery."

Derek grinned widely and hugged Bailey. Her mouth fell open but after a minute she gently patted his back a few times.

Adrenaline was being pumped through his system with fervor. The rape thing still made him feel a little sick, as well as the laundry list of injuries. But Addison wasn't lost. As long as she was alive, she could heal. He could heal her.

He ran through the hospital, nearly skipping, his eyes watering as the sun filtered in through the windows. A new beginning, a second chance. That was what he was getting, and to Derek it was like he was a completely new person. He felt like singing, but he hummed instead, just various melodies from songs he had no names for.

When he couldn't remember anymore, he took to yelling. He knew his behavior was uncharacteristic, but at the moment, nothing mattered other than that Addison was alive.

"She's alive. She's alive. She's alive. She's alive," he said loudly, happily, for everyone to hear. He needed to find his daughter and tell her that her mother was coming. He needed to see Mark, Richard, call his mother, sisters, Archer, even Bizzy.

"Derek?" Preston asked, grabbing his arm. "What are you doing?"

"She's alive," was all he could say. "Addison, she's alive." His sometime-rival's face broke into a wide smile.

"That's great, Shepherd. Seriously."

"She's in San Diego right now, but when she's stable we're going to have her Life Flighted up here. Dr. Burke . . . Preston, if there's anything wrong with her heart, will you be the one to operate?"

"Of course. Is she alright?" he asked in a concerned tone.

Derek sat down in his favorite spot on the overpass, and Burke sat next to him. "She's got a lot of injuries . . . internal bleeding, broken bones ... and she was ... raped." His voice broke on that word.

"I'm sorry, Derek. But at least she's alive."

"Yeah, she's alive," he said, still wonderingly. "And I'm never letting her go again."

"You still love her," Burke stated. It was not a question, just speaking a truth out loud.

"Yeah. I have a lot to make up for, but I'm going to do it, whatever it takes."

Burke nodded thoughtfully. "You and Addison were always sort of meant to be together. If you're removed from the situation, not like you or Meredith or Addison or Richard or Mark or even Cristina, but like me, you'd be able to see that. You're meant to be, and you're getting another chance, but Derek . . . you're in for the fight of your life."

"I know I am," Derek said with another grin, "But somehow, I don't mind. I'm going to appreciate every moment of it, just being with her. Even if she doesn't want me there. Even if she hates me. And now," he heaved himself up off the floor, "I need to go tell my daughter that her mother is coming back." Burke nodded as he watched Derek walk off.

Devony had been with Richard, but he was in surgery, and Patricia told him that Mark now had her. Derek found them playing with Callie in a lounge on the surgical floor. They both looked up when he approached; Mark sad, Devony hopeful, and Callie sympathetic.

"Devony, Daddy has something to tell you," Derek said, kneeling and taking her hands. Her blue eyes met his solemnly. "Your mother is coming back soon."

Devony stared at Derek, her expression becoming more and more delightedly surprised by the second. She looked more excited than she had on Christmas morning. "Mommy's coming back!" she yelled. Several of the other families turned to stare at them, at smiling Devony and crying Derek.

"Yeah, baby, she's okay. She's coming," Derek said, hugging her tightly.

"Addison is alive – she's okay?" Mark asked quickly.

Derek nodded at his friend. They exchanged a silent look of relief that said more than they could have with words. He was surrounded for the next few minutes by various staff members coming to congratulate him, Devony, and Mark. It still felt unreal, but it was in a good, on top of the world way. The road ahead was long and winding, but Derek would walk it gladly.

Eight hours later, he joined Bailey while she made the call to the hospital in San Diego. Addison' s initial surgeries had gone well, and she was stable.

Bailey was explaining the situation to them. "I'm sure you've taken great care of Addison Montgomery, but we have one of the best hospitals in the country, and the best neurosurgeon and cardiothoracic surgeon in the world." She listened for a minute.

"Tell them her husband and child are up here," Derek whispered to her.

She raised an eyebrow at the word 'husband' but did as he said. "Yes, his name is Derek. Is she still saying that? Okay. Alright."

"What's happening?" Derek asked desperately after several minutes. Bailey only handed him the phone.

All he could hear was the sound of a helicopter taking off.


~ Meredith ~

"It's over," Meredith said to Cristina. "It's over between me and Derek."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "It's never over between you two."

"No, it is, this time. You should have seen the look on his face when they told him Addison was going to be okay. He's never truly been mine, and I didn't realize that until now."

"Now?" Cristina asked, her voice gentler.

"He's trying to get Addison flown up here, and when he was talking about her he said he was her husband. Her husband, Cristina. They've been divorced for four years and he still accidentally refers to them as husband and wife."

"I'm sorry, Mer."

"I know. I'm not even – I knew this was coming. We've been having problems. No . . . I think I knew the minute I saw Devony standing on that chair in the gallery and realized she was Derek's. That's when I knew my claim was void."


You didn't really think I would kill Addison, did you? I had to make it dramatic, but of course she was never going to die. That would be like super-angst, and I'm a happy ending kind of person. After a bit of angst, of course. And if she was dead, there would be no Addek, which would make me a liar, cuz I did promise Addek :D
I must say, I super-like the helicopter line near the end. Not to compliment my own work or anything.
So, what did you think? I would love to anything you have to say! Other than that ... I think that's all. Until next time :)