Chapter
3.
'Maybe
I should call Moira', Stevie let out. Jaz looked up to her words,
trying the rub the soap all around her friend's finger. 'Maybe
it's a sign.'
Regan shook her head; 'come on Steves, it's just stuck. Don't worry about that. Besides that, no way, you can reach Moira at this hour. It's probably in the middle of the night in Argentina anyway.'
'Right', Stevie muttered, feeling how her hand now dissapeared under the water tap. Looking at the ring, splashed with water, she took a deep breath. What if it was a sign; that she wasn't ready yet, or Russ wasn't the one to fulfill the aching missing feeling inside of her?
'And it's not like Russ will mind you wearing your wedding ring, he will understand'.
***
There she stood, unsure, waiting for Russ to park his car. Still her mind held many doubt. Her wedding ring was still around her finger. She could almost feel it burn, constantly asking her for attention. She had said it; 'maybe I shouldn't go'. But the girls had changed her mind, and Russ had picked her up earlier than expected. He walked up to her with a soft smile. 'We better get inside.'
Okay, the Gungellan pub was just as typical as always. Which made her feel uncomfortable, sensing eyes on her; Stevie Hall is dating the vet, not the short blonde female one obviously. She took a swig of her beer, more than she intended to, but beer maybe could ease her mind a bit. Suddenly she noted Russ' gaze fell onto her hand which made her hold her breath shortly before swallowing. 'The girls found it again', she answered his gaze lifting her hand softly to show.
'Lucky', Russ just spoke and Stevie could feel an odd tension between them. Just shortly, but something she had expected.
'I tried it on, it got stuck', she added, to be sure this wasn't a statement of showing she was still that married woman. She was a widow. God, how much she hated that word. He threw her a smile, silent now. At times he wasn't that much of a talker after all. 'Have you ever been married?', she suddenly asked, wondering why that specific question came into mind and that she didn't know the answer just yet. Not that they had any serious talking done over the last months. She moved her head a bit unsure, quickly running her teeth over her bottom lip.
Maybe she had asked too much, she wondered, rubbing her hand along the back of her neck, watching how he hesitated for a moment taking a swig of his beer. 'Never', Russ answered, weakly shrugging her shoulders.
'Not even Olivia's mum?', she asked curious and quite suprised at the same time. How come a great guy like Russ had never been married? Oh dear, did she now need to tell him about Jared? That she even had been married twice? Uncomfortable she shifted on her seat, more occupied with her last thought than with the answer to her previous question.
'No, things didn't work out between us. We parted when Olivia was one year old. Stayed friends though. Well you have to having a daughter together, but we mostly focused on raising her and I tried to study to become a vet, so a wedding never happened', he smiled friendly, explaining.
'Yeah ...', she muttered. 'I've been married before Alex', Stevie just pressed out, feeling herself move more and more unsteady on her seat. How come it was so hard to tell him about her past? Luckily he already had seen Rose, and knew it was her daughter. Rose and Olivia quite got along on Xander's birthday party too.
'With Rose's father?', Russ asked the obvious question, which Stevie completely hadn't expected though.
'Uhm no', she shook her head, her hand resting again in the curve of her neck. She pressed out a smile; 'I was young, he didn't even know I was pregnant.' She saw that look in his eyes, he was thinking or so, or making a weak judgement. 'I know, no smart moves'.
Russ instantly protested; 'oh no, I don't mean ... I mean, I don't know what all happened back than. Don't feel like you need to tell me. Tell if you want though'. He was searching for words to make this conversation a bit better, easier. Stevie's mind suddenly wished for days outside, just hanging together on an overnight muster, or trying to catch a wild dog. Moments that were easy to talk, only to a different man. Not that much chance for moments like that with Russ. The Gungellan Pub wasn't exactly the place she wanted to share the story of her life.
Her eyes wondered through the pub, supporting her thoughts. Her eyes suddenly wide, than blinking, as a vision of a tall man in the back appeared. Dropping her bottle of beer to the table, Russ' hand suddenly shove over hers, making her blink once more, looking at it. 'I'm sorry', he said, her eyes searching back towards the back of the pub; not seeing that man. 'If I push you, I mean, we can just talk about ...'
With a dazzled gaze she looked at him, lowering towards their hands. She pulled it back slowly. 'It's okay', she pressed out a smile, before glancing at the shiny ring on her finger.
Russ noticed it, but missed another stare towards the back. 'We can just hang out as friends, nothing more. If you aren't ready.' He stared at the ring on her finger; obviously she wasn't ready for more. But he was clearly interested. Stevie swallowed.
'No really, it got stuck on my finger. I'm not intending to wear it', she spoke.
He showed a comforting smile; 'you can wear it, it's okay. It says a lot about you.' Stevie felt her heart beat easen again, as she sighed, and gave him a short careful smile.
'Maybe', she just said. Trying to get her mind into order, to not pay attention to some strange vision. 'But still I wonder why a man like you has never been married.'
Russ grinned; 'well maybe I'm not so easy to be with after all. I don't know, timing, career. It just never happened.' She pressed out a smile, their eyes meeting for a moment to hold a gaze. 'Never met that special one I guess. But who knows what the future holds hey', he spoke softly.
'Yeah', it softly sounded, and she needed to confess he had pretty light eyes, holding a color that made her swallow. Damn, he was a good man. Holding something so balanced in his ways; soft but strong. Some one you could depend on, some one who would understand. Stevie blinked; 'you mind if I pay a quick visit to the ladies room?', added with a pointing gesture towards the toilettes.
'Of course not.'
***
Stevie tugged at the ring; 'come on, why don't you come off?'. The water run over her fingers again. A final attempt failed and she looked up into the mirror. What's wrong? Why don't you let me go?
Or was she messing with her own mind; just thinking she had seen him. Right there; in the back of the pub; tall, dark. But just for a second and he was gone. It wasn't him, of course not.
It's just your imagination.
This ring is fooling with your mind.
