Author Note:
Hi everyone! Thank you for the reviews and follows. Those notifications make my heart flutter :D
This case, and the Hotch/Abigail relationship development that occurs during it, will be split into two chapters. I know people enjoy long chapters (thank you for that feedback, cm509!) but this one would really of been pushing the limits, I think :p
It was a Sunday night and Abigail was at a bar with Emily, JJ and Garcia. They'd had regular girls nights since Abigail had joined the team: a habit she'd really come to enjoy.
"Come on sweet cheeks, you're telling me that there isn't one specimen of manhood in this entire establishment fine enough to spark any sort of carnal desire?" Penelope asked. They'd gotten onto the subject of dating and Abigail was in the hot seat.
"I told you I'm just not really into casual dating. I tend to… fall into relationships with people I know and already like. I don't want to go through the stress of meeting someone in a bar and the anxiety provoking-experience of going out on a date with them only to realize that we have nothing in common."
Abigail took another sip of her drink and JJ took up Garcia's cause.
"So who are you waiting to fall into a relationship with? Reid? Morgan?"
"Hey!" Garcia snapped, possessively. JJ continued.
"Rossi? Hotch?"
Abigail became uncomfortable at the mention of Hotch's name. She'd started to really care about Him during her time with the BAU, and she'd admitted to herself that she found him attractive, but she knew it would never be more than that. The best she could hope for was friends, and Hotch's closed-off demeanor made even that seem unlikely sometimes.
"Of course not!" Abigail responded, maybe a little too late.
The girls looked at each other and Abigail noticed.
"What?"
"Nothing." JJ smiled, shaking her head.
"I'm going to go and get another drink. Anyone want anything?" Emily asked.
"Another margarita please, Angel." Garcia replied.
Not long after, Emily returned with a guy in tow. He was attractive. Tall, tan, tattoos covering his muscular forearms. He smiled at Abigail as he approached the table, looking nervous. Oh no, Abigail thought.
"Abby, this is Julian. He's 32, a firefighter, and wants to know if you're free tomorrow night." Emily looked very pleased with herself. Abigail was stunned and realized that her mouth was hanging open.
"I'm sorry, I just saw you from the bar and you're really beautiful and your friend says that you're great," Julian said earnestly, hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched around his ears with self-conscious tension.
He seemed nervous and very sweet, and Abigail didn't want to embarrass him in front of three other women. She noticed that Garcia had pulled out a pen and paper and was writing something down.
"Julian, here is Abigail's number. She's shy but I'm sure she'd love to go out with you. If not I have a very long list of female acquaintances who'd snap you up like the last chocolate donut in the bakery."
Julian smiled and Abigail relented. Why not? It wasn't like she had anyone else interested. Maybe JJ was right, was she ever going to meet someone just waiting? If she changed her mind she could always cancel.
"Tomorrow should be fine, Julian. Just give me a call later and we'll set something up, OK?" Julian left, looking pleased. Abigail turned attention back to her co-workers.
"I hate you guys."
The next morning Abigail had barely sat down with her coffee when Hotch summoned the agents to the round-table room. She groaned, not hungover, just tired and dreading the date she'd been peer-pressured into. Julian had called her later than night. They'd chatted and agreed to meet for dinner.
"We have a case in San Antonio, Texas. A little girl, Marie Howlett, went missing from outside of her school this morning. Her brother, Toby, walked her to school and was meant to escort her inside but left her on the sidewalk. He was planning on cutting school and got picked up by friends."
"How old is the bother?" Abigail asked.
"Fifteen. We'll need you along for this one, Rhodes." Hotch answered. Abigail nodded.
"Have there been any other abductions recently?" JJ asked.
"None - the parents are also together and there's no family conflict that suggests that it might be custody or revenge motivated," Hotch responded.
"So it's likely a predator whose behavior has recently escalated to abduction in response to a stressor," said Reid. Hotch nodded and continued.
"I'd say so. We'll discuss it more on the plane, she's been missing for three hours so we're getting involved early but I want to be in the air as soon as possible."
Abigail carried a second cup of to-go coffee onto the jet and sat down opposite Reid, Emily joining them soon after and immediately pointing a finger at Abigail.
"Don't you dare cancel that date yet, we could still be back in time."
Hotch and Rossi, already on the plane, looked up.
"Date?" Spencer asked.
Abigail started to say something but Emily interrupted.
"Yes, with a gorgeous firefighter."
Abigail felt her face burning, and thought she sensed Hotch watching her.
"Can we not talk about this, please?" Abigail, pleaded.
"Talk about what?" asked JJ, joining the team.
"Julian," Emily answered.
"Ohhhh, the hunky firefighter," said JJ.
Hotch, seeing Abigail look uncomfortable and feeling himself losing patience, interrupted.
"Can we talk about the little girl that's missing and perhaps work on a profile?"
It came out harsher than he'd meant it. He saw Abigail hang her head, obviously embarrassed, and immediately felt guilty. He wasn't sure why but hearing Emily and JJ discuss Abigail's date had made his tolerance thin. Reid, desperate to break the tension, delivered a profile. Abigail read through the notes on the victim but was having trouble concentrating. She was dreading the date, and wishing that Emily hadn't brought it up. She listened to the agents discuss the profile and stayed quiet until the jet landed in San Antonio.
When the jet landed the agents splintered off. Reid and Morgan headed to the school, and Emily and JJ stayed at the station looking through police records. Rossi, Hotch and Abigail headed to interview the family. Rossi and Hotch sat with the parents and Abigail talked with Toby alone.
Toby was a shy, brooding kid. As Abigail introduced herself and followed him into his bedroom she noted his dark clothes and long sleeves despite the Texas weather, his reluctance to maintain eye contact, and scrapes covering his knuckles. She sat across from him in his bedroom. He sat on his bed leaning against the wall, legs stretched out in front of his, dirty sneakers marking the comforter. Abigail watched him from his desk chair across the room.
"Can you tell me about that afternoon, Toby?"
"I told the cops everything."
"I know, but I think it's more helpful to hear it directly from you. Some things can get lost in translation and I'd hate to miss something important."
She tried to be as warm as possible, and attempted to make him realize how important he was to the investigation.
"I'm pretty useless, I don't think I can help yo," he said quietly, tugging at the sleeves of his shirt.
Abigail felt her chest tighten - she hated hearing kids talk about themselves that way.
"What makes you say that?"
Toby shrugged.
"You know Toby, 'useless' isn't really a word that kids use to describe themselves. Not even when they're depressed and feeling particularly bad about themselves."
Toby's eyes picked up in response to the word 'depression'. Abigail carried on.
"'Useless tends to be a word that adults use to describe kids when they're being particularly critical."
Toby looked uncomfortable. Abigail made an educated guess.
"Your dad? You think he blames you?" Toby nodded. Abigail noticed his eyes well up.
"It's my fault that Marie is missing."
"It's not your fault, Toby."
"It is. If I hadn't of been cutting class like a total fuck-up I would of walked her inside instead of leaving her on the curb and she wouldn't be missing."
Hotch approached Toby's bedroom and paused at the words 'fuck up'. He hung back, listening to Abigail's conversation.
"Toby look at me." Abigail's voice was tender but firm in a way that it usually wasn't. Hotch carried on listening.
"Sometimes people say things that aren't true when they're upset. Sometimes when they're feeling guilty or responsible they can criticize others to try and ease their own pain. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Silence. Hotch assumed that Toby was nodding.
"Toby, when you're experiencing something like depression or anxiety your perception of yourself tends to be very negatively skewed. You feel bad about yourself, and that makes it really easy to feel guilty about things that might not be your fault. Does that sound familiar?"
This piqued Hotch's interest and he listened closer. The way Abigail spoke made it sound as though she was speaking from a place of personal experience, rather than just professional opinion.
"My counsellor tells me stuff like that all the time."
"You have a counsellor? You talk to him about your family and your Dad?"
"Yeh, Chris. I talk to him about my parents. How they blame me for a lot of things. I always feel guilty because my parents argue about me and I think that must be really hard on Marie, like maybe she doesn't really get enough attention. He says that it's not my fault and that he knows I'm a good kid. He tells me I can always talk to him, even when my parents are being assholes."
Hotch pulled back and walked downstairs as he heard Abigail asking Toby more questions about the afternoon Marie went missing.
"How's she doing?" Rossi asked when Hotch arrived at the bottom of the stairs. The parents were in their living room, done with questioning, and Rossi was waiting to speak with Hotch next to the front door.
"It sounds like she's still talking with him."
"Are you OK?" Rossi asked Hotch.
"Of course, why?" Hotch tried to give Rossi a look that would dissuade him from pushing the subject further.
"You seemed a little irritable this morning, on the plane."
Hotch didn't say anything.
"Something to do with Abigail's date, maybe?"
"Why would I be irritable about that? Of course not."
Rossi shrugged.
"OK, my mistake."
Hotch wanted to ask about Strauss mentioning that Dave had suggested Abigail for the BAU placement, but at that moment Abigail appeared from the staircase putting an end to the conversation, and the agents left to reconvene with others at the station.
