Chapter 6.
Stevie bend quietly over the little crib of her baby boy. Xander was sound asleep, no doubt about that. He already was a tight sleeper like his dad had been. Rather quiet during the night, luckily, sleeping through most nights, or at least till 5 o'clock. She felt the need to hold him, lift him out of his bed to just have him in her arms. The suiting comfort of her son, their son.

At times it gave her strength, at times it made her sad and quiet, scared to know he only had one parent left. What if anything would happen to her? Where would it leave him? But she had always swept that scary thought quickly away, knowing there were many here that loved him like he was their true family, and of course there were Ben and Marcus who were keen on making Xander a real boy, a man, just like his dad had been. Both reminding her at times of Alex, their ways were some times similar. Surely Ben who, although a few days after Xander's birthday, couldn't resist placing that big beer can in front of Xander's tree house. Stevie grinned at the memory of Jaz and Ben having their whiny moment that made them rather typical.

She softly let her fingers brush over her son's cheek. 'You sleepy head, not even waiting for mommy to get back home hey'.

It made her rather unsure, now realizing there wasn't that much of a resemblance between Russ and Alex. Of course Russ was a great guy, but he didn't have much of a cheeky sense of humor, or typical tough male ways. He was Russ, just Russ; reliable, manly, but friendly. Pretty much a thinker she guessed, not that much of one that would jump before thinking. He probably had thought about them a lot, maybe even planned on kissing her that night. Suddenly she shrugged, just noting he had more similarities with Nick.

Sighing she brushed her hand up her forehead, walking towards the bed and letting herself sit down. That framed picture seemed to stare at her, catching her attention. 'What am I about to do Alex?', she muttered, sliding under the covers a moment later. Her fingers slid towards her right hand, feeling her wedding ring still tightly around it. No movement possible; stuck. 'Gah', she muttered, turning around and pressing her face into her pillow, out of frustration.

***

The next morning Regan bumped into a half naked Ben making his way out of the bathroom, all showered and with a massive grin on his face. 'Uhm good morning I suspect'.

'Good? It's a brilliant morning today Regan', he smirked, walking past her, even turning around to show more of his cheeky smile while he brushed a towel through his wet hair. She let her eyes for a moment fall onto his muscular hairy upper body. Even caught herself staring, which he clearly noticed, making him even grin more, for as far as that was possible. He turned around walking further towards Jaz' bed room.

Regan felt her cheeks blush. God, pathetic, checking out your sister's boyfriend. The clear sign she needed a man.

***

Pleased Ben closed the door. 'Funny', he stated, pointing back, seeing his girlfriend sit on the edge of her bed, brushing her blonde hair.

'What?', she asked with a gently smile, looking sideways at him.

'Your sister. I would swear she just was checking me out', Ben exclaimed, flashing a massive smile towards her. He grabbed his shirt of the nearby chair.

Jaz frowned; 'what? Grace?'

'No, Regan'.

'You bumped into Regan? Like that? God, she must think we had sex', Jaz muttered, willing to burry her face in her hands and to hide in her room for the rest of the day. Ben looked at her amused, sitting down next to her and patting her on the knee.

'Oh yeah that must be like the worst thing ever right? Us having sex'. She felt him pinch her knee now, rather tender. Looking aside she saw two eye brows wiggling at her, a broad smile underneath, brown twinkling eyes gazing at her suggestively.

'We better take it step by step Ben', she told him, not able to hold back her amusement. Typical man, typical Ben. She patted him back on his knee. 'Do remember like a week ago you still were half in a relationship with someone you once wanted to marry.'

'Right', he breathed out, weakly disappointed. Ben moved closer and pressed his lips onto her cheek. 'I love spending the night with you anyway, slept like a baby.'

Jaz now smiled at him, remembering the past night; 'as far as I know Ben, babies don't snore like that'.

Grace, Regan and Jaz had left early; ready to muster the cattle and to check the fences of the boundary paddock. Jodi had woken from Xander's crying and had picked up the little boy quickly, sneaking into Stevie's room. Obviously mom was way far gone into dreamland and didn't note her son's crying.

Holding Xander against her chest she swayed the boy quiet. 'You've been sleeping a long time, haven't you?', she softly spoke to him, enjoying it. It prepared her for her own baby to come. And Xander was surely good practice. Big blue eyes gazed at her, recovering from a cry. 'I smell you need a new nappie hey. Let's get you one so you mommy can sleep some more.'