Chapter 20.
Stevie bit her lip, holding the phone which still rested down. She stared at the ring around her finger and wondered what it all meant. It was too much coincidence in a short time, wasn't it? The rings, 'seeing' Alex in the pub and now Xander calling his daddy. She never had been a believer, but since Moira had moved in she couldn't deny some things happened for a reason and it seemed there was more that what meets the eye. And although she would deny it, deep inside she wished it was true, that Alex was trying to find his way back to her.
Breathing in deeply she lifted the phone up in her hand, guiding it to her ear. It was still early in Argentina, but she couldn't wait much longer. Patiently she waited for Moira to pick up, her heart beating a little faster. 'Moira', Stevie breathed out relieved, instantly feeling a smile creep up her face.
'Stevie? Is everything okay? It's early?", Moira mumbled a bit sleepy.
'Sorry …', Stevie swallowed; 'sorry if I woke you, I just, I just need to talk and well ..', she searched for words.
Moira smiled softly. It wasn't bad to know your friend still needed you even when you were on the other side of the world. 'Okay, let me get my robe and we'll talk further. Otherwise Phil will wake up.' She grinned, looking at the man behind her. All up in his dreamland, snoring loudly and no idea she was on the phone with someone.
A minute later she seated in the small kitchen of their holiday cottage. 'So tell me, what's up?' Moira waited for her coffee to be made.
'It's just … things are happening and I don't know how to feel, what to think. I just wish you were here', it sounded a little desperate. Again Stevie felt her heart tremble. At times she felt more alone than ever, even with the girls around. They weren't in her position, they didn't know how she felt, and it wasn't something she would hold against them.
'Okay, just tell me, Phil won't arouse in the next upcoming hours anyway'. She heard Stevie apologize again, but quickly she had talked against it and made her friend would tell what she really wanted to tell.
Stevie breathed in, and stared out of the window again. 'I don't know what to feel anymore, a part of me wants to move on, another part doesn't wanna neglect the signs, or whatever they seem to be.'
'What signs?', Moira asked instantly, getting curious now, taking her quick steps towards the kitchen counter to pour her a cup of coffee.
She glanced towards the ring on her finger; 'Regan found my wedding ring and I put it on and since than its stuck. I can't get it off. I tried everything, and the other night at the pub, I thought I saw him, I thought I saw Alex, and this morning when Matt arrived I … I held Xander, watching them on the veranda, and …', she barely could get it out. Already feeling the same emotions crush her heart. 'He said dada, Xander …'
'Owww Stevie', Moira replied, feeling compassion. She wished she could hug her friend, knowing Stevie was now overtaken by tears.
Brushing them away she breathed in deeply; 'he never said daddy.' She had always wonder when that moment would come. Months ago the big moment had happened that he had called her mama. And she had cried, happiness, but a certain sadness too when weeks went by and she realized more and more her son, this little boy didn't know his father, and never would. At times she had seated on her bed and showed Xander pictures of his father, but it was all she could do.
'So I dunno …', she muttered; 'does it mean something? Can you see something?' Stevie knew it didn't really work like that, but it was all she wanted to know.
Moira sat down again. 'I can't say anything about that. But you have to trust your intuition Stevie.' She wished she could say more, something that satisfied that doubting ache in her friend's heart.
'Maybe he's still around', Stevie mumbled. 'Maybe he doesn't want me to be with Russ'.
'He would want you to be happy, Stevie. The question you should answer is are you happy with Russ. Do you believe he can make you happy? If you are ready. You don't have to push yourself, you know that, don't you?', Moira asked.
Stevie thought; wasn't she supposed to move on by now, wasn't she supposed to be sure she would get happy, not even for herself, but surely for Xander. He didn't need a mother who fell asleep at night with tears in her eyes. 'Maybe', she mumbled.
