A/N: TW: rape mentions, drug use, and mild language
I had to pee so much today. I was yawning constantly. And I really wanted a baby tot with Ice cream and a pickle. I trudged to the park. I was not looking forward to this.
I plopped on the first I found near the frisbee field. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.
"AMBER!" I heard Andi scream. I popped an eye open and I saw Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, and Jonah. They all sat in front of me on the grass.
"Can I get you anything?" Buffy asked me. I smirked.
"Bufffyyyy: Would you please get me baby taters, strawberry ice cream, and a pickle. Pleassseeeee!" I said.
"Really Sap? The people there will think I'm pregnant!" she grumbled. I glared at her.
"Oh shit! I'm sorry, Sap. I'm so sorry," she said blushing, getting up and muttering. Cyrus got up and dashed after her.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
WITH BUFFY AND CYRUS
"You ok, Buffy?" Cyrus asked looking over at his friend who had a steely gaze.
"No, I'm not," she huffed, crossing her arms.
"Why? What's wrong?" He shot back.
"I'm scared for Amber. And…" she said, trailing off and looking around.
"And what?" Cyrus asked his dark skinned companion.
"It's complicated," she said, rather glumly, if Cyrus could add.
"My life is complicated. Try me," he responded.
"You wouldn't understand," she said, blinking fast now.
"Maybe I would," he countered, wrapping an arm around her in a half-hearted hug.
"I just want something,"she said, making 'something' enunciated, and though she said nothing specific, Cyrus knew exactly what she meant.
"Everything worth having, is worth waiting for," he quoted and she whirled around, glaring at him. "I'm just saying give it time," he assured her, turning her body and pushing her into the Spoon.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
WITH AMBER, JONAH, AND ANDI
"My mom went a few towns over and bought these tests for you. She said she knows what you're going through," Andi told me, handing over a brown bag. There where six bright boxes inside, either pink, blue or purple. Each one more obnoxious, louder and 'happier' than the last. Each one had a happy lady or couple on it, but I was only terrified.
"Tell her thank you," I said shakily. The sight of the tests brought a new sense of doom and dread.
"Would you like me to wait 'til everyone get here for me to tell you what happened?" Jonah asked me. I nodded waiting for Buffy and Cyrus to show up. When I saw her, I mean them, enter the gates I started grinning like an idiot. I felt the familiar pang in my stomach and flutter in my heart. Ugh, this was such a hard life.
Buffy put the bag next to me and sat back down on the grass. I ate my food silently for a while before Buffy finally spoke up.
"Amber, are you ok?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. This is when I noticed the burning in my throat, the sourness in my mouth and the hand I had placed on my chest to try and stop it. I groaned.
"Heartburn," I said, rubbing my eyes.
"Test time?" Andi asked, to happy for this situation.
"Sure," I said, standing up and walking to the park restrooms. We invaded the largest stall. Buffy and Andi pulled all the tests out and unpackaged them. Buffy had pursed lips and a frown etched into her features that made me feel even worse about this.
"All you do is pee on the stick and wait and then read the sticks," Andi said, still chipper. While Buffy seemed to be seething silently.
I peed on an assortment of bright sticks and waited, rocking back and forth. Ball, heel. Ball, heel. Ball, heel. Ball, heel. Ball, heel. Ball, heel. Repeatedly. What feels like seconds later, Andi checks her phone.
"It should be fine now," she said. Flipping each test.
"Positive, positive, positive, undecided, positive, positive and undecided is now positive," Buffy recited, voice getting tighter with each positive she read off.
"Bloody brilliant," I mumbled.
"Oh Amber," Andi said, putting a hand on my shoulder. That's when I lost it. I couldn't stop the tears. I simply cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. Thoughts of my future slipping away. College. Ivy league. A good job. A wedding. A real family. A baby made from love. An easy, dreamt up life… gone. In an instant. All of it gone. I wasn't going to be able to go to college. I'd have to work at bloody McDonalds. I can't do this. I cried harder. My shoulders were shaking violently. I didn't want this. I wanted...well, that didn't matter anymore. I have a baby to love now. That is all that mattered now. Buffy stood suddenly, unlocking the door and running out. The door slammed closed behind her.
"Buffy. Buffy? Buffy!" I screamed, but she wasn't in my range of vision. I dropped my head and walked back to where Cyrus and Jonah where waiting. I sat on the bench trying to keep it together. Andi came up behind me a few seconds later and sat down beside Cyrus. A few minutes later Buffy came back.
"Who did this to you? Jonah? I'll beat him up," she announced, clearly just back from a run.
"Time?" Jonah asked. I nodded.
"Amber, when do you normally get your cycle?" he asked cooly.
"Normally the sixteenth through the twenty first," I answered, I really couldn't see where this was going and it bothered me a little.
"Right, so around the twenty-third you would be ovulating," he shuddered, "and remember how you went to that party two months ago on the twenty third and you fell asleep there?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding. I didn't remember doing the deed.
"Well you didn't fall asleep. Bryce gave you a cup of cola, in a cup. So, it was ya know, open. But neither me nor you at the time knew it was drugged. So after a few minutes I saw you asleep, with your head resting on Blake's shoulder.
"Then I saw Bryce carry you upstairs, and I didn't think anything of it. Since it was his house and you guys have been friends for like ever. But he never came down and I still thought nothing of it. But when he did he smugly told me you might need me now. When I went upstairs you were crying, there was...fluids and blood on your legs. I gave you advil and cleaned you up.
"I left you there while I went a confronted Bryce. He said it was a drug he created. Knock you out, you'll wake up during the assault but forget it all after. I was horrified. I somehow got you to my house and my mom made sure the bleeding was nothing bad. But I researched everything I could on pregnancies. And I hoped it wouldn't happen, but I guess I just had boyfriend's intuition," he said, shaking his head
"Fuck Bryce," Buffy said.
"Buffy," Cyrus warned.
"I'm only fifteen," I said quietly.
"Not every thirteen year old knows a rape victim," Andi said, and I cringed at that word. I saw Buffy giving her a side eye and had to bite back my laugh.
"You should file a report," Cyrus said, continuing to ignore my cringing.
"A baby," I said.
"It's real," Jonah said. I let a few silent tears drip down my face.
"Oh, Sap," Buffy said, moving to rub circles on my back. More tears streamed down the face. I sighed, why was life so complicated.
"I cannot believe it was Bryce. I knew I was pretty, I knew I would be a target. But, wow, I never thought it would really happen. And Bryce! I have known him forever and he's never been, a player, like that. In all these twelve something years," I said.
"Puberty changes people," Cyrus stated.
"Thanks," I said, drawing it out sarcastically and finishing it with an eye roll.
We fell silent for a bit. Thoughts rolling through all our heads. Adoption… abortion… keeping it… pulling a Bex, but Mum would never do that. So that left us with adoption… abortion… and parenthood. Mum was unmarried and unstable when she had me. Getting the abortion would have been easiest. She could have had a better, different life. But no, she gave me a life. She could have given me up but she chose to keep me and give up her tedious training and workouts and dieting to be a Victoria's Secret model. But she kept me and now is a very successful realtor.
But I have a harder choice. Keeping the baby and struggling through high school and college and life. Or giving it up and having any life I can imagine. Now, I just have to tell Mum, Jade, J.P., Principal Jhon, Bex, and oh, yeah, Bryce. And I have to make a life altering choice. Maybe I can just put of telling them forever.
"Boy or girl?" Andi asked.
"Girl, duh," I said, recalling stories of my Mum's pregnancies.
"Names?" Cyrus asked, I could tell he was trying not to sound excite for me.
"Ruby. duh, It's a tradition," I said, looking down to my legs, where soon a watermelon of a bump would be resting.
"There's more than just Jade and Amber?" Jonah asked, bringing up my sister. Now, that terrified me even more, Jade looked up to me and look how I was letting her down. 'Wait, no, this isn't your fault' I told myself firmly and then nodded to answer Jonah's question.
"Buffy? You here?" Andi asked, waving her hand in front our friends face. I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of another voice.
"Hmmm?" Buffy singsonged.
"Snap out of it?" Andi shouted making us all laugh, except for Buffy.
'"There's nothing to snap out of Andi," she snapped, her eyes hardening.
"I can name a few," Cyrus piped up, seeming to make his words smirk.
"Oh, you wanna go there?" Buffy challenged, cocking her head and angling he toned body towards Cyrus.
"Maybe some other time," he said, a smirk gracing his face this time.
Everyone grew quiet for a beat. "Baby," I finally uttered.
"Baby," everyone chorused back almost brainwashed.
"Wow," we all said then, which actually was pretty funny.
