A/N: TW: Miscarriage, Abortion, Selective termination
"Press one to accept the call. Press two to report the call and press three to decline the call," The Voice continued. I lowered the phone from my ear and pressed one.
"How the babies doing?" Bryce asked, his voice was so smug I wished I could punch it.
"Why do you think I'm pregnant?"
"Did you lose the babies?"
"Why do you keep assuming it's multiples?" I wanted to punch him in that moment for hurting me, for bringing Jasper and Eliza into a world where, although they were loved, wasn't quite ready for them yet.
"Who are you to keep answering my questions with questions?" he sneered.
"Who were you to rape me?"
Beep Beep.
"I'm running out of time, why did you report me?" The line went dead. I sucked in a breath and put the phone back.
Once I was upstairs I walked towards the door I wasn't supposed to open it. The door swung open revealing the freshly painted nursery. The matching cribs and rocking chair were huddled in the middle covered in plastic cloths. I pulled the cloth off the rocking chair and sat down in it. I used my foot to push the chair back and forth a little.
The paint smell burnt in my eyes making tears start to form. "Well since I'm going to cry already it looks like I might as well do this. Hey there Jasper and Eliza, it's mummy speaking. I just want you to know I'm trying to give you everything I can. We aren't going to have the easiest life but I won't give you anything less that the best I can. I promise babies," I said out loud to where the babies were incubating. I rubbed the top of my stomach lovingly, letting the tears fall freely of my face, down off my chin and off to my chest.
I was leaning back in the rocking chair trying to stop the tear flow, when my breath stopped coming easily. I tried to take a few deep breaths and when that didn't work, do a few terrible yoga poses. None of the other strategies that had worked for me before were working. I struggled to stand up and when I finally did, I was so short of breath I felt dizzy.
"Let's go get mummy some peppermint oil for her nose," I mumbled leaving the nursery and wandering to the bathroom by the stairs.
I opened the medicine cabinet and rummaged through the bottled to find the small essential oil jar. I found it in the very back and opened the jar. I got a drop on my finger and raised it to my nose, and as soon as I smelt it I got dizzy all over again.
"This can't be good," I said gently as the edges of my vision began to fade out and go black.
/||\\/||\\/||\\\
"Mrs and Ms Mack I assure you fainting and dizziness is completely normal in pregnancy especially with twins. Now, let's just check in with the babies in a quick ultrasound," the ER doctor said, standing up and walking to a cart to grab a pair of blue gloves.
I yawned and pulled up my sweatshirt over my stomach. The oxygen being given to me via tube was tickling my nose and the electrolytes they were pumping through an IV were making me sleepy.
The gel was cold per usual and the doctor's pursed lips had me a little concerned.
"What's wrong?" I asked drowsily.
"Nothing, nothing. Twins right?"
"Jasper and Marilyn," I mumbled, fighting off another yawn.
"Well then there's either another baby or Marilyn has four legs," the doctor said, trying to make a joke.
"Oh brother. Oh sister. Oh my fucking god," I said deliriously, right before falling asleep fight then and there.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
"You woke up," Bex said, from a chair by the hospital bed I was laying in.
"Yeah," I said yawning and trying to sit up. "What happened last night?"
"You don't remember?"
I shook my head.
"Well, the fainting didn't hurt the babies or you but… there might be a third baby," Bex said uncertainty.
"What?" I almost screamed. My hand were like magnets down to my growing abdomen, running over every inch of showing skin, every stretch mark, every bump; almost like they were trying to locate said third baby.
"The first ultrasound they gave you showed Marilyn having four legs, it looked like. So then a few hours later, while you were still sleeping they did another ultrasound and right under Marilyn was a very, very small other baby…" she informed, but trailed off at the end.
"What? What else?" I asked, panicked. I may not have asked for one baby, or two, or even three, but that didn't mean they weren't mine and that I didn't love them.
"The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. We don't know if the baby is alive, or in the worse case scenario, how long it's been dead," Bex said, her voice quite and sad.
My heart broke. I felt it shatter into a million and one pieces. My baby, well one of my babies, was gone, possibly gone, forever.
"Bexxxx," I wailed, trying not to cry, because if I did I was sure I would never stop. She took my hand in hers and smiled sadly at me.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
"Amber," Doctor snappy gloves said in such a morbid tone that I started crying. "We can't find her heartbeat anywhere, it is doubtful Baby C is alive, Amber. I know this is hard for you but is in Jasper and Marilyn's best interest to abort Baby C-"
"Amanda-" I cut her off.
She nodded and continued. "It will be best for Jasper and Marilyn to abort Amanda."
I cried for about forty-five minutes there with her before agreeing that if we could save the twins, that would be best.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
"Are you ready for this Miss Amber?" Dr Snappy Gloves - her names is actually Dr Olivia but really the gloves are her most memorable trait- asked me as she looked down at me.
I was once again in a hospital bed, IVs in, heart clips attached, blood pressure being measured, oxygen being given, and about to murder one of my babies. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"
"Yes, Amber, this increases Jasper and Marilyn's chances of being healthy in the rest of the pregnancy. You'll get you hold her when we remove her and we'll know of she was even alive in there," the doctor said somberly.
I nodded and took a deep breath and went under the anesthesia.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
"Amber? Amber? Wake up," the doctor said, tapping my shoulder gently.
"What happened?" I asked, my vision slowly coming back in. i kept yawning and coughing interchangeably.
"You went in and had-"
"No, no, no. Was she already dead? Did I kill her today?" I stumbled around my words, a little groggy still.
"You didn't kill her today, it looks like she died about a month and a half ago. Any day now your body would have started to go into labor to eject Amanda and put Jasper and Marilyn at risk," she explained.
"Oh thank god. I feel nine hundred times better," I exclaimed. "Wait that sounded wrong. I'm not glad she's gone, I'm just glad I didn't kill her."
Dr Olivia nodded and sat down on the foot of my bed. "Okay, there was risk in this procedure. I want you on strict bed rest for two weeks except to use the bathroom and take sitting baths. After that take it very easy till your next appointment and at any signs of bleeding get to the ER as soon as possible," she told me.
I nodded along and fought back more tears. If I kept crying at this rate I could start a bottled water company.
"It's ok to be sad, Amber, but your strong and will be the best mother to your twins."
I nodded and shed a few more tears before being helped into a wheelchair that took me to the car.
/||\\/||\\/||\\
Buffy, Andi, Bex, Jade and Mrs C sat around my room talking to me or simply keeping me company. Andi was great about making sure to get me anything I wanted to eat or drink, Jade made sure I was never too hot or cold and my back didn't start hurting. Buffy literally catered to my every whim and Bex and Mrs C just really kept to themselves.
"Are you excited to meet Jasper and Marilyn?" Jade asked a few hours later while we were watching the black and white movie, again, with Jonah and Cyrus. Yes the same one.
Tears jumped to my eyes. I shook my head. "I can't name them that anymore. It makes me think of Amanda too much," I admitted, even just hearing or saying the names brought up unbearable pain in my heart. "I can't do it."
"That's ok, Amber," Bex said. "You can name them whatever you want to, it's your choice. Your twins. Whatever you do, know it's the right choice."
"It's the right choice," I mumbled to myself just as the characters on TV started screaming.
'Come on, Lucille, your mom and brother need you over here,' one screamed.
'I can't, the river is too violent,' the other one yelled back.
'If you love them, you'll make it.'
'You're right I can cross a measly river for my family. Except the Hudson river isn't measly!'
Then it hit me. "I want to name them Hudson and Lucille."
"Yesss," Jonah and Cyrus simultaneously exclaimed. Celebrating that the twins names where from their favorite black and white movie.
A/N: this chapter was incredibly hard to write because, well… you know. I hope you liked the odd plot twist and all, but don't worry from here it's a mostly happy story. No more deaths. Also, I really don't how it feels to lose a child so I'll try to make AMber's greif real but I cannot guarantee anything. Sorry if this offends anyone.
