Thanks again for the reviews! They are much appreciated! As usual, I do not own Ashes to Ashes or its characters. My characters and plot are my own.
He was alone in the cell. Viv had been providing food from Luigi's for him, but it was by his side, untouched. The outlook wasn't bright. Chris, Ray, and Shaz had all been down to see him, and though they didn't say anything he knew. She was doing worse. Bolly, HIS Bolls, was fading away. Her life was seeping slowly out of the hole in her left side.
Her face wouldn't disappear from his head. He relived those awful moments on King Douglas Lane for the hundredth time. The shots had echoed around the courtyard, and he'd looked up. Instead of Jenette falling to the ground as he'd expected, it was her. "Bolly," he'd said. Her perfect hazel eyes were so full of shock and pain. She was falling to the ground. Struggling to breathe. Had time actually slowed down? This moment, this pain, was stretching for what seemed eternity. She was on the ground. Her head turned and she stared straight at him. Her eyes, a moment ago full of emotion, were unreadable. What was she thinking? Could she think? Did she blame him? As the questions swirled in his head, Chris, Ray and Shaz had run up to his side. Shaz and Ray had stopped for a moment staring at him. Her eyes closed. And it was all his fault.
**
He woke with a start. He'd been dreaming about her again. It had been 26 bloody years and still he could see her face clear as day. Most of all, he remembered her eyes. God, how he'd loved her eyes. They had always betrayed her, showing her every emotion. They were the first thing he had noticed about her, even though her dress just skimmed her arse and the neckline plunged into oblivion. "Bolly. My Bolly. My beautiful, perfect Bolls." It had been so long since he had seen her. And he would never see her again, because God would have never created something like that to go to hell. It had been 26 bloody years, and it was all his fault.
*
Alex looked at the house not sure if she wanted to go through this. It had been so long since she had seen Ray; would he actually remember her face? She got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Her hand shook as she rang the doorbell. It was answered by a young man, who could hardly have been more than twenty. He had brownish-blonde hair and his eyes were ice blue in colour. He looked like a young version of Ray. The young man looked at her quizzically, and said "Yes?"
"I'm looking for Ray Carling," she said, trying to keep the shake out of her voice.
"Just a moment." The door closed for a moment, and was opened again. "Come on in."
The young man led her into a sitting room where a man sat waiting in a wheelchair. As Alex walked in the man in the wheelchair's eyes grew wide. "Flamin' Nora! There's no way in 'ell…." His sentence dropped off. "Sorry, where are me manners? Can I get ya something to drink?"
"No thanks," said Alex, still unsure of herself.
"Sam, get me a cuppa tea." The young man nodded and exited. "Let me introduce meself, even though you seem to know who I am. I'm Ray Carling, former DI of Fenchurch East. And you are?"
The question was not intended to be rude. Alex could tell. He was simply still shocked by the fact that he'd seen a face from the past; a face long disappeared in the weave of time. Alex straightened herself, and told him the story she had made up earlier. "Right. Grandmother's name, mum's name, mum's maiden name." "My name is Isabella Caroline Wickham. I go by Bella. Alex Drake was my birth mother."
Ray looked shocked. "Spittin' image you are. Right down to the last detail. But why are you seeking me out?"
"I was adopted. I always wanted to find out who my birth mother was, but when I was finally able to investigate, I was told that she died and her name was Alex Drake. That is all I had to go on, but the other day I found that she had worked at Fenchurch East and got the names of her co-workers."
"Great woman," said Ray fondly. "She's the one who got me into psychology. So, didja jus' want to know what she was like as a person or what?"
"Yes, that would be marvellous."
"To tell you the truth, she always seemed a bit mad," Ray said. "But that was the way she'd work things out ya know? Always on about how great her psychology was. Course, at the time I thought it was jus' babble, but it did help 'er on all of 'er cases. She was better at solving things than the rest of CID combined together. She'd mention a daughter every once in a while, but would never give any details about 'er. Said she'd need to get back one day, and that night she'd be pissed as hell. She was a great copper, one of only a few I can say I was truly proud to work with."
Whatever Alex had expected to come out of Ray's mouth, it certainly wasn't that. She felt a lump in her throat. "Thank you," she managed.
"Did you find out about any of her other colleagues?" Ray asked.
"Just a little. I looked up the address for the Skelton's, but they are in Manchester and I couldn't travel all the way out there. And then I couldn't find an address for her DCI."
Ray looked at Alex with a great sadness in his eyes. "Best leave the DCI alone," he said quietly. "It'd be for the better." His voice was suddenly cheery again. "Are you sure you didn't want a cup of tea? I like talking to ya. It's almost like talking to yer mother again."
Alex accepted, and Ray called in his son again. "Bella, I'd like to introduce you to me son, Sam Carling. Named after my DI in Manchester. He was a great DI too."
Sending his son to make another cup of tea, Ray and Alex continued their conversation. Finally, she had to stop. "I'm sorry, I have to go. My daughter will be home from school soon, and if I'm not there, she'll panic."
"I understand love. Come over anytime you want to talk." Sam showed her the door, and she got in the car. She looked in the rear-view mirror at herself. The day had been a waste. She hadn't gotten any of the answers she needed.
"It was real…But I still can't go back. How can I change the past?"
TBC.
