Disclaimer: JKR is not me…sigh
Life For Rent
Chapter 4
"Merlin Hermione, you look like a swamp monster from a child's nightmare." Ginny said cheerfully as she yanked back the curtains in Hermione's room. "Late night?"
Hermione threw one arm over her eyes to block out the light streaming in her window. Her head ached and she felt groggy from all the crying she had done the night before. "Ugh, Gin. What are you doing here so early? And yes, I had a late night. David and I broke up because of that stupid law."
Hermione rolled back over and buried her face in her pillow. She didn't see how there could be anymore tears in her, but somehow they began to fall again. She just wanted to go back to sleep so she wouldn't have to feel anything for a few more hours. Ginny lay down next to her and took her friend in her arms.
"I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to upset you, I was just kidding you know. You never said you were going to tell David about the law last night. I figured you would wait a while longer." Ginny said stroking Hermione's hair.
Hermione rolled back over and lay on her back looking at her ceiling. "I was going to wait but I decided it wasn't fair to either of us to drag it out. It was awful. He said that he didn't even want kids in the first place, let alone kids that might be magical."
"Wow. That's kind of harsh. I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say. I hate seeing you so heartbroken. I never really took David as the type to not want kids, I mean; he is a teacher after all." Ginny repositioned herself on the bed next to Hermione so that she too was staring at the ceiling.
"He mentioned at some point that the kids he taught satisfied his familial duty."
Ginny rolled her eyes. Men. She spent a moment thanking her lucky stars that Harry was a half-blood so she had no problems with her situation in life. She felt terrible for Hermione though. Being a muggle-born was hard enough without having to go through this as well. Muggle-borns had to give up so much of who they were to be successful in the magical world. It hardly seemed fair.
Hermione wiped her eyes and sat up, squinting as she looked toward the window. "I have to move on. It's a blessing in disguise really. We both wanted different things in life and it's better to find that out sooner rather than later."
"You're being awfully positive about this." Ginny commented. "If it what was me I don't think I would be so quick to see the upside of the situation."
"I really loved him Ginny, if I had stayed with him and became even more attached it would have hurt a lot more to break up than it does now." Hermione said practically. "That doesn't mean I don't want to just slip into depression right now. My practicality is just self-preservation."
"Only you could be practical at a time like this."
Hermione stood up and stretched. She put on her slippers and padded out of her room to the kitchen for some coffee. "You still haven't told me why you're here so early."
"Oh, no reason, just haven't been able to hang out with you in awhile and Harry got called in to work." She said quickly. That wasn't entirely true but she wasn't sure Hermione would be able to take her news right then.
Hermione eyed Ginny suspiciously. She was clearly lying. All the Weasley's had a signature tell, shuffling feet or wandering eyes. Ginny had both right then. Hermione was surprised that Ginny was failing at lying right then because she was usually quite adequate at it. It must have been really important for Ginny to feel nervous about lying.
"Go ahead and spit it out Gin, I'm sure I can handle it." Hermione sat down at the table with two cups of coffee. Sliding one toward Ginny, she waited patiently for her to talk.
"Well, uh, Harry and I are officially engaged. We set a date for two months from now. I want you to be my maid of honor." Ginny said.
"Well that's not surprising. We all knew you were going to be getting married eventually." Hermione replied. "Still, best wishes and all that, and I can't wait. And of course, I will be you maid of honor."
"That's not quite all."
Hermione raised her eyebrows expectantly.
"I'm pregnant." Hermione was not expecting that.
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One week after Severus' date with Rita Skeeter he had his appointment with the Ministry's newly incorporated Department of Magical Matrimony. He spent the whole day answering question after question about his life. He answered the obvious questions such as how he liked his eggs (scrambled) and coffee (black). The most embarrassing questionnaire was the one regarding his sex life. Everybody at the Ministry knew who he was, and he imagined that some sodding ex-Hufflepuff was laughing his ass off as he read up on his pitiful sexual history. He would have embezzled the truth about his sexual liaisons in the past however the quill was charmed to prevent embellishments.
Because he was not able to falsify his answers he was surprised to find out that he had no preference for hair or eye color. When he brought the quill to the paper he was fully expecting to write, red hair and green eyes as most attractive but when he looked at the answer after he had written it, it said 'no preference.' Severus had spent thirty years of his life comparing every female he saw to Lily. Maybe he had no preference because if it wasn't Lily, he just didn't care. He was surprised to learn he wanted two kids as well. If he had control of the quill, he would have written that he wanted none, but obviously some part of him really did. He had a lot to think about and he did not like it. Introspection was not a favorite pastime of his.
Severus exited his final interview cranky and tired. He really wanted a drink and to settle into a good book. The snot-nosed Hufflepuff that he was sure had been earlier laughing at his sexual profile said that his information would be compared with the information of all the witches in their database until a compatible match was found. Therefore, he had no idea how long it would take. It could be anywhere from a day to a year. A part of Severus hoped that no match would ever pop up and he would be exempt from the law. Another part of him wished he could just find out already and get on with it. He hated being in limbo. He had spent too much of his life suspended between the whims of one master or another and this whole situation felt eerily the same. He didn't like it one bit.
Severus exited the lift on the main floor of the Ministry eager to get out. He was unpleasantly surprised to see Rita Skeeter haranguing a very harassed looking Harry Potter as the boy was trying to get into a fireplace to floo out. There had been a big article in the Prophet just a few days earlier announcing Potter's wedding to the Weasley girl and no doubt Rita was trying to get details. Severus chuckled softly to himself but did not slow down as he passed. He would never tire of seeing Harry Potter uncomfortable. He didn't hate the boy anymore but that didn't mean he wasn't going to enjoy a laugh at his expense. Unfortunately, Rita Skeeter had noticed him pass and Harry disappeared in the split second she was distracted.
Severus was not so lucky as to receive the same speedy exit Potter did. In a flash Rita had stretched out an arm and latched onto his hand to stop him. Severus yanked his hand out of her grasp and rounded on her. He folded his arms across his chest and peered down at her, his black eyes sparkling malevolently. "May I help you?"
"Oh don't glare at me like that. I am not one of your students. I won't quiver in fear." She said glaring back. "I believe you owe me for dinner."
Severus rolled his eyes. He realized that what he did was petulant but he never expected it to come back and bite him the ass. The woman was relentless. He had never shown any interest in her but she had always been fascinated with him. Even when they were in school all those years ago she had been interested in him. For a brief horrifying moment, Severus had an image of the Ministry placing her as his match. He couldn't even begin to imagine trying to get along with her let alone wanting to.
"The check is in the mail." Severus replied turning around quickly but she stopped him again.
"Not so fast. There are other ways you can repay me you know. Let's go somewhere we can be more comfortable." She said softly running her hand down his arm and raising her eyebrows suggestively.
Severus cringed and backed up to the nearest floo quickly but as he made his escape he couldn't help but get in one last verbal jab. "The only way I would be more comfortable right now is if I was in a coma."
Severus stepped quickly in the floo, stating his address quietly so Rita would not hear, and disappeared. Once at home he immediately opened a bottle of firewhiskey and took a shot before he had even bothered to brush the dust of the floo of himself. He thought of Rita's crude suggestion and cringed again. Mentally he shook himself and refilled his glass. Sure, there were times when he craved the company of a woman in his bed, but truth be told he would rather pay a prostitute than hook up with her. He was going to have to find a way to exact revenge against Narcissa for her little prank.
Severus downed a third shot of firewhiskey before picking up a book on hair care potions. He had decided to seriously think about creating a shampoo that protected hair from humidity and potion fumes. Severus was researching everything hair related and had just recently received a stack of books on the subject. The books ordered them from Flourish and Blotts under a pseudonym because he didn't want anyone to know that he was reading beauty books. After flipping through one of them for a few moments he threw it back on the table and reached for the whiskey again.
Severus was thinking too much lately, and as a result he was getting drunk a little too much in order to dull his thoughts. His profession both as a teacher and a spy absolutely forbade anything more than a light indulgence, but lately alcohol had become a sweet refuge from his muddled thoughts. Severus had no idea what he wanted to do with his life beyond brewing potions and living peacefully. Severus was smart enough to know that he was experiencing survivor's guilt and still feeling regret for having to kill Dumbledore. Severus felt hollow inside and unsure what to do with himself without all the duties he had during the war sucking up all of his time and energy. The only thing he was sure of was that he was thoroughly depressed that after all his hard work during the war all he had to look forward to was creating a shampoo and marrying a stranger.
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Harry, Ginny, and Hermione were sitting around Hermione's kitchen table discussing who her possible matches could be. She had completed her Ministry questionnaires that day and resolutely refused to read her answers once they were written. She was afraid of reading things about herself that she really didn't want to know. Now that she was discussing the day with her friends she was afraid that was a bad idea.
"I can't believe you didn't want to check all your answers." Harry said looking through her pile of pamphlets on how the Ministry actually made its matches. "I mean, it is so unlike you. In school we couldn't tear you away from the examination papers for days after you took them."
"I know, but this is different. I regret it now though, I'll tell you that much. It's just that I answered every question with David in mind. I obviously won't be set up with him, but, I don't know. I'm just not myself so I didn't look. It doesn't even make sense to me." Hermione picked at the slice of pizza before her. She was not crying herself to sleep every night anymore but she really did miss her ex-boyfriend. He was always on her mind and a dull ache had settled deep in the pit of her stomach.
"Maybe they won't be able to find a match for me. If they don't then I won't have to worry about it. When I think about possibly being matched with someone like Crabbe or Goyle, I think it might be worth it to just leave the magical world."
Ginny laughed and rubbed her still flat belly, a habit she had picked up immediately after discovering she was pregnant. Hermione was shocked when she heard the news, and for a moment it had made her feel worse about the whole David thing, but in the end Hermione had gushed over the news with her friend. She didn't have the heart to rain on Ginny's parade.
"I really hope that doesn't happen to you, but you said yourself that the Ministry guarantees they will match you with someone you will get along with. I know it's not much of a bright side but at least you have that." Harry said. He felt terrible for his friend. He still thought that if his wanker of a best friend hadn't run off with Pansy he could be saving Hermione from all this misery. But then again, Harry suspected they would have been miserable with each other so it wouldn't do much good. Ron always had a tendency to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and Hermione was just way too intelligent for him.
Ginny reached for another slice of pizza and took a large bite. Her appetite would come and go and at that particular evening it was in full swing. So far she was fortunate enough to avoid morning sickness. "How long did they say the matchmaking process would take?"
"However long it takes to do the spells matching my information with all the information of the bachelors. Theoretically it could take ages before one works." Hermione picked up the pamphlet explaining the process. They were using runes and arithmancy among other things to determine the matches. They were only matching people that had more than ninety-five percent compatibility and that seemed a little unlikely to Hermione. Though the longer it took the longer she had to get over David so she wasn't too fussed about it. She was not ready to pretend to be happy about being with someone else.
"I don't think it's going to take very long." Said Harry pointing, for just then there was a tapping on the kitchen window. A Ministry owl was beating on it with its beak, a large scroll tied to its leg.
Hermione jumped up to open the window her heart racing. She had only finished her interviews a few hours ago. Maybe there was a mistake and they needed her to come back. Surely there couldn't be a match already.
With trembling fingers Hermione untied the scroll from the owl's legs and fed him a treat. The owl hooted dolefully and flew out the way it had come. Hermione's hands were shaking so badly she couldn't even open the scroll. The wax seal holding it closed had the stamp of the Department of Magical Matrimony on it.
"Here you guys open it." Hermione said throwing the scroll to Harry and flopping back down in her chair. She felt like she might start hyperventilating she was so nervous.
Harry opened the seal and unrolled the scroll. He laid it flat on the table so that Ginny could read it with him. "Dear Ms. Hermione Granger," Harry read, "It is the pleasure of the Department of Magical Matrimony to inform you that have been successfully matched. Enclosed you will find a sheet with the name and contact information of your match. You are required to send notice of your acceptance to the Ministry within forty-eight hours and to make contact with your match within the same amount of time. Once again, congratulations on your match and best wishes for your future. Sincerely, blah, blah, blah," Harry said as he lifted the top page of parchment to reveal the one underneath.
Once Harry revealed the second page Ginny let out an audible gasp. Hermione's head snapped up to look at them. Ginny had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide as she stared at the parchment. Harry was shaking his head from side to side mumbling 'no way, not possible,' under his breath.
"What? Who is it?" Unable to bear the suspense any longer Hermione snatched the paper from under Harry's nose. She read the name once, twice, and then a third time just to be sure.
"No fucking way."
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Severus had spent a busy Tuesday visiting with potential new clients. The upside of brewing potions for a living was that he rarely had to deal with the public. The downside of being good at it, he was beginning to realize, was that demand was getting harder and harder to keep up with on his own. He had not had much of an opportunity to think about the marriage law for the past week because he was so busy and he was grateful for that. Deciding to put off drawing up contracts for his new clients until the next day, Severus settled into his favorite chair with a muggle novel.
Severus thoroughly enjoyed reading any type of book, but when he wanted to relax he tended to go after muggle books. Reading muggle fiction was his equivalent to fantasy. There was good magical fiction out there but it was rare and Severus didn't really relax when he read magical texts because he was always trying to pick them apart looking for inaccuracies. Muggle novels were his guilty pleasure. As were muggle movies. He had a television in his bedroom hidden in a cabinet. He wondered what his future bride would think of that.
Just as Severus had become engrossed in his book an owl came swooping through the open window landing on his arm knocking the book out of his hand. Cursing the owl he shook it off of his arm and fished through the book trying to find the page he had lost. The owl was a standard barn owl and was probably carrying an order from a client so Severus ignored its hooting for the moment. As soon as he found the correct page he glanced at the scroll tied to the owl's leg. He dropped his book again after he saw the Ministry stamp in the wax seal.
Severus quickly detached the scroll and the owl nipped his finger forcefully before flying back out the window. Severus wasted no time in breaking the seal and reading the first page of the scroll. Expecting to see his match's name on the first page he was unpleasantly surprised to see it wasn't there. His courage was beginning to falter. Pull yourself together, you idiot, you have faced far worse than a woman's name on a piece of parchment, he scolded himself. Severus held his breath as he moved the first sheet of parchment away from the second and read the name. Letting out his breath in a whoosh Severus fell back into his chair. Hermione Jean Granger. One of his students, one of his most annoying students, one third of the Potter trio was his best possible match.
Severus stared at the page before him for another minute before speaking aloud in the empty room.
"No fucking way."
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A/N: Let's all give a warm round of applause to whoopsydaisy who is very adept at catching all my mistakes and providing helpful suggestions to make this story better.
I would also like to thank my reviewers, you make me smile! I love your thoughts and opinions and since I am still new to creative writing it is always helpful if you find mistakes and plot holes. But if you do be nice about it because my beta and I are doing our best to make sure that does not happen. And thanks to all of you who are reading. Please keep on reading and reviewing!!!
