Chapter 30.

It all had gone fast; the way to his home, inside his house. Just feeling his lips on hers as they made it to the bed room. Both heated as her back rested lightly against his bedroom door. His hands moving down her body as her fingers tangled into his hair, pulling him closer to taste him better.

Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed

You said move on

Where do I go

How do I get better

Once I've had the best

You said there's

Tons of fish in the water

So the waters I will test

It felt surreal to her, the alcohol giving her a spinning mind that made it all feel like a dream, following her feelings of frustration she had built up over the year. Being with someone would be what she needed, right? Getting back in the saddle.

Russ kissed her down her neck, pulling at her top to feel the skin underneath. A moment later she felt the soft fabric of her shirt slid up, and move over her head. It was after her top had left her body she met Russ' cyan eyes for pretty much the first time she got in his bedroom. He smirked softly, glancing down to her body a moment later. 'You are beautiful'.

She remembered herself the moment she first met him, how she stood there in just her bra, her shirt clanging to her chest. Embarrassed, not as much now. Also recalling the moment he had pulled his shirt off, and her eyes had focused on his well-shaped back. For the first time being attracted to a man, a new man, after Alex.

Stevie closed her eyes, just re-sensing the way it had confused her. Made her feel lightly bad.

His fingers trailed softly over her shoulders, pushing the strings of her bra down her upper arms.

For so long it had only been Alex. The only man that she held feelings for, how attractive he had been to her. But she remembered his words, just there and than on that day of torture. He didn't want her to stay alone. Not wanting to hide herself from another man's attention.

And Russ clearly held that attention.

Closing her eyes she wish she could cast away all those memories. 'Stevie?', Russ asked caring. Opening her brown gazers she stared at him, seeing his sweet smile. 'You're okay with this right?' She swallowed hard and nodded. She had to right? Be okay with all this? How on earth would she ever get back in the saddle, out in the field again if this wasn't right?

'Good', Russ remarked, his thumb stroking gently over her cheek, his hand guiding her close again; to kiss her. Passionately, would be his take. But again Stevie was searching for more, more intimacy, more deepness and eagerness; in the way she had always liked it. And how much she tried, she couldn't find it. Wanting to taste something different; recasting that feeling, that sense of taste that had made her heart pound faster, unsteady and made her feel so utterly fuzzy, warm inside, so wanted. For a moment she could recall it in her memory, the same moment she pulled away.

He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in

I was disgusted with myself

Stevie stared at him, seeing the confused look in his eyes as his hands held the distance between them, resting on his chest. A second later she bend, picked up her shirt and opened the door quickly to get out.

Startled he stood there.

She had rushed out, wandering over the streets confused and full with emotions. Only for a short moment as she had just left, hearing him shout her name. But she was gone, and she didn't want to be found. Not by him.

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

(Lyrics: Katy Perry – Thinking Of You)