Chapter 2- Disruptions

McCoy may have been prone to exaggeration at times, but he was not on this occasion. I had a list of 9 graduate level courses to complete in 12 weeks. Academics had always been somewhat easy for me, but even so the most classes I had ever taken at one time was 6 and that was near insanity. It felt like "A Clockwork Orange" where my face was glued to a computer monitor either in the office or in my quarters for most of the day every day. And when I wasn't watching lectures on the finer points of interstellar psychoses, I was buried in PADDs with notes and research articles along with the many assignments I had complete on my own. My entire life had been put on hold. I no longer had time to have lunch with Uhura and forget lessons with Sulu and Spock. I had almost forgotten what Chekov looked like it had been so long since I had seen him. I was completely consumed with my studies 18 hours a day and I was exhausted, but I slogged away because I took it as a personal challenge. I may have been old, both in terms of actual age and era, but I was determined to show them that this old dog could learn new tricks.

I sat back in my chair at my desk in sickbay and rubbed my tired eyes. They felt like they were on fire and my brain was numb. "Why don't you take a break?" McCoy asked looking at me with a small smile. "You will go blind if you keep it up."

"Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?" I sighed letting my head fall back to stare at the sterile white ceiling.

"You could." He shrugged. His smirk grew wider as he added, "Then I would have to fix your retinas and that would include me poking at your eyes and many, many drops."

I covered my face in horror and cried, "Stop! I can't even think about something that awful. You have a mean streak wider than the Mississippi."

He gave a self satisfied chuckle and let a few moments lapse before he quietly said, "You know, you are ahead of schedule on those classes. You can take a break, or maybe actually go to lunch, or just not work so hard. You have nothing to prove."

"I do to myself." I countered. "I want to get this done and over in record time."

He nodded his head in agreement. "Admirable, but if you don't give yourself a break you will start suffering the same symptoms of insanity you are studying. As the CMO I am ordering you to take the rest of the day off and do something relaxing."

I looked over at him and laughed. "Order? You ain't my daddy! CMO or not, I don't have to listen to you!" I teased.

He squinted at me and playfully grumbled, "Obey your husband, woman!"

That was it. "Fine. I will do something 'relaxing' like go find some young cadet and ply him full of Romulan Ale and… see where it goes from there." I smirked as I stood up and stretched. My body hurt from sitting in the chair so long.

He looked up at me from his computer screen and his expression was unexpected. It looked as though my playful jab hurt a little more than it should have and I felt bad. Ever since the night I decided to open up a little to him, things between us had changed. Not in a bad way, in fact we seemed even more in tune with each other, but there was something else- some unspoken, unrequited sense of sadness and devotion that we just chose to mutually live with in silence.

It was the strange, tingling feeling deep in the gut I got when the light reflected just right in his eyes and the small satisfaction that sitting next to him at dinner gave although we had been around each other all day in sickbay. I felt like a schoolgirl and it was such sweet misery because although I so desperately craved the human contact, I wasn't exactly sure how to navigate the sticky mess of a dual relationship. Still, it was getting harder and harder every day to ignore the gnawing tension that left us both in a hellish limbo between just friends and friends with benefits.

I would be lying if I said it didn't consume a greater portion of my day as time passed. The memory of his soft, warm lips usually had a front row seat, although I kept telling myself that he was drunk and would have been just as likely to kiss a fencepost given the chance. This is where it always fell apart. He had his own issues with a woman who was out to kill him in any way she could so I imagined another relationship would be the last thing he would want. And why me? He didn't really know me and I feared that once he did, he would run like any sane man should. Even I was running from who I was and so far not 250 Earth years or several hundred light years have been enough. In the end, it was just the wishful thinking of someone who was not in any way special. Since neither of us seemed brave enough to test the waters, we continued to sit in our mutual purgatory bound together by an exclusive sense of devotion to one another but too consumed by fear to actually taste the forbidden fruit. We had been damned for doing nothing at all.

"Of course I wouldn't do that." I revised with a small smile. "It would be unethical."

He returned the faint smile, but his eyes were full of misery. The unease could have just as easily been caused by lack of sleep, the never ending stack of paperwork on his desk, or losing at poker the night before, but I would have liked to think it was me. We were free to see other people, but doing so would feel like a betrayal and there was no good reason for it. I felt worse now than I did a few minutes ago; a numb brain is much better than one that spins and stews about things you have no answers for.

I wandered the halls aimlessly trying to refocus and regain some sense of clarity. I needed to put my brain on autopilot and just be for awhile, that meant no heavy discussions and nothing that required me to think too deeply. Immediately one person sprang to mind: Scotty. I headed down to the engine rooms already feeling some relief. Scotty was a brilliant man, of that there was no doubt, but he knew when to be a genius and when to just kick back and have a laugh. It was all seamlessly integrated for him.

The engine rooms were mostly quiet, unlike the last time I had come down and seen him brandishing a wrench and screaming like William Wallace in Braveheart rallying his troops. I chuckled, I could almost see Scotty with blue war paint on his face. "Come down slummin' again, lass?" Came a thickly accented voice from behind me. I turned to see Scotty with a clipboard and a smile and it was like salve on the soul.

"Yeah, I was taking a break from my classes." I replied. "Are you busy?"

He glanced at his clipboard and answered, "Nah. Ah was just doin' checks on the bits and parts. I dunno aboot ya', but Ah learned me lesson the last time the Captain had us play catch up. Wasn't much fun as Ah recall." He lamented. "Next time Ah will be kicked up in me office and enjoying a pint while ya poor bastards are runnin' like headless chickens. So how goes it with the studies? Has the good doctor right killed ya yet?" He inquired casually tossing the clipboard on top of a quietly whirring machine.

"It is tough, but I am managing." I admitted. "I am about halfway through, but he made me quit for the day. He said I would go blind."

Scotty chuckled and said, "Well, he'd know, an' it sounds like good advice. All work and no play and the like." He waved his hand vaguely as he trailed off. "Ah was beginin' to think we left ya at the last stop since Ah hadn't seen ya at dinner except for ya sprintin' through the cafeteria with a sandwich in your mouth and your face in a PADD. Uhura misses ya too. Do ya think ya can manage a swing by sometime to remind us who ya are?" He asked raising his eyebrows mockingly.

"I haven't forgotten you guys, I am just so busy with trying to get this done." I pleaded. "I miss you too, I just want to get this over."

He nodded his head and stated, "Aye, but Rome wasn't built in a day an' ya won't do us any good if ya spend all your time locked away and get bats in the belfry yourself. Do as ya like, but Ah am just tryin' to talk some sense into ya, lass."

I smiled widely at him. "I know, Scotty, and I appreciate it. You are right, I have been neglecting all of you in a mad dash to get through this. McCoy said I am ahead of schedule, so maybe I can drop by tomorrow at mealtimes. I miss talking to all of you and just enjoying down time with my friends."

"There ya are!" He exclaimed. "Ah know ya have a ways to go, but Ah just wanted to tell ya that Ah will be proud to serve with ya once ya graduate and earn your stripes." He smiled warmly and gave me a clap on the shoulder. "Ah knew ya had bollocks the minute Ah saw ya."

I laughed and said, "Thanks, Scotty, but when you first saw me you said you loved me and now I have balls? Are you trying to say you secretly love men? What would Uhura think about that?"

He broke into a loud guffaw that resonated off the metal surroundings. "Ya got me dead! But why is it everything we say revolves 'round male bits?"

"Well, Freud would say that you are secretly a homosexual and I have penis envy. Jung would say that the penis represents power and that is something you use to make me a subordinate, Skinner wouldn't have anything to say since there was no discreet stimulus-response cycle with which to quantify the behavior, and Dr. Ruth Westheimer would just tell us to go with it- penises are funny."

Before Scotty could state his preference, Chekov's voice interrupted with an announcement. "Attention! The Enterprise has received emergency orders from Starfleet to render aid to a disabled Klingon transport wessel in the alpha quadrant. The distress signal vas received about one hour ago and communications vith the wessel indicated it is completely incapacitated and contains 117 citizens. Ve vill be taking the individuals on board and escorting them to the nearest Starbase in Klingon airspace approximately…" He paused and Scotty and I looked warily at each other. When Checkov continued, his voice was somber, "four day's time. As you all know, ve are almost at full capacity. In order to accommodate the refugees, ve vill have to double or triple up. See your officers for assignments. The Captain vould like to remind everybody that he knows this is not good, but we must respect our guests. Anyone caught pinching the nose or vomiting will be disciplined. Thank you."

Slowly and steadily, Scotty's crew emerged from among the buzzing machinery to gather and look to him eagerly for their new rooming assignments. He looked back at them and muttered, "Bloody hell. Klingons. Ah tell ya for sure Ah am sleeping in me office. With good luck the stench won't drift down here." He stalked off to his office to grab his PADD and I went back to the sickbay. I just new McCoy would be stroking out right about now.