Gibbs glared at the wall as he listened to the uproarious behavior coming from upstairs – he'd been trying to concentrate on a project for the past hour now, but had so far only succeeded in giving himself three splinters and one paper cut because of the distracting screams echoing through the living room and kitchen above him.

Intent on finding out just what the hell was going on, Gibbs stood up and stomped up the stairs, halting in the doorway as a glob of mashed potatoes flew past his head. Gibbs eyes scanned the room, stopping when he caught sight of Tony, sitting between the twins who had matching scowls on their faces and their arms crossed over their chests "What in the world is going on up here?!" Gibbs demanded in a firm tone, ceasing all activity in the kitchen.

Tony lifted his head up, and Gibbs had to fight hard not to laugh – Tony was covered in mashed potato, what he thought might have been gravy, green beans, and something else he couldn't quite identify. "We're having a little difficulty with feeding time, that's all…" Tony stated meekly as he lifted the spoon on one of the high-chairs, intent on trying to feed Owen a spoonful of the mashed potatoes, again.

Owen wailed loudly, pushing his palms into the plastic high-chair table and shook his head rapidly "NO!" he screamed, turning his face away when Tony lunged forward to try and get the potatoes in Owen's mouth.

What happened next shocked Gibbs; Owen quickly batted his hand outward, sending the lump of potatoes flying towards the wall once more. Gibbs slowly turned his head and watched as the potatoes, both from earlier and now, dribbled down the wall "I'd say little is a pretty big understatement, Tony…" Gibbs responded mildly as he stepped into the kitchen finally and made his way over to the table, glaring at the two defiant toddlers.

Owen and Olivia both turned to look at Gibbs, smiling innocently up at him; Gibbs found it hard to fight the smile, given that his two children were covered more than Tony was in the mess of food "Why are you giving Daddy a hard time eating?" Gibbs asked, continuing his firm tone; he knew the twins wouldn't defy the tone, they were a lot like Tony in that regard, which is why it shocked him when both of the twins shook their heads.

"Daddy no make me eat! Don't wan' nassy veggables!" Owen declared, pushing the plate of food off his tray and onto Tony's lap. Olivia watched her brother with interest, but before her plate could get any further, Gibbs snatched it up and set it far enough away out of her and Owen's reach.

This seemed to only further the twins' distress, both of them screaming their faces red. Tony looked at Gibbs helplessly, mouthing the word 'help' several times. Gibbs lowered his head and tried counting backward from ten, forwards from one, but the screaming did not help to calm his already shot nerves "One… Two…" before Gibbs could even reach three, the entire house fell silent; Owen and Olivia looked up at Gibbs with wide, terrified eyes – they knew counting to three was a bad thing, they learned that lesson the hard way and had never gotten past two ever since.

Finally taking ten seconds to calm his nerves enough, Gibbs lifted his head "Go upstairs and take a shower… I'll handle these two." Gibbs told Tony, slowly moving around the table so he could unbuckle Olivia and Owen from their chairs, then lifted each toddler into an arm. Tony was quick to take off upstairs, knowing he wouldn't want to be around when Gibbs handled the toddler's erratic behavior – He had quickly developed a soft spot and couldn't stand to see them being punished.

Gibbs shook his head as he headed downstairs to the basement, enduring the kicks and punches that landed on his stomach and shoulders; as well as the renewed wailing that resounded in his ears louder than before. Gibbs settled the twins on the workbench, putting his hand on one side of Owen's body and the other on Olivia's, he stared at them for long moments, waiting for their screaming to run out once again.

Gibbs breathed slowly through his nose and out through his mouth once the basement was silent, he looked at Olivia and Owen and sighed quietly "What's going on with you two? Why are you giving Daddy Tony such a hard time today?" Gibbs asked quietly, hoping that his soft tones would soothe the irate toddlers and they would open up to him.

Owen and Olivia remained silent this time, glaring at their daddy with what everyone has deemed 'The Mini-Gibbs Glare' because it was a mixture of absolute adorableness and the reality that they were, in fact, Gibbs' children and had inherited one of the worst habits that Gibbs had in himself, at least now – since he was retired, he no longer had to be the bastard that he was at NCIS so there was no way the twins would have picked that one up.

Gibbs, not one to give up so easily, glared right back at his petulant two-year-olds. They were all silent and still, not one giving an inch; which, on any other day, would have impressed Gibbs, but he had a headache the size of Texas, Tony was stressed out, and the Twins were unwilling or incapable of cooperating with simple instructions today.

Tony watched from the landing at the top of the basement, leaning over the railing to see which of the stubborn three would give in first; he knew the battle could take a while, but his hopes were that Gibbs would come out on top and win the war altogether. Twenty minutes had gone by since the stalemate had started, and Olivia started squirming restlessly on the workbench.

Gibbs had thought she would be the first to give in "I gotta potty!" she cried, tears quickly coming to her eyes as she fought to get off the workbench, but this wasn't a give-in, this was merely nature intervening momentarily. Gibbs lifted Olivia up and set her down on the floor, watching her carefully as she took off towards the stairs and clambered up them until she was within reach of Tony.

Gibbs was then left with the more defiant of the two, turning his gaze back to Owen. Owen huffed out a breath and crossed his arms over his chest, a mischievous little smile crossing his face as he looked up at his daddy. Gibbs' eyebrow rose up slightly – he, for some reason, could absolutely see the reflection of Tony's mischievousness in Owen and that actually sent a jolt of fear down his spine; "What's that look for?" Gibbs asked, almost afraid to ask his two-year-old son.

Owen simply shrugged his shoulders, again reminding the older man of Tony; it was uncanny how, in just a simple six months, the twins had picked up so many of their traits – He and Tony would definitely have to talk about monitoring their actions and censoring themselves when they were at home. A few minutes later there was a loud high-pitched scream echoing through the house, coming from upstairs, and Gibbs quickly grabbed Owen around the waist, racing to get up to the top level of the house.


Tony carried Olivia upstairs and into the bathroom, helping her get her pants down and onto the training toilet that they'd been teaching the twins how to use. Tony sat in the chair and waited patiently, knowing that Olivia had a lot of problems trying to use the potty; whether it was nervousness or just plain being scared of the contraption, neither man knew.

Olivia swung her legs back and forth, singing quietly to herself and looking around the bathroom with interest as she waited for her bathroom duties to be completed; she hated the potty and nobody seemed to get that she didn't like using it, but knew she wouldn't get a cookie if she didn't at least try and use the toilet.

Tony hummed along with the song Olivia was singing subconsciously – he knew she was singing the theme to My Little Pony, but he didn't know the words as well as she seemed to know them. It only took a few more minutes before Olivia had finished the song and stood up from the toilet, "I aw done now!" she proclaimed, turning around to look down into the little pot that now held her urine.

Tony also looked, confirming that Olivia had in fact used the toilet, then nodded his head as he helped her put her pants back up onto her waist "That's good, Liv. I'm proud of ya." Tony stated as he kissed her forehead and then lifted her up so that she could wash her hands – he'd dispose of the toilet contents after they were done in here.

Once Tony had set Olivia back down, she toddled off in the direction of her bedroom and Tony turned to dump the toilet into the bathtub – Only to find a swarm of spiders in the tub, he screamed loudly, dropping the toilet pot into the tub and backed out of the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him firmly.

A few seconds later, Gibbs rushed up the stairs with Owen in his arms "What the hell was that?!" Gibbs demanded, looking at Tony who had gone white as a ghost and was pressed against the wall furthest from the bathroom door.

Tony raised his shaking hand, stammering out words that made no sense to Gibbs at all. Gibbs sighed, realizing he'd have to investigate himself, he put Owen down and headed towards the closed bathroom door. Owen began giggling as he took off towards his bedroom, pushing the door closed behind him so he could quickly hide – he knew he'd be in trouble for this stunt.

Gibbs came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, "Spiders… Just how in the hell did we get spiders in the bathtub?" Gibbs asked, looking up and down the hallway briefly "And where did Owen go? I have a feeling he'll have the answers I'm looking for…" Gibbs said as he strode down the hall with determination.

Gibbs found Owen underneath his bed a few minutes later and carefully dragged the two-year-old out from underneath by the collar of his shirt "You and I are going to have a serious discussion about this." Gibbs stated as he plopped Owen onto his bed, Gibbs then sat down in front of the toddler and gave him one of his most intimidating glares – one he never used at home, and had only ever reserved for Interrogation.

Owen shrunk back immediately "I sorry daddy! I didn't meanta! It was jussa possed to be a yoke!" Owen confessed quickly, tears springing to his baby blue eyes as he looked down at his daddy, his bottom lip wobbling fiercely.

Gibbs shook his head slowly "How did you manage to get the spiders into the bathtub?" Gibbs asked, genuinely curious how a two-year-old managed to do such mischievous things without being caught in the act.

Owen frowned as he dropped off his bed and crawled underneath it – Gibbs was tempted to pull him out again, but before he could, Owen reemerged with a small peanut butter jar and held it out to Gibbs; there were still spiders inside, and remnants of peanut butter in the jar as well. Gibbs warred between shocked and impressed by his boy's intelligence, "Owen… You know that daddy is afraid of spiders, why would you do that?" Gibbs asked, setting aside the jar so he could take Owen into his lap.

Owen struggled against Gibbs firm grip but eventually subsided and sagged against Gibbs' chest, sniffling as he looked up at his daddy "Cause I thought it funny! Livvy giggled when I telled her! I didn't meanta scare daddy!" Owen insisted, tears streaking down his tan little cheeks.

Gibbs shook his head and wiped away the tears tenderly "And all the misbehaving today? What was that about?" Gibbs asked, hoping now that Owen seemed willing to talk, he'd finally get answers; how wrong he was.

Owen immediately clammed up and forced himself out of Gibbs' arms "NO!" he shouted, storming out of his bedroom in a whirl of Superman colors. Gibbs sighed and laid his forehead on the edge of Owen's bed.

Tony shook his head as he came a few inches into the bedroom "I think this is just one of those terrible-two phases, babe… We may as well give up while we're behind…" Tony stated quietly; he didn't approve of admitting defeat, but this was a fruitless battle and neither man would come out on top in the battle of twin-power.

Gibbs nodded his agreement as he stood up, picking up the jar of peanut butter spiders as well "I'm just going to go dispose of our free-loaders, make sure to remove any and all jars from the house from now on… I don't need another episode like this happening…" Gibbs said as he moved out of the bedroom and down to the recycling bin outside of the house.

A few hours later, everything in the house was absolutely silent except for the rasping of sandpaper on wood and the turning of book pages as Gibbs and Tony sat in the basement, working on two separate things; Gibbs, his first paid-project, and Tony, his first school assignment. All was right in the world of the Gibbs household, at least for a little while, both men knew not to jinx it because soon enough, the twins would be awake from their nap, and chaos would soon resume.