Thanks for the reviews much appreciates. Ownership of ashes = not me

She had more colour than she did when Ray had last come to see her. The oxygen mask was still on her face, and the doctors weren't optimistic, but she looked better than she had in days. Ray looked at her sleeping face and worked up the courage to say something to her.

"Ma'am I know ya probably can't hear me, but I want to tell you something. I'm no good at talking to people in the hospital, but I have to try. The doctor's said yer in a bad sort. I know it would probably hurt a lot, but do ya think you could come back? We all know how much you and the Guv love each other, and the Guv isn't the same without ya. I miss ya too. I don't let on, but I do really respect ya ma'am. Yer mad, a complete pain in the arse, but that's how we work best. Without a mad DI, CID couldn't work. The Guv hardly made it through Sam's death. He nearly drank himself into a coma when Sam died. I can't imagine what he'd do if you died too. He doesn't have any booze anymore. He's in prison right now ma'am and he's blamin' himself. Please ma'am, even if you don't come back for the Guv, come back for me. Cause I love ya too. Not like the Guv, but like the annoying sister I never had ya know? I miss ya ma'am. If ya can hear me, just know that we all want you back here.

Ray looked at her. She lay in the bed, oblivious to everything. The heart monitor beeped in the background steadily. He thought about the Guv. He had only said three words in the past few days.

"All my fault."

**

He still could remember her voice. He hadn't heard it for twenty six years, but he could remember it. Sometimes he heard it in his dreams. It was always accusing, demanding why he had shot her. She questioned why he didn't believe her. Why did he listen to Jenette? Then she would be falling over. Always the same nightmare.

He lived in his nightmares. There was no distinction between awake and dreaming. He was always in the courtyard, watching her fall, losing everything that meant anything. For a while, that nightmare made him wake up, screaming. Eventually, it made him go numb. He felt nothing but shame. He had tried to save her. He tried so hard... It was his fault. He didn't listen to her. That's why he was plagued by these dreams.

His face lifted. He could hear her voice. How? It wasn't accusatory, wasn't questioning him. He could tell that he was awake, the bright sunlight streaming into his cell. Maybe he was finally going mad. His cell door opened and a woman walked in. A woman, in tight jeans and a blouse, who looked just like Alex. That's when he knew, he wasn't going mad. He was mad.


TBC... Sorry the chapter was so short! But I did post two chapters today :P