Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep doing this?
Life For Rent
Chapter 7
Severus stayed up very late that night thinking about his meeting with Hermione. He was extremely uncomfortable but he believed he had managed to hide it very well. Despite their argument toward the end he thought it went surprisingly well, though Severus had berated himself thoroughly for his jab at her intelligence. While it was a classic Severus thing to say and do, he was trying not to be that Severus. Of course he was still snarky and enjoyed sarcasm but he wasn't the potions professor anymore; at least not her potions professor. Now that he could see how mature she had become, and how attractive he had to make less of an effort to see her as his ex-student. Especially considering she would be in his home soon and they would be expected to do things with each other that would be highly inappropriate if she was still his student.
The thought of a physical relationship with Hermione was by far the easiest kind of relationship for him to fathom. Obviously he had physical needs and it had a very long time since those needs had been met by an attractive young woman. He could easily envision the things they could do with each other in bed and he felt slightly ashamed for imagining it, until he reminded himself once again that she was no longer a student and that it was inevitable. As far as maintaining a relationship went he was more scared than he ever had been. He had never actually had a girlfriend so to speak. Lily was as close as he had come to that and he could not imagine any woman stimulating him emotionally as Lily had. Granger was smart but she was young and it was not the same. It was not the same because she wasn't Lily. Lily was his first love and he did not if he would ever love someone the same way again.
Interestingly, however, his love for Lily did not interfere with his ability to enjoy sex. Perhaps it was because he had never known Lily that way so he could not compare any woman to her sexually. Or, perhaps it was because he is a man. That was a good thing because it was bad enough he was afraid he would never love Hermione but at least he could show her physical affection without Lily interfering. To be fair to Hermione he should probably refrain from touching her until she understands that if and when they pursue a physical relationship there is a good chance his actions will not be borne out of love. Based on her story of her Muggle ex-boyfriend he assumed the feeling might be mutual. The thought should have brought him a sense of relief but strangely, it did not. Even someone with a reputation as being as cold and heartless as Severus was could recognize the depravity of their situation. They were doomed to live with each other, but never to love each other.
Severus' musing left him feeling lonelier than ever. He missed a woman's touch even if the women who had served him before were less than respectable. Now that he was with Hermione he would not be able to seek out any of easier contacts for that little bit of comfort. Picturing Hermione soft curves under her work robes and the curve of her lips made him slightly turned on. Yes, she was definitely attractive and that was at least a bonus. The tell-tale sensation of blood rushing to his groin signified that it was a bonus indeed. He blushed at the thought of what Hermione looked like under her robes and was fiercely glad she was not there to witness him touching himself at the image.
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Hermione, Harry, and Ginny went to Grimmauld Place immediately after the meeting with Severus. Kreacher busied himself with making the trio dinner while they discussed every detail of the encounter.
"I can't believe he said I have no subtlety." Harry declared indignantly. "He said the same damn thing when he was trying to teach me Occlumency. He doesn't let anything go does he?"
"You clearly haven't let it go either, Harry." Hermione replied matter -of-factly.
Harry huffed and crossed his arms. "So now you're defending him?"
Hermione stared at him in shock. "What am I supposed to do Harry? I am going to marry the man. He agreed to leave you out of it next time we argue, which based off of tonight I expect will be quite often so it would be absolutely lovely if you would just give me your support. You were supportive a few days ago. What happened?"
"Yeah Harry," said Ginny laying a comforting hand on his arm. "What did happen? Why are you so upset now?"
Harry stared stonily at nothing for a moment. Finally he sighed deeply and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "It was just seeing him after all this time. After all those letters I sent to him asking about my mother and him telling me know, I just couldn't help but feel angry that he was right there in front of me and I couldn't confront him. I know that he helped us a lot during the war and I do respect him for it but he was just so cruel to me I had a really hard time seeing him again. And then when he threw me into his little argument with you, I kind of lost it."
Hermione understood perfectly. It had been very difficult for her as well, but she was on a different page than Harry. She had already made the decision to be at ease around Severus and had found it surprisingly easy to do. Hermione had no illusions that it was always going to be easy but it was not as difficult for her to push aside the past because she was going to have to live with him. It would not do to dwell on what could not be changed.
"I do understand, Harry. It's just that I have to make a life with him so I am in a different position than you are. But don't worry, I am sure we will fight over you again and again because you will always be a part of my life whether he likes it or not. Eventually he is going to have to tell me how he feels about you. Maybe I can find a way to convince him to talk to you about your mother." Hermione said consolingly.
Harry just nodded and pulled Ginny onto his lap and placed a loving hand on her stomach. Hermione felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she watched the loving exchange. Would she ever be able to share a special moment like that with Severus? Would he be there to hold her and comfort her when things were difficult? Would he caress her stomach and treat her gently when she was pregnant? It was hard for Hermione to imagine Severus doing any of those things but she really didn't know him in that capacity so she didn't want to assume. She could imagine David doing all of those things, or at least she could when she thought he would want marriage and babies, but now she wasn't sure. The one thing she did know was that whether or not she and Severus ever fell in love with each other, any babies that had would be loved immensely, at least by her.
The three friends were halfway through dinner when Kreacher approached Harry with a letter.
"Letter for you, Master." Kreacher said handing it over.
Harry took the letter and scanned it quickly. "Thanks, Kreacher. It's from work; they need me to go in to help with some questioning. Apparently Mundungus Fletcher got caught trying to steal a shipment of Firebolts. He's been out of jail for two minutes and he's back at it again."
Mundungus Fletcher had gone to jail for three years for desertion during the war. Harry stood up reluctantly and gave Ginny a long kiss. "Don't stay up too late, okay? I love you."
"I love you too, Harry, now go to work so that Hermione and I can have some girl time." Ginny said pushing Harry out the door. Harry just rolled his eyes, kissed her again really quickly, and disappeared through the fireplace.
Ginny immediately rounded on Hermione a huge grin on her face. "Now let's talk about everything Harry would not want to hear."
"Oh, Ginny. You were there, what is there to talk about?" Hermione asked innocently.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Come on Hermione. You saw him and you know he looks good, you cannot deny it."
Giving in Hermione grabbed her drink and led Ginny to the sitting room so they could be more comfortable. "Fine, Gin, I admit he looked good. He looks younger with shorter hair, and his smile is really nice. Still has the same nose though."
"Ah, who cares about his nose what about his hands? How were his hands, I always loved his hands." Ginny said getting caught up in the moment. She was bubbling over with excitement.
Hermione frowned. "Yes his hands were nice and his voice is as silky and seductive as ever but he is no David."
Ginny let out a great breath. Was Hermione ever going to get over him? "Fine, you're right, David was pretty Mugglicious, but it's over. I don't want to be harsh but the sooner you realize the better off you'll be."
"I know that Ginny, and I am trying but how do you get over someone? It's not like I can just tell myself to stop thinking about him. I have been thinking about Severus too, just in a different way."
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.
"I mean that I can imagine living with him, kind of. I can imagine getting along with him and respecting him. I can even imagine having sex with him," Hermione blushed and Ginny giggled, "but I can't imagine loving him. There is attraction sure, I felt it when he touched my hand but it was kind of physical. I just don't know. It's all so weird. And now I am going to be going to his house soon for dinner. It feels so intimate."
"You are going to be intimate eventually. Why wait? How far do you think you will go with him when you go to his house for dinner?" Ginny asked excitedly.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't be surprised if it goes nowhere. I am not going to throw myself at him and he doesn't exactly seem the type to do it himself either."
"But you wouldn't stop him if he did try something would you?" Ginny asked hoping she would she would say no.
"No, I probably wouldn't stop him if he kissed me or something. I am curious after all. I just feel like I would be cheating on David." Ginny opened her mouth to speak but Hermione interrupted her, "I know I wouldn't be Ginny."
"You know Hermione, you are pretty lucky. Lots of girls at school would have donated their kidneys to get to know Snape the way you are." Ginny gushed excitedly.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm the lucky one." Hermione said sarcastically.
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Hermione fussed with the hem of her shirt pulling it down and smoothing it. She ran a hand through her hair which was back to its bushy state. Ginny had attempted to tackle Hermione with a bottle of Sleekeasy but Hermione said she would hex her into oblivion, pregnant or no. Finally she had relented but Hermione did agree to wear a shirt just a little tighter than what she would normally wear. Hermione never cared that much about her clothes but she had to admit that she did look good in the silky green shirt she had on.
Adjusting the bottles of wine she was carrying so that she was holding one in each hand she knocked on Severus' door. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she waited for him to answer. The house was small and painted white. The front garden looked like it was recently tended too. All in the entire place was neat and unassuming; not at all what she would expect to see someone like Severus Snape living in. When she thought about him she thought about stone houses and gargoyles.
Severus opened the door after a just a minute interrupting Hermione's examination of the house. "Good evening."
"Hello, I brought two bottles of wine, one red, one white, since I didn't know what we were having." Hermione rambled nervously stepping over the threshold.
Severus was staring at her. Her hair was back to its normal state. He did like it better all wild like that which surprised him. She looked absolutely stunning in her green silk shirt. It hugged her in all the right places and he blushed as he thought about what he had done the other night when he imagined what she looked like under her clothes. Thankfully, Hermione was too busy examining the living room they had just walked into. She was staring in awe at all the books.
"You look lovely this evening." Severus blurted. Hermione started and looked at him. She had to suppress a laugh because he had a pink tinge in his cheeks like he was embarrassed by his statement.
"Thank you, so do you." She replied. He did look nice. He was wearing a crisp white button down shirt and a pair of black pants. "White looks good on you."
He didn't say anything, just nodded curtly and gestured to the myriad of books covering every wall. "Just a portion of my collection."
Hermione felt like she had died and gone to heaven. As a book buyer she could appreciate the quality and extensiveness of his collection. He had enough books in his living room alone to happily satisfy her for years. She couldn't wait to see what else he had.
Severus noted the light in her eyes as she examined his books. Clearly books would be something solid they had in a common. Because of them they would probably never lack in conversation topics or ways to pass an evening.
"I can't wait to see the rest of them." Hermione said excitedly, then she blushed at her eagerness, "I mean, I hope I get to, I didn't mean to presume that—"
"It's quite alright. You will see them in due time and my lab as I promised. I hope you like pasta. I am making alfredo." Severus said taking the wine and leading her through a door in the living room into the kitchen.
"I guess it is the white then." Hermione said gesturing to the bottle in his left hand.
Severus smiled, so she knew just a little bit about wine. He had picked a white for the meal too but he would leave it and drink hers.
Hermione caught him appraising her. "I mean I don't really know a lot about wines beyond what color tends to go best with pasta or certain kinds of meat. I know what I like and I have a discerning palate, I just never really studied them."
Severus started. It was if she had just guessed his thoughts. He didn't really know what he felt about that. The only person who had the talent to always say something that was along his train of thoughts was Lily. "I'm not much of a connoisseur myself. I have my favorites, and I like trying new wines but I don't spend much time selecting them."
Hermione was surprised. She expected him to be the sort of man who only did something all the way. For example he would be an expert in wine or not drink it at all.
"Surprised?" He asked.
"About what?" Hermione asked. Did he just read my thoughts? It didn't feel like it.
"About my lack of wine expertise." He said. He could tell by her face that she was surprised at his admission.
"I guess I was a little. I just took you as the sort of person who is very thorough with everything."
"A trait I expected from you as well, but obviously we both pick and choose what we wish to study." He replied pouring her a glass. "Now sit down, dinner will be ready shortly."
Hermione sat down and watched, fascinated as he cooked the pasta and chopped vegetables for a salad. He didn't use magic at all. His movements were fluid and adept and Hermione found herself appreciating his hands once again. She felt a shiver in her spine at the thought of those hands touching her.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked. She enjoyed watching him but she didn't like feeling useless.
"You can slice the bread, if you don't mind. I am done here I just need to set the table."
Hermione sliced the bread as he set the table. This time he used magic to set the places carefully. Hermione set the bread on the table as he refilled her wine glass and served her.
"It looks delicious." She commented.
Severus smiled his appreciation. He noticed he had been smiling a lot in the last two days since he first met with Hermione and was glad not for the first time that he fixed his teeth. Narcissa had commented that his smile looked less like a sneer now. Severus picked up his wine glass and held it aloft.
Hermione followed suit eyeing him interestedly. What could he possibly want to toast?
"To, well, us I suppose." He said awkwardly.
"To us." Hermione replied taking a drink. The evening was definitely off to an interesting start.
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A/N: Sorry for the quasi cliffhanger but this chapter was originally 24 pages and I had to split it. The next chapter will pick it up directly so it will have kind of an abrupt start.
I would like to thank hockeygirl1489, Suzanne, sweet-tang-honney,heidi191976, sleepingbutterfly, zoe, diamond-helen, notwritten, makaem, LDeetz, whoopsydaisy for your lovely reviews. If you sign in when you review I will respond especially if you ask questions or have specific comment.
Naturally I want to give a big bag jelly babies to my beta whoopsydaisy because they are so good and she's a great beta!
