Chapter 11- Inquiring Minds Want to Know
It was more than plain that Spock was not accustomed to being catered to. Despite being propped up by fluffy pillows and a cool glass of water at hand along with a PADD for him to read, he seemed very uncomfortable prompting me to ask, "What's wrong, Spock?"
He slowly put his PADD down and took a deep breath. "I have never been the recipient of such constant attention. I am unsure of how to properly respond."
I chuckled. "You respond by doing nothing. Haven't you ever been sick or hurt even as a child?"
"Certainly, as anyone would. However, Vulcan child rearing practices are distinctly different from human customs. We do not experience what you consider comforting gestures. When one is ill or injured, it is up to the individual to practice meditation to mitigate unpleasant sensations. We do not rely on others to improve our conditions."
"I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable and if you feel I am hovering a bit too much, I can back off and behave a little more like McCoy if it would make you feel better. But for humans, giving feels as good if not better than receiving."
"It would not and if what you say is so, I would think that makes Dr. McCoy an anomaly to the general rule." He answered. "He appears to derive more pleasure from causing pain rather than relieving it."
I couldn't help but laugh. "There are doctors and then there are surgeons. Doctors fall in to the same category as everyone else, but surgeons are different because they never see the patient when they are awake, so they don't really need a bedside manner. All they care about is fixing whatever problem they are working on in record time, so McCoy is quite normal for his profession. Even so, I think you would be surprised at exactly how much he does care about his patients if you knew him a little better."
He looked away and debated carefully before going on. "Doctor, may I ask a question of a personal nature?"
"Ok." I agreed cautiously. If it was too personal I just wouldn't answer it, but if anyone had tighter ethical restrictions than I it was him so I wasn't too concerned.
"How were you able to form an alliance with the doctor when he does not appear amenable to human relations aside from the Captain?"
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, it was a good question. "I am not sure." I admitted. "I think that it just took a lot of patient observation and it helped that we have similar backgrounds, so I can probably better understand what makes a day bad for him and why."
"I have observed his behavior as much as anyone, and as of yet I have remained unsuccessful in my attempts to engage him in conversation that does not result in him becoming angry or involve at least one insult." He seemed truly sad about this fact and I felt compelled to offer my opinion.
"McCoy is actually very easy to figure out because he is very direct and mostly transparent, but as with anyone, in order to get him you have to think like him." I offered. "In very crass terms it is no different than training an animal- you have to figure out what will motivate them to give you the response you want. What is it you want McCoy to do?"
He seemed incredibly uncomfortable with equating human behavior with teaching a dog to roll over, but I knew he would have difficulty with conceptualizing the task in terms of feelings and emotions. He would get all tripped up in trying to interject logic into emotion which usually couldn't be done and certainly not to his satisfaction. "I would like for him to have a civil conversation without insulting me." He reiterated.
"Ok. The next step is to figure out why he doesn't do that already. Why does he get angry?" I asked. I couldn't help but see a parallel between the way he taught me to fight and the way I was teaching him to think more like a psychologist. Both were forms of combat and required equal amounts of skill and stealth.
"I am uncertain why he becomes angry. I hypothesize that his dislike for me originates with the Captain's probation when he was discovered to have cheated on his Kobayashi Maru exam in which Dr. McCoy was a participant. He and I engaged in a heated exchange when I marooned him on Delta Vega for mutiny after Dr. McCoy had inappropriately stowed him on board despite his probation. And then he was present when I…" he paused and lowered his eyes and I could only assume he meant when he damn near choked him to death in front of the crew. "However contentious the relationship between the Captain and I, we have been able to maintain a professional alliance that Dr. McCoy cannot seem to emulate."
"There is no doubt that he is Jim's friend," I confirmed, "but how long ago has that been? 2 years? McCoy may be vengeful at times, but he does not hold grudges that long. It would make him mistrustful at best, but I know for a fact that he does trust you a great deal. Think about what I told you, what does he value most?"
He looked at me with a small twinkle in his eye that made me smile. "Aside from alcohol." I qualified. He looked away but it seemed that was not what he was getting at. "Think about what he does for a living…" I prompted.
"Efficiency and expediency." He droned.
"Exactly." I encouraged. "I am sure it is a function of how you learned English, but when you speak you have a tendency to dance around what you are actually trying to say and it takes some work to figure it out. Now think like he does. If he is talking to someone, he would want to get right to the point because pleasantries are a waste of precious time just as nonessential information would be a waste of time if he were evaluating a critical injury."
"So you suggest I modify my speech pattern to accommodate his inattention?" He clarified.
"Speak only in nouns and verbs." I smirked. "Keep it short and sweet and see if he reacts any differently to you. Keep in mind there are always things beyond your control. You may catch him at a time when he is under a lot of stress or he has not slept in days, those things tend to put him in a bad mood but it has nothing to do with you. The first few times you try it you will probably get the same reaction you do now because he won't be expecting it and the old pattern of behavior will still be the default setting, but be patient and it might change. Think of it as an experiment."
The cold rationalization of a scientific experiment seemed familiar enough to him. "May I place another inquiry?"
"Go ahead." I nodded thinking that was just the kind of thing he had to work on.
He lowered his head and quietly asked, "How is Nyota?"
I paused for a moment trying to figure out who he was referring to until it dawned on me he was asking about Uhura. I remembered seeing her first name when I put her psych eval notes in the computer, but no one I knew called her that. "She had a pretty rough time in the cell as you no doubt saw, but she is strong, she will be fine. Otherwise," I ventured thinking he was actually inquiring about the breakup, "she is doing ok. I am sure she wonders the same of you." He gave a small nod and seemed mildly satisfied. "I think she will be ready when you are."
His lips drew into a tight line and I knew that meant he was not quite there yet, but soon he would have it together enough to speak with her about it. I didn't sense any animosity or a desire for revenge from him; only a quiet sadness for what was.
It was late, but Jim dropped by to inform us that between Sulu and Chekov a faster route to the starbase was worked out and Scotty was making some last minute 'adjustments' to the engines to get every last ounce of energy he could from them so we could go full tilt. All in all we should be at the base by mid morning for a well deserved 48 hour shore leave. Because the ship was being decontaminated, all crew members must leave the ship and he looked pointedly at Spock for emphasis. I wished him a goodnight and began packing a bag for myself and one for Spock at his direction.
I had never seen someone so reluctant to take a vacation as he, but if McCoy's description of it being a beach resort were correct, I could see why he would be reluctant. I giggled imagining him in swim trunks and flippers wearing a snorkel mask with a white triangle of zinc on his nose. But then again, Vulcans were probably immune to sunburn and were able to breathe underwater as well as everything else they could do better than humans. The very thought of it irritated me.
We got ready for bed and after he ordered the computer to shut off the lights I asked, "How did you know Shakespeare? I can't imagine it being a hot topic at a military school. Sun Tzu I get, but a playwright known for comedies, tragedies, and love sonnets?"
"Although the Academy did offer courses in classic literature, my mother loved to read his work and kept a volume of his writings in our home. It was hidden because as you might imagine, his poetic musings on the nature of love and revenge were taboo and seen as going against the teachings of Surak. Still, she would read his stories to me when I was a child and explain the strange dialect of English in which they were written. She so admired his words that she would become impassioned when she read them to me and I could not comprehend why as I now do." He replied dispassionately.
"And your father allowed such a display of emotion?" I asked in wonder.
"My father did not know." He answered with just a hint of humor. "My mother did not always do what was required to honor the Vulcan way of life. So, it was as a child I learned the stories of Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth, and many of his love poems. It was not until I lived on Earth and observed human behavior that I was able to appreciate his contribution to literature and his commentary on the human condition. Even though it was written 670 years prior, his insights remained largely accurate."
"So she read Shakespeare to you and taught you to dance. She sounds like quite a free spirit." I complimented.
"She was." He quietly agreed. I didn't need to see his eyes to know he still mourned her loss, it was evident in the low tone of his voice even after all this time he still longed for her; his first and only connection to the human world until recently. There was a cavernous hole left behind by her sudden passing that all the Vulcan discipline and superficial working relationships in the world couldn't fill.
In a way, I knew how he felt. Although I considered myself lucky to have been given a second chance, I sometimes thought of my old ties and wondered what had become of them. There was a gnawing that couldn't be satiated no matter how many friends I made, a sense of closure that could never be attained. I rolled over on my side on the floor and closed my eyes, but all I could see were flashes of my old life. Rather than being distressing, I felt a slightly melancholic resignation in knowing that I would never have the answers I sought. All I could do was hope that they had long and happy lives because in reality they never knew what became of me either and they could not have known what an extraordinary I life I now had.
