I'm backkkkkk! Super super super duper sorry about my unusually long hiatus! Everything and the kitchen sink was piled on me at once but it's all good now, hopefully. I haven't had time to even breathe let alone write! I had half this chapter written for a while and then kinda forgot about it tbh. But I finished it! Also, apologies in advance if the chapter seems oddly written. I kind of lost touch with the story and have had so many ideas in my head about it that I didn't get a chance to write down so I've been pretty confused. I'm getting back into the swing of it though! I don't think this story will be as deep or 3-demential as my last, so sorry about that too. I'm trying my hardest to write good quality stuff that also keeps you guys entertained. Enjoy this chapter and I'll try to get back on a regular schedule! However I will let you know ahead of time if I ever take a break again.
It had already turned into the evening on the Island of Berk. The high from the mornings battle had worn off and the terrible hangover period began. That, mixed in with the news of Hiccup's condition, made the aura of the town bitter and cold. People who were once cheering and jumping for joy with not a care in the world were now carrying it on their shoulders. People walked about the town at glacial paces with that terrible weight. However, no one in the town came close to bearing the weight that Astrid did. She was like a female Atlas trying to hold her crumbling world only to have keep falling to pieces. Now, the pieces were all she was carrying.
Astrid had just finished telling the town the news. Some of the townsfolk handled it better than others but overall, everyone was deeply saddened. Yet another chief was dying way before his time. People thought of what they could do and brainstormed ideas to help ease the pain. But nothing would unless it was a way to stop his dying. No one thought of that save for one person. Ruffnut had been researching all morning on a way to save Hiccup. Eret had mentioned a crystal known as Iceland Spar earlier in the academy. She thought it may have something to do with healing but all Ruffnut was getting on the gem was that it was used for navigation on many ships. However, she was going to search and search right up to Hiccup's last breath. She was determined to find the answer even if it killed her as well.
In the crisp evening air, Astrid made her way up the steps of her house. She expected to find it quiet and dark upon her entrance, however when she walked in, she beheld a sight she'd never thought she'd see. Hiccup was up and cooking! He sat by an open fire roasting a fish on a stick. Next to him was a table with various herbs and spices along with a plate and some silverware. A basket of freshly caught fish sat beside him. As did a very hungry Night Fury who's eyes were filled with desire. Hiccup's concentration was on the meal so he was very startled when he heard Astrid's voice.
"Hiccup?" She asked, confused. Caught off guard, he turned around and almost lost his grip on his dinner.
"Don't scare me like that I'm fragile." He replied.
"I'm sorry! I just... I didn't expect to see you up and... Cooking?"
"Well, I don't want to die of starvation first."
"That's not funny, Hiccup."
"I know, I'm sorry. I was feeling okay though, and pretty famished, so I thought I should make dinner. You were out and my mom had gone back to tending the injured from the battle, and Toothless isn't exactly the worlds best chef. Plasma blast smoked fish isn't really my favorite. No offense bud." Toothless rolled his eyes at Hiccup, taking fake offense to the remark.
"You should be resting. I'll make you some dinner."
"Just because I am sick doesn't mean I should act like it! I'm fine. The waves come and go, and until it comes again I'm going to keep making my fish."
"And where did the fish come from, Hiccup?"
"Toothless, show her." Gloomily, Toothless whipped his tail toward her and showed her. There was a new prosthetic where his old one was. This one looked brand new and way more complex. Toothless showed it off some more by moving it around. Aside from its brown color, it looked like and moved like part of his tail.
"It's new. I just put it on today. I whipped it up a few Snoggletog's ago. He didn't want it then, but I knew it would come in handy one day so I found it and kept it. It's so he can fly without me riding him. He's gonna need it now that...," Hiccup paused for a bit not wanting to say what he was going to say. Astrid understood though, so there was no need to say it. "Toothless went out and caught the fish." A long moment of saddened silence befell the room. Everyone knew he was dying but saying it out loud made it seem all the more real. If they just kept their silence, maybe everyone would forget and it would go away? Hiccup tried to restore a sense of normality all throughout that day but unfortunately his now shortened life would never be the same. His impending soon always lingered in this back of his mind.
After a few seconds that seemed like hours, Toothless jumped up to the couch Hiccup was sitting on and curled up next to him. He no longer desired fish. All he desired was for Hiccup to stay with him forever. No one knew how Toothless was going to deal with his death. No one loved or needed Hiccup more than Toothless. Hiccup didn't let him die that day in the forest like he so easily could have and here he was returning the favor by letting him die. Countless times Toothless has saved Hiccup's life but now he couldn't. It wasn't his fault but he couldn't help feeling guilty. Hiccup and Toothless are supposed to be equals. They are the same age. Toothless lost part of his tail, Hiccup lost part of his leg. Toothless became Alpha Male, Hiccup became chief. Now that Hiccup was dying, no one wanted this pattern to continue. But everyone was afraid it would. If Toothless didn't physical die, he would die mentally for sure. Every morning, he'd continue to pounce on the roof, but sadly, Hiccup would never wake up to ride him.
"So I told the town," Astrid said, breaking the silence. "And the guys. Some took it better than others, but they're all really upset. Even Snotlout."
"As well they should be. It's an upsetting time. I'm surprised you're handling it well."
"Handling it well? Hiccup you don't know the half of it. Death effects more than the dying."
"Astrid, you just found out today that your husband is dying and you're still standing here. Most people would have left by now because they couldn't take the pain. You have a strong heart, Astrid. You're the strongest person I know and not just because you could take me in a fight. You're still here and you will always be here. I know it's hard to be with someone who's dying, but you're here. You are strong."
"Hiccup, I love you! I would never leave you. I vowed I'd always be with you until death do..." Sadness caught in her throat and she couldn't form the words without bursting into tears. Hiccup knew what she meant though. He abandoned his cooking and got up to embrace Astrid. He hugged her and held her close, never wanting to let go. But he had to to say what he said next.
"About that... You did vow to be with me until... then. And then will be soon so... How did I say this? Once I'm gone, I give you full permission to remarry. Promise me..."
"What? No! Hiccup!"
"Shh, let me explain. I'm not gonna be here forever. You deserve someone who is going to be. You want children and a family and love and I can't give you that. But someone else can. Find him and never let him go. I'll be okay! Don't feel guilty about it, I give you permission."
"But I can't love someone else the way I love you."
"Oh, come on now! The world is... Round, I don't care what anyone else thinks. But it's also large. There's bound to be someone out there that you love. You can't possibly love me and only me. You love your parents, you love Stormfly, you love me, and you also love another man. You jut need to find him. Start a life with him and be happy. I don't want to spend my last few days arguing with you. Promise me, Astrid?"
"I... I... I'll try..."
"But, I mean don't force yourself! If you truly don't find someone, that's fine. But if you do, go get him."
"I love you, Hiccup."
"I know." Hiccup held Astrid's hands and looked into her eyes. They stood the exact same way one year ago when they got married. With all the confusion of that day, Hiccup had forgotten all about it until right then and there.
"Happy anniversary." He said softly. He leaned in and kissed Astrid. Tears snuck out of her eyes as she kissed back. A year ago they were ready to start a life together. Now, that precious life was being torn apart.
In the heat of the moment, Hiccup had forgotten about the fish and his dinner. He was snapped out of the kiss and into reality by the sound of a dragon eating. He turned around to find Toothless's head buried deep in the bucket of fish. Toothless sensed the eyes staring at him and he stopped eating to stare back. He gave Hiccup a gummy smile and chucked. Hiccup did the same as he grabbed Astrid's hand.
"C'mon, I guess it's time for dinner." He lead her over to the couch and sat her down. He grabbed two plates and silverware. He handed a set to Astrid and placed a set where he was sitting. Next, he took the well-cooked fish off the stick and began cutting it into small pieces. When he finished, he placed some fish on Astrid's plate and put the rest on his. Toothless continued to eat out of the bucket and made it a point to eat as loudly as possible.
"Looks good, Hiccup!" Astrid said, picking up a chunk with her fork.
"I had a lot of time on my hands. First time in a while."
"At least the good thing is when you're feeling alright, you can relax."
"Yea. But according to Halvard it won't last long. Be careful what you wish for. Being chief is stressful but I don't want it to end this way! Gods..."
"Let's not talk about that now, Hiccup. Let's just enjoy the food." With that, they both proceeded to dine on their delicious fish. They made simultaneous "yum" noises as they took their first bite. They both laughed at their synchronization at the same time as well. Hiccup and Astrid were two peas in a pod.
Many minutes passed and dinner was finished. Astrid took care of the plates and silverware while Hiccup remained by the fire. He stared into it very intently not able to take his eyes off the dancing flames. The fire moved seamlessly and seemed to invite him in. It's orange and yellow flames teased Hiccup and beckoned him in. It looked so warm, so inviting. He felt it's heat radiate warmth and desire and death. It was a beautiful but deadly sight. Something so necessary and so beautiful was also so deadly and could kill. Just one quick move and he would be engulfed by the flames. Yet, Hiccup still stared and stared unable to break his gaze. Soon, he began to zone out and became absorbed into the world of fire. He was so lost in it's radiant flame that he could start to feel it's deadly burn. His head and his heart pounded as the burn became deadlier and deadlier. It started in his hand and traveled fast. But Hiccup still stared deeper and wasn't able to shake the gaze. His mind spun around and his heart began to pump faster. The fire started to wrap around him and take him and embrace him and he couldn't shake it off. His eyes remained wide and his body remained still. He heard someone yelling his name but he couldn't tell who. All he saw was the tango of the orange flames and all he heard was his heart pounding in his ears. He felt the burn and even tasted the smoke. The flames wrapped themselves around him and ensnared him until he no longer saw them. It all happened so fast. Now, all he saw was a dark, black void and all he heard was the sound of empty air.
"Mom..?" A groggy Hiccup asked as he began to open his eyes. His throat was as dry as a desert and his body burned in a thousand places. He was sure he was dead.
"Yes, son. I'm here." Valka replied, laying a hand on her sons forehead. She let it linger there for a little longer than she should have then promptly took it off.
"Am I dead yet?"
"Gods, no! If you were dead you'd be seeing your father here, not me."
"Mom.. I..."
"Shhh, sweetheart, don't push yourself. Relax. You should go back to sleep, you need rest. Do you need water or anything I can get it..." Hiccup struggled to speak again, knowing what he wanted to say but not being able to say it. It pained Valka to watch her son endure this. Hiccup wasn't the only one who was hurting and in pain. Valka hurt and much like her son, she had to endure it. But enduring it is what she had to do. People said that there was nothing they could do but they were wrong. There was one thing. Valka, Astrid, and the rest of the town could be there for Hiccup and comfort him, making his last few days meaningful. They could give him something, or someone, to live for. It was painful to watch his struggle, but it's what she had to do. She was a mother, it was an occupational hazard.
It had been an hour or two since Hiccup's fire episode. Luckily Valka had come home from tending the wounded just in time to help Astrid tend one more. She sat by his bedside for some time while Astrid slept on the couch. She looked at him, her son, and counted every breath he took, knowing that one day soon that number would reach an end. In his peaceful, painful sleep Valka counted over a thousand breaths and didn't take a single one for granted. She'd missed so many in his 20 some years of living. She vowed to herself that she was not going to miss anymore. She'd keep counting right up until the last breath he ever took.
Slowly, Hiccup pulled himself up to a sitting position on his bed and ran his hands through his messy hair.
"How long has it been?" He asked.
"About an hour or two since dinner." He made a small groan noise and let his head sink down.
"I don't feel good."
"I know honey, none of us do."
"I'm.. Sorry I'm such a pain..."
"Hiccup! You're not a pain at all!"
"People are worrying about me, mom. Astrid's upset, you're upset, the towns upset. Everyone's worried about me and I bring them down. All I ever do is screw life up for everyone else. Even when my life is ending."
"Hiccup please... Don't talk like that. It's a natural human response to feel sad in a situation like this. It's not your fault."
"But I'm dying. It is my fault."
"Please..."
"Mom..." He looked up at her with seriousness and tears swelling in his eyes.
"Son?" She inched closer, taking his cheek in her hand and looking at him.
"Mom... I...I... I don't wanna die. I don't want die, mom. I don't wanna die." He kept repeating this as Valka held him close to her broken heart. Both mother and son shed tears.
"I don't want you to die either, Hiccup. I only just met you." He sobbed more as Valka made her way to sit on the side of his bed. She held him close and rocked him the way a mother would cradle her newborn child. She ran her hand up and down his hair and broke her promise to herself by losing count of his now rapid, sob-induced breaths. She rocked and cradled him and began to softly sing a song. She sang this song to him when we he was just a newborn babe and she hasn't sung it since. Still, all the words were fresh in her mind as if she'd sung it yesterday.
Don't worry baby boy
The world is not so big
You've let to learn and yet to grow
But for now, I shall sing
Baby boy
Baby blue
Baby sleep
The whole night through
Baby boy
Baby stay
Baby mine
Don't slip away
You are small but you will grow
And very soon before you know
You'll be off, up, up and gone
But forever and always, hear my song
Baby boy
Baby blue
Baby sleep
The whole night through
Baby boy
Baby stay
Baby mine
Don't slip away
Don't slip away.
The last line of song trailed off as Hiccup fell asleep in her arms. Valka gently placed him in his bed and kissed his forehead. She looked one last time at her sleeping son and wiped tears from her eyes. She picked her broken heart up off the floor and walked away, shutting the door behind her. Valka loved a lot, and the price of love was loss. The more people she loved, the more people she'd loose. But it was a small price to pay for the amazing feeling that is love. She loved Hiccup, Astrid, Toothless, everyone. And one day, she'd lose them all. But she was a human. It was an occupational hazard.
This shall be known as the chapter that took me forever and a day to write. Again, super sorry! I'll try to get back on a regular posting schedule this coming week. I think I'll post a new chapter every Monday, Tuesday at the absolute latest. Be on the look out for the next chapter which I WILL be posting on time next Monday. If I don't post it on time, I give you guys permission to yell at me.
