A/N: Ok here's the second part. There definitely will be a third. Thanks to Everyone who has reviewed! I really appreciate you taking the time to do so, I know this idea was a risky one, but once it was stuck in my head I had to write it.

*Again, any reviews/criticism is always more then welcomed. It will most def help me finish the ending.. ;-)

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west was all but won..

She thought she was ready, she really did.

Having a big moment like graduating from college happen-a moment in which she realized that it just might be time to go home, to face what she's been running from for all these years-Sawyer finally felt like she had figured out something worthy and profound.

Something so big and important that had her really believing that she could just go back and make things better.

She started really considering going back to Tree Hill, even if only for the summer.

She could have time with her family, doing all the things she loved to do when she was a kid. And just maybe she could find time to figure out all the rest. Learn about her parents. Try to heal from the past, maybe if she was lucky, try to figure out what she wants in life. Like what she really wants.

But it didn't really happen that way.

A day before all her family is set to fly back to Tree Hill, back to home, Sawyer and her cousin Jamie had a really long talk. A really long talk.

"So I need to ask you something, and its like important.." He says as he stops walking and sits by a bench near by.

They had gone out for coffee and somehow had ended up walking the long way back to Sawyer's apartment. The long way through the park, that was completely the opposite of her apartment.

"Okay… So what is it? The silence is scaring me here.." She says with a smirk. A smirk only a Scott can give.

"Right so, I know I haven't asked in a really long time, but I was kind of hoping, well with the time you off this summer, maybe…"

"What Jamie? Your rambling…" She says it with a laugh.

"I was wondering if you would want to come home this summer. I mean it could be a lot of fun, with me and Emily finally moving back.."

Jamie might have married young, but he and his wife had taken things much slower afterwards. The past few years they had traveled everywhere, and were just finally setting down. Jamie helping his Dad as assistant head coach of the Ravens, and Emily as a teacher at Tree Hill Elementary.

"I don't know Jamie, I mean I've got a lot I have to get done before September, it just doesn't seem like the right time…" She's lying, and they both know it.

She has been considering going home, but she wants to do it on her own terms. If she promised she would, and then didn't follow through, she would feel even more guilty.

"Come on this is the first summer Brian and Davis aren't gonna be away at basketball camp, and you got Elizabeth there too. We've all really missed you." He says it with such sincerity and those pleading blue eyes. He's a Scott, he knows if he's persistent enough it just might work.

Sawyer has missed her younger cousins. Well they aren't much younger then her actually. The twins, both carbon copies of her Uncle Nathan, are already 17. They're young and talented, and protective and kind. They are definitely Scotts.

And there is Elizabeth, who is so much like her parents it makes Sawyer smile. Elizabeth Haley Baker is the perfect mix of kindness and strength, and she is just about to turn 16. When she thinks about all of them, what she has missed in all the years away, its almost enough to make her cave at her older cousin's plea.

But she doesn't, she's a Scott too. And she's determined and strong willed. And she's stubborn enough (she is her mother's daughter) to not back down.

She does want to go back to Tree Hill, and she feels like it's the right time, but she just doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up.

"I've really missed you guys too. But I really don't know if I'm gonna have the time this summer, maybe.. Ok?"

"Sawyer…look. I know it's hard ok, and I know we've never talked about it. Your Mom and your Dad. And maybe that's my fault. Hell maybe its all of are faults.." He has never once in all these years brought this up. Her parents. But he's just so frustrated, and more then annoyed at his cousin that he just has to say something. He can't not say something.

When his Aunt and Uncle died it was so hard for him, on everyone. But specially Sawyer. It was an unspoken truth amongst the rest of the family to never push Sawyer about her parents, mostly because they didn't want her to deal with it before she was ready.

But now Jamie is starting to think, that wasn't the best idea, because its been seven years, and she still hasn't opened up, to anyone. Of course he knows that grief is a process, and it takes time, but now is he only starting to realize that that process won't be over if it hasn't even started.

"Jamie, this isn't about that. Just stop. It's not about them or what happened." She's lying again, and they both know it.

"No, just listen ok? I know I don't know what's its like to lose your parents.. I know I'm lucky that my mom and dad have always just been there. But Sawyer, I lose them too ok? We all did. And its not the same lost, but its still lost." He says the words without thinking.

He's trying to be understanding as possible, but there is only so much he understands himself. Because truthfully, he doesn't get why his cousin has pretty much forgotten home. Why she sees the need to never go back to Tree Hill, when she still has so many people who love her there.

Sawyer has officially gone from being attentive to her cousin's words to downright pissed off. She knows she has never really spoken up about how she feels, but she kind of just thought it was a given.

"You know what, your right. You don't know what its like. I hope you don't have to know. But because you don't, I really don't think you get the right to tell me what to do, or how to handle myself…" She gives her cousin one more look of pure anger and then storms off.

"Sawyer just wait ok!" He runs to catch her. Jamie is more then aware that he has to try to calm her down because he might be an adult-a grown man, with a wife, and a house and a career-but if his parents or his Aunt and Uncle for that matter, see that he has made his little cousin this upset…well he knows it won't be good for him.

"I'm sorry ok? I just want you to be happy. And I really think you wont be until you stop running…and just deal." He looks into her blue eyes and he feels horrible for ever bringing it up, even if he still thinks he should.

Because when he looks at her, really looks, he sees the fifteen year old who is still in shock from losing her parents. And that nearly breaks his heart. He knows that everyone is partly to blame for the fact that Sawyer never really dealt with her parent's deaths, but how she is reacting now to his words, has him understanding why they all have been avoiding it for so long.

She does want to be happy, of course she does. Before he put it to question, she thought that she was. Now she's not so sure. And that alone makes her want to cry, makes her start to cry.

"Hey, please don't.. please don't cry. My dad will kill me if he sees I made you cry. They all will." He says with a smile as he wipes away the tears as they fall on her cheeks.

She laughs at his words, puts on a smile, and tells him she's fine, but she's not. Not anymore.

And even if her cousin is right-she knows he is-she doesn't want/have to admit that. So just maybe now is not when she should go home.

All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".

Right before the family was leaving to head to the airport, Sawyer's Grandma took her aside and gave her one last graduation gift.

It was a big cardboard box, with her name written on top.

Sawyer took the box and put it aside not sure what more she could be given. It seemed everyone in her family had already given gifts for her graduation. Extravagant gifts that were more then she needs.

This gift is different.

She thinks she knows who its from, and that alone has her taken back. The way her name is written in all capitalize letters, leads her to think of only one person. And thinking of him, has Sawyer thinking of her too.

When her Grandma goes to hug her after the exchange and then whispers words that should have been a very touching statement, instead have Sawyer totally second guessing her decision.

"They would have been so proud of you my girl, I just know it. They loved you more then anything.."

That one statement alone nearly breaks Sawyer's heart.

Of course she knows they would have been proud of her, but their pride and love and anything else for that matter, hadn't been enough for them to still be there. Nothing she did, or would ever do, would be known by them. And that was heartbreaking.

And knowing that her parents wouldn't be there when they should have been, made all that anger and sadness and regret come back, emotions just to powerful and real to be overcome right at that moment.

So just as fast as her strength to go back had come to her, its gone just as quickly.

Sawyer understands why her Grandma said what she did, why Jamie tried to convince her to go home, but it doesn't change how she is feeling. And if something so simple as a few conversations could have her backing down so quickly, she knows there is no way she can face a whole town filled with things far to important to forget-even if she has tried over the years.

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?

Of course one day she will have to have to deal with it, whether its going back to Tree Hill or just finding the courage to read from one of her dad's books or looking though her mom's art, but maybe today just isn't the day.

Or at least she doesn't have to make it that day. Not if she doesn't want too.

She assumes that there is always plenty of time for that sort of thing. That her time over the summer would be better spent setting up her new life in the city. Exploring and adjusting and getting comfortable.

Realistically there might not be a right time to do what she knows she has to, but she is more then sure that Now is not the time. Because she's scared and unsure and just maybe, still not ready.

She tells herself that she can be as irrational about a very logical idea all she wants, because as much as her mind is telling that going home is inevitable, her heart reminds her that it won't be easy.

Remembering, learning new things, reliving her past will all bring with it nothing more then cementing a truth she has known for more then seven years.

Her parents are gone. And nothing can change that.

When Sawyer pulls away from her grandmother's embrace, and both are crying, its for two completely different reasons, and only Sawyer knows that fact.

Her grandma tells her that the gift wasn't from her, but was from her parents. She had figured as much. She still remembers her Dad's handwriting. He was the only person she had ever met who could write so neatly in capital letters.

Karen goes on to tell Sawyer it was something she knew they would want her to have, that it had been made especially for her, and now seemed the right time to pass it along. Knowing that to be true, has her terrified to know what the possible contents of the box might be.

When Sawyer notices all the worried and concerned glances of her Aunts and Uncles, she knows its something that's way more meaningful and important than anything else she was given for the occasion.

Its something big.

Something that just might have the potential to change her life.

All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang..

There is no way she can bring herself to see what's inside that box.

Of course she wants to know. Who wouldn't? But Sawyer knows that if see looks, and undoubtedly breaks down because of what's inside, the two people who she needs to be there, wont be. So she doesn't really see any point in opening it. Even if she is really, really curious.

When she goes to the airport with all her family, and they say things like 'goodbye' and 'see you soon' its very clear to everyone that the only times they will be seeing her is if they fly for a visit, now to New York, because there is no way it will be the opposite situation.

A few days later as she packs up her little apartment, the one she has called home for the past few years, and she begins to put trinkets and mementos into boxes, she finds something she had forgotten she still owned.

A small framed sketch of a boy with spiky hair wearing a jersey with a number 3 on it, and a girl with curly hair dressed in a cheer leading uniform. Its been sitting on her dresser for the past four years, and not once in all that time did she ever really look at it. Now she does though.

She looks at that picture-even if its really hard to see her parents like that, young, carefree, and so obviously happy- and she smiles.

She knows one day she will know who these people were and all the amazing things they did. Today is just not that day. Because today is right now. And right now its still really damn hard. Too Hard.

Because right now, all she sees when she looks at that sketch is two people who aren't here, and who she still really wishes was.

For now that wish has to be enough.

She puts the frame in a box with all sorts of other things that are too valuable to be left behind, like books-the ones she has yet to read-with the name Scott written on the cover, and Cds-the ones she has yet to listen to-that were produced by a P. Scott.

She makes sure that box, along with the one her Grandma left her, are all shipped, safely, to New York. She might not ever look through them, or even open them, but she knows there too important to not have.

And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

She didn't go to Tree Hill the summer after she graduated, but after a few short months of being in the big city, Sawyer is more then certain it was the right choice.

She had the opportunity to spend an entire summer roaming around Manhattan, getting situated in her new apartment and walking the city for new things to see and do, really for the first time enjoying meaningless leisure time.

She also spent her time excitedly anticipating the start of her internship.

Believe it or not, Sawyer had figured out a way to incorporate both of her talents into one career.

Advertisement.

At the end of her junior year of college, when she started to realize that graduation would be in less then a year, she started to put in some thought as to what she would do with a degree in Art and a degree in Literature.

One Wednesday when she was discussing her situation with her Uncle Julian, he suggested the idea. When he rationally told her that with her expertise in drawing and with words, Advertising would be a perfect fit for both skills, she was pretty much sold.

The way he put it, every good Ad campaign always had two things. Really amazing images and just as important catch phrases.

He challenged her to find someone better at both creating amazing drawings and writing meaningful things than her. When she couldn't think of anyone, and when she really looked into the profession and found she could work doing the two things she loved the most, it seemed like it was decided.

When she mentioned the idea to the rest of her family later that week, it was unanimous, everyone thought that it was ideal for Sawyer.

So when Senior year came around, somehow Sawyer managed to take just enough business classes to get a minor in the subject, figuring that that along with her two majors, she would have a serious edge over any competition.

It was really no surprise when just a month before graduation, one of the biggest firms in the country called her back after receiving her resume, and asked her if she would be interested in interning for them after school was over.

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded

So with her job-really it was an internship, but it had the potential of being her job if she proved herself-still not set to start until the fall, Sawyer had a full three months to do absolutely anything she wanted. She used the time as wisely as she could.

She explored and saw as much as she could; art galleries, museums, any venue that was remotely creative and artistic.

After a surprise visit by her aunts midway through the summer, she veered away from her newfound routines.

To make her Aunt Haley happy she started to go to open mic nights at a small café down the block from her building. According to her Aunt, music had the ability to make things amazing, she said all Sawyer had to do was listen, and then she would understand.

To make her Aunt Brooke happy, she threw in time for shopping and time for boys too. Apparently as her Aunt put it, shopping and boys were always the thing to do. Wherever. Whenever.

Well to be entirely honest the shopping part was easy, after all Brooke Davis was her Aunt.

The boys part was a little bit of work. Its not that she didn't try to find the right guy, its just every guy she did find, wasn't right.

Really even during college, Sawyer had had the same problem.

She would meet a guy who was nice, but wasn't much of a reader. Or one that was sweet, but could care less about Art. Or one that was beyond gorgeous, but had no idea who NOFX was.

Or it just might have been the fact that she is just a little over protective of her heart, and any guy she has been with has never been able to get her to open up.

But when she thinks about it more, she knows she has every right to feel that way. She knows better then anyone, that just because someone might love you, it doesn't stop them from leaving. Its just an inevitable part of life. People Always Leave.

So really what the point in love, if it wont last? Is it really worth the risk, the heartbreak?

But she stops her self from going any further, she doesn't want to think so hard about things like love and meeting the guy and living happily ever after, (she knows that isn't real, she never did believe in fairy tales) because she has lived a long time without it. She is more then capable of being on her own, she has been doing it since she was fifteen and a half mind you.

So she spends the summer not thinking about finding that right guy-the one who would love Shakespeare and Monet and Cash just as much as her-or about that small town down she grew up in, the one that she hasn't stepped foot in in over four years but still thinks about, and instead tried to just have fun.

She decides to not worry about the big stuff, and just live in the moment, and enjoy the city, and places and the people.

Things were going good. She thought back to her conversation she had with Jamie not more then 4 months before, and figured he might have been wrong afterall, because she feels happy. She feels like this is right. She thinks it couldn't get better then this, living in New York, and just enjoy life.

But she knows that its this easy because she's ignoring real life to pretend things are okay. But she can do the pretending, she has been since she was fifteen.

Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me..

Somewhere in between loving the city and enjoying life and feeling happy, Sawyer sort of figured out that she hated it. All of it.

Her job-the internship that became a permanent job placing after only two months of hard work-isn't really what she thought it would be.

Its boring and she doesn't really get to do the things she loves the most, at least not the way she wants too. Everything is just so technical and precise, and all just too mediocre.

She used to be the girl who used Art to express who she was, to show the world what made her, her. And not too long ago she thought words were fascinating and inspiring, and they had the ability to make everything relatable.

She doesn't want to have to try to make up campaigns to sell some horrible smelling soap or really bad tasting gum. She could careless about pop words that catch consumer's eyes, or having to make sure there isn't too much red in a certain logo, because according to her boss people don't like red, its too pretentious.

Well Sawyer loves Red. Its one of her favorite colors. And right now she is so creatively annoyed that she wants to color everything red. She thinks that she shouldn't have to compromise so much in her work. She wants to be fulfilled and accomplished in what she does.

She wants for her Art to Matter. But its not, at least not the way she wants it too.

And then there's the city itself. The summer she spent roaming around and doing things she wanted had been great, but now that she had a place to be at everyday, at the same time each day-well, all the spontaneous things and crowds of people all just seem like noise and traffic, and its just not all that fun anymore.

She feels like she is swimming in the ocean, and as much as she is trying to stay a float, the waves are just to strong and she just cant keep herself up anymore.

When November comes around, and Thanksgiving is just a few days away, she books a flight. She knows it might be the biggest mistake ever. It might be overwhelming and too hard to handle.

Or it just might be the best thing she has ever done.

She books a flight to Tree Hill. A flight to home.

It might be still really scary, and too damn hard, but its just as bad in New York. In Tree Hill there's family. There are people who will help her, and love her. And just be there. She thinks that reason enough.

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known

She surprises everyone when she shows up on Thanksgiving day-it was the only flight she could get home-and it all feels right. For the first time, in a long time, it feels right. To be in this town, with all these people, to be home.

Nobody can believe that Sawyer Scott is actually back in Tree Hill. Its been so many years since she has been in this little town; and everyone is so excited and happy that she made the trip, that no one really questions it. Except her Uncle Nathan.

After dinner is over, its no surprise when all the Scotts and the Bakers end up at that old court by the river, for a little post holiday game of basketball.

Nathan-once a NBA star, now high school coach-decides to sit out. Instead he asks Sawyer if she's interested in a walk around the waterfront. Of course she wants to play, but she can't say no to her Uncle.

As the two leave the group, and begin to walk on the pier, it becomes pretty obvious that her Uncle is more observant that anyone ever gives him credit for.

"So how bad are things in New York?" He never was one for subtly.

"Well I'm Tree Hill, so what do you think?" Neither is Sawyer though.

Nathan knows there is two ways too handle this. He can try to push his niece into doing something she knows she should do, but doesn't want to do. Or he can make her think it was her decision all along. He decides on the latter.

"I think, your not happy Sawyer. And I think you can be."

"Well if lets say by chance, your right…Then how do I get to happy?" She can't let on that he's right, even if they both he is. It seems like everyone has realized Sawyer's unhappiness before she has.

"That's for you to figure out. All I know, is that you deserve happy. Probably more then anyone." He knows he has to choice his words, Sawyer is more like her parents then she knows. He can't make her doing anything. And he can't make it sound like he has, or else she wont do it.

They keep walking in silence, and he isn't sure he has made himself clear. But Sawyer is a smart girl. He thinks there isn't anymore left to say.

Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be..
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

She was supposed to leave early Friday morning. She had the rest of the weekend off from work, but her flight had been booked. She woke up on Friday, and decided she wasn't ready to leave, so she cancelled.

She's staying with her Grandma-she wasn't all too keen on spending the night at her house, alone, by herself-and when she notices one of her Dad's books, Ravens, sitting on a nearby shelf in her Grandmother's living room, for some reason, one she still doesn't understand, she picks it up. And she starts to read it.

Maybe it's the words her Uncle said to her the night before, about finding happiness. It could be the conversation back in June she had with Jamie. Or the lingering curiosity she has always had about her Dad's work. Or just maybe, she just stopped thinking so much, and just did it.

Whatever it is, it has her sitting there enthralled by what's on the page.

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?

She couldn't have read right, right?

Her dad and Aunt Brooke.. Together. Like in In a relationship, together. Huh?

Considering that her dad wasn't around to answer her questions Sawyer knew she had only once choice. She walks the 10 minutes to her Aunt's boutique and sought out the other half of the puzzle.

"Oh hey sawyer, how are you doing today sweetie?" Brooke asked in her sweet raspy tone.

"Don't sweetie me, not when I'm this pissed and confused and just really weirded out!" Sawyer spat out.

"Whoa.. You sound so much like your mom when your angry it's scary..." Brooke said almost ready to smile. Considering how serious Sawyer is being she doesnt. Even if it was really hard not too.

"You and my dad!! Aunt Brooke, you were with my dad, like with my dad!!" Sawyer argues, throwing her arms up as, letting Brooke notice the very tattered copy of "Unkindness of Ravens" in her nieces hand. Things were making sense. Well a little more sense.

"Your reading his first book, huh? Umm, ok. Why don't we.." Brooke spoke as she gestured for Sawyer to follow her into the back of the store.

"Listen sawyer, I know this is all new to you, I mean all that's in the book, and what happened all those years ago. Your parents past..." Brooke didn't quite know to explain.

Brooke knew what was in the book, and the many details that weren't. She was more then relieved to see Sawyer finally take an interest into her parent's lives, she knew realistically it had been a long time coming. She just never prepared herself for it. She wanted to be honest with her niece, as she always had been, but given how she was dealing she thought the cliff notes version was best.

"Yeah it was a long time ago, but it still happened." Sawyer states matter of factually as she puts one hand on her hip. She really is like her mother Brooke thinks.

"Right, it happened. I was there. But I bet you haven't gotten to the part where your parents sneak around behind my back, right? Because that part really sucked, in my opinion.."

Sawyer cant understand how Brooke can share all this and still be smiling as she says it. She has no doubt that her Aunt would never lie to her, not tell information, apparently; But she had never lied before.

"Why do you sound like it doesn't bother you? I mean if that's true, even if no one seems to be willing to telling you stuff, how are you ok with it.." she huffs out, still infuriated that she hadn't known so much. Technically she knows its her fault she knows none of this. But still she's really confused right now, and she needs to yell and question someone about all this.

"Your telling me... Tree Hill is, full of secrets. But Sawyer, none of it matters. I mean the part about me and your dad…. I mean it did, like a million years ago. But even back then, it wasn't ever more then high school love.. It was nothing compared to what your Mom and Dad had, like True Love."

"It wasn't True Love?" Sawyer tries to grasp it all. But man is there so much to this town's past.

"No sweetie it wasn't. I know your head is probably spinning, and your confused and maybe feeling a little betrayed but just know that we all love ok?" Brooke says all she thinks Sawyer needs to hear to make this ok.

"And know that no over ever brought this particular stuff up because it just doesn't mean much. Now can you do me a favor, especially if your going to keep reading your dad's books, which by the way I think is a great idea!" Brooke squeals in delight.

She could always do that. Ask for something then make a compliment to get what she wanted.

"What's the favor aunt Brooke?" Sawyer asks as she tilts her head in a questioning way.

"Just remember that first and foremost, I'm your aunt Brooke and I've always been your favorite." Brooke continues when she saw the smile of Sawyer begin to grow.

"Which means regardless of what's in any book, I will always be your favorite ok?" she nodded in confirmation.

"Okay.." sawyer nods right back.

"Good. Now secondly, I'm warning you that if you keep reading, your gonna find out that things got kind of rocky for your parents, I mean really rocky, like crazy.."

"Aunt Brooke.." Sawyer interrupts.

"Right, so just remember that they're love is, was Forever love."

"Forever love."

"yeah.. Oh and if your going in order, when you get to your Dad's third book, be prepared for a Peyton and Uncle Julian, ah.. Relationship." Brooke winces as she said. She wasn't bothered with all of their twisted past, only because the twists and craziness had ended long ago, she knew for Sawyer it was just beginning.

"What! Really? Like.. Together, together? Whoa." Sawyer said shocked.

"Yeah I know honey.." Brooke said as she pats Sawyer shoulder As they walked back to the front of the shop. "Tree hill is just one confusing drama filled mess. Your reading about it, but I lived it."

"But I don't have to tell you that it all works out, eventually."

"Right." Sawyer said as she was walking towards the door. She turns around as a second thought.

"You know I knew about my mom and Uncle Nate, Jamie told me when I was like 10. It was weird and the way mom explained it and talked to me about it, I just sort of forgot it happened. But you and Dad? Did not see that coming.." She says as she turns and walks again.

"I know honey, no one did." Brooke says with a laugh, as she thinks back to all those years ago. Back when she was a lot less careless and maybe just a little too trusting for her own good. She has long since gotten over it-after all she and Julian did write their own epic love story-but it definitely gives her perspective on how happy she is in life now.

"And Sawyer?" She shouts right before her niece is out the door.

"I'm always going to be here. To talk about it all. I'm sure your going to have questions, and I just want you to know if I have the answers, I'm more then willing to give them. And that goes for your Aunt Haley, your Uncles, your Grandma… We're all here for you Honey."

"You guys always are. I know Aunt Brooke. I'm sure I'll be see you again." Sawyer says as she shuts the door behind her.

Brooke watches her go, full well knowing that Sawyer is so much like her parents, that she'll try to do this all on her own, even if, everyone wants to help. But maybe that's the way its supposed to be. None of them, never once, had pushed her. And maybe it took seven years, but just maybe it had too take this long.

All Brooke hopes for as she gets back to her work, is that just maybe in the end, all this research Sawyer is doing, will finally bring her some peace.

Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Sawyer gets back to house from her trip into town, and contemplates if she should keep reading.

Of course she's curious by her father's story-her parent's story-she wants to know all that happened, how they ended up the way they did.

But after her Aunt's words of warning, she's not so sure she can take anymore shocks or surprises.

She cant stop herself though, so she keeps reading.

She reads about the love triangle her parents and Aunt were apart of. The twist and turns her Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan went through after their marriage at 16. She reads about things that should be common in any teenagers life, like basketball games and school fundraisers, family and friendship. But in Tree Hill, such normal things are beyond bizarre and dramatic.

Then she gets to a part of her families history that she does know about.

A school shooting, that took the life of her Great Uncle, and as a result the life of her Grandfather as well. She tries to wrap her head around that particular event, but it doesn't make sense. How could a brother kill his own brother? How could hate overcome and win?

She knows these are questions she could ask to any of the many people she knows who were there that day. One of her Aunts, or her Uncle, or even her Grandma. But she thinks that even though it might have happened years and years ago, its still probably really hard to talk about. So instead she keeps reading, she hopes her dad's words will help her make sense of something that seems so senseless.

But as she keeps going, it seems like her Dad never figured it out either.

She thinks that maybe there are no answers to her questions, at least not ones that make much sense. Because she knows that its all so complicated and tragic. She considers that just maybe, its just really unfortunate that it happened at all, and all she does understand is that, it brought her parents even more closer.

Then agaian, alot of things brought them together.

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages, never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

And as she keeps reading, she starts to see a pattern.

In all that her Dad had written about his life-specially is life after he had met her Mom-it seems that every time her Mom was in trouble, he saved her.

Whether it was from running red lights, dealing with adoptive mothers, gun shot wounds, psycho stalkers, or just opening up to love…. Sawyer's Dad always, always saved her Mom.

Then she realizes as she begins to read about a state championship game, Sawyer's mom always saved her Dad right back.

"...Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzers, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from 1,000 miles away, and what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton. The girl whose art, passion, and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth - I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer."

She reads the words and can just picture it all. The people and the noise, the excitement and relief. She can picture the two of them together on that court with all the chaos but still completely in their own world. It all seems pretty magical.

And after reading this much of the first book, realizing just how much it took them to get there, and even though she knows they eventually got things together-she is proof of that fact-its just an amazing moment to read about. The immensity of their love, all the words her dad wrote about her mom; words like passion and beauty, it kind of has her questioning how she looks at love.

Maybe it wasn't… it isn't a waste of time. Maybe its worth it.

It seemed to be for them. All things her father wrote about… Everyday problems like Teenage angst and fear. Beyond belief situations like shootings and stalkers. They fought against it all. They loved each other enough.

Maybe she can find that too.

She thinks about it more, and she decides right then and there, that maybe its time to make this visit permanent.

Sawyer decides that maybe she should stay.

Maybe she belongs in Tree Hill.

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me

TBC... (SONG: The Fray-"You Found Me")